oooh this gets my goat.. in Aldi they always say "paying by cash or card".. why?? what difference does it make? winds me up every time!
Suze
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Suze43
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 63
Forum
just sitting here shyly in the corner.. nice to see everyone!
Gem, when i read the post on Sunday on FB i was totally staggered and had to read it several times for it to sink in. I know what youre going thru and the hell you find yourself in.. im not going to say its gets easier with time.. cos for me the pain is still there.. but it gets easier to live with. Neil was a lovely man, always had time for a chat, and had this ability to make you feel welcome and wanted. Take strength from those closest to you.. dont be afraid to ask for help, people want to help and will do all they can. You will certainly find out who your real friends are! Much love Gem and stay as strong as u can xxx
Hi and thank you for the messages. I doubt there are many ppl here who remember me - it has been a long time. I miss the heady days of munches, socials and chatting - kinda compartmentalised them into my Bart memories. Great times spent with great people. Life is different now - took me a long time to get used to being single. It's ok just different! Just to let you know yr in my thoughts!!
Suze x
Suze x
Hi all,
Dont know if anyone on here now can remember me? Its been a while i have to say... but ive just searched for all posts from my late partner and its brought back some amazing memories.. omg we had some fun! Its getting on for 3 yrs since he died and after reading things he put on the forum its made me feel like hes still here and its made me smile tonight
You know what, we made some great friends "back in the day", some of which i keep in touch with on Facebook or by phone.. anyway just wanted to say hi, im still around and hope things are ticking over well on here...
Suze x
Dont know if anyone on here now can remember me? Its been a while i have to say... but ive just searched for all posts from my late partner and its brought back some amazing memories.. omg we had some fun! Its getting on for 3 yrs since he died and after reading things he put on the forum its made me feel like hes still here and its made me smile tonight
You know what, we made some great friends "back in the day", some of which i keep in touch with on Facebook or by phone.. anyway just wanted to say hi, im still around and hope things are ticking over well on here...
Suze x
omg this is just terrible news, Bart and I went to a couple of Bristol socials a few years ago. I cant believe it and im sorry for Mrs Somers, i know what she is going thru and its sheer and utter hell. There really are no words to express my sadness...
Why do the good ones have to go so soon??
Suze xxx
Why do the good ones have to go so soon??
Suze xxx
Quote by Witchy
Bit disappointed with Shameless but it was only the 1st episode so I'll wait and see. Grey's Anatomy is still as ace as ever :thumbup:
Ah, things picked up in the second episode. It actually made me laugh aloud- a very rare occurrence.
Yep ill second that, second episode of Shameless is hilarious laugh out loud, funny.... love it. Grays Anatomy is one of my favourite progs and makes me cry on a regular basis.
Suze xx
Missing Bart so much its so painful. I cant do everything by myself, tried to go outside to tidy up the garden and actually vomitted picking up the dog shit. God im such a bloody wuss! Having to do the house, walk the dogs, go shopping and entertain my youngest all by myself.... i just cant do it! My heart is too heavy. Missing Bart cooking me poached eggs on toast on a Sat morning, feeling lonely, hopeless and simply alone. Dont see the point anymore...
Suze x
Suze x
Quote by Tasitus
oh my god - I just didnt know until this was pointed out to me
Suze I'm so very very sorry - If I had known I would have sent my condolences sooner
Bart trully was one of life's good guys, whenever I have been in his company he did nothing other than make me smile - a true gent
I can only echo all the fine words said here
A sad sad day
(martell)
Thank you and im glad youve put your old name at the end cos i hadnt got a clue who u were altho you clearly knew me and Bart!!
Thank you for your sentiments and for caring....
Life sucks sometimes...
Suze xx
Quote by Dawnie
Suze every time I log in now I come straight to this thread to see how you are doing. I'm glad you are posting
awwww thanks Dawnie, had a reasonable weekend really, friends over on Friday night altho they were a bit all doom and gloom :sad: you know the sort "you will never get over this, your life may as well be over" types.
Another friend came over yesterday afternoon and has invited me to go to an concert next weekend, to see someone called Buffy Sainte Marie, never heard of her but im not saying no... its a night out and its really nice of her to invite me.
Two of my cousins travelled over to see me today and that was lovely, they are such lovely positive people, bought me some flowers, wine and a home made chocolate cake (yum yum).
Tomorrow my parents are finally coming over, they havent been to see me at all yet,havent even been to see me for over 3 years. They didnt like Bart for whatever reason, but i dont care, they should be here to support me and my children. Think ive shamed them into coming. Hope they find the way ok....
Im ok in company, its when im alone, that my mind goes into overdrive, mind you, watching "The Bucket list" last night probably wasnt my best idea!
Suze xx
Quote by corrie2010
Aaaaaaah Suze,
We only ever borrow our loved ones for such a short time. The greatest leveller to us all is that life is so dam dam short and money makes no difference at the end of the day to what can happen.
I was really sorry to hear about Bart passing away and just wanted to say if you ever fancy an evening out to put the worlds to right sometime in the future then I am your woman.
Take care for now
Corrie xxxxxxx
hmmmm thanks Corrie and i might just take take up on that offer!
Suze xx
Quote by mollman1
and yeah i guess i have bared my soul rather a lot and i hope thats ok
does it matter? as long as it helps you feel even a tiny bit better then thats the only important thing
Oi you open up as much or as little as ya want babes we love you and you come in and just chill with mates when ever you feel ya need us all ok babes...........
we love you, love me Busty and the rest of the rabble on here!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
awww love you two and miss you both... and Sassy thanks hun means a lot to me and i remember you lost your best mate and that what my bart was to me, my bestest mate, my lover and my soulmate. Broke the mould when they made him...
Suze xx
Quote by Missy
Sending you another batch of hugs Suze.
Seeing you sharing your thoughts on here is so touching, you're such an open honest person
I do feel for you Suze and just wanted you to know that again, you're in a lot of peoples thoughts a lot of the time, you're not alone :kiss:
Thanks so much missy, means a lot and yeah i guess i have bared my soul rather a lot and i hope thats ok. I honestly am overwhelmed with the support ive received on here (i had no support whatsoever from my own parents, they havent been to see me and they didnt come to the funeral).
The people on here are amazing and although i obviously wont be up to going to munches and socials for x amount on time... i feel at home here and i feel kinda loved.
Thanks to everyone for your help... ive been in touch with Cruse and ive got a 6 week wait for a visit with a counsellor and without the support on here, well i dont like to think where i would be now!!
((((hugs)))) Suze xxxx
just been to pick barts ashes up from the undertakers and im relieved and happier that hes back home...
His mum left this morning and i think shes taken the jumper of his id been smelling since he died. Ive emailed her asking her if shes got it cos i need it! Its been like a blankie...
Suze x
His mum left this morning and i think shes taken the jumper of his id been smelling since he died. Ive emailed her asking her if shes got it cos i need it! Its been like a blankie...
Suze x
Its over.... the funeral was today and it was beautiful yet heartbreaking. Went exactly as i wanted it to and i stood up and paid a personal tribute to my man. I think he would have been both touched and proud. Its been a long day, and a long 19 days since he left and im very glad its over.
Going to pick up his ashes in a day or two and then to decide what to do with them.. it can wait a bit think...
Rest In Peace Darling....
Suze xxx
Going to pick up his ashes in a day or two and then to decide what to do with them.. it can wait a bit think...
Rest In Peace Darling....
Suze xxx
Been to see Bart today, it was so scary, he looked like a model of bart.. his face looked good, like he was sleeping.... but his hands were white and cold. I touched his face, his hair, his body and i kissed him. I loved him so much..
Ive found texts on his phone... did he love me? Or was i being used? Its so fucking frustrating cos ill never know the answer. Why am i having so many doubts? Why did i put up with so much shit? If i had found these texts beforehand, i would have thrown him out cos it had happened time and time again. Maybe he got his comeuppance? Why is my mind going into overdrive?
I loved him thats all i know for sure...
Suze xx
Ive found texts on his phone... did he love me? Or was i being used? Its so fucking frustrating cos ill never know the answer. Why am i having so many doubts? Why did i put up with so much shit? If i had found these texts beforehand, i would have thrown him out cos it had happened time and time again. Maybe he got his comeuppance? Why is my mind going into overdrive?
I loved him thats all i know for sure...
Suze xx
I am soooo exhausted and drained.... the phone never stops ringing, endless texts, soo much stuff to organise... i dont seem to get time to just sit and reflect! Had to go and register Barts death today, there was a wedding going on at the same time.. made me feel sad and lonely. Just popped into town for some Rescue Remedy and everywhere i looked there were memories of Bart, his favourite second hand book shop, the place where we went for a coffee the day before Xmas Eve. Seeing a car the same as his..
Then this afternoon, between phone calls, feeling warm and fuzzy cos my friend from work had sent me some gorgeous flowers. Went to see the undertaker taking with me some of Barts favourite clothes to wear, some photos for in his coffin and the book he had just started reading for him to finish. I told the undertaker "its for him to finish, sorry ive just gone a bit loopy". Going to see him tomorrow morning, im apprehensive having never seen a body before... will he still look like my Bart, will he look peaceful or in pain?
Tonight, my daughter is going to tattoo me with a heart with a B inside it.. its lovely and a small, lasting reminder of him.
His funeral isnt until the 18th Jan, seems like ages away... what a week its been!
Suze xx
Then this afternoon, between phone calls, feeling warm and fuzzy cos my friend from work had sent me some gorgeous flowers. Went to see the undertaker taking with me some of Barts favourite clothes to wear, some photos for in his coffin and the book he had just started reading for him to finish. I told the undertaker "its for him to finish, sorry ive just gone a bit loopy". Going to see him tomorrow morning, im apprehensive having never seen a body before... will he still look like my Bart, will he look peaceful or in pain?
Tonight, my daughter is going to tattoo me with a heart with a B inside it.. its lovely and a small, lasting reminder of him.
His funeral isnt until the 18th Jan, seems like ages away... what a week its been!
Suze xx
