To kiss or not to kiss:that is the question

18 Apr 2004

Quote by mollyandchris_54746
Kissing is cool, people should kiss more often, kissing should take over from handshakes in my opinion.

In many countries, that I have lived and worked in, kissing is the normal greeting between friends of both sexes. As your usually restricted Brit I did panic when the designer stubble of an Italian friend first touched my cheek, but I quickly warmed to the experience of a true and tactile friendship.
In the bedroom the kiss is one of the most sensual forms of touching imaginable, whether it is the nape of the neck, that deligtful zone of skin between navel and mons pubis or a teasing trip around the lips, what a perfect prelude to Love making.

18 Apr 2004

generally speaking, would people say a full beard would put them off?
to shave or not to shave, that is the question!!
or how long i can tolerate enforced hairy singledom!!!!! lol

18 Apr 2004

kissing is sensual & therefore essential in my book blast

18 Apr 2004

i don't know about a club situation but if you've planned a meet i'd say yes if you're both comfortable with it.
kissing's really sensual and it sort of seems the right thing to do so it's what should be done!

19 Apr 2004

Quote by woofrrrrrr
generally speaking, would people say a full beard would put them off?
to shave or not to shave, that is the question!!
or how long i can tolerate enforced hairy singledom!!!!!

personally i dont like facial hair... (especially on women!!! ) wink

but i know a lot of my mates think its is manly and horny... so u cant please everyone..... do what feels good for u
xxxx

19 Apr 2004

do what feels good for u
xxxx

Mmmmmmm! can I do you then busty

Kinky Lizard

19 Apr 2004

heheheheheheeh send me the "thing" ( shhhh secret) by email.... and ur chances will increase!!!!!!!!!
pmsl
mwah x x x x

19 Apr 2004

send me the "thing" ( shhhh secret) by email

I can't send my "thingy" through email, silly.....what are you girlies like.....honestly! wink

Kinky Lizard

19 Apr 2004

My opinion on this subject is that kissing is essential for me in a 1 on 1 but as the group gets larger then kissing gets a backseat.
I have in my past vivsited many working girls and always found myself going back to and becoming a regular with the girls that allowed kissing. It just bought on an extra eroticism to the experience for me.
So kissing definitley gets a big thumbs up from me.
Also having read the two links posted by sgt bilko(first reply) it seems that there has been a general shift in attitude from those two earlier threads on whether kissing should or should not happen. Most people who have replied to this thread have said that they like kissing whereas most people who replied to the previous 2 threads said they would not allow or would not feel comfortable with kissing.
Wonder why that is then?

19 Apr 2004

Little late on proceedings, but shall add to them if only because mine is a minority view. For us, snogging during swinging is not allowed.

Quote by Sappho
I'm a very tactile, demonstrative person so kissing and hugs just come naturally and kissing is one way of knowing whether there is any chemistry between you.

I am the opposite of Sappho, I am not tactile at all and casual physical contact makes me uncomfortable. For this reason, kissing is probably more of an issue to me than to others.

Quote by Clare and Steve
Thanks to everyone for all the replies to our original have now come to the conclusion after a swinging experience last night that it depends on the people you are with,and the situation.
Clare and Steve

Reading through the thread, and having had the opportunity to it discuss before, the question of kissing (snogging on the lips type kissing, as opposed the rest of the body) seems to be split by whether you regard it as a mainly physical or emotional act. Most of the 'Yes' camp seem to focus of kissing as a physical act. Most of the 'no' camp focus on the emotional act.
For us, kissing is a more intimate and emotional act than sex, if you like it is the thing that marks the boundary between making love, which is what Kit and I do, and having sex, which is what we do when we swing.
It IS a question of being aware that this is one of the areas where if you take things for granted, you can spoil a great experience.
lhk
Kat

19 Apr 2004

Not that we've met anyone as yet.......but we both have a view on this.
After talking about what may or may not happen should we be lucky enough to meet someone we decided on no kissing fro male to female, yet female to female would be ok
Might sound hypocritical, but if you're just meeting someone for some fun, then kissing them would bring a different level of intimacy to the relationship, and thats not the point of being here - after all, its fun and games we want.
Just our 2 pennies worth........

19 Apr 2004

Speaking from the percpective of a couplenew to swinging and in a very stable and secure relationship kissing becomes part of the fabric of having sex and as such its very difficult to break that cycle when your with other people, this does have the potential to cause problems though as it is a very personnal thing.

19 Apr 2004

To me, kissing is far and away the most intimate physical contact possible, and in a totally casual situation I simply wouldn't do it.
On the other hand, I wouldn't want to be intimate with someone I wasn't at least great friends with, and in that sense "totally casual" is a virtual impossibility for me, so the chances of me being in a situation where I might be expected to kiss but don't want to are pretty remote.
I was recently asked, if I had to choose, would I go for kissing without sex or sex without kissing. To me kissing - REAL kissing - is part and parcel of sex, so the answer is neither.
Ice

19 Apr 2004

I distinguish between kissing and snogging. Kissing is the friendly social type that I think Sappho was thinking about. It can be on the cheek or lips, but is never much more than a quick peck. Snogging is prolonged, on the lips, perhaps with tongue. Snogging is kissing with intent.
A quick kiss on the cheek is a good greeting, on the days I'm not feeling too shy. I'd only move it to the lips once I know that the other person isn't uncomfortable with it.
I don't have the emotional associations with kissing or snogging because I don't have a partner. There's no chance for jealousy.

20 Apr 2004

Well, This is 1 thing Daz and I have different views on. Daz says yes, he sees nothing wrong with a nice tongey kiss if the mood takes! I, on the other hand, feel that snogging is REALLY intimate and should be kept for your own partner. But a kiss on the lips is okay.
I've had views on things before and have changed my mind, so who knows what my view will be this time next month, lol!!!

21 Apr 2004

Never do it with strangers, personally - can't really see the point. In fact, I don't really see the point full stop. Oh, I'm such an old fashioned romantic confused

22 Apr 2004

We have made some good friends through swinging and are starting to feel a lot more comfortable kissing when in that situation and then going back to just being friends

22 Apr 2004

what ever floats yer boat.....just do it
Paul...i can understand where your comming from too

22 Apr 2004

Quote by KitKat
Reading through the thread, and having had the opportunity to it discuss before, the question of kissing (snogging on the lips type kissing, as opposed the rest of the body) seems to be split by whether you regard it as a mainly physical or emotional act. Most of the 'Yes' camp seem to focus of kissing as a physical act. Most of the 'no' camp focus on the emotional act.
For us, kissing is a more intimate and emotional act than sex, if you like it is the thing that marks the boundary between making love, which is what Kit and I do, and having sex, which is what we do when we swing.

I thought I would put our perspective on this, we are relatively new to swinging but have discussed the matter of kissing at some length. We are definately of the 'Yes' camp and have found kissing an important part of making the experience enjoyable for all. However we believe this is because it is an emotional act, we want to meet other people and make love to them, we do not want to set artificial boundaries to the situation. This is not because we do not love each other but because we want to share our love with other people.
I know this sounds very 'hippy' and that we are in a bit of a minority however going from experience we are certainly not unique.
:inlove: Lots of love to everyone - Roger & Charlotte.

23 Apr 2004

We find kissing very erotic. I personally get alot of pleasure watching my wife "M" kissing other men. Sex would not be natural without kissing!

23 Apr 2004

Interesting thread!
Personally I adore kissing and the first kiss is an especially wonderful experience
And I'd just love to meet girls who just want to kiss!
XXC

25 Apr 2004

Thanks to everyone for some great responses to our now had 3 swinging experiences and originally I thought that kissing would be no problem,but after last night i've had to revise this.I found that seeing my wife full on with someone else snogging away and fondling I got extemely upset. :cry:
The fondling I had no problems with as this turns me on to see my wife giving and recieving,but the kissing part really got to me,and has led me to decide that in our situation kissing is now a no no.
It will in future be a case of getting down and doing everything else exept the kissing aspect.
Steve

26 Apr 2004

Quote by clarensteve_lincs_69796
Thanks to everyone for some great responses to our now had 3 swinging experiences and originally I thought that kissing would be no problem,but after last night i've had to revise this.I found that seeing my wife full on with someone else snogging away and fondling I got extemely upset. :cry:
The fondling I had no problems with as this turns me on to see my wife giving and recieving,but the kissing part really got to me,and has led me to decide that in our situation kissing is now a no no.
It will in future be a case of getting down and doing everything else exept the kissing aspect.
Steve

I think you have highlighted a very important point here Steve. Whilst there are things we can all think we can do - the reality is sometimes different. Plus you have acknowledged that different situations cause different reactions (we call 'em blips and have had one or two!). The main issue is that you have the ability to stop it if you are uncomfortable about it or to discuss it afterwards and change future behaviour. Well done for being honest about your change of feelings.
I have read this thread with interest and previous ones as well. I will now comment as one half of a swinging couple with a years worth of experience.
We have always been a tactile and loving family. Anyone we know who comes to our house is always hugged and kissed and our children are the same. In fact they would think it funny to see us not greeting people we are friends with in a warm and affectionate way. We seem to have an open house that is always full of friends or kids in varying numbers!
We kiss during swinging according to how we feel. Because I know Wilma loves me and we have a strength in our relationship which I can see lasting for the rest of our lives I attach no more thought to the act of her kissing someone else - either male or female - than I do to her going down on another man or woman. They are all just sexual acts of varying degrees of sensuality and sexuality.
Blue said what is the point of kissing strangers and I actually agree - but we do not do clubs or dogging and by that action I suppose we only ever swing with people we know and have become friends with.
One question I will ask though is how many men of couples would not feel comfortable with their partner kissing another man but love to see them kissing another woman if their partner is bi? To me this is a conflict because kissing is the same act - whether it is with a man or a woman.
Personally I love to see Wilma free from constraints enjoying herself with another man or woman or in a group and I feel comfortable myself knowing that I am free from those constraints as well and never having to worry if she is getting upset by something that I consider trivial but she considers to be a big deal.
Do I ever worry that she will find a better kisser than me or someone better than me in her life just because he is a better kisser???? Who knows - but no constraint I ever put on her will ever stop her from leaving me if she chooses to and therefore I choose to give her the freedom to choose what she does with other people and the choice to come home with me if she wishes.
It has worked so far............... and I do think she loves me more for giving her the freedom to choose what she does with her sex life and not me making those choices for her.
Does that make sense????????? and I wonder what Wilma thinks of this thread....
Fred
XXXXXXXX (For those who can and want them!)

26 Apr 2004

Thanks for ur comments fredflintstone,i honestly thought before we started all this that it would be the physical stuff that would bother fact that its the kissing is a little odd and i know that my wife does like that part of it,but we both said before we started this that if one of us had a problem with anything we would always change it or stop that particular thing.
I do feel a little selfish to put this constraint on her but at the end of the day if there was anything i was doing that she didnt like i would emediatly stop it.
Who knows in the future I may decide that its no longer a problem for me,but until that day my wife is happy to go along with the boundaries that have been set.