REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get toBritain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival the tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.
He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug illness.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost GBP10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a
shortfall in government funds.
THE END
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The Grasshoppers Tale
Sex God
But you missed out the cats bringing in infections which had just about been wiped out in this Country, but that fact not being reported by the BBC.
Good job its just a work of fiction eh??
John & Shel
Good job its just a work of fiction eh??
John & Shel
Mod
I like you!! 
I like you a lot!!! :lol: :lol:
Mal
I like you a lot!!! :lol: :lol:
Mal
As a spokesperson for the League against the persecution of Squirrels in the UK. I must applaude your bringing this case to the notice of the general public and highlighting the social injustice against squirrels apparently encouraged by the Government, within the Unitied Kingdom.
My organisation proposes the eviction of all Grey squirrels back to the USA, their homeland, thus allowing them to become the problem of the United States, whilst allowing our own red squirrels room to multiply and expand thus regaining their rightful place in society inthe United Kingdom.
Snowhawk
My organisation proposes the eviction of all Grey squirrels back to the USA, their homeland, thus allowing them to become the problem of the United States, whilst allowing our own red squirrels room to multiply and expand thus regaining their rightful place in society inthe United Kingdom.
Snowhawk
Quote by keeno
Compassion is a wonderful thing and so rare these days.
I have compassion for the elderly born and bred in this country who will have to decide between warmth and food this winter.
I have no compassion for a bunch of free-loaders who come here looking for an easy life with their hands held out.
I have no compassion for those who come here because we are a tolerant society, who then have no tolerance themsleves for our way of life.
Quote by Lissa
I personally find this really offensive.
So did you stop reading it at the very first thing that offended you, or did you carry on to the end so you could be really offended?
Just because someone writes something we may find offensive... does that mean we should not read all of it? How then could anyone express a defferent opinion if they are ignorant of the full detail?
Quote by PoloLady
I personally find this really offensive.
So did you stop reading it at the very first thing that offended you, or did you carry on to the end so you could be really offended?
How then could anyone express a defferent opinion if they are ignorant of the full detail?
Well, that doesn't seem to stop a lot of the opinions on here! :twisted:
Quote by Lissa
I have compassion for the elderly born and bred in this country who will have to decide between warmth and food this winter.
I have no compassion for a bunch of free-loaders who come here looking for an easy life with their hands held out.
I have no compassion for those who come here because we are a tolerant society, who then have no tolerance themselves for our way of life.
Do you have compassion for those who come to work here as Doctors and Pharmacists who care for the health and wellbeing of the elderly born and bred here... without which our health service would be in greater shite than it is already.
Do you have compassion for those who came here and work as cleaners, porters, catering staff... because many of our own born and bred will not get off their own arses and work for a living?
Quote by PoloLady
I have compassion for the elderly born and bred in this country who will have to decide between warmth and food this winter.
I have no compassion for a bunch of free-loaders who come here looking for an easy life with their hands held out.
I have no compassion for those who come here because we are a tolerant society, who then have no tolerance themselves for our way of life.
Do you have compassion for those who come to work here as Doctors and Pharmacists who care for the health and wellbeing of the elderly born and bred here... without which our health service would be in greater shite than it is already.
Do you have compassion for those who came here and work as cleaners, porters, catering staff... because many of our own born and bred will not get off their own arses and work for a living?
I don't believe I said anything against people prepared to work for a living.............only those looking for a free ride!
Quote by Lissa
I have compassion for the elderly born and bred in this country who will have to decide between warmth and food this winter.
I have no compassion for a bunch of free-loaders who come here looking for an easy life with their hands held out.
I have no compassion for those who come here because we are a tolerant society, who then have no tolerance themselves for our way of life.
Do you have compassion for those who come to work here as Doctors and Pharmacists who care for the health and wellbeing of the elderly born and bred here... without which our health service would be in greater shite than it is already.
Do you have compassion for those who came here and work as cleaners, porters, catering staff... because many of our own born and bred will not get off their own arses and work for a living?
I don't believe I said anything against people prepared to work for a living.............only those looking for a free ride!
No, you just collectively referred to squirrels and grasshoppers - leaving people do make their own assumptions. It was the 'born and bred' comment which will impact the most on how the story is now perceived.
Quote by PoloLady
I have compassion for the elderly born and bred in this country who will have to decide between warmth and food this winter.
I have no compassion for a bunch of free-loaders who come here looking for an easy life with their hands held out.
I have no compassion for those who come here because we are a tolerant society, who then have no tolerance themselves for our way of life.
Do you have compassion for those who come to work here as Doctors and Pharmacists who care for the health and wellbeing of the elderly born and bred here... without which our health service would be in greater shite than it is already.
Do you have compassion for those who came here and work as cleaners, porters, catering staff... because many of our own born and bred will not get off their own arses and work for a living?
I don't believe I said anything against people prepared to work for a living.............only those looking for a free ride!
No, you just collectively referred to squirrels and grasshoppers - leaving people do make their own assumptions. It was the 'born and bred' comment which will impact the most on how the story is now perceived.
Well excuse me if I happen to feel that people who have lived and worked here all their lives, paying tax and National Insurance and contributing to the economy, are more deserving of our compassion that some free-loader who hasn't been here five minutes and is only here for what they can screw out of the system.
Quote by Lissa
Well excuse me if I happen to feel that people who have lived and worked here all their lives, paying tax and National Insurance and contributing to the economy, are more deserving of our compassion that some free-loader who hasn't been here five minutes and is only here for what they can screw out of the system.
So it is all so black and white... is it?
Quote by PoloLady
Well excuse me if I happen to feel that people who have lived and worked here all their lives, paying tax and National Insurance and contributing to the economy, are more deserving of our compassion that some free-loader who hasn't been here five minutes and is only here for what they can screw out of the system.
So it is all so black and white... is it?
Isn't it?
Do you really think this country can continue to be the sponge of Europe, soaking up anyone who wants to come here?
Quote by Lissa
Well excuse me if I happen to feel that people who have lived and worked here all their lives, paying tax and National Insurance and contributing to the economy, are more deserving of our compassion that some free-loader who hasn't been here five minutes and is only here for what they can screw out of the system.
So it is all so black and white... is it?
Isn't it?
Do you really think this country can continue to be the sponge of Europe, soaking up anyone who wants to come here?
You're right...
let's send back all of the professionals, the skilled and non-skilled workers (which companies and the health service have been actively recruiting) back and to hell with the effect that would have on the economy and society. Why the hell should these fuckers bring their families here with them.
Ooops - you didn't mean those though did you?
Fuck it! Let's clump all the asylum seekers into the same stereotype and bash them instead. If they can't get a job they should be sent back to watch their other children be and tortured. Just because they have suffered more than we could ever imagine, why the fuck should we get involved... they only suffered so they could have a sob story to move here and sponge.
Actually, now I come to think of it… it’s not so black and white after all.
Quote by PoloLady
Well excuse me if I happen to feel that people who have lived and worked here all their lives, paying tax and National Insurance and contributing to the economy, are more deserving of our compassion that some free-loader who hasn't been here five minutes and is only here for what they can screw out of the system.
So it is all so black and white... is it?
Isn't it?
Do you really think this country can continue to be the sponge of Europe, soaking up anyone who wants to come here?
You're right...
let's send back all of the professionals, the skilled and non-skilled workers (which companies and the health service have been actively recruiting) back and to hell with the effect that would have on the economy and society. Why the hell should these fuckers bring their families here with them.
Ooops - you didn't mean those though did you?
Fuck it! Let's clump all the asylum seekers into the same stereotype and bash them instead. If they can't get a job they should be sent back to watch their other children be and tortured. Just because they have suffered more than we could ever imagine, why the fuck should we get involved... they only suffered so they could have a sob story to move here and sponge.
Actually, now I come to think of it… it’s not so black and white after all.
This is actual data from the Home Office, I will quite happily send you the link.
Persons in detention currently seeking asylum.
Female..................180, 10 of them minors
Male......................1,645, 5 of them minors.
Lots of family's running from persecution there then!
Quote by Lissa
This is actual data from the Home Office, I will quite happily send you the link.
Persons in detention currently seeking asylum.
Female..................180, 10 of them minors
Male......................1,645, 5 of them minors.
Lots of family's running from persecution there then!
No, no, you have done an excellent job there. You have shown it is actually less than 2000 people (of which all will not get asylum status)... that is really going to break the economy
Don't get me wrong - I have no intention of supporting an open door policy - far from it.
But that does not mean I support bigoted stereotyping which incites hate amongst the ignorant.
seems too many ppl have had a sudden and irreverslble sense of humour by-pass
read this and do try and read it lightly - as an irreverent take on the pc culture that pervaids us rather than an attack on the social and asylum policies in affect today
after all we do visit this site to just occasionaly have a bloody good laff - and not just to bitch about the rest of the world / our circumstances / our families / our jobs / our home life etc - LIGHTEN UP!
if u aint amused by the story move on and find summat that does amuse you
read this and do try and read it lightly - as an irreverent take on the pc culture that pervaids us rather than an attack on the social and asylum policies in affect today
after all we do visit this site to just occasionaly have a bloody good laff - and not just to bitch about the rest of the world / our circumstances / our families / our jobs / our home life etc - LIGHTEN UP!
if u aint amused by the story move on and find summat that does amuse you
Quote by Laff_n_Chilli
if u aint amused by the story move on and find summat that does amuse you
Should we all tell offensive jokes and tell those who are offended to fuck-off and read something else?
I couldn’t give a shit about the story as it stands on it’s own – it is pretty pointless. But that in conjunction with later comments is something I feel that shouldn’t be passed off as a jokey-jest and is worth expressing opinion on.
So if you have quite finished expressing where I should or shouldn't comment, you can read the initial post and chuckle your pants off at will - you don't have to read this bit.... and if you ain't interested in the debate - butt-out!
Quote by PoloLady
This is actual data from the Home Office, I will quite happily send you the link.
Persons in detention currently seeking asylum.
Female..................180, 10 of them minors
Male......................1,645, 5 of them minors.
Lots of family's running from persecution there then!
Don't get me wrong - I have no intention of supporting an open door policy - far from it.
Crikey, hold the front page.....................we actually agree on something
:D :D Quote by Lissa
This is actual data from the Home Office, I will quite happily send you the link.
Persons in detention currently seeking asylum.
Female..................180, 10 of them minors
Male......................1,645, 5 of them minors.
Lots of family's running from persecution there then!
Don't get me wrong - I have no intention of supporting an open door policy - far from it.
Crikey, hold the front page.....................we actually agree on something
:D :DIt is unfortunately possible that eventually there is something to agree on with most people
And I am sure there is more we could agree on
–... it’s just some of your comments here that don’t sit well with me... though may do with clarification. Quote by PoloLady
if u aint amused by the story move on and find summat that does amuse you
Should we all tell offensive jokes and tell those who are offended to fuck-off and read something else?
I couldn’t give a shit about the story as it stands on it’s own – it is pretty pointless. But that in conjunction with later comments is something I feel that shouldn’t be passed off as a jokey-jest and is worth expressing opinion on.
So if you have quite finished expressing where I should or shouldn't comment, you can read the initial post and chuckle your pants off at will - you don't have to read this bit.... and if you ain't interested in the debate - butt-out!
sense of humour by-pass?
oke: Quote by Lissa
THE NATURAL LIFECYCLE:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END
THE BIGOTS VIEW OF BRITAIN:
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.
The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.
The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".
Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.
The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.
The squirrels food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get toBritain as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival the tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempt bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.
A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house.
He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers drug illness.
The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost GBP10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.
The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a
shortfall in government funds.
THE END
You posted, I'm entitled to voice my view on things .... I've changed the title to represent my view ... and if I manage to come up wth an analogy in which the destruction of war and how the moral consequences can easily be distorted I'll post it.
Tolerance ... a small word that small minded people forget.
Understanding ... something the human race demands but never gives.
Charity ... see both the above.
Cx
