well, ive finally got some time off in plymouth, and am free all day/night mon/tues. i was wondering if any ladies want to go for a drink or just want to play?? well i have got an ad 124077. so if there are any ladies interested drop me a line??
hope to hear from you soon!! XXXXXX
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navyguyuk
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
Forum
How to use the ATM
MALE PROCEDURE
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Re-check make up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Drive forwards 7 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23. Re-check make-up again
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 3 to 4 miles
26. Release hand brake
MALE PROCEDURE
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Re-check make up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Drive forwards 7 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
23. Re-check make-up again
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 3 to 4 miles
26. Release hand brake
DEAR GIRLS,
FOR TOO LONG WE MEN HAVE BEEN DIVIDED AND CONQUERED IN THE NAME OF EQUALITY, FEMINISM AND A HOST OF OTHE BOBBINS. NO MORE! THE MAN FIGHTS BACK!! TELL YOUR FRIENDS, THE 90s MAN IS DEAD.... LONG LIVES THE MAN OF 2004.
Listen up ladies, below is how it REALLY is...
If you think you maybe fat, you are. Don’t ask us, just get your arse down the gym.
Learn to work the toilet seat, if its up, put the bloody thing down.
Don’t cut your hair, EVER. It causes unnecessary arguments when we dare to comment on it.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present… again.
Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you… live with it.
Saturday = football. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport.
Anything you wear is fine. Really!!!
Ask for what you want directly. Subtle hints don’t work.
Face it, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
Most blokes own 2 or 3 prs of shoes, so what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of 30, would look good with that dress?
“Yesâ€, “No†and “Mmm†are perfectly acceptable answers.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a fucking doctor!
Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in a subsequent argument.
Its not the dress that makes you look fat, its all that bloody chocolate you eat!!!
Telling us that the models in men’s magazines are airbrushed makes you sound jealous and petty and its certainly not going to deter us from reading them.
The male models with great bodies you see in magazines are all gay.
If something we said could be interpreted 2 ways, and one of these ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercial breaks.
When we are in bed and look tired, this means we are tired and definitely does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
If you want dessert after a meal – have some. You don’t HAVE to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don’t say “No I couldn’t/shouldn’t/don’t want any†and then eat half of mine.
Dieting doesn’t work without exercise.
If you’re on a diet it doesn’t mean my meals should be rabbit food as well.
DO NOT QUESTION OUR SENSE OF DIRECTION.
If you can learn the above, then man & woman can co-exist on a level based on love and mutual respect.
The balls in your court!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR TOO LONG WE MEN HAVE BEEN DIVIDED AND CONQUERED IN THE NAME OF EQUALITY, FEMINISM AND A HOST OF OTHE BOBBINS. NO MORE! THE MAN FIGHTS BACK!! TELL YOUR FRIENDS, THE 90s MAN IS DEAD.... LONG LIVES THE MAN OF 2004.
Listen up ladies, below is how it REALLY is...
If you think you maybe fat, you are. Don’t ask us, just get your arse down the gym.
Learn to work the toilet seat, if its up, put the bloody thing down.
Don’t cut your hair, EVER. It causes unnecessary arguments when we dare to comment on it.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present… again.
Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you… live with it.
Saturday = football. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport.
Anything you wear is fine. Really!!!
Ask for what you want directly. Subtle hints don’t work.
Face it, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
Most blokes own 2 or 3 prs of shoes, so what makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of 30, would look good with that dress?
“Yesâ€, “No†and “Mmm†are perfectly acceptable answers.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a fucking doctor!
Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in a subsequent argument.
Its not the dress that makes you look fat, its all that bloody chocolate you eat!!!
Telling us that the models in men’s magazines are airbrushed makes you sound jealous and petty and its certainly not going to deter us from reading them.
The male models with great bodies you see in magazines are all gay.
If something we said could be interpreted 2 ways, and one of these ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we rate how pretty you are.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercial breaks.
When we are in bed and look tired, this means we are tired and definitely does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
If you want dessert after a meal – have some. You don’t HAVE to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don’t say “No I couldn’t/shouldn’t/don’t want any†and then eat half of mine.
Dieting doesn’t work without exercise.
If you’re on a diet it doesn’t mean my meals should be rabbit food as well.
DO NOT QUESTION OUR SENSE OF DIRECTION.
If you can learn the above, then man & woman can co-exist on a level based on love and mutual respect.
The balls in your court!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subject: English for the man & woman
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
We need = I want.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
You're so .. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.
MEN'S ENGLISH:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
We need = I want.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
You're so .. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.
MEN'S ENGLISH:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
:evil: :evil:
lmao
how very true rog, but believe me ive got two selling points... im 6ft 7ins tall, and have got a pierced tongue!! but im not here for just casual sex, (but obviously it would be nice) but mostly to broaden my horizons and meet people, but obviously my job keeps my sphere of friends quite small so meeting new people who are broad minded is very rare!!!
