Quote by bi_curious_man123
Hi LC.
I've been asked to take your name off the list for the after munch party.
I'm really sorry to have to tell you like this, but there's never an easy way.
Will buy you a pint at the munch to try to make it up to you.
Marcuso
I was surpried by this coming out of the blue like that and wondered if it had anything to do with the post munch party I had attended in the NE (as it turned out I was correct in assuming this, as you shall see). I responded with a request:
Quote by Lovecommando
Dear Marcuso
Is there a particular reason for this? I understand this might be awkward for you to give the reason. Have I offended anyone for example?
Regards
LC
Marcuso's reply is as follows:
Quote by bi_curious_man123
I can't really give you a reason as it would betray the trust of the people that have asked me to take you off the list, but hope you enjoy the munch anyway
Marcuso
Now at this point my mind went into paranoid overdrive. Who were these people (or person) who did not wish me to be at the party? Above all, what had I done that had made them decide they did not require my presence? Was this anything to do with the party I had attended in the NE? Or was it nothing to do with that, was it do do with some grudge someone held against me? I really couldn't figure it out! If it was anything to do with the NE party then I had no idea. The party had gone well, except for the fact that I lost my moblie phone somewhere and couldn't figure out where or when it had gone missing (ok, I'd had a few drinks). The following day I left, said farewell to everyone and I believed all were on good terms. So it couldn't be anything to do with those people who had attended, could it? So what and who the hell was it?
Then I began to think that others would wonder why I had been dropped from the list. That I would have no reasonable excuse to offer them. Then the thought that others would find out the reasons, yet I would have no knowledge of what was being said behind my back. And if people did not find out the reasons then they would start to speculate. It occurred to me that I may not get invited to other parties because of what was being said about me or because of what I had supposedly done! I needed to know the answers and wrote back to Marcuso.
Quote by Lovecommando
Dear Marcuso
Well I am most upset at this turn of events. I really feel I should be given a reason as I have no way of defending myself. I guess you will not disclose who has had me removed from the list but I feel they should face me and try to sort out whatever issues they have instead of behaving in this underhand way. I'm sure you'll understand why I feel this way.
Regards
LC
The following day Marcuso wrote back to me with a fuller explanation. Here is the denouement:
Quote by bi_curious_man123
Hi LC
Sorry you are upset at the way things have turned out.....Maybe I could have worded the original message a little me try again.........I have now spoken to a few people who were at the party. Some mentioned that most joined in with the conversations and messing around etc except for you. It was also mentioned that there was concern that you didn't bring any alcohol with you, or contribute in any way.
In the PM I sent out about the party it was stated that it would be a bring-a-bottle party. As the party was being held at the house of a single parent who is also a student, I'm sure you will agree that there should have been some contributions by everyone.
I have the final say over who comes to the party and if you feel that you should fall out with anyone then that person should be me.I sincerely hope you won't fall out with me, as I hate the thought of anyone falling out, but I feel that this time, it's better that you don't come to the party.
I hope you take this in the way it's meant. And the offer of buying you a pint at the munch still stands.
Take care
Marcuso
Well at last I had the reasons and it was something of a relief to know that I had not committed some kind of swinging faux pas. I wrote several PMs back to Marcuso, covering the points raised which I shall give here.
Firstly, I did 'bring a bottle' to the party in the form of a bottle of Los Clavels white wine which I bought at M&S. I recall handing it to the party hostess and we had some problem getting it into the fridge as it was very full. Taking drink to parties is a given and I don't need reminders by PM to do this. I always take drink with me to parties let it be known.
As it happens I believe that the bottle of Los Clavells was not opened at the party and remained in the fridge. I did not check on the day I left, but if it was still in the fridge I left it there with the intention that the party hosts would enjoy it on another occasion.
Secondly, as regards not contributing '"in any way". Not sure what is meant here? Let me say this though. I am generally a quiet and shy person, not always, but often. I'm an introvert by nature and I tend not to 'join in' if I don't feel like it. I find a room full of people intimidating sometimes and tend to sit quietly and let others get on with it. Yes, maybe I had been a bit subdued, unlike others. The fact that I had lost my mobile phone preoccupied my mind and certainly put me in a down mood. Nevertheless I did join in with the conversations with the people I knew who were there.
I think it is unfair to judge anyone on the basis that they did not join in with party games or whatever. I believe that in swinging circles or at any other party for that matter it is a given that there is 'no obligation to play'. I feel this issue is the most hurtful as I feel that I have been unfairly judged on my personality and purely on the basis of one evening. I will not pretend to be something or someone just because it is expected of me. I am who I am and I expect people to respect that, as I respect others for the same reasons. It's not too much to ask, is it? I was given to believe that the mood here at SH one one of acceptance of peoples differences, no matter what they are, as long as you respect other people for who they are then you can expect the same. For the most part, the people here are in accordance with that belief and this is what gives this site its strength. If you cannot do this, then I ask, why are you here?
Finally the reasons I have gone public with these issues is so that my voice is heard. If people are spreading rumours about me that I don't 'contribute' at parties 'in any way', then these are totaly unfounded and predjudiced accusations. I have no idea if these slurs on my character were going to go no further than those involved. However I cannot take that chance and I that is why feel I must address these issues publicly.
LC
I had absolutely no problem with you in any way, and I would gladly let you stay over for Satin's party if you would like to stay. If there had been any problem with your behaviour at all at my party I would not offer this again. 
:? :? :?
:lol: 
hi lc