Thoughts on first munches

17 Nov 2005

Hey everyone
As I think I may have mentioned once or twice, I've just been to my first SH social and had a really great time.
:bounce: :smile2: :happy:
However, I have to admit that I was so nervous I very nearly decided not to go, which would have been a pity. So I've been thinking.... if I was that scared, then there are probably quite a few others who are just as bad! So I've been trying to think of things to make it easier to work up the courage to go to your first munch.
I think Postie's 'hand-holding' idea is great, and works very well. I was also wondering what anyone thought of having something like a 'newbie list' for each munch, administered by someone other than the munch organiser to save them doing more work.
I know when I met Fallen Angel at Marcuso's and found out it was also her first munch, we jumped up and down hugging and squealing lots! Because although everyone else is, of course, fantabulously lovely, it does make you feel good to know who else is in the same situation as you. So I was thinking, if there was a 'newbie list', anyone who wanted to could ask to be put on it. All the newbies for that particular munch could then be put in touch with each other in the weeks before the munch, so they can share their nerves, get to know each other a little bit before the munch, and know who else is new - who to look out for at the munch. Oooh, they could even have 'First Time Muncher' badges so they could all spot each other, and the rest of us could know who to take extra special care of! passionkiss

What do you think? Would this help people? Or not work because lots of newbies don't actually show up to munches.... or create a sub-group of newbies that then woudn't mingle as much when they got there? Is it safer just to leave the newbie-guarding to established and trusted members of the site?
Thoughts please.... smile

Cocoa xxx

17 Nov 2005

Having not yet plucked up the courage it sounds like a good plan to me......but guess its up to those in the know.

17 Nov 2005

Cocoa you have just expressed what loads of people are thinking I'm sure. biggrin

I was scared to death to go alone, so arranged to meet Naughtynympho and Sleazy, who took me under their wing and looked after me, makign sure I was OK and introducing me to people kiss

:kiss:
But it was SO great meeting you as you were in the same position as me and it is so much fun discovering the wild and wacky world of swinging together.
:happy: :happy:
I think it's a great idea to have a list of newbies, but it's also important to have someone who knows the ropes too.
I think if I had gone with another new person I may not have spoken to anyone ! The first time I went to a club, it was with a man who had never swung before either. We just stood at the bar nursing our drinks and looking scared, and that's no fun at all!
So a combination of the two would be great.
Just fantastic to meet you Cocoa honey :inlove:

17 Nov 2005

The 'hand holding' thing was great... meant we not only met you, practically our RL neighbour, but that also I got to spend time with Postie, without me & him talking Trades Union stuff.
However, when you meet us this weekend, I must warn you thatI have a friend in the pub who makes Postie look as 'red' as that Thatch*r frmale..
So you will not be spared Politics, after all.

17 Nov 2005

Must admit the first munch I was told I was allowed to go to was too much for me.
Walking in to a room full of people who knew each other and I didn't know a soul was too great a challenge so I didn't go.
Next munch I took friends with me and Postie was staying with them so he was there also to help us make that all important first move.
Must say I needed company as it was too much for me just to walk into a pub alone as a single woman .. I don't even do that with vanilla places and meets. redface

DD

17 Nov 2005

Hi makingcocoa, it's great to hear that you've finally made your first munch and had such a great time - hope to see you at one sometime.
You are not the first munch-newbie to have your "hand held" - this has worked very well several times, and no doubt will continue to. The only slight risk I can foresee with your "newbie list" suggestion if the list contains a pushy bloke (edit: or bird - (now that Vix, she's a pushy bird lol

) )who exploits it.
Mike.

17 Nov 2005

Personally i feel people mix rather well anyway, tho if a new person feels better having someone to 'hold their hand' they why not, i think cause you talk so much on here you feel you know people you have never met anyway, and i find myself chatting away like i've known them years even tho we may have never met b4
but then my mum always did say if talking was an olympic sport i'd get England a gold every time :shock:

17 Nov 2005

I was nervous as hell at the first munch I went to, so much so that I spent most of the evening not talking to anyone, except the people that came to speak to me. It was only when Skimpy came over and virtually dragged me over to the bigger group that I started to come out of my shell a bit. So effectively I had a hand-holder too.

17 Nov 2005

Quote by MikeNorth
Hi makingcocoa, it's great to hear that you've finally made your first munch and had such a great time - hope to see you at one sometime.
You are not the first munch-newbie to have your "hand held" - this has worked very well several times, and no doubt will continue to. The only slight risk I can foresee with your "newbie list" suggestion if the list contains a pushy bloke who exploits it.
Mike.

Quote by Article 002
When one is discribing a tosser, one should always be fair and unassuming of gender, when using the gender discriptive noun.

In accordance with the above SHUnion directive, I formally ask the above quoted MikeNorth to amend the offending paragraph in his post to the wording below.
Article 002 of the SHU states that that should have read
"The only slight risk I can foresee with your "newbie list" suggestion if the list contains a pushy bloke, or bird, who exploits it."
Vix
Can't Remember my Job Title but It Was Important.
Of the SHUnion

17 Nov 2005

I must admit I was quite nervous at the NE munch, the only one I've been to so far. I shouldn't have been, as everyone I met that night was very cool, and Sean was an exceptionally gracious host.
I didn't take advantage of Postie hand-holding scheme, but in retrospect it would have been a damn good idea.
My nerves also weren't helped by MartyCleveland being on the door - he's a great bloke (at least that was the impression I got after our very brief chat), but he's the spitting image of somebody I knew at uni and the sight of him at the top of the stairs was enough to completely flummox me, especially when I've picked a nickname that's very easy to get tongue-tied over.
I'm not sure putting all of the newbies in touch with each other is such a good plan - after all, they are by definition an unknown quantity and it's possible that they might end up frightening each other off.
If it's not too much trouble for the long-suffering but greatly appreciated individuals who deal with munch badges then the idea of a symbol of some kind to indicate newbie status might be worth implementing, especially if munch organisers want to delegate the task of looking after newbies to another person or people.

17 Nov 2005

The Newbie Identifyer would have to be optional. Some might not want the attention.
Yeah, right!!

17 Nov 2005

munches are like clubs, not knowing what to expect can fry your head a little, but we have all been there , and we all end up thinking after " what the hell was i worried about ", but was great meeting you hun, see you again soon ....... serps & slayer xxxxxxxxxx

17 Nov 2005

Fallen Angel... you too, honey kiss

Vix - ooooh, politics and pubs, two of my favourite things! Really looking forward to tomorrow!
MikeNorth - yes, I finally braved it! Will be at Wigan, NW, Midlands, Bristol and Notts... hope to meet you at one of them smile

Deviated Prevert - omg I think we may have been to the same uni, MartyCleveland reminds me SO much of a good mate of mine! Is he Welsh? biggrin

I agree that a newbie list might be open to abuse by someone pushy. Can't think of a way around that.... I suppose the administrator would have to keep in touch with everyone and check they're all ok. Which makes that job (a) basically the same as the old hand-holder role and (b) shitloads of work!
What about having a newbie 'team' - a male, female and couple who are known on the site - who contact all the newbies beforehand, meet them at the munch and introduce them to each other?
Or even just newbie badges... maybe that would be easiest.
Cocoa x
P.S. Could someone explain to me how to do multiple quotes so I don't have to keep scrolling doiwn to remember what I wanted to say to everyone? :D

17 Nov 2005

Due to go to my first Munch next month, and I must admit i'm as nervous as hell. I remember back to Posties thread about a helping hand at your first Munch. I do hope theres one at this one.
Everyone on hear does sound fantastic and I look forward to meeting you all soon. Maybe a wee-whiskey before I go in.
With regards to the newbie thing, not a bad idea to cat before you go :idea:

17 Nov 2005

Quote by The Dukes
With regards to the newbie thing, not a bad idea to cat before you go :idea:

Ooooh, whassat? Catting? Will we be needing a new Forum?

17 Nov 2005

We had a couple of people to "hold our hand" at our first munch and it really did make a difference. I wasn't nervous at all (once I got in the door wink

)
Went on to have a brilliant time and realised what a great bunch of people all the SH'ers are and that some of them were actually "normal" :shock:

Quote by makingcocoa
I think Postie's 'hand-holding' idea is great, and works very well.

Even though I'm not a munch "virgin" rolleyes

, I'd like to try out Postie's hand holding idea so....................
POSTIE will you hold my erm.........................hand at the munch please? :wink: :twisted:
Fee
XX

17 Nov 2005

Quote by Vix
With regards to the newbie thing, not a bad idea to cat before you go :idea:

Ooooh, whassat? Catting? Will we be needing a new Forum?
Sorry must proof read in future (Chat) redface

17 Nov 2005

Having a newbie list for your 1st munch is def something I'd go for. Doesn't matter how much people say that you'll settle in straight away and that everyone will mingle - I'd much prefer to go with someone in the same boat.

17 Nov 2005

Ice Pie has just let me know that he'll be offering the option of 'newbie badges' for anyone going to the Scottish munch on 26th November, and hopefully for munches after that as well. So if you're going to Scotland and you want to be identified as a newbie, PM the extremely talented Ice Pie and he'll sort you out.
Thanks a lot, Ice smile

Cocoa x

17 Nov 2005

deleted

17 Nov 2005

Quote by The Dukes
Due to go to my first Munch next month, and I must admit i'm as nervous as hell. I remember back to Posties thread about a helping hand at your first Munch. I do hope theres one at this one.
Everyone on hear does sound fantastic and I look forward to meeting you all soon. Maybe a wee-whiskey before I go in.
With regards to the newbie thing, not a bad idea to cat before you go :idea:

Post a thread on here telling us which one you're going to and we'll look out for you x

17 Nov 2005

deleted

17 Nov 2005

Quote by davidsplayroom
Fallen Angel
Seen you on many threads
I am a newbie, see you are relatively new too but a little more advanced than I
Could really do with more friends to chat to
I am pretty outgoing but this all pushes boundaries
I hope you will be a lovely girl and get in touch,
Oh if you prefer the forum go to lets meet and look for a lovely new guy on the block ;)

Ooh looks like I've pulled! biggrin

17 Nov 2005

i think its great that existing members take the time discuss issues such as this and are pro-active in trying to integrate newbies such as myself into the group. i will definately feel a lot less nervous when i do get to my first munch knowing that there are ideas in place to get people involved as much as possible. going into a bar where you know no-one and trying to make friends is really scary so thanks for showing what a friendly bunch you all are!!!

17 Nov 2005

Quote by LadyFeeBee
We had a couple of people to "hold our hand" at our first munch and it really did make a difference. I wasn't nervous at all (once I got in the door )
Went on to have a brilliant time and realised what a great bunch of people all the SH'ers are and that some of them were actually "normal" :shock:

I think Postie's 'hand-holding' idea is great, and works very well.

Even though I'm not a munch "virgin" rolleyes

, I'd like to try out Postie's hand holding idea so....................
POSTIE will you hold my erm.........................hand at the munch please? :wink: :twisted:
Fee
XX
:rascal: Ladyfeebee, it'd be a pleasure..... :love:
( i think i have just blushed)
and i think you are about to get a pm too !

18 Nov 2005

I am going to the scottish munch which will be my first. Can't wait and not at all nervous........................Yet!
If anyone wants to hold my hand and introduce me to folks though, give me a pm and we'll arrange to meet.
Oh, also, can you get a sh pin when you're there or do you have to order them now?
Cheers, hope I didn't hijack!

18 Nov 2005

Well i gotta say i felt the same way as cocoa did, i was very nervous last saturday, i nearly bottled it but im so glad i didnt. Walking in with KazBBW & Glenn, Joanne-ish & Mike and rogerthedragon made all the difference.
Was a very enjoyable experience all round and now i feel i would be able to attend a future munch without having to get a chaparone to walk me in, very friendly crowd and instantly made welcome.
Thanks all, and my advice to other newbies is, dont worry, be happy and enjoy it smile

Steff

18 Nov 2005

Quote by makingcocoa
Ice Pie has just let me know that he'll be offering the option of 'newbie badges' for anyone going to the Scottish munch on 26th November, and hopefully for munches after that as well. So if you're going to Scotland and you want to be identified as a newbie, PM the extremely talented Ice Pie and he'll sort you out.
Thanks a lot, Ice
Cocoa x

I think this is an excellent idea my self biggrin

That way if i see a newbie at a munch i will go out of my way to make them welcome. I will ask Yofiban if she wants to wear one. Well done Ice :D
Carol

18 Nov 2005

Ohhhhhhh the first and only munch i have been to so far was real nerve racking confused

Fortunately for us, a real kind person from swinging heaven took us under her wing and introduced us to a fair few people...you know who you are and loads of thanks hun xxx
you do have to be careful of the pushy blokes but i do think a badge with something like SH newbie on it would be a good idea..... because the munch we went to was at chams and we honestly didn't recognize anyone, if it wasn't until that certain person came up and introduced us to everyone we would of gone home not knowing anyone lol
Must say though, i didn't get to find any females willing to do the tango sad

but i did get a chance to dance with a really hot sexy blonde naked on the pole :twisted:
We would attend more munchies but as we can't drive and there don't seem to be any munchies in leicester we have to miss them :cry: :cry:
Sooooooooo when there is a munch and someone from leicestershire with a car goes let us know lol

Shaz xx

18 Nov 2005

Just to be clear Shaz, the event you attended at Chams wasn't a munch. A munch is a purely social event
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/terminology/munch.html