Why, why, why???

4 Oct 2004

Do we find it so difficult to meet up with couples from this site. Single guys - no probs - a few very sucessful meets. Couples? I am beginning to lose interest. We have been trying on here for months to meet similar couples - put up ads, answered ads. Sometimes no response to ad we contacted. Sometimes, we even get to the stage of exchanging telephone numbers then, strangely enough one of the parties (usually fem) is not around to chat. We have yet to meet one couple in all the time we have been trying. Got to the stage a couple of weeks ago where a meet was arranged and cancelled by them due to illness. Usually, its not got to the phone call stage. We are experienced swingers so expect early telephone contact to eliminate timewasters but this is getting ridiculous. Arranged to call one couple tonight at a certain time. No answer. Straight through to voicemail. I would like to ask a question - you couples on here searching for couples, what percentage of contacts actually turn into meets? I mean, we are an attractive, genuine couple, up front in what we are looking for and so far ZILCH success on the couples front. What are we doing wrong?

4 Oct 2004

well its worse than a needle in a haystack so much shit and time wasters and train spotters on the net who far more instrested in slateing some one with there negative views (yes you lot i have nt done with you lot yet lol) see my posting dead in the water to see what i have about too good replys but that should tell you about some of the people that are on here. but thats not everyone.

4 Oct 2004

For what it's worth Redbird
It aint just you
:cry: :cry:

4 Oct 2004

Well I am still waiting for the money I spent on a hotel room for a meeting with a couple that they canceled just as I was about to leave the house.... And this is a couple who I have met before and consider to be very nice people. (BTW I am not being wierd, they offered to pay me back)
The basic reason for failure or false start is because with a couple you have two people with differing interests... and you have to please both of them... plus a couple can dissagree or fall out with each other... individuals only have this problem if they suffer from multiple personality disorder.
I think the fact that it IS two people and not one is the source of most problems.

4 Oct 2004

Quote by sexyblokelondon
well its worse than a needle in a haystack so much shit and time wasters and train spotters on the net who far more instrested in slateing some one with there negative views (yes you lot i have nt done with you lot yet lol) see my posting dead in the water to see what i have about too good replys but that should tell you about some of the people that are on here. but thats not everyone.

FFS!! are you still here??? mad

:x :x
I don't know why you bother - you don't have one good word to say about the site or the people that use it and just spend all your time bleating on about how crap it is here. rolleyes

:roll: :roll: :roll:

4 Oct 2004

Surely you cant be suggesting that sexyblokelondon has been devoid of sexual activity gained from this site Sarge??
Steve now sits and waits for Sarge to say yes and dont call me surely
lol

:lol:

4 Oct 2004

Yes, and don't call me Surely !!!! wink

4 Oct 2004

Hi redbird.. we know what you mean. We've only met up with one other couple so far.. some ask to seee us on cam to prove we are a couple.. but then won't put the cam on themselves.. and then others are up for a meet but it has to be 'right here, right now' which we can't alwasy do.. (babysitters aren't that easy to come by).. we like to have early confirmation of them being genuine.. but like to plan ahead for the meet.. and this doesn't suit most.... thinking of removing our ad.. then posting on meet for any last minute offers when we know we are definately free. sad

4 Oct 2004

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Yes, and don't call me Surely !!!!

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

4 Oct 2004

Quote by EnglishChris99
I think the fact that it IS two people and not one is the source of most problems.

Valid point there Chris.....
As Steve said Red you are not alone.... It's the same for us too, and when time is precious and babysitters scarce (well bloody impossible in our case) then it is a fustrating experience.....
Hang on in there hun kiss

Shireen
xxx

5 Oct 2004

WHY WHY WHY ... isnt the next word Delilah!!!!!!!!!
Sorry to be flippant Redbird ..
.I am amazed that you have troubles with making contacts although I can see why you may get a lot of guys pretending to be couples just to get a glimpse of your wonderful figure. I guess its like most things in life ...you get nothing for nothing and unfortunately you have to put the time and effort in to reap the rewards and yes I know how frustrating that must be ...Its such a shame as I am sure there are a lot of genuine couples on here..the problems of vetting the genuine form the time waster has been discussed before and raises more questions than answers .. All I can say is good luck for the future smile

5 Oct 2004

blue and i have had similar problems with couples so much so we gave up on them for a while.
maybe we should meet :twisted:

5 Oct 2004

To be honest weve had no probs,weve got quite a few couples we could meet tomorrow but what with babysitters and lack of a cash flow it can be difficult.I think youve just gotta get to know peeps a bit first,theyre not all bad,really!!

5 Oct 2004

Quote by Redbird
Do we find it so difficult to meet up with couples from this site.

Through chance encounters at clubs and munches we have met many couples that use internet chatrooms. We are sure that many of the couples on swinging sites are genuine people and often the problem of actually arranging a meet comes from the difficulty of coinciding free time. It once took us 4 months to sort out a trip to Chameleons with 3 other couples and we all knew each other very well.
The problem isn't this site as such but the internet in general. It attracts people who have a vague interest in the swinging scene and are able to dream from the safety of their keyboards. Some eventually turn dreams into reality but many are satisfied with fantasising. An advert helps them believe that a real experience is almost possible. The problem occurs when a real meet is suggested. At this point their bluff is called, and in some cases the lack of the female half of the couple becames a problem, so avoiding tactics come into play ranging from excuses to disappearance.
We never advertise for meets, or answer adverts, preferring to use the club scene for meeting and playing. However, we have arranged meets that have succeeded via chatrooms. We tell couples that are interested which club we will be at and if they arrive we take it from there. We never expect them to turn up and probably 90% of couples that have said they would see us at a club never arrive, but nothing has been lost because we were going to the club anyway. (The other 10%... lol

...you know who you are. )
We feel fortunate in that we live in a city that is so well served by clubs. If we had to rely on adverts and chatrooms for meets I'm not sure we would be swinging as regularly as we are now. Maybe the old contact magazines still have a place on the scene since it possibly takes more commitment to write a letter and actually post it than to place an ad on the internet.
Ric and Jax

5 Oct 2004

Quote by northwest-cpl
We never advertise for meets, or answer adverts, preferring to use the club scene for meeting and playing. However, we have arranged meets that have succeeded via chatrooms. We tell couples that are interested which club we will be at and if they arrive we take it from there. We never expect them to turn up and probably 90% of couples that have said they would see us at a club never arrive, but nothing has been lost because we were going to the club anyway. (The other 10%... ...you know who you are. )

i agree, we started out with an advert and very quickly got very disillusioned by having one. Now we prefer to visit the clubs and/or invite someone we've got to know from the forums.
If people want to join us then we are more than happy to have them :twisted: if not then fine we were at the club having fun anyway.

5 Oct 2004

Redbird~
Vix & I didn't get the first reply to our "seeking couples" ad until 2 months after we'd first placed it. It took even longer for the first single female to reply. Probably 98% of what we get are from single males.
The first couple was an interesting one, though. First of all, we state in our ad that a photo is required, and they said they were unable to provide one. We were adamant about this, but they were persistent - saying that, if we could just meet in a neutral place, we wouldn't even have to talk to them if we weren't interested. They sent several further e-mail, each one telling a little more about themselves. They said they were quite a bit older than ourselves - late 40s - and went on to describe their likes & dislikes, their politics, their eccentricities, even how they'd argued about going out and buying a digicam...and, slowly but surely, we became intrigued.
We finally relented and invited them to our annual village quiz. Even though it was late notice - about 2 hours before the quiz was to start - they agreed to make the hour's drive to meet us. They turned out to be a lovely, middle-class couple who took very good care of themselves. We took them home that evening and, ultimately, to bed (Vix' & my first foursome experience!)! We've had two further "dates" since then - the second one being purely social - and, despite a bit of "crisis on conscience" that they suffered during the third, we're still in touch. Who knows?
I guess it pays to "relax the rules" every now and again, depending upon the situation. Since their reply, we've had ad responses from six other couples. There's one that I'm extremely keen on, but they're in faraway London. sad

For us, it's just been a matter of patience and experimentally re-writing our ad every now and again. It's difficult to know how to word things to appeal to those you're looking for, and we don't want to change our photos because we want to be sure that our respondents know exactly what they'll be getting (as horrific as that may be!). Most recently, we've added wine, conversation, cuddling & Scrabble to our sexual repertoire! Will just have to wait and see if that's a "draw" for anyone.
Best of luck...
~Reese! surprised

5 Oct 2004

I do realise that the problem does not lie with this site, rather, with some of the people who use this site. I must admit that my patience is wearing thin. I can't understand why people do it. We both get incredibly frustrated by the whole process. You see a nice advert, you reply with as much info as possible, including photos of us and a phone number and then in fizzles out. Also, we get very few replies to our own ad, and then the people who do reply have not read our ad properly. I suppose many of you would just say "give it a rest for a bit". BUT we do get incredibly horny and after a while the process starts all over again rolleyes

Thanks for your support - I'm glad to hear we are not the only ones with this experience.

5 Oct 2004

We have also had the same problems, lots of people out there but both having to agree you all like each other, arrange sitters and arrange a middle place to place if distance is involved. We have swapped pics with lots of people and oftened cammed but then nothing comes of it. We have been on the site for about a year now, like you single blokes no probs, but only met one couple, as for single females we give up on that one. At the end of the day we are happy to make friends with people and are in no rush. Good things come to those who wait!!!
F

5 Oct 2004

We had loads of replies from our couples ad. "ok, we're really lucky" we thought. How many of those replies turned into meets??? One. and it was CRAP! the next meet we had was also a load of pants. So we took ourselves along to a party, met loads of people and had a great time :twisted: we've met the couple again since as well, and consider them friends. We've also got ideas about another couple as well who were at the same party. :twisted:
The moral of the story?? Parties are better than ads, purely because you can work out who's genuine face to face!
Oh, and we've had no replies from our seeking women ad EVER!! :cry:

5 Oct 2004

As you can all see, Satin and I are running two ads at the mo, one for guys and one for couples. We get loads of interest from the singles, but very few replies from couples. When I get a reply from a couple, to be honest, I never expect to meet them! Sometimes it is our fault cos some people want a meet at a certain time and date and as we have a small child we cannot just drop everything to meet someone, we have to arrange it first. I know some people don't like this cos it is not spontaneous, but that's just the way it is unfortunately. The only meets I've had with couples in the last couple of years as either been through clubs or my party (and I'm not sure either or those count in this instance?). As there are lots of couples on the forum and some from my neck of the woods, I'm not sure why more of us don't meet up privately????? I'm up for it if you lot are!!!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

5 Oct 2004

Actually, seeing what Blue's written about living close to people from here, we only really want to meet people who are close to us, purely because we can only travel and not accomodate. Also, Daz is on shift work and has his kids on the weekends he's not working, so most of our meets need to be on a friday night unless we have notice. This makes it difficult for us to get far for a meet cos of having to be back for the saturday afternoon! This is quite a big contributor to our lack of meets i think.

5 Oct 2004

Redbird,
I sympathise.... but then as a single male who isn't solely interested in collecting pics, or getting a buzz out of pretending that I want to meet someone..... I would because of course there are plenty of us guys who when we do get a response, often find it does not lead to a meeting.
As others have said, when dealing with couples it involves two people being of the same mind, so we all suffer from that problem. With single males of course, the market of single women & couples looking for some fun is vastly over-supplied, with many time wasters, but that's a different problem.
If you can think of a solution, bottle it & you will make your fortune. (While you're about, try & sort out world peace, famine, etc etc as well)
rolleyes

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

5 Oct 2004

we have the same prob as Blue/Satin and DazandLou we have kids and only "play" Friday and Saturday nights as its most convinent for us. Some people expect you to drop eveything there and then, needless to say we never meet them, we like to chat to people abit first too.
F

5 Oct 2004

Hi Neil and Fiona. I would like to chat to people a bit first if I can only get them on the phone! lol

5 Oct 2004

Quote by nealfiona
we have the same prob as Blue/Satin and DazandLou we have kids and only "play" Friday and Saturday nights as its most convinent for us. Some people expect you to drop eveything there and then, needless to say we never meet them, we like to chat to people abit first too.
F

Yep similar reasons here ... we like to get rid of the children completely rather than just babysitters and it's getting increasingly difficult to justify to parents why we suddenly need overnight babysitters so much.
I have a massive distrust in men and do like to get to know them better first, so chat is important to me .. however, having said that there aren't any men I've met from here that made me feel uncomfortable at all so perhaps I'm getting over it??

5 Oct 2004

I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
I saw the flickering shadow of love on her blind
She was my woman
As she decieved me I watched and went out of my mind
My my my Delilah
WHY WHY WHY Delilah
I could see, that girl was no good for me
But I was lost like a slave that no man could free
At break of day when that man drove away I was waiting
I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more
My my my Delilah
WHY WHY WHY Delilah
So before they come to break down the door
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more

5 Oct 2004

Quote by McGuinness
I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
I saw the flickering shadow of love on her blind
She was my woman
As she decieved me I watched and went out of my mind
My my my Delilah
WHY WHY WHY Delilah
I could see, that girl was no good for me
But I was lost like a slave that no man could free
At break of day when that man drove away I was waiting
I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more
My my my Delilah
WHY WHY WHY Delilah
So before they come to break down the door
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more
Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more

Please reassure me I don't have to throw my knickers at you :shock:

5 Oct 2004

Quote by bluexxx
The only meets I've had with couples in the last couple of years as either been through clubs or my party (and I'm not sure either or those count in this instance?). As there are lots of couples on the forum and some from my neck of the woods, I'm not sure why more of us don't meet up privately????? I'm up for it if you lot are!!!

Even privately meeting couples you know well can be a problem in our experience. Maybe the arranged, forum meets at clubs are the way forward. Like a munch but for playing rather than just socialising. Steveg seems to be on the right lines with the meets at Partners - they seem to have worked ok. The advantage is quite a few couples turning up at once so you are not dependent on just one other couple being able to coincide with your availability.
Just a weekend rather than midweek would suit us better lol.
ps if you are at Liaisons any Sunday afternoon come and say hello to us. wink

Ric and Jax

5 Oct 2004

Calista wrote "please reassure me i don't have to throw my knickers at you"
i wouldn't complain if you did !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

5 Oct 2004

Quote by McGuinness
i wouldn't complain if you did !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

Who says I'm wearin any to throw? :twisted: