Things not to say during sex….
Do you want to put it in - oh you have!
Your mother said you would do it like this.
Do you mind if I read for a bit?
I wish I had gone for a shit first!
Yes I shaved it to get rid of the crabs.
Oh so that is where that condom went!
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things not to say....
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Sex God
To your darling wife susie
"oh Sharon you are so good jn bed"
staggy
xx
"oh Sharon you are so good jn bed"
staggy
xx
Warming the Bed
how about.....
Your sisters boobs feel firmer
Your sisters boobs feel firmer
Sex God
Hey, your bum looks big on this.
Does it feel alright - tell me if it doesn't - I can move over a bit if you are uncomfortable - is your head alright there - do you need a pillow - is that OK for you - if it is not we can try something else - are you sure this is OK - honestly I can move over a bit if you want - I have loads of room this side - it's not to fast for you is it - if it is tell me - would you like me to try something different - are you sure you don't want another pillow - it's not too cold for you is it - I can turn the heating up - would you like the music turning down - just let me know if you want me to - do you think I should close the window - are you sure this is OK - you look a little stressed - you don't seem relaxed - what are you doing with that tape - oh I see - where is that going - mmrrmm mrrrmm mmmuuuumm mmrrmmm
Quote by PoloLady
Does it feel alright - tell me if it doesn't - I can move over a bit if you are uncomfortable - is your head alright there - do you need a pillow - is that OK for you - if it is not we can try something else - are you sure this is OK - honestly I can move over a bit if you want - I have loads of room this side - it's not to fast for you is it - if it is tell me - would you like me to try something different - are you sure you don't want another pillow - it's not too cold for you is it - I can turn the heating up - would you like the music turning down - just let me know if you want me to - do you think I should close the window - are you sure this is OK - you look a little stressed - you don't seem relaxed - what are you doing with that tape - oh I see - where is that going - mmrrmm mrrrmm mmmuuuumm mmrrmmm
Guilty
ops: Quote by BigScotsBloke
...are farts supposed to be lumpy......................
eeeewwwwwww lol
Davie
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:Quote by PoloLady
I don't mind fat birds, I am usually done long before you get all sweaty.
:rotflmao::rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Sex God
Whilst fingering
"You havent lost any change recently have you?"
"You havent lost any change recently have you?"
Warming the Bed
(phone rings)
Hi.
No, i'm not doing anything imortant.
Round in ten minutes. Great. See you then.
(hangs phone up)
Now, where were we?
----------------------------
Once, we were hard at it when the phone went and it was the school about one of our kids. I forgot to hang the phone up properly after, and i didn't realise for over an hour while we were being vocal and quite literally screaming the place down.
Hi.
No, i'm not doing anything imortant.
Round in ten minutes. Great. See you then.
(hangs phone up)
Now, where were we?
----------------------------
Once, we were hard at it when the phone went and it was the school about one of our kids. I forgot to hang the phone up properly after, and i didn't realise for over an hour while we were being vocal and quite literally screaming the place down.
