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Swingcleveland
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 52
0 miles · Middlesbrough
Forum
Warming the Bed
Bumping this one back to the top as there's still a couple of weeks.
Warming the Bed
With more than a nod to the great Ronnie Barker:
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks .
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.
Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.
This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks .
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.
"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.
Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.
This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
Warming the Bed
Right then, after such a positive response from the girls it stays!
Thanks for all the replies all.
Now where's that pirate outfit
Thanks for all the replies all.
Now where's that pirate outfit
Warming the Bed
I know.
But they don't do any harm.
Live and let live is my motto (especially the girls with lots of PVC & piercings )
But they don't do any harm.
Live and let live is my motto (especially the girls with lots of PVC & piercings
) Warming the Bed
Quote by little gem
Do you have your own tits too? :rascal:
Chix with dix......... mmmm...... sorry wrong site!
Haha
No, I rely on someone else to bring those to proceedings.
I've got big hands though
Warming the Bed
Having a short break with my other half, any couples/fems around there at that time as well.
M-32 (straight)
F-26 (bi)
M-32 (straight)
F-26 (bi)
Warming the Bed
Quote by Vix
all men, with long hair, turn my head. It's just the thing, for me.
*retreats back to her own corner of Aquarius*
And especially if that long hair is on Johnny Depp???
Did you see him in Benny & Joon? That hair - those EYES!!! drool
Oh, Jeez, yes.
Mind you, I'd have him with a scabby scalp and no hair!!
Funnily enough, a good female friend of mine has encouraged me on more than one occasion to go for a 'Pirates Of The Carribean' look during some fantasy play.
He sure is a popular lad with the girls.
Warming the Bed
Quote by Serendipity
Depends on what it's like, if you have long hair like James Hetfield used to then cut it off but if you have long hair like Anthony Kiedis used to, def keep it! :twisted:
Its definitely more of a Kiedis type cut (straight hair) rather than something that looks like an extended judges wig.
And yes, its kept exceptionally clean.
So far it seems that its staying!
Warming the Bed
I'm having a bit of a dialemma at the moment. I've had shoulder length hair for 5/6 years and debating having it cut off.
What do the lovely ladies on here think of long hair on men?
Is it out of date.
Its not a Pat Sharpe mullet before anyone asks.
What do the lovely ladies on here think of long hair on men?
Is it out of date.
Its not a Pat Sharpe mullet before anyone asks.
Warming the Bed
Quote by SXBOY
has any one here actually posed for a soft porn magazine then ?
tell us all..go on
ops:
I tried to, but they said I wasn't suitable for Readers Wives
might be something to do with having a cock !!!!!! :oops: :oops: :oops:
It never stopped those 'brave' fellows in 'One For The Ladies' :lol:
Warming the Bed
Quote by jamnat20032003
can honestly say that i cant predict the future
you said next instead of last few years
I meant it as in submiited once, used in one issue and then 'popped up' over the next few years in other issues.
Warming the Bed
Anybody ever been one/submitted photos and had them used for the next few years?
Were you recognised locally?
And while on the subject of Paul Raymond's empire, what does everyone think of ahem, Contact UK magazine?
Were you recognised locally?
And while on the subject of Paul Raymond's empire, what does everyone think of ahem, Contact UK magazine?
Warming the Bed
While we have heard of the likes of Club 2000 and Club F, we've always preffered private meets but decided that this weekend we fancy a bit of fun at a club.
Can anyone give reccomendations, reviews of NE clubs.
Thanks
L & M
Can anyone give reccomendations, reviews of NE clubs.
Thanks
L & M
Warming the Bed
I'd go for Lorraine Kelly, bustier and I'd imagine bawdier!
Kaplinsky's not half bad mind.
Going back to the mention of Fern Britton though, she's a big lass but she's a bonny lass and there is something about her that says 'insatiable'.
Kaplinsky's not half bad mind.
Going back to the mention of Fern Britton though, she's a big lass but she's a bonny lass and there is something about her that says 'insatiable'.
Warming the Bed
And here was me thinking this was going to be a thread about the Gil Scot Heron club classic.
Warming the Bed
I know a few people going there on Saturday to see the guest DJ (Tony Humphries) from America.
It will be hot and sweaty in there but quite smart at the same time.
More of a dancing club (as in dance music, a few naughty bits and bobs) than a drinking club.
It will be hot and sweaty in there but quite smart at the same time.
More of a dancing club (as in dance music, a few naughty bits and bobs) than a drinking club.
Warming the Bed
Surely its those receiving the 'benefits' who should/shouldn't be bothered about this.
I think as long as:
a) It works
b) Doesn't look too weird (ie: like one of the carrots from 'Thats Life' )
c) Its clean
You've got nothing to worry about
I think as long as:
a) It works
b) Doesn't look too weird (ie: like one of the carrots from 'Thats Life'
)c) Its clean
You've got nothing to worry about
Warming the Bed
Just visited their site and it says they have closed and it is up for sale.
Does anyone know when/why this happened?
Does anyone know when/why this happened?
Warming the Bed
Decent, respectful and honest NE doggers are like War Of The Worlds:
We are there, people just don't know about it.
We are there, people just don't know about it.
Warming the Bed
Damn, any other night and we would have had a look through.
Stuck in a pub watching a relatives band instead.
Thems the breaks..... :cry:
Stuck in a pub watching a relatives band instead.
Thems the breaks..... :cry:
Warming the Bed
Now thats what I call a welcome.
Thanks folks- I hope the sun is shining where you are today.
Thanks folks- I hope the sun is shining where you are today.
Warming the Bed
Hi there I'm Liam and new on here. Well I say new, I joined a while ago but have only got round to posting.
There's some great crack (pardon any pun) on here so I look forward to participating.
Are there many North Eastern folk on here?
There's some great crack (pardon any pun) on here so I look forward to participating.
Are there many North Eastern folk on here?
Warming the Bed
Sorry guys, only interested in couples and mixed sex groups.
Warming the Bed
Well after a couple of posts with few replies thought I'd try again- I do have faith!!!!
Out tonight with a lady friend at a couple of sites in the A171 area, anyone else out tonight.
Out tonight with a lady friend at a couple of sites in the A171 area, anyone else out tonight.
Warming the Bed
Out for a spot tonight with a lady friend (45yrs, 48dd) in Whitby/North Yorks area.
Any couples out & about??
PM me if interested.
Any couples out & about??
PM me if interested.
Warming the Bed
Hi there
I am a fit, clean, discreet & GENUINE male looking for couples for dogging/ outdoor fun in the Cleveland & N Yorks area.
I'm especially into ladies between 40 & 55.
PM me for more of a chat.
I am a fit, clean, discreet & GENUINE male looking for couples for dogging/ outdoor fun in the Cleveland & N Yorks area.
I'm especially into ladies between 40 & 55.
PM me for more of a chat.
