Quote by mistress_sassy
hmmm and without causing a big row......... but getting all political..........
Most countries are run by men
Most companies are run by men
Countries fight wars and companies pollute the earth
Hmmm if women were in charge I'm surewe would talk about the problem first not start a fight!
And to finish...........
What do Hiltler, Idi Armin, Pol Pot, George Bush, saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Ladin, all have in common........hmmm yep youve got it....they're all men!
I agree completely, if women ruled the world, war and disharmony would end overnight
PS you missed Tony Blair- bloody idiot
Runs away to take cover and laugh at repsonses.......... :twisted:
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The Difference between Man & Woman
1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
Sex God
Rubber gloves
Quote by LadyFeeBee
Man will NOT ask for directions and goes round in circles saying "I know EXACTLY where we are".
Woman asks for directions and reaches her destination - no problem.
Fee
XX
Man buys a shiny gadget that tells him exactly where he is and how to get to his destination with no fuss and no winding the window down.
Woman looks at map whilst plotting route to Essex, Dave_Notts says, "That's Cornwall sweetheart!"
Quote by mistress_sassy
hmmm and without causing a big row......... but getting all political..........
Most countries are run by men
Most companies are run by men
Countries fight wars and companies pollute the earth
Hmmm if women were in charge I'm surewe would talk about the problem first not start a fight!
And to finish...........
What do Hiltler, Idi Armin, Pol Pot, George Bush, saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Ladin, all have in common........hmmm yep youve got it....they're all men!
Runs away to take cover and laugh at repsonses.......... :twisted:
Tut, ffs, there's always one that tries to inject seriousness into a peurile thread!
Me playing devil's advocate based on my own experiences:
Men sneeze once and rattle the windows (I've turned into my Dad!)
Women sneeze 400 times in quick succession sounding like a rabbit backfiring.
Men sweat
Women glow(hah!)
Men go for a dump
Women powder their noses
Men don't use maps, don;t ask for directions and get lost
Women try to read maps, get it wrong, DO ask for directions, misunderstand directions when given and get lost.
Men can't find anything in the fridge
Women periodically rearrange fridge to confuse the men
Men can't figure out how to wash non-iron shirts so they come out not needing ironing
Women can't resist using 'tumble dry' for everything - wool included
Women abandon used crockery around the house until there is nothing left clean to use
Men end up collecting said crockery and hand washing it cos the food has now stuck to it like glue
Men have one track minds (sex with anyone)
Women have one track minds (rose tinted romantic stroll with Johnny Depp)
Good thing we all love each other innit??!
:happy:
Men sneeze once and rattle the windows (I've turned into my Dad!)
Women sneeze 400 times in quick succession sounding like a rabbit backfiring.
Men sweat
Women glow(hah!)
Men go for a dump
Women powder their noses
Men don't use maps, don;t ask for directions and get lost
Women try to read maps, get it wrong, DO ask for directions, misunderstand directions when given and get lost.
Men can't find anything in the fridge
Women periodically rearrange fridge to confuse the men
Men can't figure out how to wash non-iron shirts so they come out not needing ironing
Women can't resist using 'tumble dry' for everything - wool included
Women abandon used crockery around the house until there is nothing left clean to use
Men end up collecting said crockery and hand washing it cos the food has now stuck to it like glue
Men have one track minds (sex with anyone)
Women have one track minds (rose tinted romantic stroll with Johnny Depp)
Good thing we all love each other innit??!
:happy:
Just read the DaVinci Code (yes I know its meant to be bollox but so what) - what was a clear message is that the world is at its best when men and women are on equal footing neither being in the upper quartile. I think that sounds about right to me. I like being a successful person not a woman who looks at men as just a piece of meat to satisfy my desires 
.................. would never dream of doing that 
:roll: . In the last few months however I have met some interesting men who see women with opinions as scary and threatening which I have been amazed at. Men and women are at there best when they are equal in all areas, work, the home, social and of course pleasure. Its just a shame that hormones, self esteem and self worth sometimes cause an imbalance in our behaviour.
Anyway having tried to get into the chatroom for last hour on my reinstalled computer and failed miserably, I am off to bed feeling like a bloody stupid woman and will have to ring my mate the Pie Man at the weekend for help (how like a woman) :twisted: 8-) :lol: :lol:
.................. would never dream of doing that :roll: . In the last few months however I have met some interesting men who see women with opinions as scary and threatening which I have been amazed at. Men and women are at there best when they are equal in all areas, work, the home, social and of course pleasure. Its just a shame that hormones, self esteem and self worth sometimes cause an imbalance in our behaviour.Anyway having tried to get into the chatroom for last hour on my reinstalled computer and failed miserably, I am off to bed feeling like a bloody stupid woman and will have to ring my mate the Pie Man at the weekend for help (how like a woman) :twisted: 8-)
:lol: :lol: 
Sex God
Quote by marmalaid
A man in a car starts to feel a little cold, he modifies the heating up just a little until he is comfortable.
Woman in a car starts to feel a little cold, she turns the heating up full, she starts to get hot after a while so she turns the heating down to 1/4, gets cold again so she turns it up to 3/4 and so on.
Blimey Marmalaid, you've been driving around with the wrong women. I find they tend to remove their clothing complaining it's too hot.
Don't get me wrong I love it.
John
Sex God
Quote by hertsguy30s
Men don't use maps, don;t ask for directions and get lost
Women try to read maps, get it wrong, DO ask for directions, misunderstand directions when given and get lost.
I like this one!!
:lol: :lol: I'll probably get smacked for saying it but it is so true! :twisted:
Roger the Dragon
Quote by lilacgem
1. The Female always makes The Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)
7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.
17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!
Brilliant!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Master of Sex
All women are physic and know what men are thinking all of the time. Women can lipread from about 500m through a crowded place to what men are saying about them. Women remember every single little word of every conversation they have ever had wth you since the very beginning of a relationship and can recall them in an have a bladder the size of a garden pea. Men will never understand women,are not psychic,can't lipread at 3 feet,can't remember last nights conversation but can down several pints and still not go to the loo because it wastes valuable drinking time,just a few observations.
Quote by mistress_sassy
hmmm and without causing a big row......... but getting all political..........
Most countries are run by men
Most companies are run by men
Countries fight wars and companies pollute the earth
Hmmm if women were in charge I'm surewe would talk about the problem first not start a fight!
And to finish...........
What do Hiltler, Idi Armin, Pol Pot, George Bush, saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Ladin, all have in common........hmmm yep youve got it....they're all men!
Alright darlin' - wot cha wanna do is check arht Maggie Thatcher an' see wot 'appens when a bird finks she can rule a lot more den der kitchen
I make no apology for my rampant sexism / borderline mysogyny, he has to do it for himself. :kick: You know where to send the hate mail, ladies.
Man sneezes once it's hay fever ,man sneezes twice it's a week off work ,man sneezes three times he's got flu and it's two weeks off work and bed.:violin:
Women sneezes once hopes she doesn't wet herself ( if you've had kids you will understand) ,woman sneezes twice buys some tissuses,woman sneezes three times she prays it's not a cold and carries on
Women sneezes once hopes she doesn't wet herself ( if you've had kids you will understand) ,woman sneezes twice buys some tissuses,woman sneezes three times she prays it's not a cold and carries on
Sex God
Quote by Countess
Man sneezes once it's hay fever ,man sneezes twice it's a week off work ,man sneezes three times he's got flu and it's two weeks off work and bed.:violin:
Women sneezes once hopes she doesn't wet herself ( if you've had kids you will understand) ,woman sneezes twice buys some tissuses,woman sneezes three times she prays it's not a cold and carries on
absolutely
Quote by smokerjim
hmmm and without causing a big row......... but getting all political..........
Most countries are run by men
Most companies are run by men
Countries fight wars and companies pollute the earth
Hmmm if women were in charge I'm surewe would talk about the problem first not start a fight!
And to finish...........
What do Hiltler, Idi Armin, Pol Pot, George Bush, saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Ladin, all have in common........hmmm yep youve got it....they're all men!
Alright darlin' - wot cha wanna do is check arht Maggie Thatcher an' see wot 'appens when a bird finks she can rule a lot more den der kitchen
I make no apology for my rampant sexism / borderline mysogyny, he has to do it for himself. :kick: You know where to send the hate mail, ladies.
OI! Come over here and say that ya gobby bloke :P
Minx xx
Sex God
Quote by mistress_sassy
hmmm and without causing a big row......... but getting all political..........
Most countries are run by men
Most companies are run by men
Countries fight wars and companies pollute the earth
Hmmm if women were in charge I'm surewe would talk about the problem first not start a fight!
And to finish...........
What do Hiltler, Idi Armin, Pol Pot, George Bush, saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Ladin, all have in common........hmmm yep youve got it....they're all men!
Runs away to take cover and laugh at repsonses.......... :twisted:
Sorry Sassy,
But I'm not sure that George Bush counts as a man.
John
This winged its way into my 'inbox' this morning - thought I 'd share!!
Men take note ...
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is at least half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Will now join BrightonGeezer in hiding!!
Men take note ...
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is at least half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Will now join BrightonGeezer in hiding!!
