Hello all.
I'd be really interested to hear other peoples opinions regarding time wasters.
I was stood up today for the second time by the same person. Maybe I'm a little too trusting, perhaps a tad naive. But when I organise to meet with someone I'd expect to meet or at least be given an explanation as to why the no show.
Both meets were arranged at relative short notice, which, you would assume, meant that the other person new they were free or had no prior engagements.
The annoying thing on top of the wasted 90 minute round trip is that when I've attempted to ask the person in question where they were I get nothing.
Is there a protocol for "outing" timewasters, or do I just need to learn from the episode, forget it and move on?
Thanks for reading
Swordsman
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Time wasters
Quote by Swordsman2006
Hello all.
I'd be really interested to hear other peoples opinions regarding time wasters.
I was stood up today for the second time by the same person. Maybe I'm a little too trusting, perhaps a tad naive. But when I organise to meet with someone I'd expect to meet or at least be given an explanation as to why the no show.
Both meets were arranged at relative short notice, which, you would assume, meant that the other person new they were free or had no prior engagements.
The annoying thing on top of the wasted 90 minute round trip is that when I've attempted to ask the person in question where they were I get nothing.
Is there a protocol for "outing" timewasters, or do I just need to learn from the episode, forget it and move on?
Thanks for reading
Swordsman
Think you have summed it up very nicely yourself.
yep, sad tho it is, its all part and parcel of the game we call swinging......as in the 'real world' some people are reliable, some are not, some people have maners and courtesey, some dont.....and some people read the sun....and some dont :giggle:
best thing to do is just move on...and if you have been stung twice with no valid reason, dont go there again
:lol: :lol:
best thing to do is just move on...and if you have been stung twice with no valid reason, dont go there again
:lol: :lol: 
Sex God
It would be so much easier if we just had some form of system so we could out timewasters like this... You know just the ability to leave a comment saying "Turned up... did well... Oral technique slightly suspect but I reckon that may be down to a dodgy Pork Pie."
What ?
What have I said now?
Why is everyone looking at me like this?
:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
What ?
What have I said now?
Why is everyone looking at me like this?
:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: Quote by Resonance
It would be so much easier if we just had some form of system so we could out timewasters like this... You know just the ability to leave a comment saying "Turned up... did well... Oral technique slightly suspect but I reckon that may be down to a dodgy Pork Pie."
What ?
What have I said now?
Why is everyone looking at me like this?
What? You mean some way to verify that people are what they say they are? Hmmmmmmm...........
Sex God
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
It would be so much easier if we just had some form of system so we could out timewasters like this... You know just the ability to leave a comment saying "Turned up... did well... Oral technique slightly suspect but I reckon that may be down to a dodgy Pork Pie."
What ?
What have I said now?
Why is everyone looking at me like this?
What? You mean some way to verify that people are what they say they are? Hmmmmmmm...........
I'm surprised nobody has thought of it before to be honest fluff... Honestly what do people do on here all day? ;-)
Back to the OP... I'm afraid it is just a case of living and learning... Not nice when you are subject to that twice, but at least you know it is not likely to be third time lucky.
Mike here.
It has not happended to us yet, but can imagine how annoying and frustraiting it can be.
We know someone who lives near Newcastle and travelled all the way to London, and ended up sitting in a restaurant for an hour or so waiting for a couple to show. Apart from feeling a right burke, it is a very expensive outing.
I can understand someone getting cold feet, but a text at least to save you the time and money does not seem a hard thing to do. Anyone who does not at least give this courtesy are rude and ignorant, and in the end the type of people you would not want to meet anyway.
Unfortunately policing this is almost impossible, in the end it is one persons word against another, and therefore I feel your last comment, as highlighted by Kentswingers does indeed sum it up.
It has not happended to us yet, but can imagine how annoying and frustraiting it can be.
We know someone who lives near Newcastle and travelled all the way to London, and ended up sitting in a restaurant for an hour or so waiting for a couple to show. Apart from feeling a right burke, it is a very expensive outing.
I can understand someone getting cold feet, but a text at least to save you the time and money does not seem a hard thing to do. Anyone who does not at least give this courtesy are rude and ignorant, and in the end the type of people you would not want to meet anyway.
Unfortunately policing this is almost impossible, in the end it is one persons word against another, and therefore I feel your last comment, as highlighted by Kentswingers does indeed sum it up.
Sex God
Quote by Swordsman2006
Hello all.
I'd be really interested to hear other peoples opinions regarding time wasters.
I was stood up today for the second time by the same person. Maybe I'm a little too trusting, perhaps a tad naive. But when I organise to meet with someone I'd expect to meet or at least be given an explanation as to why the no show.
Both meets were arranged at relative short notice, which, you would assume, meant that the other person new they were free or had no prior engagements.
The annoying thing on top of the wasted 90 minute round trip is that when I've attempted to ask the person in question where they were I get nothing.
Is there a protocol for "outing" timewasters, or do I just need to learn from the episode, forget it and move on?
Thanks for reading
Swordsman
I think the 2nd part is probably the path you should follow, dust yourself down, pick yourself up and move on... but maybe the lesson is to get to know the people better before arranging possible meets
no shows just happen to be part of swinging I'm afraid....they may had has good reasons or just might get a kick of messing people around.... I don't get many these days because I make sure of the people I get involved with.....
May I speak from the other side.
I was making arrangements for a meet, but before the date was set I had to back out. Then later, I started to think about the meet again. Every time I was about to ask the lady again something came up.
Things happen, but it is good manners to cancel up front or appoligised afterwards.
Travis
I was making arrangements for a meet, but before the date was set I had to back out. Then later, I started to think about the meet again. Every time I was about to ask the lady again something came up.
Things happen, but it is good manners to cancel up front or appoligised afterwards.
Travis
Even when i was meeting as a single lady i used to get people not turning up without a reason, and some would practically push you into meeting and still not turn up 
i`m sure even if you do get cold feet you can still make a call. If i ever had to cancel due to family or whatever, i would at least pm if i didnt have a phone number. We know things can happen even if its been arranged for a while, but manners cost nothing really.
i`m sure even if you do get cold feet you can still make a call. If i ever had to cancel due to family or whatever, i would at least pm if i didnt have a phone number. We know things can happen even if its been arranged for a while, but manners cost nothing really. I flew from stansted to dublin, for a date that did not show up.
I knew it was going to happen as she had broken contact 2 days before the date... on msn and cellphone
I still went and spent the weekend touring a city new to me.
was I happy? f..k no I wasn't!
it's the first and only no show so far.
I've been a gentleman about it too, as I knew where she would have been at later that day..and even have her on facebook, where I could have posted a few nasty things about her...but what would have been the point?
but yes the idea of posting on these websites the names of those people who have a change of heart and don't have the manners to alert you (or alternatively give an explanation afterwards)... should be an option to look into.
I knew it was going to happen as she had broken contact 2 days before the date... on msn and cellphone
I still went and spent the weekend touring a city new to me.
was I happy? f..k no I wasn't!
it's the first and only no show so far.
I've been a gentleman about it too, as I knew where she would have been at later that day..and even have her on facebook, where I could have posted a few nasty things about her...but what would have been the point?
but yes the idea of posting on these websites the names of those people who have a change of heart and don't have the manners to alert you (or alternatively give an explanation afterwards)... should be an option to look into.
Sex God
Quote by Melting_pot
I flew from stansted to dublin, for a date that did not show up.
I knew it was going to happen as she had broken contact 2 days before the date... on msn and cellphone
I still went and spent the weekend touring a city new to me.
was I happy? f..k no I wasn't!
it's the first and only no show so far.
I've been a gentleman about it too, as I knew where she would have been at later that day..and even have her on facebook, where I could have posted a few nasty things about her...but what would have been the point?
but yes the idea of posting on these websites the names of those people who have a change of heart and don't have the manners to alert you (or alternatively give an explanation afterwards)... should be an option to look into.
I've been stood up, on several occasions. It is harsh but true when arranging meets or dates of any nature via the internet. There will be people for whom this is little more than a fantasy.
I'd be wary of going down the naming and shaming route though - what if I had arranged to meet you and, god forbid, on the way I have an accident. I spend the next few days or so in hospital and contacting you to explain is the last thing on my mind. The next time I log back onto the site I find that I have been named and shamed while I hadn't been there to defend myself?!
Hmmmm.... it might sound far-fetched but people do have genuine reasons for no shows.
I think you have to develop your own set of checks and balances: if someone inexplicably goes off-radar a couple of days before a meet (especially one where I have already spent money for hotels or travel expenses) then I would be VERY dubious indeed and would more than likely cancel to recoup my costs.
You have to persevere though and not get hung up on the minority timewasters.
Nola x
I have perservered and as for the idea of naming and shaming...the person who stood me up is regularily online (not here)...and to this day (nearly one year has passed) I still don't know what her motives were. not that I'm interested..
I admit that there may be cases such as your example..but still..
anyway, it seems to me that the word timewaster, these days is thrown around too easily and quite often inappropriately..
I have a feeling that people who simply are not interested, or have found so after chatting for a short while, might end up being called timewasters... when all they are is people who have made a choice.
I admit that there may be cases such as your example..but still..
anyway, it seems to me that the word timewaster, these days is thrown around too easily and quite often inappropriately..
I have a feeling that people who simply are not interested, or have found so after chatting for a short while, might end up being called timewasters... when all they are is people who have made a choice.
:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:
Timewasters are fab! :shock:
Without them, we wouldn't be able to work out who it was is that we actually have time for
.
Am i a timewaster? I'll be considered a timewaster by some people and i won't be considered a timewaster for others and really i won't apologise for being a "timewaster" in someone elses eyes simply as i will have completely legitimate reasons for being someone else's timewaster
, it doesn't necessarily follow that the other person will view my reasons as being legitimate or actually have a right to an explanation.
Of course all things considered, i would much rather have "my time wasted" than have my time impinged upon by the opposite. I'm thinking the opposite of this as being "stalked" where someone else is wasting My Time by imposing themselves or being pushy to the extreme. (The extreme being my own interpretation of acceptability.)
Anyway, as ever, my thoughts are my own. You can decide for yourself if i have wasted my time in posting
.
Little X
Timewasters are fab! :shock:
Without them, we wouldn't be able to work out who it was is that we actually have time for
. Am i a timewaster? I'll be considered a timewaster by some people and i won't be considered a timewaster for others and really i won't apologise for being a "timewaster" in someone elses eyes simply as i will have completely legitimate reasons for being someone else's timewaster
, it doesn't necessarily follow that the other person will view my reasons as being legitimate or actually have a right to an explanation.Of course all things considered, i would much rather have "my time wasted" than have my time impinged upon by the opposite. I'm thinking the opposite of this as being "stalked" where someone else is wasting My Time by imposing themselves or being pushy to the extreme. (The extreme being my own interpretation of acceptability.)
Anyway, as ever, my thoughts are my own. You can decide for yourself if i have wasted my time in posting
.Little X
Quote by little
:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:
Timewasters are fab! :shock:
Without them, we wouldn't be able to work out who it was is that we actually have time for
Am i a timewaster? I'll be considered a timewaster by some people and i won't be considered a timewaster for others and really i won't apologise for being a "timewaster" in someone elses eyes simply as i will have completely legitimate reasons for being someone else's timewaster
Of course all things considered, i would much rather have "my time wasted" than have my time impinged upon by the opposite. I'm thinking the opposite of this as being "stalked" where someone else is wasting My Time by imposing themselves or being pushy to the extreme. (The extreme being my own interpretation of acceptability.)
Anyway, as ever, my thoughts are my own. You can decide for yourself if i have wasted my time in posting
Little X
huh?
So far I have had four meetings from this site and thankfully they have all turned up. That said, I have been burnt many times in the past by no-shows. In my old age I am getting increasingly pessimistic, which is why, if possible, I try to arrange meetings within walking distance of my place (not always that easy in London). That goes for all meetings, and not just the ones from this site. I also try to go somewhere where I can do some work while waiting for my date (ie a cafe) in order to minimise the inconvenience if I am stood up.
