Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login

When is enough...?

last reply
26 replies
1.7k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Yesterday my wife was chatting with a guy on the chatroom, (one half of a couple). At first he was really nice and mentioned that they were tired of time wasters, so would my wife allow them to see our private pictures to make sure WE were a couple,. My wife did this and asked for their pictures in return...fair enough, right?.
He then said that the only way they could be sure was if my wife called and left a message. Gail once again asked him for the private album invite, but AGAIN he said they were tired of sending invites to timewasters...to call him and leave a message...At this stage Gail said that I would call him when I got home, but only if they allowed us to view their pictures....more excuses and more questions, etc, but no invite was ever sent..He had the nerve to say WE are not real, cause she would not leave a message on his mobile.
She sent him a text, but that was no good to him....
My question is ...are we too unreasonable?
Should she have just told him to get lost after his first refusal to see the pictures?
Any advice or opinions would be gladly received, thank you
Not in the least are you being unreasonable IMHO.
Too many odd-balls out there these days and still so many genuine ones to meet.
No, I think you were more than reasonable and fair.
This smells decidedly fishy to me. My guess being that he is not in a couple at all and just got off on your wifes attention. To be so evasive over something as simple as sending an album invite smacks of something not quite right.
Welcome anyway, not everyone is so demanding you'll be glad to hear.
Quote by Resonance
No, I think you were more than reasonable and fair.
This smells decidedly fishy to me. My guess being that he is not in a couple at all and just got off on your wifes attention. To be so evasive over something as simple as sending an album invite smacks of something not quite right.
Welcome anyway, not everyone is so demanding you'll be glad to hear.

but an invite to your private album wouldn't go amiss :rascal:
Quote by GnV
No, I think you were more than reasonable and fair.
This smells decidedly fishy to me. My guess being that he is not in a couple at all and just got off on your wifes attention. To be so evasive over something as simple as sending an album invite smacks of something not quite right.
Welcome anyway, not everyone is so demanding you'll be glad to hear.

but an invite to your private album wouldn't go amiss :rascal:
You got it...for being the first to reply!!!
As has probably been sai but here goes again. Yes, both sides have to exercise caution but on the other hand both must appear to be friendly and willing to take just a small risk as someone has to make the first move. It seems here that you were prepared to do all the correct things but they were prepared to give nothing. Only one polite answer.....bye bye.
Smooth2
Quote by Smooth2
As has probably been sai but here goes again. Yes, both sides have to exercise caution but on the other hand both must appear to be friendly and willing to take just a small risk as someone has to make the first move. It seems here that you were prepared to do all the correct things but they were prepared to give nothing. Only one polite answer.....bye bye.
Smooth2

And bye bye is what he got..
I hope you cancelled the invite to your gallery as well.
Quote by Sarah
I hope you cancelled the invite to your gallery as well.

Yes I did...I was not sure it would work by just deleting it, but that is what I did anyhow!
sounds like a timewasting pic collector to me this is why we switched to only playing at clubs
Quote by New2this-2009
No, I think you were more than reasonable and fair.
This smells decidedly fishy to me. My guess being that he is not in a couple at all and just got off on your wifes attention. To be so evasive over something as simple as sending an album invite smacks of something not quite right.
Welcome anyway, not everyone is so demanding you'll be glad to hear.

but an invite to your private album wouldn't go amiss :rascal:
You got it...for being the first to reply!!!
Ooooh thank you :thumbup:
ok this is from my experience,i take everyone who suddenly messages me or mails me witha pinch of salt.....ok i hear you say "his a bit paranoid" but maybe your right......but i carry on the banter as you would if the question leads onto sex or meeting or can we see you on cam or send me an invite to your private gallery face pic etc....i kindly suggest read my profile and im taking a break from it all at moment but feel free to say hi in chatroom etc i often have gotten remark after saying somthing like another time waster!!!
I think when i had first joined the site i had people making me run a mile to prove i am myself!!! in the hope taht i would meet! at one stage i was giving out pictures of myself phone number and emails!!! i had sent invite to private gallery and when i waited for a reply and a reciprocating invite to a private gallery a rude WHAT, WE DIDNT GET ANYTHING FROM YOU WHY YOU CONTACTING US!! i think it safe to say that they werent a couple i was even bullied at a stage as i had sent them a "colourful picture of me!!" as it was reuqetsed by the "wife" (big mistake dont do that!) that i ended up changing my screen name....im a tight arse it cost me a fiver heheheh and i had a extras pack too!!
ok i'll cut the story short i can go on for days about it.....i prefer just chatting to folks now, everyone and anyone if i find im inetersted in it would normally be after long chats and humourous and flrity banter in my head i would more then want to meet but hey play it cool just wait socials perhaps see what happen dont go into forum and chat with to do just that chat, banter make a friend or two not with a deadline to meet and get frustrated when it doesnt happen, i think you'll meet a freind but i doubt you'd meet a stranger!
ok so i hacked on a bit so sorry
We also learned this lesson very quickly. We had been swinging for a couple of years, (meeting people in clubs and dogging) before joining this site but joined because I (mrs) wanted to play on cam.
While playing one night, a "single girl" started chatting to us, telling us how "she" would like to meet us, etc. We gave her access to our private pics (although all the naughty ones are public anyway)!! We asked for the same in return ... She had no pics on her profile and told us that her cam was broken but she would be getting a new one soon. We arranged a date to see her on cam .... no show!! This went on and on, every time we were playing on cam, there she was ... whispering all the time and looking back, what she was saying seemed to be things that you would expect from a man. In the end we ignored her.
Another time we were fooled was by a single guy. I used to talk to him a lot in the chat rooms. His pics were lovely. One night he was drunk in the chatroom and I convinced him to go on cam .... to my surprise he was (to be polite) nothig like his young muscular pics!! If he had genuine pics on his profile, it would not have stoppped me chatting to him but I don't like people who are dishonest. I have never confronted him as I dont see the point but I try to not be in the same room.
There are a lot of genuine people on this site and we have met lots of people and had lots of fun but there are also a fair few who are not who they claim to be.
if you have god cause to think a couple is a single, a female is a mels etc then report them, its everyones duty to weed out the fakes.
he probally wanted you to leave a voice mail so he could join other adult sites as a couple by faking he was a female when having to leave a message on those sites to get verified.
no photos, no further chat, no accepting of bull shit excuses of , i dont have a camera, dont have a cam, cant buy a cam, cant work these computers very well, etc etc.
xx fem xx
Quote by fem_4_taboo
if you have god cause to think a couple is a single, a female is a mels etc then report them, its everyones duty to weed out the fakes.
he probally wanted you to leave a voice mail so he could join other adult sites as a couple by faking he was a female when having to leave a message on those sites to get verified.
no photos, no further chat, no accepting of bull shit excuses of , i dont have a camera, dont have a cam, cant buy a cam, cant work these computers very well, etc etc.
xx fem xx

That is a very good point, thanks..how do we report someone? Gail wouldn't do it, she is too nice and always believes there is good in everyone, but I really hate being taken for a ride.
Sort of related but dont you just love it when members normally single guys (sorry) Send you a pic with their message. They dont have any pictures on their profile and the one they send in the message is the size of a postage stamp rolleyes I have been tempted to send a reply back saying sorry we dont meet anyone that small lol
Quote by tweeky
Sort of related but dont you just love it when members normally single guys (sorry) Send you a pic with their message. They dont have any pictures on their profile and the one they send in the message is the size of a postage stamp rolleyes I have been tempted to send a reply back saying sorry we dont meet anyone that small lol

rotflmao
Quote by fem_4_taboo
if you have god cause to think a couple is a single, a female is a mels etc then report them, its everyones duty to weed out the fakes.
he probally wanted you to leave a voice mail so he could join other adult sites as a couple by faking he was a female when having to leave a message on those sites to get verified.
no photos, no further chat, no accepting of bull shit excuses of , i dont have a camera, dont have a cam, cant buy a cam, cant work these computers very well, etc etc.
xx fem xx

i remember once reporting a fake profile a while back i didnt even know you could even report it so i just mailed admin and they got rid of them and an message reply from admin saying good work......i felt like i had done my bit...sorta like a kid who had been told well done good job with a gold star!!!
only reason why i was adamant it was fake becuase of the picture posted wasnt sure how admin could of missed it it was a picture of Noemie Lenoir the M & S model....well i hope it was a fake or else if it was really her!!!whoops!......but how do prove a fake i mean you know they are but how do you prove they are (my example was pretty obvious)?
I don't think what this member did was really reportable new2 unless you've got evidence to prove that its a single guy actively misleading people, and how do you really really prove that? You did OK it seems to me in sussing ot out enough to satisfy yourselves that this was a jerk off situation. Like someone has alrready said the phone number exchange was a little early maybe?
Whoever says that finding good playmates is easy has got to be having a laugh. Sometimes its just so difficult to sift through the mud to get to the gold. When you do though it makes up for the crappola. Good luck guys and trust in those instincts of yours and once alarm bells start ringing reign back. If they're genuine then they will put the effort in to let you find out. :thumbup:
Quote by New2this-2009
No, I think you were more than reasonable and fair.
This smells decidedly fishy to me. My guess being that he is not in a couple at all and just got off on your wifes attention. To be so evasive over something as simple as sending an album invite smacks of something not quite right.
Welcome anyway, not everyone is so demanding you'll be glad to hear.

but an invite to your private album wouldn't go amiss :rascal:
You got it...for being the first to reply!!!
Always the bloomin bridesmaid me... GNV you lothario speed merchant! ;-)
Wise words from Losty here, while the person's behaviour may not have been fair, you'd need a tad more evidence than that to state they are fake in anyway I think. I don't know, maybe Admin can correct me on this. People act differently on here, some are charming and avuncular, others appear rude and brusque, but it doesn't mean they are fake. I agree it certainly sounds odd, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it is.
As for finding people, like others have said, I treat profiles and posts and chatroom behaviour with a pinch of salt. I think if you actively want to meet people, then the single best way without a doubt, is to get to a Munch or a social. It's much, much more difficult to mislead face to face and you have a far greater "click" factor with people so you'll know if you hit it off or not.
I think finding playmates can be easy. I think finding good playmates, who understand what you want, and you them, and tick all the right boxes, is a rare thing indeed.
You did the correct thing.
We always start with a picture exchange, we then chat more then pre-meet if possible before the real action starts.
But, no picture swop then we stop talking, simples...squeek
if his behaviour was as described i would still write to admi with my suspicions, that way im sure if this was to happen say 20 times they would start to get a idea hes a possible fake, all it soemtimes takes is an email questioning his behaviour from admin and he will probally disapear.
xx fem xx
Quote by Lost
I don't think what this member did was really reportable new2 unless you've got evidence to prove that its a single guy actively misleading people, and how do you really really prove that? You did OK it seems to me in sussing ot out enough to satisfy yourselves that this was a jerk off situation. Like someone has alrready said the phone number exchange was a little early maybe?
Whoever says that finding good playmates is easy has got to be having a laugh. Sometimes its just so difficult to sift through the mud to get to the gold. When you do though it makes up for the crappola. Good luck guys and trust in those instincts of yours and once alarm bells start ringing reign back. If they're genuine then they will put the effort in to let you find out. :thumbup:

That is the problem...how do you prove something like that...After reading some of the comments you guys made,I trie dto call the number he gave Gail and guess what???? no answer!!!
Quote by New2this-2009
if you have god cause to think a couple is a single, a female is a mels etc then report them, its everyones duty to weed out the fakes.
he probally wanted you to leave a voice mail so he could join other adult sites as a couple by faking he was a female when having to leave a message on those sites to get verified.
no photos, no further chat, no accepting of bull shit excuses of , i dont have a camera, dont have a cam, cant buy a cam, cant work these computers very well, etc etc.
xx fem xx

That is a very good point, thanks..how do we report someone? Gail wouldn't do it, she is too nice and always believes there is good in everyone, but I really hate being taken for a ride.
There is a report profile button on profiles - you could also send one of the Moderators a PM or message a Chat Op if an incident is in chat. But the report profile button works - and please do!
If they have broken the AUP or there does appear to be evidence of some sort of dubious stuff going on then we will do what we can to get it stopped.