Firstly I apologise if this is in the wrong forum. I'm new!
I've been interested in swinging communities for a long time. Hooking up and having fun, no-strings-attached sex in a relaxed environment, with mutual consent is something that I really want to get into. It's especially great that these kinds of clubs are open to women without there being any pressure, and without being objectified. I can't wait to join in!
There's....just one teensy, tiny problem. Unlike most women, I was born with a penis. I'm a transsexual woman. Or transwoman, as is the term.
Not a tranny, shemale, he-she or whatever. I don't see myself like that. I'm just a transsexual woman, pre-op.
Because of that, I've found getting into the scene next to impossible. These clubs don't stress whether they are open to transwomen or not, but from the looks of things I won't be welcome.
Naturally, I've tried to look into the alternative. Trans-centric sex nights seem to revolve around cross dressers and transvestites, which don't appeal to me because CDs and TVs are men. I may have a penis, but I am a woman. So it's quite a big difference. I don't want to settle for men only clubs.
But what's worse is that these places are usually dirty. Take Stunners in London, for example. It's a horrifying place, it looks like a place where rats go to die. And the people there aren't even respectful. I've been twice, and both times I was harassed. Nobody seemed to care. I was nothing more than an object (particularly as I'm passable - one guy gave e a disgusted look after he asked if I was a real woman and I said 'yes'), and there was no respect at all.
Which is why I'd rather join a normal club.
I understand the reservations people may have about me - as I have a dick, some people might not want to play with me (and that I totally understand). But then, some people might - I'm young, and have big natural boobs. I'm certainly not a 'tranny', I'm just a woman with a penis.
So, I'm looking for advice. Does anyone know any clubs or groups, in London, that might be open to someone like me? Would I be welcome anywhere? Or should I have to settle for the filth and squalor of the transvestite sex clus?
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Thoughts of trans women? Trans-friendly groups?
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Sex God
Hi and welcome!
Not being from the south I can't suggest anywhere but there are quite a few transsexual women on this site, pre and post op so hopefully one of them might pop into the forum and be able to offer you some advice.
I have seen a few transsexual women in clubs. Whether they are pre or post op, I don't know. It's something that I wouldn't ask.
The problem that people might have in answering your question is that your profile and post isn't clear as to what it is that you would want from a club or the person/people you would want to meet there.
Some clubs have bi nights, CD/TV/TS nights, etc. it might be worth calling clubs local to you to find out what goes on and when? They are usually very approachable and friendly.
I hope you find what you're looking for and have lots of fun when you do.
Not being from the south I can't suggest anywhere but there are quite a few transsexual women on this site, pre and post op so hopefully one of them might pop into the forum and be able to offer you some advice.
I have seen a few transsexual women in clubs. Whether they are pre or post op, I don't know. It's something that I wouldn't ask.
The problem that people might have in answering your question is that your profile and post isn't clear as to what it is that you would want from a club or the person/people you would want to meet there.
Some clubs have bi nights, CD/TV/TS nights, etc. it might be worth calling clubs local to you to find out what goes on and when? They are usually very approachable and friendly.
I hope you find what you're looking for and have lots of fun when you do.
Hi, and :welcome: to the Site and the forum.
I can't comment on clubs etc, but it does sound like you're having a bit of a rough time of it. As Fun said above, there are other pre and post ops on the Site, although some are not overly active in the forums.
My suggestion to you would be not to focus too much on the club scene if it's not working out for you, but to spend some time getting to know people on here. There's lots of fun to be had (of all sorts :twisted: ) in the chat rooms, and I'm sure you could find a like-minded group of people to socialise with there.
Talking of socialising, if you want a more face-to-face experience then get your name down for some of the events in the Let's Meet Up forum. I can say from personal experience that it's a great way to get to know people, and to get known. :thumbup:
Have fun!
I can't comment on clubs etc, but it does sound like you're having a bit of a rough time of it. As Fun said above, there are other pre and post ops on the Site, although some are not overly active in the forums.
My suggestion to you would be not to focus too much on the club scene if it's not working out for you, but to spend some time getting to know people on here. There's lots of fun to be had (of all sorts :twisted: ) in the chat rooms, and I'm sure you could find a like-minded group of people to socialise with there.
Talking of socialising, if you want a more face-to-face experience then get your name down for some of the events in the Let's Meet Up forum. I can say from personal experience that it's a great way to get to know people, and to get known. :thumbup:
Have fun!
Quote by Funlovers2009
Hi and welcome!
Not being from the south I can't suggest anywhere but there are quite a few transsexual women on this site, pre and post op so hopefully one of them might pop into the forum and be able to offer you some advice.
I have seen a few transsexual women in clubs. Whether they are pre or post op, I don't know. It's something that I wouldn't ask.
The problem that people might have in answering your question is that your profile and post isn't clear as to what it is that you would want from a club or the person/people you would want to meet there.
Some clubs have bi nights, CD/TV/TS nights, etc. it might be worth calling clubs local to you to find out what goes on and when? They are usually very approachable and friendly.
I hope you find what you're looking for and have lots of fun when you do.
Hi,
Tank you for replying!
I think maybe I should put what I'd be looking for - I'm bi, but lean strongly towards men. I'd be looking for one-on-one, threesomes, gangbangs, orgies....bearing in mind I'm new to the scene, so maybe there are other things I'd want to try. A threesome with two men or a man and woman would be amazing.
I've had a look at the clubs list on here, there's some that I would be interested in but they don't allow anal sex. Other ones seem picky, and might turn me away based on my dick alone!
It's good to hear that you've seen some transwomen at these clubs, it certainly makes me feel like I might be allowed into some at least. I just want to find a nice one, with respectful people, that I can have a no strings attached fuck!
Talking of socialising, if you want a more face-to-face experience then get your name down for some of the events in the Let's Meet Up forum. I can say from personal experience that it's a great way to get to know people, and to get known.
Ill give that a try
Sex God
Hi and welcome to the forum. I'm afraid I've no idea about clubs, but I'm sure you'll be able to find other t.s's in the chatrooms who might be able to advise. I live in kemptown, and, as you might imagine transexuals are fairly visible in this community. It might be worth your while contacting the clare project for some advice (just google it), maybe even visit the town and drop in on them, and they have a dine out social evening on a regular basis. I've seen them in various venues, usually more than a dozen ts people just socializing together. Of course there are a number of ts folks who just get on with everyday life without feeling any need to join a group, and I do chat with some in my own local from time to time.
I believe that clubs are likely to be just places where guys will want to have sex with you, they're also likely to wish to be ultra discreet, and ask some of the girls if they are likely to show any respect or interest otherwise, don't take it personally.
I believe that clubs are likely to be just places where guys will want to have sex with you, they're also likely to wish to be ultra discreet, and ask some of the girls if they are likely to show any respect or interest otherwise, don't take it personally.
Sex God
Hi and :welcome: to the site and forum.
Hope you have fun.
x
Hope you have fun.
x
Casanova
Quote by Roseofdawn
I've been interested in swinging communities for a long time. Hooking up and having fun, no-strings-attached sex in a relaxed environment, with mutual consent is something that I really want to get into. It's especially great that these kinds of clubs are open to women without there being any pressure, and without being objectified.
:shock::evil2:
Hey, welcome!
A very interesting post, and I feel for you for not quite fitting anywhere. Truly, you are from the future, what you are looking for doesn't quite exist yet. If anything, I would suggest you try kink events, most people attending those are a lot more clued up about gender fluidity and are more accepting of non-binary presentation without fixating on it (though you'll certainly find people everywhere that will chase after you exactly for the way you are at the moment). Swinging is by definition quite hetero-normative (for example, I remember the first time I looked into it about a decade ago, men's bisexuality was seriously frowned upon and you can still see this attitude present now) and once you get stuck in you may find that in general the scene is not *quite* as liberated as you are dreaming of. Once you're post-op you could go into any club you like and nobody there will object, but whether this will be acceptable to you (that you are welcome after but not before) is another matter.
These clubs don't stress whether they are open to transwomen or not, but from the looks of things I won't be welcome.
Despite what I've said above - have you ever contacted a club you like to see what they think? I expect they will be welcoming (but as with general advice on newbie women visiting a club, better bring along someone you trust). Also do try the chat, it will be hit&miss for you but you only need to connect with a handful of people you like, to find your own way.
Also in practical terms - 1-on-1 with a guy and threesomes are quite easy to arrange privately. Run a couple of ads that target what you're looking for (men, gay couples, couples) and you'll get better response as people tend to browse the ads that look for their type, so the groups category gets mostly overlooked.
OK give it some time and before you know it you'll have some play friends you can rely on! Good luck.
Casanova
Quote by Roseofdawn
I've had a look at the clubs list on here, there's some that I would be interested in but they don't allow anal sex.
PS. I think these rules are there to protect women from undue pressure as not everybody likes or is used to anal penetration and (I've heard) men will try it on without permission. But once you're locked in a private room with a willing accomplice, who's to stop you from sticking it in any hole you fancy? ;)
Sex God
Pebble, I love you, and would like to have your babies. I can add nothing to your excellent post really. The advice is spot on, could have written it almost word for word. I don't have to now, my typing fingers thank you! +1 on this though:
Rose, I like to think we're pretty accepting on here. Certainly those on the trans spectrum with half a brain in their heads ( as per most of them, this shit takes some thinking about, doesn't it? ;) ) have been well received in the past, they were quite well respected. For a while. IRL it's gonna be a bit more difficult. As a bisexual man with very specific fantasies it's not easy finding what you're looking for. Possible though. Good luck!
Swinging is by definition quite hetero-normative (for example, I remember the first time I looked into it about a decade ago, men's bisexuality was seriously frowned upon and you can still see this attitude present now) and once you get stuck in you may find that in general the scene is not *quite* as liberated as you are dreaming of.
Rose, I like to think we're pretty accepting on here. Certainly those on the trans spectrum with half a brain in their heads ( as per most of them, this shit takes some thinking about, doesn't it? ;) ) have been well received in the past, they were quite well respected. For a while. IRL it's gonna be a bit more difficult. As a bisexual man with very specific fantasies it's not easy finding what you're looking for. Possible though. Good luck!
Warming the Bed
Rose, a friend of mine runs a monthly night in Romford called Bi Bi Baby. It's mainly pitched at bi men but, given the organiser's circle of friends, I think you'd be ok there if you really want to visit a club.
I think it is advertised elsewhere on this site. Otherwise just Google the name & the club's own site will come up.
I think it is advertised elsewhere on this site. Otherwise just Google the name & the club's own site will come up.
Sex God
Why not open your own group on this site and see what happens.?
Welcome Rose
I am a hostess of one club, private and not mainstream swinging, but we have absolutely no problem whatsoever with trans people.
Equally, again, not swinging but D/s, I am an organiser and administrator of a group that organises fetish parties and same applies.
The best advice, as already given, is to make contact with various club organisers and simply ask as to how welcome you will be. From experience I would think the answer would be very welcome. Attitudes have changed enormously in the last few years, helped along by sites such as this that actively promote acceptance of all.
some clubs require ID on first visit, normally not for Gender verification but simply as fundamental security but as a trans woman I presume that would pose no problem for you.
I am a hostess of one club, private and not mainstream swinging, but we have absolutely no problem whatsoever with trans people.
Equally, again, not swinging but D/s, I am an organiser and administrator of a group that organises fetish parties and same applies.
The best advice, as already given, is to make contact with various club organisers and simply ask as to how welcome you will be. From experience I would think the answer would be very welcome. Attitudes have changed enormously in the last few years, helped along by sites such as this that actively promote acceptance of all.
some clubs require ID on first visit, normally not for Gender verification but simply as fundamental security but as a trans woman I presume that would pose no problem for you.
Warming the Bed
if i wqas you id try our place for fun in north london
Sex God
Quote by Roseofdawn
Firstly I apologise if this is in the wrong forum. I'm new!
I've been interested in swinging communities for a long time. Hooking up and having fun, no-strings-attached sex in a relaxed environment, with mutual consent is something that I really want to get into. It's especially great that these kinds of clubs are open to women without there being any pressure, and without being objectified. I can't wait to join in!
There's....just one teensy, tiny problem. Unlike most women, I was born with a penis. I'm a transsexual woman. Or transwoman, as is the term.
Not a tranny, shemale, he-she or whatever. I don't see myself like that. I'm just a transsexual woman, pre-op.
Because of that, I've found getting into the scene next to impossible. These clubs don't stress whether they are open to transwomen or not, but from the looks of things I won't be welcome.
Naturally, I've tried to look into the alternative. Trans-centric sex nights seem to revolve around cross dressers and transvestites, which don't appeal to me because CDs and TVs are men. I may have a penis, but I am a woman. So it's quite a big difference. I don't want to settle for men only clubs.
But what's worse is that these places are usually dirty. Take Stunners in London, for example. It's a horrifying place, it looks like a place where rats go to die. And the people there aren't even respectful. I've been twice, and both times I was harassed. Nobody seemed to care. I was nothing more than an object (particularly as I'm passable - one guy gave e a disgusted look after he asked if I was a real woman and I said 'yes'), and there was no respect at all.
Which is why I'd rather join a normal club.
I understand the reservations people may have about me - as I have a dick, some people might not want to play with me (and that I totally understand). But then, some people might - I'm young, and have big natural boobs. I'm certainly not a 'tranny', I'm just a woman with a penis.
So, I'm looking for advice. Does anyone know any clubs or groups, in London, that might be open to someone like me? Would I be welcome anywhere? Or should I have to settle for the filth and squalor of the transvestite sex clus?
any of the london fetish clubs which are normaly clean and all are respectfull , like club rub,subversion or tg
a full list to be found here
hth
liza n rob
