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Tips For Southerners Moving North

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Quote by BrummyMatt
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
Quote by freckledbird
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
Quote by FNG_London
My advice would be to not venture north of watford;)
Only joking Northerners, calm down!!

with advice like that i agree stop where you are lol
Quote by naughtynymphos1

18. Rolls are barm cakes unless they are oven bottoms.
or bread rolls or bread cakes or baps, depending on how far north you are

i thought they was called cobs confused
daft that in't it cos we call tea cakes and yet theres no fruit in them and theyre not cakes oh and they are made of bread
:? well daft
Jane
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
say that again in english lol
Quote by freckledbird
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
So, whens the next Scottish munch confused: :lol:
Almost been done already by Happy Cats, but here's an attempt at the other version, for those about to move south (if anyone feels foolhardy enough to attempt it smile ).
<-- lived daarn hier all me loife (...sorry... rolleyes ), but I did get brought up calling it dinner and tea instead of lunch and dinner.
1. When out and about, keep your eyes straight ahead with a going-about-important-business or glazed-over look, and don't try talking to anyone you might come across, particularly on the underground / "tube" as they call it. People may well look at you oddly and run away if you try it. Even a smile can be frowned at.
2. Walk as quickly as your legs will comfortably carry you. Especially when entering/exiting public transport.
3. Take at least twice the amount of money with you that you thought you'd need on any trip/night out.
4. "The North" is anywhere further up than Watford. And it's all "north". There's no midlands, no yorkshire, just "north". And it's grim. Allegedly. You've never been there so you don't really know.
5. Postcodes are an acceptable way of describing where somewhere is (or nearest tube stop, or nationally-known landmark/theatre/museum) - in London anyway.
6. For anyone on the tube network, going "into town" may mean the city, even if you're bloody miles away (am I right? not sure...)
7. The slightest hill or muddy path absolutely requires a range rover (land rovers are for northerners) to circumnavigate. Or hell, just get a 4x4 anyway.
8. You worry about bombs on the way to work every day.
9. To foreigners (particularly Americans), you live in London if you live within 150miles of it. Maybe more. Northerners aren't stupid to ask if you've met the queen, but some others are ('cos obviously, you live close enough to have seen her out shopping and she's a close personal friend!).
Ok, exaggerations and generalisations abound, but you get the point! Afraid I'm not an expert in these matters (my disclaimer) but you're welcome to add/correct me. Was going to add something about shopping hours but I think it's just that it's a big city. Noone else had done it properly yet (either confused )
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
I ain't no yam yam evil where i grew up we had a tree :lol:
Quote by BrummyMatt
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
I ain't no yam yam evil where i grew up we had a tree :lol:
wot, the laver-tree rotflmao
yam a yam yam yow am
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
say that again in english lol and no other for the foreseeable future. It should be a night that you wish you could remember
:lol: :lol:
hmmm, I know what Yorkshire is like a bit, travelled there several times, and know its very much like that.
I have to say Newcastle would need a set of other rules
Quote by BrummyMatt
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
say that again in english lol and no other for the foreseeable future. It should be a night that you wish you could remember
:lol: :lol:
she doesn't need a translation, she's just started typing using her 'telephone voice' rotflmao
Well here's my advice for anyone moving 'oop north'...
allways have the kettle on and a brew at the ready for visitors
allways have a fire in ............makes it nice n cosy even in the midst of a heat wave !!!
watch out for the rag and bone man coming round every now and then so you can get rid of your rubbish
and most important of all ...........
when someone mentions dogging it's the sort where you take your dogs out to catch rabbits n stuff not the sort where you meet up a local beuty spots lol
and if you don't understand wot someone is saying just nod and say aye thy right theere biggrin
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Of course living here slap bang in the middle of you all, you are either a southern git or a northern git ... biggrin bolt
Matt

So Matt, which munches will you now be uninvited from? lol
look like yam stuck with the yam yam munch aer kid, shud be bostin :thumbup:
I ain't no yam yam evil where i grew up we had a tree :lol:
wot, the laver-tree rotflmao
yam a yam yam yow am
Shaggin'ell Meaty .. you beat me ..... i cannot get any lower than that :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote by dambuster

Cobs is a Midlands expression ..... baps is recognised here but depends if you're native to Derbyshire/Nottinghamshire or from another county.

rotflmao
Reminds me that when I'm at work, I sometimes have to check myself before asking for a bacon roll/sandwich/cob/balm/breadcake/etc at the roadside greasy spoons.
You forgot to mention "Buttie" as well lol wink
Quote by Nomad_Soul
5 A 'poss' is a ladies handbag (we had to import that word because we have no ladies round here lol :lol: )

OY Nomad!!!! that's 'cos you haven't met me .................. yet lol
smackbottom
I'm a Derbyshire lass through and through but I've never heard a handbag called a 'poss' before!! confused
can i add to number 10 ... they dont understand each other either!!
Quote by Alleyson

5 A 'poss' is a ladies handbag (we had to import that word because we have no ladies round here lol :lol: )

OY Nomad!!!! that's 'cos you haven't met me .................. yet lol
smackbottom
I'm a Derbyshire lass through and through but I've never heard a handbag called a 'poss' before!! confused
Thats exactly what I said :lol: :lol:
(Note to self: Your ass is gonna get such a whipping if you don't shut-up RIGHT NOW ! !)
Quote by Nomad_Soul

5 A 'poss' is a ladies handbag (we had to import that word because we have no ladies round here lol :lol: )

OY Nomad!!!! that's 'cos you haven't met me .................. yet lol
smackbottom
I'm a Derbyshire lass through and through but I've never heard a handbag called a 'poss' before!! confused
Thats exactly what I said :lol: :lol:
(Note to self: Your ass is gonna get such a whipping if you don't shut-up RIGHT NOW ! !)
Right that's it!!! Form a queue behind me please girls!! :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom:
Another variation -
Signs you are from Manchester -
1. You go mad when somebody who is not from Manchester says 'mad ferit', "Nobody says that EVER!" you scream.
2. You say 'mad fer it' when back in Manchester.
3. You think fisherman's hats are attractive.
4. You support Man City out of principle.
5. You see Coronation Street stars all the time and think nothing of it.
6. You deny that it rains all the time, as you struggle home with the shopping in yet another torrential downpour.
Quote by Happy Cats
Another variation -
Signs you are from Manchester -

7. You can't understand a word that United fans are saying because of their accents.
Quote by Happy Cats
3. Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'.
4. Anyone from outside London and north of Watford is a 'northern wanker'.

Surely that's (said nasally from one side of the mouth) wangher and norven wangher.
Quote by breezer
6. For anyone on the tube network, going "into town" may mean the city, even if you're bloody miles away (am I right? not sure...)

Not forgetting use of the word The, for example
The River = the river Thames, I was actually asked by a Londoner if there are any other rivers in the UK, she laughed heartily and accused me of winding her up when I mentioned the River Exe (as in Exmouth) Ox (as in Oxford), and said with laughing derision "That'd be in Wales then" when I mentioned the River Taff...
The Island = the Isle of White
The Ferry = the Isle of White Ferry
Oddly though, she asked me if I wanted to go for a picnic in The Park, I asked which was The Park and she said probably the local one!
Quote by marmalaid

3. Anyone not from London is a 'wanker'.
4. Anyone from outside London and north of Watford is a 'northern wanker'.

Surely that's (said nasally from one side of the mouth) wangher and norven wangher.
Quote by breezer
6. For anyone on the tube network, going "into town" may mean the city, even if you're bloody miles away (am I right? not sure...)

Not forgetting use of the word The, for example
The River = the river Thames, I was actually asked by a Londoner if there are any other rivers in the UK, she laughed heartily and accused me of winding her up when I mentioned the River Exe (as in Exmouth) Ox (as in Oxford), and said with laughing derision "That'd be in Wales then" when I mentioned the River Taff...
The Island = the Isle of White
The Ferry = the Isle of White Ferry
Oddly though, she asked me if I wanted to go for a picnic in The Park, I asked which was The Park and she said probably the local one!
lol
Ah "wangher!"
The traditional cockney motorist, friendly greeting
Where I live now we have:
Marra - Friend/mateYam - Home - as in "Ower Yam" - our homewe have a road named Finkle StreetWhere my parents came from you also have:Nettie - toilet - as in "wores the nettie hinnie?" (please can you direct me to the wash room)Hinnie - see Marra aboveCannie - pretty as in Cannie Lass, has other meanings depending on the phrasing
I'll see if I can remember some more.