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The Grasshoppers Tale

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Quote by Calista
THE NATURAL LIFECYCLE:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE BIGOTS VIEW OF BRITAIN:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get toBritain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival the tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.
He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug illness.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost GBP10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a
shortfall in government funds.
THE END

You posted, I'm entitled to voice my view on things .... I've changed the title to represent my view ... and if I manage to come up wth an analogy in which the destruction of war and how the moral consequences can easily be distorted I'll post it.
Tolerance ... a small word that small minded people forget.
Understanding ... something the human race demands but never gives.
Charity ... see both the above.
Cx
Here we go again rolleyes
It was a joke...............J-O-K-E.
Oh, I really can't be arsed!
Quote by Lissa
THE NATURAL LIFECYCLE:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE BIGOTS VIEW OF BRITAIN:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get toBritain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival the tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.
He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug illness.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost GBP10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a
shortfall in government funds.
THE END

You posted, I'm entitled to voice my view on things .... I've changed the title to represent my view ... and if I manage to come up wth an analogy in which the destruction of war and how the moral consequences can easily be distorted I'll post it.
Tolerance ... a small word that small minded people forget.
Understanding ... something the human race demands but never gives.
Charity ... see both the above.
Cx
Here we go again rolleyes
It was a joke...............J-O-K-E.
Oh, I really can't be arsed!
I got it and thought it was very toungue in check
Quote by Lissa
Here we go again rolleyes
It was a joke...............J-O-K-E.
Oh, I really can't be arsed!

You posted expecting everyone to agree with you?
Quote by Calista

Here we go again rolleyes
It was a joke...............J-O-K-E.
Oh, I really can't be arsed!

You posted expecting everyone to agree with you?
No, unlike some people on here I realise that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I can also appreciate when something is SUPPOSED to be satirical, and not start having a fit about it, or treating it as a serious piece of work.
Quote by Lissa

Here we go again rolleyes
It was a joke...............J-O-K-E.
Oh, I really can't be arsed!

You posted expecting everyone to agree with you?
No, unlike some people on here I realise that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I can also appreciate when something is SUPPOSED to be satirical, and not start having a fit about it, or treating it as a serious piece of work.
Then ... let me voice my opinion without having a fit about it or treating it like a serious piece of work ... I never called anyone and would suggest that you've taken other peoples opinions personally.
Cx
Quote by Calista

Here we go again rolleyes
It was a joke...............J-O-K-E.
Oh, I really can't be arsed!

You posted expecting everyone to agree with you?
No, unlike some people on here I realise that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I can also appreciate when something is SUPPOSED to be satirical, and not start having a fit about it, or treating it as a serious piece of work.
Then ... let me voice my opinion without having a fit about it or treating it like a serious piece of work ... I never called anyone and would suggest that you've taken other peoples opinions personally.
Cx
Sorry, I don't believe I have had a fit, I'm just bored with the whole thing. If you don't think it's funny, fine. If you do, fine.
I'm off to look at cocks in the Chat room.
biggrin Should have stuck to the cocks in the first place lol
Well done Pololady :!:
Quote by Babe-n-a-biker
biggrin Should have stuck to the cocks in the first place lol

Plenty of cocks outside of the chatroom too :D :D :D :D
sorry . . . that's meant to be funny innit? confused
i can feel me socialist hackles rising! :? to think i spent all that money on Mach 3s and i still have hackles? what was the fookin' point of them at a fiver a bleedin' time then? Gillette can kiss my stubbley arse! :P
right wing bollox, to the point of being downright fucking racist! read it again, cos it ain't funny IMHO! you've just pissed me right off lissa, and i was really liking the avatar as well? sad
i'm almost tempted to deconstruct it quote by quote, and show exactly what it's saying, and just how wrong and objectionable it is, but that would surely be unnecessary, and downright bloody boring for everyone!
all comes down to asylum seekers in the end, eh? lol and them cats and dogs? are they muslims, or smackheads? or maybe both? :P ;)
neil x x x ;)
p.s. no . . . i really was annoyed by that, for all of 2 minutes! feckin' NHS and their 'sense of humour bypass' thingies! been waiting 3 years for that! ;)
i'm being impossibly restrained on this one! lissa? you prolly don't want to know what i think of that post? i'm invoking the 30 minute rule!
If it ws amended slightly to reflect illegal immigrants and the current political structure would you find it funny?
I have to ask, as one of the things I've found when I listen to Joe Public ranting about the state of the country etc. in the pub, is that they bung the asylum seekers in with illegal immigrants and cannot/will not distinguish between the two.
I personally think a lot of people would view it more comfortably as a satarical piss take of the current political agendas of certain groups if it was about illegal immigrants.
Jas
XXX
I have seen it before and did have a chuckle to myself then as I did when I just read it..
I can also see Lissa'a point with regards to this country being a sponge..
Many of those seeking asylum may well have a valid case......Not being privvy to all the information I couldnt possibly say for definate but.....
Why do they pass through several countries before settling here to seek asylum ???
Why can they not seek asylum in the first country they enter after leaving their own ??
I have no beef with the many many who have settled here and make,in their own way,a valuable contribution to the country as a whole whether that be a street sweeper or a doctor it matters not........They are contributing and earning their keep and so are entitled to any and all comforts/benefits this country affords them...
I do whoever have a problem with those that come here to simply freeload off the state and put nothing in...
We are and will continue to have great difficulty in supporting people in this country who are in desperate need of help and the current situation will only serve to make this worse I'm afraid..
Maybe i'm missing somthing here :shock:
I was alway under the impression that
Illegal Immagrant = smuggled in to the country
Asylum seeker = some one that is seek protection in another country from persicution
The doctors i work with in the NHS are here on work visas and contracts which the NHS are now looking at not renewing.
And people who are here to work have immagrated here
(please frogive spelling and any errors)
Quote by Steve_Mids
I can also see Lissa'a point with regards to this country being a sponge..
.

And many other countries (which have joined the EU) also think of this country as a sponge... sponging skilled workers and qualified professionals which they have paid for the education of, which they could have benefited from keeping... and we, yes we the UK send recruiters over to their country to bribe people to come here and give us the benefit of their skills and professions with no state investment on our part.
But that is OK to soak those people up into our sponge... we need those people. Though it is not just about skilled and professional workers....
Have you taken a look outside of worker agencies early in the morning? Who is it that is going to work in the food processing plants for example? Who is it that works for minimum wage making sure you pay less for your tin of baked beans? It is not always the 'born and bred' standing around at 6am waiting for the minibus to take them to work is it?
But that is OK, because they at least are working.... at least they are now.
So OK, these folk who do want to work, who will contribute and will probably end up doing all the crappy jobs which our 'born and bred' wouldn't touch with a bargepole... they are not on the shit-list either.
However, to get them working we will need to give support by arranging housing and welfare whilst they adjust and find work - oh damn... they are back on the shit-list now for being sponging scroungers and freeloading off of the state.
What does the collective labelling by bigots, which parcels all immigrants and asylum seekers into one tidy freeloading stereotype, really do for these people?
As I asked earlier - is it really so black and white?
Quote by PoloLady
As I asked earlier - is it really so black and white?

I think it is yes...
Quote by Steve_Mids

As I asked earlier - is it really so black and white?

I think it is yes...
...and I wish it was.
Is it OK to to be offended by the free and easy use of the word BIGOTS?
Do bigots not have feeling also???
I have now decided on a new career!!! As you can hire professional mourners, I have decided to become a professional offendee. I will start with big topics to be offended about then slowly work my way down.
Right now I'm pretty offended that Shel is not using Heinz baked beans, but some lackluster supermarker own brand!!
So if theres something which offends you mad , but your too lazy to get worked up about it.......HIRE ME. I promise to be so really, really offended on your behalf about any little slight, real or imagined.
Very reasonable rates.
For a supplementry fee I would even get up earlier in the morning so I could be offended for longer!! :x
John
I was off having some incredible sex.... so missed all the posts from Polo and others which were in agreement with my thoughts on this being highly offensive....
in answer to whomever it was that asked me whether I stopped reading..... does turning away from wrong make it right ???
does turning a blind eye make the offence less of an offense ? I don't think so.
I carried on reading cos I wanna be sure that I whole heartedly disagree with your idea of a joke. Wanted to make sure that when I judged your humour it was armed with all the facts.
we don't agree.. I know that now. thankyou for giving me an insight into what you think of as humour - I appreciate it.
I can't add anymore to what Polo has said...... (you have been particularly concise Polo- thankyou )
I am off to find something funny that doesn't involve discrimination and bigotry it won't take me long there is loads on the Forum that fits the bill.
splendid
Quote by PoloLady

As I asked earlier - is it really so black and white?

I think it is yes...
...and I wish it was.
It can be......Sometimes things are only complicated because that is how we make them..dunno
Quote by Steve_Mids

As I asked earlier - is it really so black and white?

I think it is yes...
...and I wish it was.
It can be......Sometimes things are only complicated because that is how we make them..dunno
I can't really agree with your theory of keeping things simple - as you have yet to explain exactly how you make such a complex issue into a simple one. What factors should we actually choose to ignore or remain ignorant of?
I myself find it quite easy...
Same as a lot of other countries.....If you have nothing to offer or are of no benefit then entry is refused..
Works a treat in other countries....Countries that once prison islands in fact so they have come a long way have they not.
Quote by Steve_Mids
I myself find it quite easy...
Same as a lot of other countries.....If you have nothing to offer or are of no benefit then entry is refused..

And that principle makes the story funny dunno
Does your view of what policy should be simplify what has been said and implied in this thread about people already in this country :dunno:
Does that make categorising as simple as people either being 'born and bred' or 'here five minutes' and freeloading? :dunno:
BTW, where exactly do you draw the line on deciding if someone has something to offer or is of benefit?
Lets face it Pl
This country is on its knees and wont be able to stanbd for a long time to come..
By opening the doors to yet more people its just gonna elongate the problem..
Its time to call a halt to it all and soon...
Is it any wonder people take their skills to countries that have this self same attitude.
Shireen has Australian nationality and believe me if it were possible our bags would be packed tomorrow..
I think I have already stated that I don't and wouldn't support an open-door policy... but the policy of the state is not the issue I have a problem with in this thread... it is the labelling and comments made later in the thread in conjunction with the story.
... speechless.
Not funny. Unfortunate.
confused :cry:
To address an issue and ensure that the facts are straight:
This country is on its knees and wont be able to stanbd for a long time to come..

...absolutely right, but it would be properly on it's arse if it wasn't for immigration.


... without going into the NHS and teaching sector shortages which have been filled by migrant workers (often at the expense of their native countries).
As far as Asylum costs go - £1billion for the duration of the Iraq war, steep, I grant you. But a total detention policy (if that was your bag) would cost twice as much....and it all pales into insignificance when compared to the £7billion (so far) in admitted expenses on the Iraq shambles.
Offset the above though with the following, all important fact:
immigrants contribute more to the state than they receive in benefits
Kicking them all out would actually cost us in manpower, skills and huge chunks of cash....the damn freeloaders...
The issue is a huge one, and a parody/satire which misses the point entirely and displays clear lack of understanding and biggotry (and I stress that I refer to the text, not you Lissa kiss ) is not funny...it's more of a lame donkey.
I find the tone of the original comments deeply offensive. My grandparents fled there homes in Germany in the 1930s to escape the Nazi persecution and subsequent death camps. I am horrified that if it happened today there is a line of people ready to send them back. I was born and bred in this country as were my parents and it would seem qualify for the support of the rest of the country my grandparents weren't so should sod off! Is this really what we think?
Almost no one in Britain can trace their family tree back any distance without coming across immigrants. Should these people sent home?
We, of course, are all entitled to our opinions, however, we must accept and expect people who disagree to say so.
The welfare system in this country is far from perfect but I would rather have it than some neo-nazi regime that seems to be advocated by so many people.
BRAVO - Love the tale.
I accept that we, at some point, would have originated elsewhere and that we are all to a degree imigrants however, what is important to remember is that we, as a country, should preserve and build on what we have and not let these bloody social worker type of people make crap decissions.
A fine example of this was last week, in the Northwest of England there were reports on the BBC about a family who had originated from Asia are due to be deported after seeking asylum in the UK for the past 4 years. In that time they have learned the English lanuage, the both work and do charity work, they have converted to chistianity and have a great circle of friends. Why oh why should they be depoorted???
They have done far more than many people who enter our country and who are natives. If all asylum seekers made such an effort (which should be compulsay) then our green and pleasant land would be a much happier one and the dole dossers might think twice and actually get off their arses and contribute to society.