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The SH I.Q. Test
Sex God
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
Giggnod -dogging
feac - face
docnom – condom
tempelutes- no idea, but must be to do with sex! Lol
feac – only none pervy thing on there!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pair words:
Pair the words from list A with the words from list B.
List A
Bed
Flavoured
Gang
Massage
Genital
French
Shaved
Bondage
Photo
Fury
Hard
List B
Balls
Tape
Cup
Cock
Covers
Ads
Warts
Knickers
Bang
Oil
Condom
bed covers
falvoured condom
gang bang
massage oil
genital warts
french knickers
shaved balls
bondage tape
photo ads
fury cup
hard cock
---------------------------------------------------------------------
How long:
Tom can shag for 3 minutes the first time he gets his end away. He lasts twice as long the second time and 50% longer than the second time on the third occasion of dipping his wick. Three times is all Tom can manage. Brenda invites Tom around for a romp - what is the total amount of time Brenda will be shagged?
Eighteen mins (with tom) (though it does not state that tom was the only man she invited round!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Stimulation
Penetration
Arousal
Excitation
penetration
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Groups:
Arrange these words into groups of three.
Nipple, rubber, condom, lube, lace, nape, jacuzzi, bed, pvc, thigh, dildo, mirrors.
Nipple nape thigh, rubber lace pvc. Condom lube dildo, Jacuzzi bed mirrors
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are they?:
What do these things have in common?
MuffBrush
Mighty Throbber
Venus
Slim-Jim
Sex toys!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny‘s Jonnys:
John bulk buys some condoms. One bag contains 3 boxes of 12 Mates Easy-On Natural. The other bag contains one third vanilla flavour, one third banana flavour, one sixth ribbed-ticklers, one twelfth featherlite and 3 extra safe.
Helen does not like banana flavoured condoms or ribbed-ticklers.
How many condoms does John have which Helen will like?
one third, plus one third, plus one sixth ,plus one twelth plus 3 = 1
therford 3 must equal one twelth
one third then = 12
and one sixth = 6
12 banana and 6 rib ticklers = 18
total condoms are 2 lots of 36 = 72
72 - 18 = 54
anser is 54 condoms she likes (should last a couple of hours at least!!!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Exhilaration
Elevation
Elimination
Elation
elimination
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watch the Clock:
Janet has a formula for perfect sex. She believes the length of time engaged in actual penetration related to the time spent on foreplay. Oral should take twice as long as fingering and fingering should be one quarter the total time of all action. If penetration lasts for 8 minutes and 20 seconds, How long should Janet have had her pussy licked for?
total time includes sex, fingering and oral
fingering is one quater, therfor oral must be half of the time.
this means that sex takes up the other quater of the time.
if sex is 8 mins 20 secs, then oral must be the same
8 mins 20 seconds
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
Refign – finger
Gotune- tongue
Pekirp- kipper
Nabaan - banana
Oldid – dildo
I would go with pekirp (as it’s the only thing I would not allow up my muff!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time Management:
Kevin is meeting Roger and Pauline in one hour at a hotel 20 minutes down the road. He normally takes 12 minutes to shower, but today he takes 50% longer so he can shave his balls. 10% of his hour is spent getting the iron and ironing board out - it then takes twice that time to iron his shirt. He then spend 14 minutes styling his hair. He then spends 2 minutes trimming his nasal hair and then twice as long trimming his toenails. A final 5 minutes to clean his shoes and Kevin hit’s the road. How late will Kevin be for his hotel 3some?
shower 12 mins (plus 50%) = 18
10% of hour = 6 mins to get iron out
2 times 6 mins to iron shirt = 12 mins
hair = 14 mins
nasal hair -eugh - 2 mins
4 mins toenails - am going to puke soon!
5 mins shoes
20 mins traveling
total = 81 mins
had one hour so....
21 mins late
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which Dogger did Donald?
Arthur, Bill and Charlie are being questioned by their friends in the pub. The three men went out dogging and their mates have found out that one of the guys fucked Donald the Dogger up the arse. Donald was not sure which of the guys actually fucked him, other than the man had a fat bent penis.
Arthur:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Bill:
I do have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Charlie:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
A man with a fat bent penis fucked Donald.
In the toilets the guys in the pub discover only two of the statements are true - only one of the three suspects did not have a fat bent penis.
Who fucked Donald?
Charlie has to be telling the truth as he truthfully stated (as did Donald) that it was a man with a fat penis!
This means Charlie does not have a fat bent penis.
Therefore both of the other men DO have fat bent penises
Bill admits he does have a fat bent penis, so is also telling the truth about not fucking Donald.
Means that auther is the liar about not having a fat bent penis..
Auther must also be telling a lie about fucking Donald
Author – bloody pervert! lol
Which is the odd one out?
Giggnod -dogging
feac - face
docnom – condom
tempelutes- no idea, but must be to do with sex! Lol
feac – only none pervy thing on there!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pair words:
Pair the words from list A with the words from list B.
List A
Bed
Flavoured
Gang
Massage
Genital
French
Shaved
Bondage
Photo
Fury
Hard
List B
Balls
Tape
Cup
Cock
Covers
Ads
Warts
Knickers
Bang
Oil
Condom
bed covers
falvoured condom
gang bang
massage oil
genital warts
french knickers
shaved balls
bondage tape
photo ads
fury cup
hard cock
---------------------------------------------------------------------
How long:
Tom can shag for 3 minutes the first time he gets his end away. He lasts twice as long the second time and 50% longer than the second time on the third occasion of dipping his wick. Three times is all Tom can manage. Brenda invites Tom around for a romp - what is the total amount of time Brenda will be shagged?
Eighteen mins (with tom) (though it does not state that tom was the only man she invited round!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Stimulation
Penetration
Arousal
Excitation
penetration
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Groups:
Arrange these words into groups of three.
Nipple, rubber, condom, lube, lace, nape, jacuzzi, bed, pvc, thigh, dildo, mirrors.
Nipple nape thigh, rubber lace pvc. Condom lube dildo, Jacuzzi bed mirrors
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are they?:
What do these things have in common?
MuffBrush
Mighty Throbber
Venus
Slim-Jim
Sex toys!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny‘s Jonnys:
John bulk buys some condoms. One bag contains 3 boxes of 12 Mates Easy-On Natural. The other bag contains one third vanilla flavour, one third banana flavour, one sixth ribbed-ticklers, one twelfth featherlite and 3 extra safe.
Helen does not like banana flavoured condoms or ribbed-ticklers.
How many condoms does John have which Helen will like?
one third, plus one third, plus one sixth ,plus one twelth plus 3 = 1
therford 3 must equal one twelth
one third then = 12
and one sixth = 6
12 banana and 6 rib ticklers = 18
total condoms are 2 lots of 36 = 72
72 - 18 = 54
anser is 54 condoms she likes (should last a couple of hours at least!!!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Exhilaration
Elevation
Elimination
Elation
elimination
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watch the Clock:
Janet has a formula for perfect sex. She believes the length of time engaged in actual penetration related to the time spent on foreplay. Oral should take twice as long as fingering and fingering should be one quarter the total time of all action. If penetration lasts for 8 minutes and 20 seconds, How long should Janet have had her pussy licked for?
total time includes sex, fingering and oral
fingering is one quater, therfor oral must be half of the time.
this means that sex takes up the other quater of the time.
if sex is 8 mins 20 secs, then oral must be the same
8 mins 20 seconds
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
Refign – finger
Gotune- tongue
Pekirp- kipper
Nabaan - banana
Oldid – dildo
I would go with pekirp (as it’s the only thing I would not allow up my muff!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time Management:
Kevin is meeting Roger and Pauline in one hour at a hotel 20 minutes down the road. He normally takes 12 minutes to shower, but today he takes 50% longer so he can shave his balls. 10% of his hour is spent getting the iron and ironing board out - it then takes twice that time to iron his shirt. He then spend 14 minutes styling his hair. He then spends 2 minutes trimming his nasal hair and then twice as long trimming his toenails. A final 5 minutes to clean his shoes and Kevin hit’s the road. How late will Kevin be for his hotel 3some?
shower 12 mins (plus 50%) = 18
10% of hour = 6 mins to get iron out
2 times 6 mins to iron shirt = 12 mins
hair = 14 mins
nasal hair -eugh - 2 mins
4 mins toenails - am going to puke soon!
5 mins shoes
20 mins traveling
total = 81 mins
had one hour so....
21 mins late
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which Dogger did Donald?
Arthur, Bill and Charlie are being questioned by their friends in the pub. The three men went out dogging and their mates have found out that one of the guys fucked Donald the Dogger up the arse. Donald was not sure which of the guys actually fucked him, other than the man had a fat bent penis.
Arthur:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Bill:
I do have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Charlie:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
A man with a fat bent penis fucked Donald.
In the toilets the guys in the pub discover only two of the statements are true - only one of the three suspects did not have a fat bent penis.
Who fucked Donald?
Charlie has to be telling the truth as he truthfully stated (as did Donald) that it was a man with a fat penis!
This means Charlie does not have a fat bent penis.
Therefore both of the other men DO have fat bent penises
Bill admits he does have a fat bent penis, so is also telling the truth about not fucking Donald.
Means that auther is the liar about not having a fat bent penis..
Auther must also be telling a lie about fucking Donald
Author – bloody pervert! lol
Quote by well_busty_babe
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
Giggnod - dogging
feac - face cafe
docnom – condom
tempelutes- no idea, but must be to do with sex! Lol 'lets meet up'
condom is the odd one out
feac – only none pervy thing on there!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pair words:
Pair the words from list A with the words from list B.
List A
Bed
Flavoured
Gang
Massage
Genital
French
Shaved
Bondage
Photo
Fury
Hard
List B
Balls
Tape
Cup
Cock
Covers
Ads
Warts
Knickers
Bang
Oil
Condom
bed covers
falvoured condom
gang bang
massage oil
genital warts
french knickers
shaved balls
bondage tape
photo ads
fury cup
hard cock
correct
---------------------------------------------------------------------
How long:
Tom can shag for 3 minutes the first time he gets his end away. He lasts twice as long the second time and 50% longer than the second time on the third occasion of dipping his wick. Three times is all Tom can manage. Brenda invites Tom around for a romp - what is the total amount of time Brenda will be shagged?
Eighteen mins (with tom) (though it does not state that tom was the only man she invited round!)
correct
:D ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Stimulation
Penetration
Arousal
Excitation
penetration
correct :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Groups:
Arrange these words into groups of three.
Nipple, rubber, condom, lube, lace, nape, jacuzzi, bed, pvc, thigh, dildo, mirrors.
Nipple nape thigh, rubber lace pvc. Condom lube dildo, Jacuzzi bed mirrors
correct :D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are they?:
What do these things have in common?
MuffBrush
Mighty Throbber
Venus
Slim-Jim
Sex toys!!!!!
correct :D
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny‘s Jonnys:
John bulk buys some condoms. One bag contains 3 boxes of 12 Mates Easy-On Natural. The other bag contains one third vanilla flavour, one third banana flavour, one sixth ribbed-ticklers, one twelfth featherlite and 3 extra safe.
Helen does not like banana flavoured condoms or ribbed-ticklers.
How many condoms does John have which Helen will like?
one third, plus one third, plus one sixth ,plus one twelth plus 3 = 1
therford 3 must equal one twelth
one third then = 12
and one sixth = 6
12 banana and 6 rib ticklers = 18
total condoms are 2 lots of 36 = 72
72 - 18 = 54
anser is 54 condoms she likes (should last a couple of hours at least!!!)
correct :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Does not belong:
Which word does not have a similar meaning to the others?
Exhilaration
Elevation
Elimination
Elation
elimination
correct :D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Watch the Clock:
Janet has a formula for perfect sex. She believes the length of time engaged in actual penetration related to the time spent on foreplay. Oral should take twice as long as fingering and fingering should be one quarter the total time of all action. If penetration lasts for 8 minutes and 20 seconds, How long should Janet have had her pussy licked for?
total time includes sex, fingering and oral
fingering is one quater, therfor oral must be half of the time.
this means that sex takes up the other quater of the time.
if sex is 8 mins 20 secs, then oral must be the same (twice the time)
8 mins 20 seconds
16 min 40 sec
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Odd one out:
Which is the odd one out?
Refign – finger
Gotune- tongue
Pekirp- kipper
Nabaan - banana
Oldid – dildo
I would go with pekirp (as it’s the only thing I would not allow up my muff!)
correct - well that was my thinking anyway about not putting a kipper up the muffty
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time Management:
Kevin is meeting Roger and Pauline in one hour at a hotel 20 minutes down the road. He normally takes 12 minutes to shower, but today he takes 50% longer so he can shave his balls. 10% of his hour is spent getting the iron and ironing board out - it then takes twice that time to iron his shirt. He then spend 14 minutes styling his hair. He then spends 2 minutes trimming his nasal hair and then twice as long trimming his toenails. A final 5 minutes to clean his shoes and Kevin hit’s the road. How late will Kevin be for his hotel 3some?
shower 12 mins (plus 50%) = 18
10% of hour = 6 mins to get iron out
2 times 6 mins to iron shirt = 12 mins
hair = 14 mins
nasal hair -eugh - 2 mins
4 mins toenails - am going to puke soon!
5 mins shoes
20 mins traveling
total = 81 mins
had one hour so....
21 mins late
Too bloody late - they left! :lol:
sorry - correct :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which Dogger did Donald?
Arthur, Bill and Charlie are being questioned by their friends in the pub. The three men went out dogging and their mates have found out that one of the guys fucked Donald the Dogger up the arse. Donald was not sure which of the guys actually fucked him, other than the man had a fat bent penis.
Arthur:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Bill:
I do have a fat bent penis.
I did not fuck Donald up the arse.
Charlie:
I do not have a fat bent penis.
A man with a fat bent penis fucked Donald.
In the toilets the guys in the pub discover only two of the statements are true - only one of the three suspects did not have a fat bent penis.
Who fucked Donald?
Charlie has to be telling the truth as he truthfully stated (as did Donald) that it was a man with a fat penis!
This means Charlie does not have a fat bent penis.
Therefore both of the other men DO have fat bent penises
Bill admits he does have a fat bent penis, so is also telling the truth about not fucking Donald.
Means that auther is the liar about not having a fat bent penis..
Auther must also be telling a lie about fucking Donald
Author – bloody pervert! lol
:D correct :D
Don't tell Bloke which pub Auther and Donald are in :wink:
