Vouching for someone

2 Jul 2005

Quote by new2trot
Doesn't deal with the press issue but then, nothing ever does because the press are a law unto themselves.

Now, don't kick me off mods, but I actually trained as a reporter (shock horror) when I first graduated, but I DON'T work in that field anymore (and I was a dogger when I did, anyway!) and I can honestly say that it'd be pretty difficult for the tabloids to make a decent story out of swinging and dogging unless you're a celebrity (anyone been in Eastenders? huh?). It's a huge gamble for the local press to try and run a story on this kind of thing... any local paper... cat stuck up tree, council shock move on public toilets... that's about the strength of story they can muster, unless it involves convicting a or something...(and I'm all for naming and shaming those bastards).
I remember when the paper I briefly worked on staked out some local public toilets where the gay fraternity had been spotted. It was pathetic and just read as roaring homophobia. It seems that the paper's editors were more small-minded than their readership however. as it provoked very little 'outrage' at all... In my opinion and it seems most liberally-minded people, if it isn't in broad daylight (ie when families might be around) then live and let live...
And before I climb off me soapbox - this is the 21st century... these things are out in the open and I would suggest that any member of the media trying to 'infiltrate and expose' people will be sorely disappointed...so there... here endeth the lesson.

2 Jul 2005

Quote by westerross
If you do vouch for someone ...it is in good faith of course so if he/she turns out to be a complete tosser, as Bluexxx said don't blame the person who did the vouching because in any other case no one would want to take the chance and vouch for anyone!

I think this completely undermines the value of vouching for someone. If you vouch for someone and they misbehave then you must be as responsible for their behaviour as they are. That way people who have been admitted on the say so of someone else are more likely to behave because they have an obligation to that person.
I don't think it matters whether you've met anyone, shagged 'em or just conversed with them on here - it is a matter of judgement for the voucher. I honestly think that munch organisers should satisfy themselves that a person who vouches for someone else is reliable too.
But what if you geniunly believe that the person you vouched for was ok and maybe you had met then before and never had a problem,what if on the night there was a complete change of character for that person resulting in an incident,could you really point a finger at the person who vouched and said "well you should have been a better judge of character".....

2 Jul 2005

Quote by da69ve
If you do vouch for someone ...it is in good faith of course so if he/she turns out to be a complete tosser, as Bluexxx said don't blame the person who did the vouching because in any other case no one would want to take the chance and vouch for anyone!

I think this completely undermines the value of vouching for someone. If you vouch for someone and they misbehave then you must be as responsible for their behaviour as they are. That way people who have been admitted on the say so of someone else are more likely to behave because they have an obligation to that person.
I don't think it matters whether you've met anyone, shagged 'em or just conversed with them on here - it is a matter of judgement for the voucher. I honestly think that munch organisers should satisfy themselves that a person who vouches for someone else is reliable too.
But what if you geniunly believe that the person you vouched for was ok and maybe you had met then before and never had a problem,what if on the night there was a complete change of character for that person resulting in an incident,could you really point a finger at the person who vouched and said "well you should have been a better judge of character".....
So then we go full circle - whats the point in the "Vouching" system? - if theres no come back on the "voucher" anyone might as well attend.
For what its worth I personally don't think any vouching should go on - more a case of "serving your time" on this place.
The only huge arguement i see against Newbies coming to munches is the fear of press, if you have a time served period, not many reporters will sit on here posting for 3 - 6 month! - don't think there editors would allow such a time for a poor story that doesn't really grab the headlines anymore.

2 Jul 2005

It seems like a fairly redundant idea. It could create a hierarchy or formal ' procedure '. There are other clubs which work along these principles. They are more financially oriented and therefore quite different from a 'free' social group.
It needs to work both ways. It is unlikely to prevent the situation where other oldies take a dislike to the newbie and an unpleasant incident arises. This does happen.

2 Jul 2005

well i think its a great idaer! :bounce:
I was vouched by someone months ago to attend a party!...and i was so pleased! they did!....i had only been on here for 2 months! and it was great to meet peeps!
And yes Mike you where there!
And it was a foot in the door.......... and since then its opening even more! wink

So i think its a great idaer!. :thumbup: but there have to be some rules!
But not sure what rules at mo! dunno

Debsxxx

2 Jul 2005

Someone took a chance by vouching for me after they had only met me twice ( damn I must have been good lol

), I have since met some lovely people.
I do agree that there should be a system as we all know that there are some "dodgy" characters about.
Thank you Mollman for vouching for me :inlove:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2 Jul 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
I was vouched by someone months ago to attend a party!...and i was so pleased! they did!....i had only been on here for 2 months! and it was great to meet peeps!
And yes Mike you where there!
And it was a foot in the door.......... and since then its opening even more!
Debsxxx

Debbie, two monthsis quite a long time - the problem is more with those who want to come to a munch when they've only been in here two days!
I remember that party well - that was the one where I didn't know you were there until a couple of days afterwards! lol

Mike. :thumbup:

2 Jul 2005

Quote by JudyTV
Andy I know vouching is or could be divisive but i'm afraid vouching will always go on and in some cases it is a useful tool for a event organiser to use.

Vouching will only go on if the organiser of an event wants it to. And I think it is entirely their prerogative to elect to do so or not but it is in fact more risky for an organiser to accept other people's judgement when they vouch for someone.

Quote by JudyTV
The organiser cant be expected to know everyone who wants to attend, so he/she does not want to be in a position where some one who has been on the site a medium to short time and have a regular say"Why didn't you allow XXXXX to come to the event, who TF are you say they are not worthy of an invite"

Couldn't agree more. And that dilemma could be solved by saying ' the cut-off date for attending is XX/YY and ther will be no vouching'. One rule for all - shit am I turning into a socialist here?? smile

Funny how there are two camps on this one. Having said that I wouldn't die in ditch over this one as I don't think there have been problems with people who have been vouched for has there??

2 Jul 2005

Quote by westerross

Andy I know vouching is or could be divisive but i'm afraid vouching will always go on and in some cases it is a useful tool for a event organiser to use.

Vouching will only go on if the organiser of an event wants it to. And I think it is entirely their prerogative to elect to do so or not but it is in fact more risky for an organiser to accept other people's judgement when they vouch for someone.

Quote by JudyTV
The organiser cant be expected to know everyone who wants to attend, so he/she does not want to be in a position where some one who has been on the site a medium to short time and have a regular say"Why didn't you allow XXXXX to come to the event, who TF are you say they are not worthy of an invite"

Couldn't agree more. And that dilemma could be solved by saying ' the cut-off date for attending is XX/YY and ther will be no vouching'. One rule for all - shit am I turning into a socialist here?? smile

Funny how there are two camps on this one. Having said that I wouldn't die in ditch over this one as I don't think there have been problems with people who have been vouched for has there??
Good point - are we trying to fix something that aint broken?? lol

2 Jul 2005

Quote by AndyS-NE
Good point - are we trying to fix something that aint broken??

Yeah, but it's good to have a natter. Kind of establishes datum points don't it. smile

2 Jul 2005

What about a SH ID Card? Surely SH could get it going just below the 9 billion mark.
Even at that money the experts think they will not be save.
You can never be sure of anybody. I know my big brother for 58 years now and he still ripped me of a considerable amount of money, which I would never have believed and I would have vouched for him anytime. But there the dreams go down the drain.

2 Jul 2005

Quote by G and H
What about a SH ID Card? Surely SH could get it going just below the 9 billion mark.
Even at that money the experts think they will not be save.
You can never be sure of anybody. I know my big brother for 58 years now and he still ripped me of a considerable amount of money, which I would never have believed and I would have vouched for him anytime. But there the dreams go down the drain.

Eh?

2 Jul 2005

frecklebird,
The first part referrs to the goverbments plan about the ID cards (It is supposed to be a joke).

2 Jul 2005

Quote by freckledbird
What about a SH ID Card? Surely SH could get it going just below the 9 billion mark.
Even at that money the experts think they will not be save.
You can never be sure of anybody. I know my big brother for 58 years now and he still ripped me of a considerable amount of money, which I would never have believed and I would have vouched for him anytime. But there the dreams go down the drain.

Eh?
I think the point was, you can think you know someone, but they can still let you down, so you can never be 100% sure when vouching for someone
Come on Bev, keep up!
wink

2 Jul 2005

Quote by G and H
frecklebird,
The first part referrs to the goverbments plan about the ID cards (It is supposed to be a joke).

Oh, OK. Sorry, some of it doesn't make sense confused

2 Jul 2005

I think 'Eh?' was fair comment!

2 Jul 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
What about a SH ID Card? Surely SH could get it going just below the 9 billion mark.
Even at that money the experts think they will not be save.
You can never be sure of anybody. I know my big brother for 58 years now and he still ripped me of a considerable amount of money, which I would never have believed and I would have vouched for him anytime. But there the dreams go down the drain.

Eh?
I think the point was, you can think you know someone, but they can still let you down, so you can never be 100% sure when vouching for someone
Come on Bev, keep up!
wink

I'll have to take your word on it HC lol

I was trying to keep up, honest - must be my age :shock:

2 Jul 2005

Quote by westerross
I think 'Eh?' was fair comment!

Thank heavens it wasn't just me biggrin

2 Jul 2005

Quote by JudyTV

Oh, OK. Sorry, some of it doesn't make sense

Honey, if you think that doesn't make sense you should see my shoe collection. Those white boots with 6 inch heels are untameable rolleyes

. The 2 inch platform soles dont really help either. wink

Judy
Judy, I'd fall down just looking at them!

3 Jul 2005

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
i can vouch that a few here are complete nutters no names mentioned
and some are complete darlings you know who you are

Ah my sweet - thank you so much. I've always known it as you say. wink

Now about these nutters.......

8 Oct 2007

Bumping this biggrin

9 Oct 2007

Quote by Freckledbird
frecklebird,
The first part referrs to the goverbments plan about the ID cards (It is supposed to be a joke).

Oh, OK. Sorry, some of it doesn't make sense confused

I didnt get it either rolleyes

:roll: xj

9 Oct 2007

Hehe - I didn't kill the thread after all!
If you all stop posting now - yer dead!
wink

.

9 Oct 2007

Now call me thick but I really dont understand this vouching/verification stuff. I thought this lifestyle was all about trust. How can anyone get to know anyone else if we are all to rely on the sayso of others? What, for instance, if someone doesent get on with someone else and then they are asked about the person? Whats stopping them saying really negative things about the other? Surely no one would ever get invites/meets if this is to be relied upon. What happened to trusting your own instincts? I dont see how vouching/verification can serve any real purpose.
dunno

9 Oct 2007

Vouching is synonymous with guarantee. In that the commercialisation of swinging has resulted in consumer expectations of promise of delivery.

9 Oct 2007

But nothing is guaranteed in this life is it?
I wonder what Trading Standards stance is on this lol

9 Oct 2007

Quote by helnheaven
Now call me thick but I really dont understand this vouching/verification stuff. I thought this lifestyle was all about trust. How can anyone get to know anyone else if we are all to rely on the sayso of others? What, for instance, if someone doesent get on with someone else and then they are asked about the person? Whats stopping them saying really negative things about the other? Surely no one would ever get invites/meets if this is to be relied upon. What happened to trusting your own instincts? I dont see how vouching/verification can serve any real purpose.

Agreed.

10 Oct 2007

Quote by helnheaven
Now call me thick but I really dont understand this vouching/verification stuff. I thought this lifestyle was all about trust. How can anyone get to know anyone else if we are all to rely on the sayso of others? What, for instance, if someone doesent get on with someone else and then they are asked about the person? Whats stopping them saying really negative things about the other? Surely no one would ever get invites/meets if this is to be relied upon. What happened to trusting your own instincts? I dont see how vouching/verification can serve any real purpose.

When we are meeting people to play with then we will use our own instincts.
When organising one of our curry nights we will ask others to vouch for people we have never met. Who do I ask? Someone we have met and have built up trust with. On a number of occassions I have called/text/e-mailed friends to ask about someone and asked their opinion. What are they being asked to vouch? Just that if they met them at a social were they abusive/punchy/argumentative or anything else that could ruin our night out.......because all in all....our nights are purely social and do not want them ruined by anyone.