Right all you swinging fun people out there. Any answers please
And not sure if its been done before but it is linked to swinging so ill ask .
A swinging newbie friend of mine (female) has met a guy off the ad section. all goes well meets up does the buisness in a club great night had a laugh /ect
but now after that night hes not answerd her texts emails pms and has completly ignored her
It has happend to me but ages ago and i wiser now but i still dident understand at the time.
.I meen are ads say everything about us so not trying to lie about ourselfs.
what you see is what you get .my friend said he had no ad number.
we tryed to come up with reasons why its happend i thought swinging was honest and i carnt see the point in lieing if she wasent for him thats fine . but why ignor
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
WHY
last reply
74 replies
3.3k views
6 watchers
0 likes
Coz he's a self centred predatory asshole. He's probably married, has two mobile phones and takes his wedding ring off when he goes out.
Need anymore reasons???
Your friend has learned the hard way but the damage this twat has done to her AND to the decent single guys in this lifestyle is incalculable. I just hope she chalks it down to experience and continues to keep an open mind about swinging and single men. They're not all like that.
Tell her to try the chat room where she can ask questions to any of us in there regarding any other guy that takes her fancy.. we'll be more than happy to verify them for her.
Need anymore reasons???
Your friend has learned the hard way but the damage this twat has done to her AND to the decent single guys in this lifestyle is incalculable. I just hope she chalks it down to experience and continues to keep an open mind about swinging and single men. They're not all like that.
Tell her to try the chat room where she can ask questions to any of us in there regarding any other guy that takes her fancy.. we'll be more than happy to verify them for her.
Sex God
Quote by debz4u
Right all you swinging fun people out there. Any answers please
And not sure if its been done before but it is linked to swinging so ill ask .
A swinging newbie friend of mine (female) has met a guy off the ad section. all goes well meets up does the buisness in a club great night had a laugh /ect
but now after that night hes not answerd her texts emails pms and has completly ignored her
It has happend to me but ages ago and i wiser now but i still dident understand at the time.
.I meen are ads say everything about us so not trying to lie about ourselfs.
what you see is what you get .my friend said he had no ad number.
we tryed to come up with reasons why its happend i thought swinging was honest and i carnt see the point in lieing if she wasent for him thats fine . but why ignor
it could be a lot of different reasons from the serious.. to the mundane... to the downright rude...
from the "just wanting to get leg over" to "thrill of the chase" to "doesn't want wife to find out"
i would just tell her to chalk it up as experience and move on... enjoy the good bits and swear never to do the bad bits again...
sean xxxxxxxxxx
sound like to me... where she was honest, he may well not have been.. got what he wanted and doesn't want to know...
Quote by debz4u
Right all you swinging fun people out there. Any answers please
And not sure if its been done before but it is linked to swinging so ill ask .
A swinging newbie friend of mine (female) has met a guy off the ad section. all goes well meets up does the buisness in a club great night had a laugh /ect
but now after that night hes not answerd her texts emails pms and has completly ignored her
It has happend to me but ages ago and i wiser now but i still dident understand at the time.
.I meen are ads say everything about us so not trying to lie about ourselfs.
what you see is what you get .my friend said he had no ad number.
we tryed to come up with reasons why its happend i thought swinging was honest and i carnt see the point in lieing if she wasent for him thats fine . but why ignor
I'd like a first meet :cry:
I also see the need to be civil and polite and not be ignorant.
After all, treat people as you would like to be treated.maybe he was simply a "notch" collector.
Sex God
or i could have just said what wishy did.... damn....
that is why i like the forums so to speak.. at least you can read up on people before you ever consider taking the next step... it is the likes of him that make it so much harder for us nice single guys.....
that is why i like the forums so to speak.. at least you can read up on people before you ever consider taking the next step... it is the likes of him that make it so much harder for us nice single guys.....
Sex God
Funnily enough I was only discussing this subject very recently. The upshot of that conversation was that everyone who meets single guys (whether they be male or female) often encounters those guys who do not return emails or calls afterwards even those the meet apparently went very well. I think this type of person wants a one-off and is not interested in further contact, they have had the excitement of fucking a stranger and that is the kick for them. They may be very nice at the meet, but it is part of a role they are playing. Yes, they should be honest and say they only want a one off, but it is a buzz for them and they have moved on.... that's what you should do too.....
This happens A LOT. When meeting strangers don't be under any illusions that this probably won't be anything more than a one off.
In fact, when I used to meet a lot of strangers off the net I only usually wanted one offs, or two-offs if they were good. I got annoyed if they emailed or contacted me afterwards, though sometimes I did email back the once out of politeness if I was in a good mood. OK, I'm a git but I'm sure they got over it.
This happens A LOT. When meeting strangers don't be under any illusions that this probably won't be anything more than a one off.
In fact, when I used to meet a lot of strangers off the net I only usually wanted one offs, or two-offs if they were good. I got annoyed if they emailed or contacted me afterwards, though sometimes I did email back the once out of politeness if I was in a good mood. OK, I'm a git but I'm sure they got over it.
Sex God
Sounds like he was just after a shag, no strings.
One thought - how did she meet him off the ads if he had no ad number? Did he contact her through her ad?
One thought - how did she meet him off the ads if he had no ad number? Did he contact her through her ad?
when people say no strings fun a lot of people take that as just a shag, not everyone wants to make friends and stay in touch, some just like to meet have sex then move on to the next person, resons? well could be they married, could be they feel they may get to close to someone if they meet them regular....who knows
But theres nothing that says in swinging u have to be friends and stay in touch after u have played thats down to what u want to do.
We had a couple come out to our house many moons ago and we invited them in asked them if they wanted a drink and the guy looked str8 at us and said....we havn't come here to chat we have come for sex and started walking up the stairs, well after stopping him we asked him to leave which they did but not b4 he added...we don't want to make friends, we have friends we swing for sex not friendship
and i suppose some do have that attitude its each to their own really.
But theres nothing that says in swinging u have to be friends and stay in touch after u have played thats down to what u want to do.
We had a couple come out to our house many moons ago and we invited them in asked them if they wanted a drink and the guy looked str8 at us and said....we havn't come here to chat we have come for sex and started walking up the stairs, well after stopping him we asked him to leave which they did but not b4 he added...we don't want to make friends, we have friends we swing for sex not friendship
and i suppose some do have that attitude its each to their own really.
Sex God
Quote by debz4u
Thats very true fabio.
but my ignorer is still a member on here im not telling tales
he still postson here sometime and has an ad up with a femas well .
all i can say about him is untyperble lol if thats a word i have moved on it did knock my confidence at the time but hay thats life .
absolutly.. in the end it boils down to being a confidence issue...
I have had a whole lot more knockbacks on here than i have had success.... but i have met so many nice people along the way that the good easily outweighs the bad...
I am now of the opinion that in the end "whatever doesn't kill me will only make me stronger"
if people like me then good and i am glad to get to know them... if not then such is life and you are missing out on a bloody good person....
people will always be there for there own motives... it is just making sure that you don't get dragged down to their level.....
sean xxxxxxxxx
I was chatting to the friend that happened to, the other night, purely by chance , and she definitly did all the right things before meeting him..
I reckon wsihmaster got it , wedding ring etc.. or maybe he was just a complete shit..
A lot of men will lie through the back teeth, to get what they want,(not neccessarily sex, just anything) and then pretend like it never happened , I know , I have a few ex friends , who broke my trust.. and i could never forgive them for it..but the penis rules brain is a common trait in most men too..
Hopefully she'll put it down to experience.. and not let it put her off.. We are not all like that, and i guess some women have similar triats too.. I don't know her well at all, but my advice to her , as she seems a smart cookie, was If the alarm bells ring in your head for any reason , then there is probably a good reason for them going off..
Be aware and listen to your head , as most men can be easily found out!! we're none of us that bright , when it comes to carnal pleasures!!
I reckon wsihmaster got it , wedding ring etc.. or maybe he was just a complete shit..
A lot of men will lie through the back teeth, to get what they want,(not neccessarily sex, just anything) and then pretend like it never happened , I know , I have a few ex friends , who broke my trust.. and i could never forgive them for it..but the penis rules brain is a common trait in most men too..
Hopefully she'll put it down to experience.. and not let it put her off.. We are not all like that, and i guess some women have similar triats too.. I don't know her well at all, but my advice to her , as she seems a smart cookie, was If the alarm bells ring in your head for any reason , then there is probably a good reason for them going off..
Be aware and listen to your head , as most men can be easily found out!! we're none of us that bright , when it comes to carnal pleasures!!
Sexpert
Debz, all I can say has been said above; he's most likely married and gets his kicks from the thrill of the 'chase' and conquest rather than just the sex.
From a single male point of view, there are an awful lot of couples out there that do the same - one or two meets and no more. I suppose sheer numbers allow them to get away with that, but I can count on the fingers of one hand, those who were honest at the outset and said they just wanted a one-off. I don't have a problem with that type of meeting at all, but it can dent your confidence a bit when you're not sure if that's the reason for sudden silence, especially when it happens for the 2nd or 3rd time !!
I'm now at the stage of being pleasantly surprised when that's not the case
:D
I am of course ignoring the possibility that maybe I'm just a crap shag !
Ant.
p.s. I wouldn't be offended if you passed my name onto your friend !!
From a single male point of view, there are an awful lot of couples out there that do the same - one or two meets and no more. I suppose sheer numbers allow them to get away with that, but I can count on the fingers of one hand, those who were honest at the outset and said they just wanted a one-off. I don't have a problem with that type of meeting at all, but it can dent your confidence a bit when you're not sure if that's the reason for sudden silence, especially when it happens for the 2nd or 3rd time !!
I'm now at the stage of being pleasantly surprised when that's not the case
:D I am of course ignoring the possibility that maybe I'm just a crap shag !
Ant.
p.s. I wouldn't be offended if you passed my name onto your friend !!
Quote by bluexxx
everyone who meets single guys (whether they be male or female) often encounters those guys who do not return emails or calls afterwards even those the meet apparently went very well. I think this type of person wants a one-off and is not interested in further contact, they have had the excitement of fucking a stranger and that is the kick for them.
You know, getting out of the swinging arena here (and hence into an arena I can talk about from actual experience), this is #2 on the list of things that really piss me off. I mean, I've nothing against casual sex, but if that's all it is then people shouldn't dress it up with expressions of undying love. (For real!) I tend to hear such things and get confused, y'know? And ladies, if you wake up the next morning and it's all being a horrible mistake, then picking up the phone when it rings and saying "hi, look I'm sorry, I might have got a wee bit carried away last night..." is the absolute best way of handling it. Blame it on the beer if it makes it more credible. Much better than just letting me keep ringing and ringing and not picking up.
Only the person who did that knows the reasons. All the rest is pointless speculation. How easy it is to say "what an arsehole, I'm much better than that". Clearly in this kind of scene, that sort of thing will happen - probably a lot. Comes with the territory. Oh, and it's disappointing to read "men are bastards" kind of stuff on here - would have hoped for something a little more enlightened. Both men and women behave badly sometimes - can we at least agree on that? And both often behave well.
Sex God
Quote by debz4u
Right all you swinging fun people out there. Any answers please
And not sure if its been done before but it is linked to swinging so ill ask .
A swinging newbie friend of mine (female) has met a guy off the ad section. all goes well meets up does the buisness in a club great night had a laugh /ect
but now after that night hes not answerd her texts emails pms and has completly ignored her
It has happend to me but ages ago and i wiser now but i still dident understand at the time.
.I meen are ads say everything about us so not trying to lie about ourselfs.
what you see is what you get .my friend said he had no ad number.
we tryed to come up with reasons why its happend i thought swinging was honest and i carnt see the point in lieing if she wasent for him thats fine . but why ignor
What you haven't told us is whether she made it clear she was looking for more than a one off, or whether he made it clear that's all he wanted. If they didn't establish between themselves exactly what they wanted/expected, then that's down to the pair of them. Too many people make assumptions about what a meet actually means without discussing it.
Of course, if someone IS just looking for one-nighters and chooses not to reveal that fact, then there's not a lot you can do without a lie detector, which is why you'll find most experienced swingers who have learned the hard way will take the time to get to know a person before even thinking about any rumpy pumpy.
To be brutally honest, if she's met this guy and "done the business" as you put it, on the basis of a reply to an ad and nothing else, she really hasn't much cause to complain unless he actually made promises that he didn't keep, and sorry to be blunt, but a shag in a club isn't a promise of eternal devotion.
Warming the Bed
debz im a newbie can i pm you i dont know the protocol sorry
Sex God
Quote by roger743
I've nothing against casual sex, but if that's all it is then people shouldn't dress it up with expressions of undying love. (For real!) I tend to hear such things and get confused, y'know? And ladies, if you wake up the next morning and it's all being a horrible mistake, then picking up the phone when it rings and saying "hi, look I'm sorry, I might have got a wee bit carried away last night..." is the absolute best way of handling it. Blame it on the beer if it makes it more credible. Much better than just letting me keep ringing and ringing and not picking up.
That's true I guess, but I think some people do delude themselves that they are going to find true love or at least a close friendship by shagging people off internet swinging sites. I'm not saying it never happens, cos obviously it does, and I'm not saying that Debs friend is upset now cos she was looking for a "bond" or whatever. All I'm saying is that it is best to treat an internet fuck as a one-off, nothing more.
Yep, it's bad form if people lie to get a shag, but if they indicate nothing more than wanting NSA then they have done not much wrong if they do not want to continue the contact afterwards. In my experience, when I was advertising and meeting regularly, I made it clear in my ad that it was NSA..... thus not my problem if the guys thought there was a regular fuck in it for them and I really didn't waste my time explaining the facts to them afterwards. In fact, as I kicked one bloke out I would be back on the PC looking for the next. The thrill of the chase was a big thing for me then. As I said, I was a git... But I'm not any more.... yeah right
:lol: :lol: Sex God
Quote by lingy
Only the person who did that knows the reasons. All the rest is pointless speculation. How easy it is to say "what an arsehole, I'm much better than that". Clearly in this kind of scene, that sort of thing will happen - probably a lot. Comes with the territory. Oh, and it's disappointing to read "men are bastards" kind of stuff on here - would have hoped for something a little more enlightened. Both men and women behave badly sometimes - can we at least agree on that? And both often behave well.
Yes, you're right about it probably happening a lot and that it 'comes with the territory'.I think the people who have said 'what an arsehole, I'm much better than that' probably are. Also agree with you that both men and women behave badly. However, the single men behaving badly may be proportionately higher in here because there are proportionately more of them than single females.
Please don't think I have anything against single men, by the way - there are many many lovely single men on here.
Sex God
Quote by Ice Pie
Right all you swinging fun people out there. Any answers please
And not sure if its been done before but it is linked to swinging so ill ask .
A swinging newbie friend of mine (female) has met a guy off the ad section. all goes well meets up does the buisness in a club great night had a laugh /ect
but now after that night hes not answerd her texts emails pms and has completly ignored her
It has happend to me but ages ago and i wiser now but i still dident understand at the time.
.I meen are ads say everything about us so not trying to lie about ourselfs.
what you see is what you get .my friend said he had no ad number.
we tryed to come up with reasons why its happend i thought swinging was honest and i carnt see the point in lieing if she wasent for him thats fine . but why ignor
What you haven't told us is whether she made it clear she was looking for more than a one off, or whether he made it clear that's all he wanted. If they didn't establish between themselves exactly what they wanted/expected, then that's down to the pair of them. Too many people make assumptions about what a meet actually means without discussing it.
Of course, if someone IS just looking for one-nighters and chooses not to reveal that fact, then there's not a lot you can do without a lie detector, which is why you'll find most experienced swingers who have learned the hard way will take the time to get to know a person before even thinking about any rumpy pumpy.
To be brutally honest, if she's met this guy and "done the business" as you put it, on the basis of a reply to an ad and nothing else, she really hasn't much cause to complain unless he actually made promises that he didn't keep, and sorry to be blunt, but a shag in a club isn't a promise of eternal devotion.
What he said
Sexpert
Quote by roger743
And ladies, if you wake up the next morning and it's all being a horrible mistake, then picking up the phone when it rings and saying "hi, look I'm sorry, I might have got a wee bit carried away last night..." is the absolute best way of handling it. Blame it on the beer if it makes it more credible. Much better than just letting me keep ringing and ringing and not picking up.
Absolutely!! This happened to me last year (not someone from here, I was on a course from work with a woman from a distant department - and it was gin not beer
) and I reckon she regretted events but didn't say, perhaps because she picked ME up.A bit of digging found she had a b/f so it's understandable but I wish she'd have just said something the next morning.. And I still wish he'd bugger off, whoever he is,
'cos she was good fun to be with.Ant.
Sex God
Quote by antwest99
And ladies, if you wake up the next morning and it's all being a horrible mistake, then picking up the phone when it rings and saying "hi, look I'm sorry, I might have got a wee bit carried away last night..." is the absolute best way of handling it. Blame it on the beer if it makes it more credible. Much better than just letting me keep ringing and ringing and not picking up.
Absolutely!! This happened to me last year (not someone from here, I was on a course from work with a woman from a distant department - and it was gin not beer
) and I reckon she regretted events but didn't say, perhaps because she picked ME up.A bit of digging found she had a b/f so it's understandable but I wish she'd have just said something the next morning.. And I still wish he'd bugger off, whoever he is,
'cos she was good fun to be with.Ant.
So ditching the SIM card and getting another one is not a good way to handle situations like this then?
Ooops
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Sex God
Quote by debz4u
Right all you swinging fun people out there. Any answers please
And not sure if its been done before but it is linked to swinging so ill ask .
A swinging newbie friend of mine (female) has met a guy off the ad section. all goes well meets up does the buisness in a club great night had a laugh /ect
but now after that night hes not answerd her texts emails pms and has completly ignored her
It has happend to me but ages ago and i wiser now but i still dident understand at the time.
.I meen are ads say everything about us so not trying to lie about ourselfs.
what you see is what you get .my friend said he had no ad number.
we tryed to come up with reasons why its happend i thought swinging was honest and i carnt see the point in lieing if she wasent for him thats fine . but why ignor
Can I just ask a couple of questions, when they agreed to meet was it just for the one meet, or was it to be a regular thing if they got on, as shag buddys
and did he say ty for a great night when they parted company.
Because if it was just for a one off meet then thats what she got.
If not then hes been an ass and should at least reply, one way or another.
And saying ty at the end of the night is common curtesy on both sides
Quote by antwest99
From a single male point of view, there are an awful lot of couples out there that do the same - one or two meets and no more. I suppose sheer numbers allow them to get away with that,
We only play at clubs and have never used the ads system but...
The thing to bear in mind is that lots of people on the scene are interested primarily in meeting new people. Swinging is not a dating agency and we always assume that a play is a one off until it's proved otherwise. We have couples that we love to play with again and again but if we only ever played with people who wanted repeats we would never meet anyone new. We also have very good friends that we hardly, if ever, play with any more but socialise with all the time.
As a single guy, if you get 2 or 3 meets out of 1 couple you are quite possibly doing very well, especially if you meet via the ads rather than a club. We will do repeats with singles but they have to be very good because there are so many out there that we can pick and choose. It is, unfortunately, not a fair world and single guys outnumber couples considerably. However, we would never suggest that it was anything more than a one-off nsa when we first play and repeats and friendship are a bonus.
Quote by bluexxx
I've nothing against casual sex, but if that's all it is then people shouldn't dress it up with expressions of undying love. (For real!) I tend to hear such things and get confused, y'know? And ladies, if you wake up the next morning and it's all being a horrible mistake, then picking up the phone when it rings and saying "hi, look I'm sorry, I might have got a wee bit carried away last night..." is the absolute best way of handling it. Blame it on the beer if it makes it more credible. Much better than just letting me keep ringing and ringing and not picking up.
That's true I guess, but I think some people do delude themselves that they are going to find true love or at least a close friendship by shagging people off internet swinging sites. I'm not saying it never happens, cos obviously it does, and I'm not saying that Debs friend is upset now cos she was looking for a "bond" or whatever. All I'm saying is that it is best to treat an internet fuck as a one-off, nothing more.
Yep, it's bad form if people lie to get a shag, but if they indicate nothing more than wanting NSA then they have done not much wrong if they do not want to continue the contact afterwards. In my experience, when I was advertising and meeting regularly, I made it clear in my ad that it was NSA..... thus not my problem if the guys thought there was a regular fuck in it for them and I really didn't waste my time explaining the facts to them afterwards. In fact, as I kicked one bloke out I would be back on the PC looking for the next. The thrill of the chase was a big thing for me then. As I said, I was a git... But I'm not any more.... yeah right
:lol: :lol
ut it better than i could blue, nice one, :thumbup: This is how we both regard our swinging.
You sound just like hornyred here blue :shock: :shock:
:? 
