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Thanks Libra-Love 
It was very interesting reading some of the comments .. including yours ...
Just wondering if your opinions have changed at all?
It was very interesting reading some of the comments .. including yours ...
Just wanted to say a big thank you to all you married folk for your intellectual justifications and imput on cheating...oh sorry, swinging.... Now I remember why it is I choose to remain independent and single.
Just wondering if your opinions have changed at all?
I suppose by this I am just floating a thought .. but wanted to share it with everyone and get some responses.
I regularly look through the photoads - not just the ones that I'm interested in, but some of the others as well. It fascinates me to see who is out there!
Something that intrigues me though are those people who are looking for "discreet" encounters behind a wife's or husband's back - but will then go on to describe themselves as "genuine".
To go behind someone's back is in itself somewhat dishonest, so how can you then go on to describe yourself as "genuine" or "reliable"?
Many of these people who post such ads are themselves, and remarkably, looking for discretion and trust!
Thoughts?
I regularly look through the photoads - not just the ones that I'm interested in, but some of the others as well. It fascinates me to see who is out there!
Something that intrigues me though are those people who are looking for "discreet" encounters behind a wife's or husband's back - but will then go on to describe themselves as "genuine".
To go behind someone's back is in itself somewhat dishonest, so how can you then go on to describe yourself as "genuine" or "reliable"?
Many of these people who post such ads are themselves, and remarkably, looking for discretion and trust!
Thoughts?
i'm male and single. bugger!
I am in a very similar situation, but don't despair!! I have an advert on SH and am a single guy looking for nsa one on one with females. There ARE females out there looking for that type of fun and I have had responses to my ad. I just take the time to get to know people once they make contact and let things move at the ladies pace. Us men tend to want to rush things too much!!
I agree with Bluexxx - I don't think being single is the issue. The main problem for us is competing against the vast number of guys doing the same thing. This is not so much of a problem - you just have to stand out from the crowd! Don't appear desperate for a shag and take your time getting to know people!
Hang on in there
It is awful to think that people can be so narrow. I hate people being the butt of other people's jokes .. but this was just humiliating.
I won't put a recognisable photo on my ad for this very reason. I only send it out via email. There is then nothing to directly link it to the advert. I'm also very cautious of pic hunters.
I'm also saddened when I get replies from females who obviously want a bit of fun but are scared of being perceived as "slappers" or "tarts". This is obviously the dominant view they have received of such people. They even think that I, a male looking for some no strings fun, will view them in this way.
People just don't understand.
I won't put a recognisable photo on my ad for this very reason. I only send it out via email. There is then nothing to directly link it to the advert. I'm also very cautious of pic hunters.
I'm also saddened when I get replies from females who obviously want a bit of fun but are scared of being perceived as "slappers" or "tarts". This is obviously the dominant view they have received of such people. They even think that I, a male looking for some no strings fun, will view them in this way.
People just don't understand.
Why block a post when all you do is tell someone this is the most agresive site i have seen. We have met 5 people 4 fun here but the forum seems to bring out the worst and I bet they are all non committed. ie have never done swinging for real and just use this as a chatroom. Untill we find someone polite we will not be back. Thanks peeps that we met - u have the number.
What a shame you've chosen to vote with your "feet". Everyone has different ways of dealing with things I guess, and all of them are equally ligitimate provided they do not cause offence or illegal!
However, just going is really burning your bridges .. there are plenty of opportunities to discuss this sort of thing on here without just disappearing.
Lastly, I don't see any aggression on here. A lack of communication sometmes ... but not aggression. No-one is picking on you I'm sure.
Apart from:
Anything illegal, including (but not limited to!) the promotion, suggestion or allusion to , or any non consensual acts, drugs (including misuse of prescribed medicines), or any other kind illegal activity.
Anything hateful, like racist remarks, or using offensive terms offensively.
Abusive or aggressive behaviour towards other people on here.
Posting a telephone number anywhere on this site.
Escorting ads or any pay-for-sex type services like 0909 numbers, or pay-for 'gangbang/bukkake parties'.
Advertising for 'stars' for video shoots or photo shoots.
Attempting to sell a service or product of any kind.
Pposts that are only put up in order to exchange pictures, videos or offer photography services or some such.
and Spamming - this means posting a link to a site that is only for commercial purposes and is not a genuine Swingers resource.
Conversely, the forum rules allso allow the mods to delete "anything and everything", so your argment isn't very convincing to me!
Good points! And this is where the whole issue becomes confusing! This only seems to highlight for me that there can't be a "free for all" on both sides ... and that there must be quite a lot of give and take.
I simply read "anything and everything" as the cafe being a place where ANY topic whatsover can be discussed. We COULD potentially discuss in here, provided that we WEREN'T promoting it. We could discuss ANY illegal activity, provided we weren't promoting anything illegal... if you see what I mean.
I think the best way to look at this is to realise that the Mods are trying to make this site as useful and interesting to the readership as they can. What you consider to be a worthwhile post might not be what the Mods, or the readership at large want to read.
No, that is true. It has been discussed earlier that people are free to vote with their feet though - and posts will sink naturally to the bottom of the pile.
What is certain is that opinion will continue to be divided on this .. and that is no bad thing. It's that type of disagreement that will keep dragging the topic up and cause everyone on the site to re-examine ourselves.
Mods are giving their time for free to make the overall SH experience better, not to make your personal SH experience worse - when that happens it's simply an unfortunate side-effect of the very useful moderation process. The Mods have the best interests of the community at heart, and being experienced long-time users of the site themselves they know the community a lot better than you do.
This is all very true and I accept what you say. In my previous posts I have said that I don't claim to know it all, and that I might be missing something too. I am quite open to that fact. I am here to learn.
Bluexxx
I'm not now talking about the incident where I had my posts locked, but about the whole issue of locking in general with other contributors who obviously have differing thoughts and feelings over whether it occurs too frequently and too soon. It was you who raised the issue again earlier. My situation has been dealt with but I am still free to discuss with other contributors issues around locking. Please try and keep an objective eye.
I'm certainly no troll! I'm simply engaging in a debate that has obviously grabbed quite a few people's interests! There is little gained from calling people names ... it only alienates. There are no trolls here that I recognise... only people wanting to discuss a thorny issue. Isn't it insulting to insinuate that people who take the time to contribute on threads such as these are nothing more than timewasters and trolls? Isn't this just another example of flouncing? Not off the site of course ... but walking out of a discussion whilst calling people names?
To everyone ....
There is obviously some disagreement over what the Cafe shold be about. Kitkat has given their very succint overview of what they feel it should be .. and I agree with them, such honesty and openess can only be helpful.
The problem is, the forum posting rules allow people to post on anything and everything, so I can't very well see how they can be pulled up if they do just that! And this if from someone who would like to see the Cafe become something akin to what kitkat has described.
The only solution I can think of it possibly to split the forum .....
Have an "Introductions Forum" where new contributors can come in and say hi, chat about whatever they like and make themselves at home.
Some people are here still deciding if this is really for them. I would count myself as someone who knows he would like one-to-one meets with like minded females -but remain open minded about other aspects of the Swinging lifestye... ruling nothing in and ruling nothing out.
The cafe could then become more of what kitkat has described ... more of place for seasoned regulars maybe! But of course, there would be nothing to stop regulars popping into the introductions forum, inviting people across and raising topics that would challenge them somewhat!
These are just my thoughts ... for what they are worth.
In terms of attitude I think the golden rule ALWAYS applies - treat others as you want to be treated - with dignity and respect.
Exactly. No matter. I have said twice that I trust this matter is now over. You have had a full explanation privately and in public and you have admitted you breached the AUP. I now not only trust this particular matter is over, I KNOW it is.
Off to do something else other than feed trolls
I'm not now talking about the incident where I had my posts locked, but about the whole issue of locking in general with other contributors who obviously have differing thoughts and feelings over whether it occurs too frequently and too soon. It was you who raised the issue again earlier. My situation has been dealt with but I am still free to discuss with other contributors issues around locking. Please try and keep an objective eye.
I'm certainly no troll! I'm simply engaging in a debate that has obviously grabbed quite a few people's interests! There is little gained from calling people names ... it only alienates. There are no trolls here that I recognise... only people wanting to discuss a thorny issue. Isn't it insulting to insinuate that people who take the time to contribute on threads such as these are nothing more than timewasters and trolls? Isn't this just another example of flouncing? Not off the site of course ... but walking out of a discussion whilst calling people names?
To everyone ....
There is obviously some disagreement over what the Cafe shold be about. Kitkat has given their very succint overview of what they feel it should be .. and I agree with them, such honesty and openess can only be helpful.
The problem is, the forum posting rules allow people to post on anything and everything, so I can't very well see how they can be pulled up if they do just that! And this if from someone who would like to see the Cafe become something akin to what kitkat has described.
The only solution I can think of it possibly to split the forum .....
Have an "Introductions Forum" where new contributors can come in and say hi, chat about whatever they like and make themselves at home.
Some people are here still deciding if this is really for them. I would count myself as someone who knows he would like one-to-one meets with like minded females -but remain open minded about other aspects of the Swinging lifestye... ruling nothing in and ruling nothing out.
The cafe could then become more of what kitkat has described ... more of place for seasoned regulars maybe! But of course, there would be nothing to stop regulars popping into the introductions forum, inviting people across and raising topics that would challenge them somewhat!
These are just my thoughts ... for what they are worth.
In terms of attitude I think the golden rule ALWAYS applies - treat others as you want to be treated - with dignity and respect.
I have read and re-read the opening post. I still think (and remain unchanged on this) that people deserve to be told why they have had threads locked. I don't know in this case and it is pointless to speculate.
However, to throw your toys out of the pram and storm off is a bit silly, if not childish. I guess some people just don't know how else to react. On both sides I think the golden rule applies - treat others as you want to be treated.
If you had a post locked for any reason would you want to know why it had been done?
If you are in any sort of relationship at all, would you want to be with someone who threatened to flounce out every time there was a problem?
It's just about mutual respect ... nothing more.
However, to throw your toys out of the pram and storm off is a bit silly, if not childish. I guess some people just don't know how else to react. On both sides I think the golden rule applies - treat others as you want to be treated.
If you had a post locked for any reason would you want to know why it had been done?
If you are in any sort of relationship at all, would you want to be with someone who threatened to flounce out every time there was a problem?
It's just about mutual respect ... nothing more.
Please allow me to repeat myself, I think this site is SUPERB. I have received a very warm welcome here and enjoy being in the chatroom. This site is undoubtedly unique in that it offers swingers a free resource to advertise, chat and meet. There are few people who would give their time and energy to make a project like this possible. So, I hope that everyone is clear on my postition 
But disagreement over certain issues is entirely healthy and a natural part of every day life. One of the reasons I've felt able to post what i have posted is that I feel such a part of this place.
But disagreement over certain issues is entirely healthy and a natural part of every day life. One of the reasons I've felt able to post what i have posted is that I feel such a part of this place.
