Women paranoid!!

20 Dec 2005

My Girlfriend is on the large side (which i dont mind still get great sex biggrin

) but she seems to be real paranoid most of the time about her wieght saying "im too fat" ect
Why is it that women are so paranoid about thier wieght when their partner still gives them plenty of comlements it shouldnt matter as long as your partner is the one giving you the compliments Should it??

20 Dec 2005

Indeed ! I often muse at the images on various "art" websites of what are given to be "perfect" people and cannot help but wonder apart from an enormous penis or womanly bits what else could they offer ? To me a relationship is a combination of many factors and if you are happy then why make a problem !

20 Dec 2005

of course it shouldn't matter! my wife is also on the large side, and like all women she constantly worries about her weight. she is lovely as she is and as long as you're happy with who you are, who cares what anyone else thinks!
And yes, the sex is great with bigger women!!

20 Dec 2005

Quote by Cheshire_Couple
My Girlfriend is on the large side (which i dont mind still get great sex ) but she seems to be real paranoid most of the time about her wieght saying "im too fat" ect
Why is it that women are so paranoid about thier wieght when their partner still gives them plenty of comlements it shouldnt matter as long as your partner is the one giving you the compliments Should it??

This has been done before... but a long time ago...
Issues of self image will always exist... I myself see myself as far to thin and "un-masculine" as most guys are a lot chunkyer than I am... And I tend to prefer women who are slim to medium build when I know nothing about them except a visual representation but more, I guess, because I'm so "thin/skinny."
When I get to know someone or spend a great evening talking or chatting to someone then I find size is far less of, or not, an issue, and with my ex (the mother of my son) I never noticed her size change when she was pregnant and post pregnancy as I was inlove with her and we just clicked, so there was far more than a visual attraction (with hind sight I can remember the physical changes but never a dimishment of attraction (we finally split due to PND and being far to young and living miles from parents who might have been able to help out))
I think when a partner is asking questions about visual things (size, grey hair, male patern baldness, beer belly, etc.) then it is either about an afarmation that their partner still finds then attractive or they are un-happy with themselves and are either looking for a self esteme boost or help to change to how they would prefer to be... as a partner, you havnt a hope in hell of working out which unless they tell you...
You love your partner, you find her attractive... so theres no problem... If says "I feel fat and want to loose weight" then as you love her you can help her if she wants it to reach her prefered body weight.
Men are just as bad as women... we tend not to vocalise it as often, or when we do its laughed off because men are not meant to be concious of their own size/build!

20 Dec 2005

Size is nothing, its whats inside that counts....
I would much rather go with a larger person than a skinny one with no personality if i had to choose between the 2
shaz x

20 Dec 2005

I think she looks well fit and would get any man going biggrin

20 Dec 2005

Quote by Cheshire_Couple
My Girlfriend is on the large side (which i dont mind still get great sex ) but she seems to be real paranoid most of the time about her wieght saying "im too fat" ect
Why is it that women are so paranoid about thier wieght when their partner still gives them plenty of comlements it shouldnt matter as long as your partner is the one giving you the compliments Should it??

Perhaps, rather than insisting that she's paranoid because you don't think it matters, you should listen to the fact that it's bothering her. Yes, a lot of women go on about their weight when there's no need - but others are genuinely unhappy with their size/shape/body.
Self image isn't about whether a partner compliments you or not, it's about how someone feels about themself - regardless of what you're saying or thinking.

20 Dec 2005

The fact that u say she's on the large side, but, you still get great sex, sounds as if it might be a problem to you, but, you go on to say that you are a pleasently surprised that she can still give you good sex. Why should being large be a hurdle to great sex?? :shock:
I dont think that can be doing her any good at all.
She certainly needs your support, although, i agree that it matters not what other people say to encourage, however, it surely must help in some way towards her overall feeling of how 'she' feels about herself.
Does that make sense?

20 Dec 2005

larger sizes are great just adds to the possibilities

20 Dec 2005

Although complients are nice, its how the person feels within themselves that matters, if your not happy with the way you look, no amount of compliments will make u feel any better.
Lindaxxx

20 Dec 2005

I've often worried about my size, but mostly because my ex used to be so critical. It's very hard to be positive if you're being put down. I love sex and those I meet at clubs like Chams tend to be lovely - men and women - and I always have a good time there. Long live the non-judgementals!!

20 Dec 2005

im a bigger girl and most of the time i dont care about my weight or what people think...
but then i have times where i hate it and the thought of getting naked in front of someone scares the hell out of me :shock:
once im naked and getting the ooo's n ahhhh's at the right times, i tend to forget wink

compliments i find help, especialy when you are in a 'i feel fat' mood, better than the guy sreaming and running for his life lol
hasnt happened to me yet though.... biggrin

20 Dec 2005

Quote by Cheshire_Couple
My Girlfriend is on the large side (which i dont mind still get great sex ) but she seems to be real paranoid most of the time about her wieght saying "im too fat" ect
Why is it that women are so paranoid about thier wieght when their partner still gives them plenty of comlements it shouldnt matter as long as your partner is the one giving you the compliments Should it??

Many people dislike the way they look and no matter how many times you tell them they look ok if they are not happy they will not listern to you, and yes it does matter, many women want to change themselves for themself not for their partner, you can't expect someone to be happy just cause your ok with the way they look, what about how they feel?
I think it is hard being a big lady in this scene, being over weigh myself i know how she feels, all guys seem to be after slim women and when you go to clubs etc there seems to be loads of skimply clad slim women and it does make it hard to feel 'wanted' or that you fit in, its all down to confidance and if you havn't got it...well you havn't got it lol

20 Dec 2005

its very difficult to please your lady all the time. i took mine out for tea and biscuits yesterday. she loved the tea and biscuits but was not that keen on giving blood. so you see nothings perfect.
bony tony

20 Dec 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
I think it is hard being a big lady in this scene, being over weigh myself i know how she feels, all guys seem to be after slim women and when you go to clubs etc there seems to be loads of skimply clad slim women and it does make it hard to feel 'wanted' or that you fit in, its all down to confidance and if you havn't got it...well you havn't got it lol

Yep I reckon that just about nails it... Confidence is not something that can be dressed up or down or visualised and coaxed into being.. Larger ladies, on the whole, tend to be fairly confident people in my experience. although that is not always the reality of it.. one lady in particular told me she was this bouncy lively wench due to her size.. she claimed her personality hid her large frame, and I suppose she was right to an extent, but she still had her own issues which plagued her.. she was a lovely person and had stunning features with it, and dressed to kill she was dynamite.. it was in private she had the hang-ups about her body. it was, and remains, (we are still good friends), a big problem for her, and no matter how often she is told it matters not... she can't see it cos she's the unhappy one.. can she do anything about it?? Yes is the short answer, but it would require a total change of lifestyle- as it would for soooo many- and it simply isn't viable at the moment. Sometimes I think people see a large person and instantly think "greedy". It's not always the case.. many factors like inherited genetics, hormonal issues,stress, childbirth... and on and on ,are responsible, and there is not a way yet popularly available
without genetic alteration and other drastic measures, to combat these issues. I wish there were..
Paul.

20 Dec 2005

Why is it that women are so paranoid about thier wieght
Because everytime you turn the TV on, everytime you see an advert, every bill board in town, every female photographed on packaging and in all the magazines, there are skinny women :P

20 Dec 2005

and the girls used in skin care adverts are 16!!
i wish there were more women like helen mirren to fly the flag for sexy older women.

20 Dec 2005

Quote by fluffer
and the girls used in skin care adverts are 16!!
i wish there were more women like helen mirren to fly the flag for sexy older women.

me too...

20 Dec 2005

men also worryabout their body image and if they look fat though, at least i do cos im a hefty lad. its all power in to the thrust though lol. plus you cant beat a women with curves who dresses to emphasise them....

27 Dec 2005

Many people dislike the way they look and no matter how many times you tell them they look ok if they are not happy they will not listern to you, and yes it does matter, many women want to change themselves for themself not for their partner, you can't expect someone to be happy just cause your ok with the way they look, what about how they feel?
I think it is hard being a big lady in this scene, being over weigh myself i know how she feels, all guys seem to be after slim women and when you go to clubs etc there seems to be loads of skimply clad slim women and it does make it hard to feel 'wanted' or that you fit in, its all down to confidance and if you havn't got it...well you havn't got it lol

confidence is the key, i used to hate the way i look i was down and depressed which only made me comfort eat and put on more weight, along with a self destroying relationship i was in at the time i was a mess.
but once out of that relationship i met my current partner (on this very site i might add :inlove: ) who loves me for me, who 12 months down the line is still all over me where ever we go, hes given me so much confidence and made me sooo happy :thrilled:
when we met i was a size28 now im i size22 and iv not been on any diet the weight as just dropped off.
i dont want to lose more weight im happy as i am, been sexy is all in the mind, great sex is between the ears not the legs.
what im trying to say is except your body embrace it, life says you must be tall, thin with legs longer than the M1, but its all bollocks. be happy. people are more attracted to confident people dont matter if they are a size 10 or a size 20. love yourself and so will others.

27 Dec 2005

Quote by jin55
its very difficult to please your lady all the time. i took mine out for tea and biscuits yesterday. she loved the tea and biscuits but was not that keen on giving blood. so you see nothings perfect.
bony tony

There's no pleasing some people. :giggle:

27 Dec 2005

I, myself, am not on the skinny side. Im what Dean calls a a lovely, healthy, sexy size 18. And i am very happy with my body and how it looks. I understand that not everyone finds this attractive, but i know a fair few people who do!
I can understand why women get worried about how thay look. From a young age we (and men too) are expected to conform to what is seen as attratcive. (conform? us goths? never! lol!)
I say be happy with who you are..... the happier you are on the inside, the happier you'll look on the outside.

Are you sure?