Quote by flapjackboy
hi u want fuckin?
No, you want a dictionary?
Well getting back to witty ripostes, as opposed to angry ripostes, I thought Ice Pie did well, but my vote would be this from flapjackboy.
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Witty retorts needed
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Orgasminator
Quote by Jags
I've 'spoken' to Clare and established the culprit - at least the one who PMd her - and deactivated him.
Ooh I just love the way that you made that sound like you gave me a good telling off :shock: :jagsatwork:
:dunno: I said 'spoken' as it was by PM rather than by phone!!
:P
Awwwwww poor Clare...
It's horrid when you intend something to be humerous and it isn't understood. I laughed when I read Clare's comment 'cos it tickled my sense of humour. I did understand where you were coming from and know you meant nothing but good things from it... Maybe it is an East Midlands sense of humour! 
Orgasminator
Quote by Scandal
I am obviously attracting a better class of one liner pm's:
Go green ladies! :smug:
Absolutely I'm green, perhaps that's why I don't get any PMs at all... :lol: I must try a different brand of make up!
Either that or I'll have to flash me tits! 
Quote by WibblyWobbly
I am obviously attracting a better class of one liner pm's:
Go green ladies! :smug:
Absolutely I'm green, perhaps that's why I don't get any PMs at all... :lol: I must try a different brand of make up!
Either that or I'll have to flash me tits! Coff coff!
Gwan then :twisted:
Cathy x
Sex God
Aw, that's not fair..... I haven't got a PM from him and now he's gone before we had chance to meet 
I would have said yes
:grin:
I would have said yes
:grin:
hi u want fuckin?
How about...
No, and since you can't be bothered to write more than one line I take it you don't have the stamina to do so, which must be what you're like in bed. Since you've done one sentence you must be PMing every woman on this website, along with other websites which shows you're just after a quick shag. Since you're doing this on the internet I take it that your pathetic attempts at doing so in real life have failed miserably, and you're still in the dark as to why. Take some advice from someone who can write more than one sentence and use that tiny brain outside your pants to come up with something better than "hi u want fuckin?". If I wanted a good fucking then I'd get a real man who can talk and type, and who can last in bed to do it. If I wanted someone who only wrote one sentence then I'd get someone in the media. You mate, are getting nowhere. Now sod off, learn to type and maybe, just maybe, you might get somewhere. Unless you're also ugly, in which case, you're beyond help.
Sex God
Quote by bluexxx
Aw, that's not fair..... I haven't got a PM from him and now he's gone before we had chance to meet
I would have said yes
:grin:
You know I sooooo had my fingers crossed that you'd got one as well. :( :( :(
You could always unban him on the understanding that he uses his smooth one-liners on you. :twisted:
Better luck next time Blue.
:twisted: Quote by WibblyWobbly
I've 'spoken' to Clare and established the culprit - at least the one who PMd her - and deactivated him.
Ooh I just love the way that you made that sound like you gave me a good telling off :shock: :jagsatwork:
:dunno: I said 'spoken' as it was by PM rather than by phone!!
:P
Awwwwww poor Clare...
It's horrid when you intend something to be humerous and it isn't understood. I laughed when I read Clare's comment 'cos it tickled my sense of humour. I did understand where you were coming from and know you meant nothing but good things from it... Maybe it is an East Midlands sense of humour! Thank god for that,Ta wibbly
Quote by peenut
Probably from a shepherd who mixed up you with the local vet.... ewe needs inseminating , I think you should refer him to the MAFF website ! ps Well at least you DO get PMs (he says wistfully).
hehehehe. So now at least you got 1 today, and from a single female too,an ever so elusive genuinely bi one too.
ps. Ooooohhhhhhh maybe I should post more! Hope you had a great weekend anyway
PPS hope i finally send one of these to the right person... oohhhh I'll be the subject of a thread if Iget it wrong again lmao
Quote by Jags
I've 'spoken' to Clare and established the culprit - at least the one who PMd her - and deactivated him. Please PM me and tell me your nutter and I will do the same.
Seriously - we don't want that sort of person here. Harassing females is harassing females whether you're out in the street or inside SH.
Jags, if you don't mind me saying, I get PMs like this all the time - have done since Day One - and thats why my profile is like it is - I find I only get about three or four inane, offensive PMs a week now - as opposed to the 10-20 I was getting before I made some kind of effort to deter the newbies. . . however, it's a shame I have to write a profile that is fairly off-putting to all single men - but I have been left with no option (other than change my avatar to something quite sickening and as attractive as Robin Cook on a bad day...)
Sex God
Quote by SunBunny
Jags, if you don't mind me saying, I get PMs like this all the time - have done since Day One - and thats why my profile is like it is - I find I only get about three or four inane, offensive PMs a week now - as opposed to the 10-20 I was getting before I made some kind of effort to deter the newbies. . . however, it's a shame I have to write a profile that is fairly off-putting to all single men - but I have been left with no option (other than change my avatar to something quite sickening and as attractive as Robin Cook on a bad day...)
Blimey SunBunny if this avatar is of Robin Cook on a bad day, there must be something seriously wrong with my Television!
I try not to PM anyone, "that's a lie" but I do try to get the spelling right.
John
Sex God
ooooooooo robin cook on a bad day
mmmmmmmmm
sorry dreaming again.
Anyway I have never sent such PMs, i think most of us wud want fuckin but what the hell have these twats got in to there small minded minds.
MikeC
mmmmmmmmm
sorry dreaming again.
Anyway I have never sent such PMs, i think most of us wud want fuckin but what the hell have these twats got in to there small minded minds.
MikeC
Sex God
These morons are best ignored.
It spoils their day completely if they're on a wind up and if they can't see what prats they are they're not worth the effort to reply to anyway!! :grin:
It's fun when they post in the forum though. :twisted:
It spoils their day completely if they're on a wind up and if they can't see what prats they are they're not worth the effort to reply to anyway!! :grin:
It's fun when they post in the forum though. :twisted:
Quote by Andromeda
Probably from a shepherd who mixed up you with the local vet.... ewe needs inseminating , I think you should refer him to the MAFF website ! ps Well at least you DO get PMs (he says wistfully).
hehehehe. So now at least you got 1 today, and from a single female too,an ever so elusive genuinely bi one too.
ps. Ooooohhhhhhh maybe I should post more! Hope you had a great weekend anyway
PPS hope i finally send one of these to the right person... oohhhh I'll be the subject of a thread if Iget it wrong again lmao
No I didn't get your PM actually !!!!! ps, was it asking me " would u like a f......." by any chance?
( he says gazing skyward lest a flying pig craps on him) 
Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
hi u want fuckin?
This delightful invitation arrived in my pm just.
I'm a bit under the influence but he does deserve a reply ~ any witty suggestions!
Sorry I don't normally post my pm's etc but to have signed up today, made no posts and then be sending crap pm's like this!!!!!!!!
C x
Oooohhhh... what an eloquent man. You all must feel so lucky
:D :DI take it that you are going to be fighting amongst yourselves to have him? :D :D :D
Quote by SunBunny
I've 'spoken' to Clare and established the culprit - at least the one who PMd her - and deactivated him. Please PM me and tell me your nutter and I will do the same.
Seriously - we don't want that sort of person here. Harassing females is harassing females whether you're out in the street or inside SH.
Jags, if you don't mind me saying, I get PMs like this all the time - have done since Day One - and thats why my profile is like it is - I find I only get about three or four inane, offensive PMs a week now - as opposed to the 10-20 I was getting before I made some kind of effort to deter the newbies. . . however, it's a shame I have to write a profile that is fairly off-putting to all single men - but I have been left with no option (other than change my avatar to something quite sickening and as attractive as Robin Cook on a bad day...)
It is a shame :cry: and we do want to help out!
:P
Quote by Clare_Lincs
I've 'spoken' to Clare and established the culprit - at least the one who PMd her - and deactivated him.
Ooh I just love the way that you made that sound like you gave me a good telling off :shock: :jagsatwork:
:dunno: I said 'spoken' as it was by PM rather than by phone!!
:P
Awwwwww poor Clare...
It's horrid when you intend something to be humerous and it isn't understood. I laughed when I read Clare's comment 'cos it tickled my sense of humour. I did understand where you were coming from and know you meant nothing but good things from it... Maybe it is an East Midlands sense of humour! Thank god for that,Ta wibbly
I understood it too, but then i do have a sick sense of humour!
BB
thinking of PMing blue with a f*ck me post ..... :rascal:
Quote by Calista
hi u want fuckin?
This delightful invitation arrived in my pm just.
I'm a bit under the influence but he does deserve a reply ~ any witty suggestions!
Sorry I don't normally post my pm's etc but to have signed up today, made no posts and then be sending crap pm's like this!!!!!!!!
C x
No !!! do you dickhead ?
I have always felt the punishment should fit the crime.
For the next one, why not turn it into a chain PM, send it to 3 people, asking each one to send a 'No thank you' PM to the originator then forward it on to 3 other people who send a no thank you and forward it on to 3 more etc etc
1
3
9
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2187
By this point, the unfortunate miscreant should be begging the moderators to close his account!
- Especially with a profile set to 'e-mail me pm notifications' :twisted:
lhk
Kat
For the next one, why not turn it into a chain PM, send it to 3 people, asking each one to send a 'No thank you' PM to the originator then forward it on to 3 other people who send a no thank you and forward it on to 3 more etc etc
1
3
9
27
81
243
729
2187
By this point, the unfortunate miscreant should be begging the moderators to close his account!
- Especially with a profile set to 'e-mail me pm notifications' :twisted: lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKat
I have always felt the punishment should fit the crime.
For the next one, why not turn it into a chain PM, send it to 3 people, asking each one to send a 'No thank you' PM to the originator then forward it on to 3 other people who send a no thank you and forward it on to 3 more etc etc
1
3
9
27
81
243
729
2187
By this point, the unfortunate miscreant should be begging the moderators to close his account!
lhk
Kat
I'm staying on your good side then Kat :scared:
hi u want fuckin?
Fucking hell, are you Claire Voyant??? How the fuck did you know that?? Have you been going through my trash? Do you work for the government?
Quote by Suze43
Ive just received one that said "u want sex" and to be honest it makes me so madddd. Honestly, as if that turns me on or somethin - some people just have no bloody idea!!!
So, you really DON'T want sex then Suze ... bugger!!!!
Quote by KitKat
I have always felt the punishment should fit the crime.
For the next one, why not turn it into a chain PM, send it to 3 people, asking each one to send a 'No thank you' PM to the originator then forward it on to 3 other people who send a no thank you and forward it on to 3 more etc etc
1
3
9
27
81
243
729
2187
By this point, the unfortunate miscreant should be begging the moderators to close his account!
lhk
Kat
I bet you are related to the guy who invented Wheel Clamps, Parking Meters and Speed Guns!!!... nasty nasty person .... pmsl
