This post is NOT a plea to be inundated with offers to photograph me in lude positions.
I was in the chatroom and the topic of pictures came up. One of the members had posted some rather good ones of his partner and they were being admired.
Me being me decided to relate the problems I had had taking pictures as a lone female.
One afternoon I have been having a fiddle and got rather excited so thought I would try and share the results my administrations had had on my labia and clit.
Not being the slender female I once was in my youth I lifted my tum with one hand and reached for my phone.
Grabbing my phone with wet sticky hands was a mission in itself. I stood with legs open and angled the phone into what I thought was a good position. Wrong I hadn’t put my glasses on and couldn’t see the little white spot I was supposed to tap to the take the picture. Grab the glasses lift the tum again and continue. By this time I was wetter and a bit drippy down there. The screen and my hand had become a tad soggy, quick tap and view the result.
Nope it was a total blur. Try again. Wipe the screen and hands, reposition and ………. This time I must have moved as all I got was the under crack of my bum. Still dripping all over the place and not giving up I decided to pop the phone onto a chair and squat over it.
Good idea you may think …Nope can’t see sod all. As I bend to tap the white dot my arse moves back and all I capture is my flabby tum. Brilliant. I am now experiencing jaw ache and dribble on my chin, as I tend to stick my tongue out when concentrating.
Ok Girl you can do this Think.
Lay on the bed and do it that way. Laying down I open my legs wipe my hands on the sheet and grab the phone again. Positioning it at what I think is a good angle, but can’t see as I am laying flat, I Tap Tap Tap.
View the results. Picture 1 is of the red patch on the side of my leg that developed due to swetting in the heat. Picture 2 is of the left cheek of my arse and the bedsheet. Picture 3 is of my tum and scar across my belly from years gone by surgery.
Despair and frustration is setting in. I decide ah mirror lets try that. On standing up I slip on the wetness all over the floor and nearly break my neck. Righting myself I turn arse toward mirror bend over open legs, turn back phone over shoulder and Tap.
Ah this has got to have worked surely ……. Nope all I got was glare on the mirror and the top of my head.
Sod it this so isn’t going to happen. I drop the phone on the bedside table grab the dildo and thinks who ever would want a pic of my nasty gash anyway.
Satisfaction arrived but not in the form of a picture.
Anyone else have similar problems or is it just me ??? PS I have bought a selfie stick yet to be tried out.🤣🤣🤣
