Tips For Southerners Moving North

1 Aug 2005

In honour of it being Yorkshire Day today, I thought I would offer a few tips (no, not my own) to anyone who does what I did a few years ago, moves "oop north" from the south of England. I wish I'd known some of these before! lol

Mike.
Tips for southerners moving north.
1. Save all your beef fat. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you forget a Northerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Love"
3. Just because you can't drive on snow and ice does not mean we always have to give you lifts everywhere.
4. Don't be surprised to find video rentals and bait in the same store.
5. If it can't be fried in lard, it ain't worth cooking.
6. Remember: "Us" is singular. "Thaa" is plural. "Thaas" is plural possessive.
7. There is nothing sillier than a Southerner imitating a northern accent, unless it is a northerner imitating a Brummie accent.
8. Get used to hearing, "Tha not from around here, are tha?"
9. People walk slower.
10. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He were a southern bugger" is a legal defence up here.
13. If attending a funeral in the north take your baseball cap off when everyone else does.
14. The summer wardrobe you always brought out in April can wait till June.
15. You can ask a Northerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key piles of rubble, canals, coal mines, railway crossings, and where mills and factories used to stand, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

1 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Very good Mike. Sheffield here and all of it rang true lol

1 Aug 2005

Lovin No.7

1 Aug 2005

You never mentioned that they eat mushy pees and they call there testicles taters! lol

:lol:

1 Aug 2005

My advice would be to not venture north of watford;)
Only joking Northerners, calm down!!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by FNG_London
My advice would be to not venture north of watford;)
Only joking Northerners, calm down!!

S' OK, we don't want you anyway lol

1 Aug 2005

Quote by freckledbird
My advice would be to not venture north of watford;)
Only joking Northerners, calm down!!

S' OK, we don't want you anyway lol

You crazy kids!! wink

It's too cold anyway - you'd all laugh at my erect nipples redface

1 Aug 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Brilliant Mike.
Made me feel a little homesick for the city of steel. (As was)
I have a dictionary of Sheffield-speak from one of the old Rag Week programmes somewhere. I'll see if I can't dig out while I'm hunting for my passport.

1 Aug 2005

Derbyshire here and I can relate to vitually all of those ... especially the pronunciation ones being married to a cockney ;) ;) there is no r in glass!
C x

1 Aug 2005

and in Manchester....
16. Plaice, haddock, cod, rock salmon are replaced by.....fish.
17. Sweets are toffees, unless they are toffees, in which case they are caramels.
18. Rolls are barm cakes unless they are oven bottoms.
19. Unidentified hairy toenail clippings are called pork scratchings.
20. You will find less MUFC supporters than there were at home.

1 Aug 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
and in Manchester....
16. Plaice, haddock, cod, rock salmon are replaced by.....fish.
17. Sweets are toffees unless they are toffees in which case they are caramels.
18. Rolls are barm cakes unless they are oven bottoms.
or bread rolls or bread cakes or baps, depending on how far north you are
19. Unidentified hairy toenail clippings are called pork scratchings.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww
20. You will find less MUFC supporters than there were at home.

1 Aug 2005

Quote by FNG_London
It's too cold anyway - you'd all laugh at my erect nipples

Are they supposed to be cold to get erect then? Mine get hard when it's hot too. surprised

ops:

1 Aug 2005

Quote by freckledbird

18. Rolls are barm cakes unless they are oven bottoms.
or bread rolls or bread cakes or baps, depending on how far north you are

i thought they was called cobs confused

1 Aug 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1

18. Rolls are barm cakes unless they are oven bottoms.
or bread rolls or bread cakes or baps, depending on how far north you are

i thought they was called cobs confused

Cobs is a Midlands expression ..... baps is recognised here but depends if you're native to Derbyshire/Nottinghamshire or from another county.

1 Aug 2005

mike you forgot to tell them about the Northeasts best kept secret :gagged: :gagged:
THE STOTTY CAKE !!! worship

:worship: :worship:
good 1 mate
but is there any advice to us Northeners heading south ????????????????? innocent

runns off to hide bolt

:bolt: :bolt:

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Calista
Cobs is a Midlands expression ..... baps is recognised here but depends if you're native to Derbyshire/Nottinghamshire or from another county.

Reminds me that when I'm at work, I sometimes have to check myself before asking for a bacon roll/sandwich/cob/balm/breadcake/etc at the roadside greasy spoons.

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
You never mentioned that they eat mushy pees and they call there testicles taters! :lol:

Fookin' 'ell - is that why they walk slow then?
I'm just gonna tell Angelica I want jacket testicles wi' me steak tonight!!

1 Aug 2005

Well Southerners, you can slag off the north as much as you want.................
............. but the North (West) has the most swinging and other naughty activities per square mile than anywhere else in the UK.......You're all just jealous, aren't you?????
Ha.
I rest my case.
flipa

1 Aug 2005

Quote by FNG_London
My advice would be to not venture north of watford;)

Some southerners get a few miles north of Watford and think they must be in Scotland. Hmmmm, maybe that's why two southern guys wore kilts at the Notts munch! lol

Quote by northwest-cpl
and in Manchester....
20. You will find less MUFC supporters than there were at home.

Saw a good one the other day:
Do you know the best way to confuse a Man U fan?
Show him a map of Manchester. :lol:
Mike.

1 Aug 2005

Heres one on a similar vein, not mine -
SIGNS THAT YOU'RE A COCKNEY
1. You say 'mate' constantly.
2. You think it is perfectly normal to pay over for a pint.
3. Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'.
4. Anyone from outside London and north of Watford is a 'northern wanker'.
5. You have no idea where the north is.
6. You see All Saints in the Bar Med (again) and find it hard to get excited about it.
7. The countryside makes you nervous.
8. Somebody speaks to you on the tube and you freak out thinking they are a stalker.
9. American tourists no longer annoy you.
10. You talk in postcodes. "God, it was really warm round SW1 the other day".
11. You can't remember the last time you got up to 30 mph in your car.
12. You didn't realise that 'Paddington Green' is REAL.

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Calista

18. Rolls are barm cakes unless they are oven bottoms.
or bread rolls or bread cakes or baps, depending on how far north you are

i thought they was called cobs confused

Cobs is a Midlands expression ..... baps is recognised here but depends if you're native to Derbyshire/Nottinghamshire or from another county.
well i'm from nottinghamshire and i've always called them cobs, mind u i get some funny looks round here lol

Quote by bluexxx
Well Southerners, you can slag off the north as much as you want.................
............. but the North (West) has the most swinging and other naughty activities per square mile than anywhere else in the UK.......You're all just jealous, aren't you?????
Ha.
I rest my case.

ermmm.....yes lol

1 Aug 2005

Quote by happy go lucky 1
mike you forgot to tell them about the Northeasts best kept secret :gagged: :gagged:
THE SNOTTY CAKE !!! :worship: :worship:
good 1 mate
but is there any advice to us Northeners heading south ?????????????????
runns off to hide :bolt: :bolt:

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

1 Aug 2005

Here's a few that we use in this bit o' Derbyshire (and perhaps elsewhere as well lol

)
1. The ' corsy' is that bit that we walk on at the roadside. As in 'gerront corsy', or 'gedont corsy' . (Trans - Get on the pavement)
2. 'Me om' is where I live
3. A 'gennul' is a covered pathway between two houses within a terrace row.
4. A 'jitty' is an uncovered pathway leading from A to B (usually covered in D.O.G shite)
5 A 'poss' is a ladies handbag (we had to import that word because we have no ladies round here :lol: :lol: )
6 Every family members name begins with the letter R. As in R Steve, R Mandy, R Emma.
7 Whereas the relative terms begin with 'me' . As in 'me mam', 'me niece', even 'me neighbour'.
8 I also have gravy on 'me chips' and a bread cob for 'me tea'.

1 Aug 2005

oooh , as a Londoner who has been living in North Yorkshire for the past 12 years, and having lived in Sheffield prior to here... i have found it best to not:
mention whippet racing. Or flat caps. or racing flat caps... or wearing whippets as hats...
say "blimey it's cold"... as you invariable get called a southern wendy.
send a Yorkshire man a red rose on Yorkshire Day, as a smack in the gob hurts.
I have found it useful to:
learn the words to " Ilkley Moor Ba tat"... so I don't end up looking like John Redwood at the Welsh Conservative Conference.
to always say it's tea-time when i really mean it's dinner-time.
to say dinner-time when i mean lunch-time.
as soon as anyone asks if i am from "that London" , reply, "yes... but it's a shithole" (and i do agree there!)
Think anyone south of Sheffield is a southern wendy...
put a "t" in Bradford.
Wata is water and cow-juice is milk, coil is coal and skryking is crying. Mithering is moaning/whinging ...
and you know what.... i LOVE living in the North... wouldn't EVER move south...

1 Aug 2005

Quote by MikeNorth
In honour of it being Yorkshire Day today, I thought I would offer a few tips (no, not my own) to anyone who does what I did a few years ago, moves "oop north" from the south of England. I wish I'd known some of these before!
Mike.
Tips for southerners moving north.
1. Save all your beef fat. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you forget a Northerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Love"
3. Just because you can't drive on snow and ice does not mean we always have to give you lifts everywhere.
4. Don't be surprised to find video rentals and bait in the same store.
5. If it can't be fried in lard, it ain't worth cooking.
6. Remember: "Us" is singular. "Thaa" is plural. "Thaas" is plural possessive.
7. There is nothing sillier than a Southerner imitating a northern accent, unless it is a northerner imitating a Brummie accent.
8. Get used to hearing, "Tha not from around here, are tha?"
9. People walk slower.
10. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He were a southern bugger" is a legal defence up here.
13. If attending a funeral in the north take your baseball cap off when everyone else does.
14. The summer wardrobe you always brought out in April can wait till June.
15. You can ask a Northerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key piles of rubble, canals, coal mines, railway crossings, and where mills and factories used to stand, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

For a 'southerner' who is moving north - once my lady is all fixed - this is invaluable information as to not only understanding HER northern version of English but also every other bugger I am bound to come into contact with! - Still, there's more swinging clubs up there than down here so it makes sense dunnit!
I wonder if there is a Displaced Southerner's Support Group oop thar!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Wishmaster
In honour of it being Yorkshire Day today, I thought I would offer a few tips (no, not my own) to anyone who does what I did a few years ago, moves "oop north" from the south of England. I wish I'd known some of these before!
Mike.
Tips for southerners moving north.
1. Save all your beef fat. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you forget a Northerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Love"
3. Just because you can't drive on snow and ice does not mean we always have to give you lifts everywhere.
4. Don't be surprised to find video rentals and bait in the same store.
5. If it can't be fried in lard, it ain't worth cooking.
6. Remember: "Us" is singular. "Thaa" is plural. "Thaas" is plural possessive.
7. There is nothing sillier than a Southerner imitating a northern accent, unless it is a northerner imitating a Brummie accent.
8. Get used to hearing, "Tha not from around here, are tha?"
9. People walk slower.
10. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He were a southern bugger" is a legal defence up here.
13. If attending a funeral in the north take your baseball cap off when everyone else does.
14. The summer wardrobe you always brought out in April can wait till June.
15. You can ask a Northerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key piles of rubble, canals, coal mines, railway crossings, and where mills and factories used to stand, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

I wonder if there is a Displaced Southerner's Support Group oop thar!
See rule number 7 wishmaster!!!!! tut tut tut.... first lesson learnt i hope...
and woo hoo... you'll be almost a neighbour.... biggrin

1 Aug 2005

Tut tut Mike North, from smoggie land in Middlesbrough, none of that is true.
No more snogs for u mate!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Alex_Female
Tut tut Mike North, from smoggie land in Middlesbrough, none of that is true.
No more snogs for u mate!

Are ya shewer luv? :cry:

1 Aug 2005

Flounces off and makes a dramatic exit.

1 Aug 2005

Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin

Matt