What makes a good layby

27 Apr 2005

Well let's see.
Erm...................it's got to be level otherwise I roll off my bunk during the night and 'cos I'm in my sleeping bag I end up floundering like a fish out of water trying to get back on the bed.
It's got to have a butty van or something so I can get a cuppa and a bacon sarnie when I get up in the morning.
It's got to be away from the main road and screened by trees and bushes. Well we all like a bit of privacy don't we?
It's got to have some grass and trees and bushes so I've got my very own garden to go out to play in.
It's got to have some picnic tables so if I feel hungry I've got a proper table to eat off. Also they give me something to lie down on if I feel tired all of a sudden when I'm taking the fresh air.
It's got to have a toilet which is open all night 'cos sometimes the irresistible forces of nature grab me.
Anyway, toilets are very contemplative places to be, particularly at 1 or 2am!
It's got to have some nightlife. I'm an avid naturalist and it's amazing how much activity goes on in the animal world at night.
Hmmmmmmmm, well.....................maybe I've missed something out. dunno

:undecided:
I'm doing some serious research into the laybys of the UK so if you know somewhere that fits the bill I'd love to hear by PM but FFS don't post locations on this thread or you'll get a great big (and justifiable) smack for infringing site rules. If you still do then you deserve to be deactivated :huh:
So what would constitute your perfect layby?
(And if you believe all that you surely don't know me or.............er.........um.........you know me well!)
wink

:rascal:

:whistling: :whistling:

27 Apr 2005

Tarmac...

27 Apr 2005

Why are they called LAYbys :shock:
lol

:lol: :lol:

27 Apr 2005

Perfect layby
Johnny Depp and Kylie serving in a free butty van, free gas and someone to tell me how good I look.

27 Apr 2005

Quote by cuddlyk
Why are they called LAYbys :shock:
:lol: :lol:

That's a trade secret! wink

:wink: :wink: :twisted:
And Voddy >>>>> kiss

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Vix
Perfect layby
Johnny Depp and Kylie serving in a free butty van, free gas and someone to tell me how good I look.

Vix, you look gorgeous now stop whining and come into my cab.
Johnny and Kylie have promised to hand deliver the rolls :twisted:

27 Apr 2005

Must be hard standing.

27 Apr 2005

Quote by the_Laird
Perfect layby
Johnny Depp and Kylie serving in a free butty van, free gas and someone to tell me how good I look.

Vix, you look gorgeous now stop whining and come into my cab.
Johnny and Kylie have promised to hand deliver the rolls :twisted:
Hmmm
*rubs chin*

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Vix
Perfect layby
Johnny Depp and Kylie serving in a free butty van, free gas and someone to tell me how good I look.

Vix, you look gorgeous now stop whining and come into my cab.
Johnny and Kylie have promised to hand deliver the rolls :twisted:
Hmmm
*rubs chin*
Run yer twit!
Cathy x

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Red(RHG)
Perfect layby
Johnny Depp and Kylie serving in a free butty van, free gas and someone to tell me how good I look.

Vix, you look gorgeous now stop whining and come into my cab.
Johnny and Kylie have promised to hand deliver the rolls :twisted:
Hmmm
*rubs chin*
Run yer twit!
Cathy x
Me? Or him?

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Vix
Perfect layby
Johnny Depp and Kylie serving in a free butty van, free gas and someone to tell me how good I look.

Vix, you look gorgeous now stop whining and come into my cab.
Johnny and Kylie have promised to hand deliver the rolls :twisted:
Hmmm
*rubs chin*
Run yer twit!
Cathy x
Me? Or him?
You....
Bit of a trot on here myself .....
chips, the laird, kylie and johnny, van - what else do ya need in life eh?
:twisted:
Cathy x

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Red(RHG)
You....
Bit of a trot on here myself .....
chips, the laird, kylie and johnny, van - what else do ya need in life eh?
:twisted:
Cathy x

OH! I thought you meant run away!
I geddit now. Please remember my hair colour.

27 Apr 2005

I'm going to read this thread in the morning, but vis. toilets, personally I hate the antiseptic smell of the public urinal and love getting the old boy out in the sunshine to water a bush. To the family's chagrin I step outside the kitchen door at home in pref to the facilities.
HM

27 Apr 2005

Quote by Vix
Run yer twit!
Cathy x

Me? Or him?
You....
Bit of a trot on here myself .....
chips, the laird, kylie and johnny, van - what else do ya need in life eh?
:twisted:
Cathy x
OH! I thought you meant run away!
I geddit now. Please remember my hair colour.
:twisted: I am ...............
'avn't got much to say on layby's really - still don't drive confused

Suppose some are nice, suppose some aren't, what happens in a layby? Do you just sit?
Cathy x
(Well I dunno)

27 Apr 2005

Seems to me Eager that you have found the perfect Layby, with all these lovely people to help you pass the time.
Now will Kylie bring Tomato sauce as well?
John
smile

27 Apr 2005

Quote by musketeer
I'm going to read this thread in the morning, but vis. toilets, personally I hate the antiseptic smell of the public urinal and love getting the old boy out in the sunshine to water a bush. To the family's chagrin I step outside the kitchen door at home in pref to the facilities.
HM

You should pee on the compost heap. Uric acid's good for the composting process.
Don't waste it. Recycle
wink

:twisted: !

27 Apr 2005

It should have less feckin traffic noise and better TV (ooo'er missus) reception than the one I'm in now on the A10 ! ! ! !
I hear what you say about being level. I always sleep with my head to the n/s. The amount of times I've had to get up, open my curtains and turn the fecker round ! ! !
Falling outta bed? DO flashy Mercs not have the "baby-catchers" that cheap nasty M.A.N's have? lol

Sleeping bag ???????????? FFS Es - get yerself a sheet and duvet.
SexySteph - One of the mot picturesque places I've stayed is a truckstop on the A74 near Crawford, Scotland. The beauty of the summer is sometimes I can park up in daylight, have an hour or so before bedding down, then get up at or just before sunrise.

27 Apr 2005

One that I can see while I manage to poke myself in the eye as i apply mascara.....

28 Apr 2005

Hi eargerslut9,
Have PM'd you and must say joke or not that serious aspects to lay by's should prove to be of great benefit to all.
Shad.

28 Apr 2005

ES
I thought you liked the layby's that had a local beer run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
I'm going to read this thread in the morning, but vis. toilets, personally I hate the antiseptic smell of the public urinal and love getting the old boy out in the sunshine to water a bush. To the family's chagrin I step outside the kitchen door at home in pref to the facilities.
HM

You should pee on the compost heap. Uric acid's good for the composting process.
Don't waste it. Recycle
wink

:twisted: !
Yeah but our compost is the muck heap where the horse detritus goes, if I stand on that for a pee I'll be arrested, it's right by the lane, it also sticks to your shoes!
Strictly entre nous my spell checker wants to change eagerslut9 to "eagerest", are you the eagerest?

28 Apr 2005

Quote by Eagerslut9
Well let's see.
1. be level ... ok, but slopes can be fun especially in easter
2. a butty van ...yes, but not to close to toilets, I don't want a crowd watcing me go to do my business
3. away from the main road screened by trees and bushes... yep
4. grass and trees and bushes to play in... a good tree for climbing is always fun, or lots of trees (should be evergreens for that all year round foliage) for hiding behind when playing hide & seek
5. picnic tables... for table-top dancing?
6. all night toilet... can be a bit on the chilly side at 1 or 2am!
7. nightlife. I'm an avid naturist... me too
Hmmmmmmmm, well.....................maybe I've missed something out. :undecided:
So what would constitute your perfect layby?

How about :
8. Free parking
9. Gift shop..well, mibies no a gift shop, but a paper and sweetie shop or all night garage for when you run out of wet wipes, near by.
10. It should have a couple of slightly more secluded parking bays, you know just in case you want to read your... newspaper, in private
11. A playpark but just for adults with swings and a chute
12. Ice cream van on hot days

28 Apr 2005

A good lay will buy, flowers. chocolate, dinner, hotel, you name it.