Hello all
As a single genuine, open-minded female, I posted an ad (93600), in the hope to meet other genuine likeminded guys for no strings fun in clubs, parties and on a 1-2-1 basis. I assumed that this site would be accumulate like-minded genuine guys who were looking for the same.
I have been subjected to a couple of abusive replies dictating the laws of morality and decency, as well as hypocrasy (apologies for the spelling!) in the way of do what I say and not what I do. The worst point is those guys who you spend a lot of time and effort talking to and getting to know, you go out of your way to ensure that you can attend, and then your efforts are rewarded by them not turning up. This has happened three times and I am seriously thinking what is the point?
I am interested in knowing other people's views and opinions.
Take care, have fun and enjoy life.
Alex xxxxxxxx
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Time Wasters & No Shows - Your Thoughts Please!
Sex God
A photo in the ad might help. You're very strong on the guy knowing your boundaries but then try to stipulate them in the ad - be better (if it is that important to meet and discuss i would 've thought).
Just some thoughts.
Just some thoughts.
Sex God
Sorry to hear about your experience of timewasters Alex. Unfortunately nobody on this site, be they couple, single male, or single female, is immune from timewasters, fakers, and fantasists. I have the impression that the "Let's meet up" section and the ad section are frequented by a fair number of less than serious people. On the other hand the cafe and the chatroom have a number of regulars who are real swingers, and are intelligent, witty, and genuine. Why not dwell here a little longer?
Mike.
Mike.
Mod
Hi Alex
You have not been on the Site long and not posted very often. The best people you will find will be those who you build a relationship with in these forums. You can see their sense of humour, their character and decide whether you are compatible long before you decide to meet up and be let down. You will also discover who else knows them and discover how reliable they are when it comes to meeting up and do they measure up to who they say they are.
You will always find loads of timewasters in the ads, but you should also find some genuine guys as well, but it is easier to find the good ones here than in the ads.
Perhaps you might like to put something on your profile, let us know which area you live or put a link to your ad in your signature. All can help, but you need to join in so we know as much about you as you want to know about us. Even though I live in the NorthWest, I was stopping over in Newcastle last Thursday. Perhaps we could have met - we'll never know.
Stick with the forums, if nothing else you'll make some great friends - I know I have
Mal
You have not been on the Site long and not posted very often. The best people you will find will be those who you build a relationship with in these forums. You can see their sense of humour, their character and decide whether you are compatible long before you decide to meet up and be let down. You will also discover who else knows them and discover how reliable they are when it comes to meeting up and do they measure up to who they say they are.
You will always find loads of timewasters in the ads, but you should also find some genuine guys as well, but it is easier to find the good ones here than in the ads.
Perhaps you might like to put something on your profile, let us know which area you live or put a link to your ad in your signature. All can help, but you need to join in so we know as much about you as you want to know about us. Even though I live in the NorthWest, I was stopping over in Newcastle last Thursday. Perhaps we could have met - we'll never know.
Stick with the forums, if nothing else you'll make some great friends - I know I have
Mal
Hi Alex.
Sorry to hear that you have been the subject of time-wasters. I find it surprising that as the room seems to be top-heavy with single males that you have had this kind of response. I can only say try not to let it put you off too much.
I am sure there are plenty of genuine single men in here for you, so I hope we dont all get "tarred with the same brush".
As they say..........persistance overcomes resistance.
Good luck in the future.
Sorry to hear that you have been the subject of time-wasters. I find it surprising that as the room seems to be top-heavy with single males that you have had this kind of response. I can only say try not to let it put you off too much.
I am sure there are plenty of genuine single men in here for you, so I hope we dont all get "tarred with the same brush".
As they say..........persistance overcomes resistance.
Good luck in the future.
Being a swinger may not be hazardous to your health but statistically it is hazardous to the health of your close family; after all, why else would so many "swingers" encounter sudden family emergencies which are often so major that they don't even have time to cancel their engagements? (And I hope I don't sound bitter because I'm not - before I gave up 66% of people I'd arranged to meet turned up, and I think that's doing pretty well.)
In seriousness, I think time-wasters are always going to be an epidemic on sites like this. Us fellas are mostly dreamers - we like to think about sex and talk about sex but actually going out and doing sex? With someone new? With all the washing and self-grooming and nerves that entails? "No thank you", think lots of fellas, "I'm gonna stay home and watch Sky Sports News! Mum, could you wash my jeans?" I don't know how you women put up with us, really I don't.
In seriousness, I think time-wasters are always going to be an epidemic on sites like this. Us fellas are mostly dreamers - we like to think about sex and talk about sex but actually going out and doing sex? With someone new? With all the washing and self-grooming and nerves that entails? "No thank you", think lots of fellas, "I'm gonna stay home and watch Sky Sports News! Mum, could you wash my jeans?" I don't know how you women put up with us, really I don't.
Mod
Quote by roger743
In seriousness, I think time-wasters are always going to be an epidemic on sites like this. Us fellas are mostly dreamers - we like to think about sex and talk about sex but actually going out and doing sex? With someone new? With all the washing and self-grooming and nerves that entails? "No thank you", think lots of fellas, "I'm gonna stay home and watch Sky Sports News! Mum, could you wash my jeans?" I don't know how you women put up with us, really I don't.
Don't tar us all with the same brush, Roger. Yes, there are many out there like that, but certainly not all.
Mal
Mod
None taken, Roger and I do understand where you are coming from, but it's always better to have a positive spin on these things.
Half full................or half empty?
Mal
Half full................or half empty?
Mal
Hi Alex , I just read your ad . It seems straightforward enough to me , and you did not even ask for them to have an Elephant Dick grafted on .. And then you get guys complaining they get nowhere with single women . I dunno , anyway stick around here a while you are very welcome , just relax and get to know some people , and you will do that in the biblical senseas well I'm sure. I am a southern softie , so feel perfectley safe with you the other end of the country !
Alex,
I'm a single lady who has wasted hours and hours on here, and emailing, and has sat in pubs feeling totally ridiculous because of no-shows. Whenever I see postings from single guys complaining because of lack of single women and lack of responses I get really angry. I 'talk' to these guys for ages, arrange a nice, safe meet, think about what I'm going to wear, get terribly nervous and then sit there like a total prat with the 'regulars' looking at me pittyingly. I can't explain it. All they have to do is send a text/mail saying 'Sorry, I bottled it. I hadn't thought it through'.
I'm older. Sometimes they think they want the 'mature woman'. But when it comes down to it they don't want to meet where they might be seen by their mates. How does that make me feel?
The problem is they don't think. They have a fantasy in their heads of the randy, no-strings encounter but really they want a regular, nice girl, And the two just aren't reconcilable.
Sorry to be low-key but at least you know you aren't alone.
I'm a single lady who has wasted hours and hours on here, and emailing, and has sat in pubs feeling totally ridiculous because of no-shows. Whenever I see postings from single guys complaining because of lack of single women and lack of responses I get really angry. I 'talk' to these guys for ages, arrange a nice, safe meet, think about what I'm going to wear, get terribly nervous and then sit there like a total prat with the 'regulars' looking at me pittyingly. I can't explain it. All they have to do is send a text/mail saying 'Sorry, I bottled it. I hadn't thought it through'.
I'm older. Sometimes they think they want the 'mature woman'. But when it comes down to it they don't want to meet where they might be seen by their mates. How does that make me feel?
The problem is they don't think. They have a fantasy in their heads of the randy, no-strings encounter but really they want a regular, nice girl, And the two just aren't reconcilable.
Sorry to be low-key but at least you know you aren't alone.
Orgasminator
There can be a coule of reasons for no shows....
1, they never intended to meet anyways.
2, a genuine problem has arose (ill, wife wont let them out, lol)
3, the thought a a shag was good, but they wernt selective in the initial stages and now have second thoughts.
4, no string sex is actually quite dificult for a lot of people, unless fueled by many drinks at the night club! There is something different about being sober and arainging a meet with someone(s) then showing up, and worrying "will I perform," "how do we go from an initial meet to having sex" and so on... I know I get the angst and butterflys before meeting a couple or single, even when i've met them and played before, but the day I just go "ok off to shag..." is the day I stop swinging!
5, with no photo its dificult to determin what someone looks like, you get talking then finaly get a pic and decide there is no "oomph" or they are not your type... that is the hardest thing to deal with in a nice way... especially when you like the person but visually there isnt that something... I have in the past said "i'm sorry, but youre not my type" and felt like the bigest load of shit saying it, but thankfully i've remained good friends with the people I've said it to... true there was an initial awkwardness, but afterwards things have been good :-)
1, they never intended to meet anyways.
2, a genuine problem has arose (ill, wife wont let them out, lol)
3, the thought a a shag was good, but they wernt selective in the initial stages and now have second thoughts.
4, no string sex is actually quite dificult for a lot of people, unless fueled by many drinks at the night club! There is something different about being sober and arainging a meet with someone(s) then showing up, and worrying "will I perform," "how do we go from an initial meet to having sex" and so on... I know I get the angst and butterflys before meeting a couple or single, even when i've met them and played before, but the day I just go "ok off to shag..." is the day I stop swinging!
5, with no photo its dificult to determin what someone looks like, you get talking then finaly get a pic and decide there is no "oomph" or they are not your type... that is the hardest thing to deal with in a nice way... especially when you like the person but visually there isnt that something... I have in the past said "i'm sorry, but youre not my type" and felt like the bigest load of shit saying it, but thankfully i've remained good friends with the people I've said it to... true there was an initial awkwardness, but afterwards things have been good :-)
I'm sorry to hear about the no shows Alex, But i do agree with Mal on this one. We joined the site originally to explore our interest in swinging. This was done after great discussion. We also thought the ads would be a good way to meet likeminded people to just go out for a drink and chat with. Well, we've had 3 meets and made new friends through the ads, but, as Mal said, the best place for making friends is most definitely here on the forums. Through here, we've got to know loads of people fairly well, Clare and Steve, DreamerHelen,& Heather to name just a few!! it's an easygoing atmosphere, just like your local pub on a larger scale!! As it happens, we only look on the ads section about once a week now, and we're on the forum every night!!
Orgasminator
And it's not just single guys that don't show up I've had couples do the same without so much as an excuse or an apology.
I can't say I've met that many people but some of those I have are now good friends and that friendship more than makes up for all the wasted effort, timewasters and no shows.
I can't say I've met that many people but some of those I have are now good friends and that friendship more than makes up for all the wasted effort, timewasters and no shows.
Sex God
i got stood up once! :cry:
its a horrible feeling, i wrote a poem about it here inthe forum!
it was actually by someone in the chatroom who still actually goes in.. so i at least got (still get) the pleasure of letting him know my displeasure!!!!
its a horrible feeling, i wrote a poem about it here inthe forum!
it was actually by someone in the chatroom who still actually goes in.. so i at least got (still get) the pleasure of letting him know my displeasure!!!!
Hi Alex .. I am in the north of England and I would just like you to know that the same thing happens to genuine guys.
I have made arrangements with people, chatted on and the phone then there is no show.
It does not happen all the time but enough to be annoying.
The worst are the pic collectors who always want yours first then they will send or want "couple more" so that they can make up their mind.
I have had many meetings with genuine couples and single females so i guess it is just a matter of persevering really.
If you want a bit of moral support or more get back to me.
best wishes ... Allan
I have made arrangements with people, chatted on and the phone then there is no show.
It does not happen all the time but enough to be annoying.
The worst are the pic collectors who always want yours first then they will send or want "couple more" so that they can make up their mind.
I have had many meetings with genuine couples and single females so i guess it is just a matter of persevering really.
If you want a bit of moral support or more get back to me.
best wishes ... Allan
Hello Alex.
I don't feel old enough (lie) or wise enough to offer you advice. But I would like to echo the positive sentiments posted above. Particulary the points about finding and getting to know people here in the Cafe.
I love it here. I must do cos I've had my first row, and now looking forward to see if we kiss and make up.
My more personal comments will be in the 100s of PMs I'm sure your about to get.
I don't feel old enough (lie) or wise enough to offer you advice. But I would like to echo the positive sentiments posted above. Particulary the points about finding and getting to know people here in the Cafe.
I love it here. I must do cos I've had my first row, and now looking forward to see if we kiss and make up.
My more personal comments will be in the 100s of PMs I'm sure your about to get.
Sex God
Marya wrote to Alex_female:
Very sound advice, Marya. Posters in this forum who are very goal-orientated are almost bound to end up disappointed.
Mine's a coffee!
Mike.
Try to take a step back. Limit your time online so it doesn't get obsessive
I know you've got your ad, but try to think of the whole thing as a social event and not just a means to an end. It's a chance to make new friends, if nothing else?
See you tomorrow (mine or yours?)
Very sound advice, Marya. Posters in this forum who are very goal-orientated are almost bound to end up disappointed.
Mine's a coffee!
Mike.
Sex God
Would love to come to the NE munch, but depends when it is - I'm planning an extended holiday from Mid-August to mid-October, though nothing booked yet. I was at the last NW munch, which was great fun, but if I stick to my holiday plans it looks like I will miss out on several munches! 
No sugar thanks
Mike.
No sugar thanks
Mike.
Don't let the no shows get you down Alex. Concentrate on having fun with the genuine people who DO show up. Marya and mike are right bout not letting it dominate your life. Although Marya can talk, :lol: :lol: She is the original internet obessive!!
Speaking of meeting, i met a really geogous lady yesturday, had the most amazing sensual sex imaginable.. WOW!
Thought i'd share that with you Alex! :wink:
You know, her name was alex_female too... What are the odds?? :wink:
And Mike, sorry but the munch will be in the Middlesbrough area in early september. Pity you can't make it, but then you have a 3 month holiday.. git! lol :lol:
:lol: :lol: She is the original internet obessive!! Speaking of meeting, i met a really geogous lady yesturday, had the most amazing sensual sex imaginable.. WOW!
Thought i'd share that with you Alex! :wink:
You know, her name was alex_female too... What are the odds?? :wink:
And Mike, sorry but the munch will be in the Middlesbrough area in early september. Pity you can't make it, but then you have a 3 month holiday.. git! lol :lol:
Sex God
Well, only two months, actually...
Erm..did I really write "only"?
Mike.
Erm..did I really write "only"?
Mike.
hmmm, i can't count!
And yes, you did say "only"... How dare you!!
And yes, you did say "only"... How dare you!!
Sex God
Marya wrote:
No, but I hope to be at Marcuso's motel party - I'll buy you and Alex a cup of tea...
Mike.
Nice ad, Mike - you coming to the NE Munch?
No, but I hope to be at Marcuso's motel party - I'll buy you and Alex a cup of tea...
Mike.
Orgasminator
Only three post's by you and your complaining already.
Just wait until you add has been viewed 5,000 by mostly wankers, who are just out for a quick thrill and they never intend showing up.
Better luck with your next contact.
TS
Just wait until you add has been viewed 5,000 by mostly wankers, who are just out for a quick thrill and they never intend showing up.
Better luck with your next contact.
TS
Sex God
Alex....
don't listen to them... in fact i admire a single woman on sites like these because you are strong, independant and know what you want... and if the guys are that "moral" then what the hell are they doing on a site like this!!!!!!
it is that double standard thing that is my biggest bugbear!!!
and in a way it makes it harder for us genuine nice guys.......
sean xxxxxxxx
don't listen to them... in fact i admire a single woman on sites like these because you are strong, independant and know what you want... and if the guys are that "moral" then what the hell are they doing on a site like this!!!!!!
it is that double standard thing that is my biggest bugbear!!!
and in a way it makes it harder for us genuine nice guys.......
sean xxxxxxxx
Im amazed :shock: see ! if only there was some single ladies looking for a playmate down my neck of the wood.
Am soooo keen to meet a liike minded lady who would like someone to go to parties or meets with but alas
Hope your luck improves cant believe there is no genuine guys up your way.
Mind you it is just possible there could have been unknown reasons why i was unfortunate to suffer this had arranged to meet a cpl through swing2us but had to cancel at the last minute (did have the decency to let them know) as my mother was taken ill and i had to stay with her as father could not get out of work.
Not only have i not heard from them again :cry: but a my mother died a month later so all in all
best wishes to all on here and hope you get the fun your looking for
Pete
Am soooo keen to meet a liike minded lady who would like someone to go to parties or meets with but alas
Hope your luck improves cant believe there is no genuine guys up your way.
Mind you it is just possible there could have been unknown reasons why i was unfortunate to suffer this had arranged to meet a cpl through swing2us but had to cancel at the last minute (did have the decency to let them know) as my mother was taken ill and i had to stay with her as father could not get out of work.
Not only have i not heard from them again :cry: but a my mother died a month later so all in all
best wishes to all on here and hope you get the fun your looking for
Pete
