1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck
is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where
the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search
the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse
to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake
and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you
can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look".
Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking
after you've found it? Do people do this?
Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see
that... ?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the
cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".
Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?
If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.
If it's an improvement, then there must have been
something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck??
Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!!
What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks,
"Has the bus come yet?".
If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they
used to be'. So what did they used to be... ?
Ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks
'Is that nice?' No it's revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet.
Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand
you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are
ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a
Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a
McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking
McTosser.
14. When you're involved in an accident and someone
asks 'are you all right?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick
up my limbs and be off.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
things that people hate
, you both look good on it though, "phewwwwww, "that was close" 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Wow ... but 11 needs elaboration - Whats worse is if someone is eating something disgusting ...they call to other people and say "Hey try the shark its absolutely disgusting" and a procession of people come along and take a small bite and say "You are right - it is disgusting"
lol,
Tang
lol,
Tang
Right!!................. Here we go
Middle Lane Hoggers
People that sit in the right hand lane at traffic lights then as the lights turn green they put their right indicator on :x :x
Cyclists that ride through red lights :x :x :x
Mums that use their babies pram as a method of stopping the traffic when they are waiting to cross the road. :x :x :x :x
Volvo drivers :x :x :x :x :x
Women that use 4x4's to take the kids to school :x :x :x :x :x :x
People on the motorway that drive right up to the cones before thinking of moving into the inside lane when two lanes become one :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
People who stay in the left hand lane when they are going right at a roundabout :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Cyclists and Pedestrians when I'm driving, Drivers and cyclists when I'm walking, Drivers and Pedestrians when I'm cycling. Bus drivers and Taxi drivers ALWAYS!!!! :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Middle Lane Hoggers
People that sit in the right hand lane at traffic lights then as the lights turn green they put their right indicator on :x :x
Cyclists that ride through red lights :x :x :x
Mums that use their babies pram as a method of stopping the traffic when they are waiting to cross the road. :x :x :x :x
Volvo drivers :x :x :x :x :x
Women that use 4x4's to take the kids to school :x :x :x :x :x :x
People on the motorway that drive right up to the cones before thinking of moving into the inside lane when two lanes become one :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
People who stay in the left hand lane when they are going right at a roundabout :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Cyclists and Pedestrians when I'm driving, Drivers and cyclists when I'm walking, Drivers and Pedestrians when I'm cycling. Bus drivers and Taxi drivers ALWAYS!!!! :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
People that sit next to you watching telly and say Why's he doing that?
Look you're watching the same programme as me!!
Kids that wear shell suit trousers and baseball caps.
Burberry baseball caps.
Hoop earings on men, What are you a bloody pirate?
Hello and OK magazine.
BMW X5's and Merc 4x4's. What on earth is the point, especially if you live in Peckham. What are you gonna do, go to your country estate at the week-end.
Look you're watching the same programme as me!!
Kids that wear shell suit trousers and baseball caps.
Burberry baseball caps.
Hoop earings on men, What are you a bloody pirate?
Hello and OK magazine.
BMW X5's and Merc 4x4's. What on earth is the point, especially if you live in Peckham. What are you gonna do, go to your country estate at the week-end.
Someone take the angry pills away from Sgt Bilko!!!!
There, there Sgt baby, come with me hun, I have a nice dark room for you to lay down in.
(Sapho, the straight jacket please darling! Who's got the pink fluffy handcuffs?)
Alex sweetheart, you can come out of the corner now we need the room for Sgt Bilko. Be a love and help Sappho with the straight jacket.
Now Sgt, that must feel better. Anything else we girls can do to help?
Love
Wilma
x x x x
There, there Sgt baby, come with me hun, I have a nice dark room for you to lay down in.
(Sapho, the straight jacket please darling! Who's got the pink fluffy handcuffs?)
Alex sweetheart, you can come out of the corner now we need the room for Sgt Bilko. Be a love and help Sappho with the straight jacket.
Now Sgt, that must feel better. Anything else we girls can do to help?
Love
Wilma
x x x x
Sex God
Boy racers in car parks and impatient, drive-by doggers (just said it before Jomu did 
, but I really don't like them either). Other than that I'm such an easy-going chap :shock:
, but I really don't like them either). Other than that I'm such an easy-going chap :shock: 
Sexpert
Its got to be cold calling tele-sales and people in town with clip-boards doing serveys that is my pet hate - that and disrespectful people of course. 
Sexpert
I'm not a footy fan at all really, except maybe when its England playing (have to cheer them on cause they need all the help they can get).
I've been told at work (by the Leeds fans) that my wife supporting Man U is grounds for divorce though. LOL
I've been told at work (by the Leeds fans) that my wife supporting Man U is grounds for divorce though. LOL
Quote by WilmaFlintstone
Alex sweetheart, you can come out of the corner now we need the room for Sgt Bilko. Be a love and help Sappho with the straight jacket.
It’s dark in this corner!!! Wonder how long they’ll leave me here?? Its okay, I’m not scared. I’m a more than a dark corner to scare me 8) ……..What was that??...........Alex, is that you?????..........................Its not fair. Fred Flintstone spends many a happy hour in Sappho’s skirt and what do I get??? A dark corner, sat on a warm, damp patch that Alex left behind!!!!
There’s that noise again!!! What is that humming noise? Sappho, Wilma, Alex, Jags……. Blue?? Anybody there?.................Its okay, I don’t think I’m scared. It’s just a dark corner and a humming noise!!!!!
Perhaps Kat is mowing the lawn, or Blue is shaving her legs again????.
...........It’s getting louder getting nearer…….. I’m scared!!!..............Who’s there?.......Mandy? Fran?I can hear heavy breathing now!!!!…………..Mrs Bilko was right when she said spending so much time here would end in tears……. I just didn’t expect them to be mine!!!
I can feel the heavy breathing now and there’s a strange fishy aroma :shock: :shock: ……….I don’t like it, I want my mum!!!!!
Wilma !!!!!!!!!!!
