Quote by McCloggie
If it is genuine then there is something far wrong with this guy.
Actually my genuine post got locked and told to use this thread instead. Kinda odd I thought. Oh well.
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Quote by the_magik_s
Well as you may have noticed.. i edited my original post and deleted the bit about "attention seeking" coz i thought it may be a bit harsh but then i realised... I BACK TRACKED!!!... :shock: How un-manly am i?!!...bloody hell.... pot & kettle
I'd not noticed, and had you not said anything I doubt others would have either :-)
Are you doing coffee? I could do with a strong one....
Quote by the_magik_s
Nick..
a bit of advice mate.
*Dont start a thread for the sake of it by picking something alien to yourself just for arguments sake (coz as you see.. you will get an argument)
*and if the above should happen... dont back trackso much (its not exactly a turn on and shows a distinct lack of Will power and manly-ness)
*And finally.. dont take yourself so seriously. Althougn back tracking isnt cool... turning around early doors and saying "hey im being stupid excuse moi im just tryiing to get some attention here would have been better and would have shown a sense of humor"
have fun mate
Hmm, you raise a point I hadn't considered. Was it just attention seeking? It wasn't conscious, but I could just have easily clicked the reply button in Rachel's thread and asked there, something I would have normally done. But I didn't... hmm.
I don't mind back-tracking when I've made a mistake, I think it's the right thing to do and I'm not bothered if it 'doesn't look manly' or not, I'm not trying to look manly.
And yes, I take myself (and everyone else) far too seriously. It's just the way I am I'm afraid :-D
Quote by PoloLady
I thought the nifty backtracking, the complete change in direction and turnaround of his questions (to something completely different to his original scrawling of pants) demonstrated a pretty agile range of footwork!
Well thank you, but it was really down to my incompetence at explaining what i wanted the first time around. :-)
Err, look. I've apologised for causing offence, I've apologised for getting my terms confused, and I've attempted to put things right by starting over in a new thread.
What else do I have to do before you'll treat me like a person?
(not directed at everyone, just those who continue to jibe)
What else do I have to do before you'll treat me like a person?
(not directed at everyone, just those who continue to jibe)
Quote by da69ve
You may want to read the first post in this thread.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/43465.html
It was that thread which I had been reading and which prompted me to post in the first place. Her issues are not quite the same with regards to having to mend a marriage though, and the discussion that's happened in the rest of that thread has all been about post-op (I think?) getting back to having a life, which is interesting but doesn't really help me wrt marriage saving.
Quote by PoloLady
In that context the noun (your choice of noun) is what may cause offence. Try exchanging "them" for "anyone".
Yep, that would work too, although you'd lose specificity. If I've learnt one thing from this whole mess it's that people here have a much lower threshold for what they would find offensive than I am used to, and I will take that into account in future.
Quote by PoloLady
Still curious about how the interracial thing links into the issue of helping your friend – but I’ll save that one.
It doesn't at all, I was just rambling, since I was making a new topic. Note to self: stick to one topic per post from now on :-)
Quote by PoloLady
P.S.
It might be a good start (seeing as you hate generalising) to not refer to people with similarity in their sexuality as "them" as if they are a cloned homogonous group.
Umm, feel free to suggest a collective noun of your own (seriously). I don't see that using the word 'them' implies any kind of homogeneity just as it wouldn't if I described a group of schoolchildren, lego bricks, tv presenters, circus performers, or anything else.
Quote by hornet harlot
I am sure there must be more specific sites you could look up and that can answer your question both from personal experiences, medical, physical and sphycological issues and changes faced by your friend.
I am sure there are. If anyone can point me to a good one I'd appreciate it.
Quote by the_Laird
Nick
Whilst I can't give you any personal advice, I know that there are other in this community who can and no doubt will give you the benefit of their knowledge and experience.
Hope you get your answers and I admire your bottle in posting again so soon
Thank you. I respect those who can forgive one who makes dumb mistakes. :-)
Quote by the_Laird
Although I very much doubt that an established member would have posted something which had an exceptionally high risk of causing offence to so many people
Perhaps the best advice is from Happy Cats
I'm sure youre not prejudiced but it could be read that way. Just try to think whether you could be offending anyone before you post
Yes, thank you both for some rational replies. I do (sincerely) apologise for causing offense, it was not intended and I was truly surprised by the response the original post generated. To that end, can I ask why a simple depiction, such as "22st HGV driver-type bloke," would cause offense to anyone? It was purely to conjure up a common stereotype image in reader's minds.
To Cats:
I am prejudiced, just as every single other human being is. I try as best I can not to let such prejudices affect my opinions of or interactions with others though. I am racist too as I think Irish girls are cute. Yep, that's racist. I just hope people realise that saying I didn't find blacks or east asians attractive is not the same as saying I disliked them (which is not the case at all). People who posted replies seemed to assume too much or read things that weren't there. (Well, 'cept mixing up transsexuals and transvestites, I hardly ever use the terms in conversation!)
Anyways, I posted another thread so this one can die an ungraceful and abrupt death.
Hi everyone, my friend Rebecca (new name) is having a tough time in her marriage as she has recently started on the road to becoming a transsexual. Her wife is not best pleased with the new situation, to put it mildly, and Rebecca doesn't have many people she can turn to around her, so confides in me as I am across the Atlantic. I don't know very much about the matter and would like to hear from those on this board who also know transsexuals and can give me advice on how to support my friend during this time.
(I hope that's better than the last topic - I put more thought into what I wrote this time)
(I hope that's better than the last topic - I put more thought into what I wrote this time)
Quote by da69ve
Well the best person to tell you that ...would be her!
Yes indeed, but not the only person. She doesn't have the time nor should she need to tell me everything.
To all:
If people here are just going to abuse folks when they ask for opinions on sensitive matters, I'm not surprised you shun all the new folks away. Please show some courtesy.
I grant you my original post ended up being rather rambling and I changed the topic three times as i wrote. I should have posted two topics. In fact, this newbie-bashing/flame fest thread should probably be locked and I'll try again. bluexxx, would you do the honours?
Quote by bluexxx
I was wanting to know what other people thought on the subject, that's all.
No, I don't think you do - really I don't think you want to know at all
:evil: :evil:That's not true at all. I wouldn't have written about it if I didn't care! but as we have one transsexual (is there an abbreviation for this like?) on the boards here and Rebecca has been talking to me a lot recently about her wife, I wanted to offer some more valuable words of advice. Please don't all jump on me for getting the terminology confused :-/
Quote by Scandal
Remind me to never visit Hertfordshire
Quote by Clare_Lincs
That you cant judge a book by its cover,people arent just skin deep you know.
Oh, i'm not judging them, as I said I have friends who are transsexuals (and of course many black & asian friends) but just that I didn't find them attractive. I think you misunderstood. I am sure you have friend you don't find attractive too, do you not? I was wanting to know what other people thought on the subject, that's all.
I was just wondering how many transsexualss people know, and how well.
I know two, both in the US and both computer programmers who went male -> female. One is pre-op, one post, and i am good friends with the former, acquaintances with the latter.
The girl who's had her operation had a very understanding wife (she knew of his intentions prior to getting married, but it took a couple of decades to get around to it) whereas my other friend's hispanic wife doesn't understand and their marriage is facing very difficult times. I hope things turn out okay for the pair of them.
I hate to make sweeping generalisations, but I have to admit that I've never met a transsexual that I've found attractive, and doubt I ever will. But then i don't find black or east-asian people attractive either. I was at the polling station last week and saw a couple, obviously very much in love, he was a lard & HGVs type 22st. bloke, she was a tiny vietnamese girl, about 10 years older than him. I welcome diversity, but think I'll leave it to other folks all the same.
What do you think on these sorts of matters?
I know two, both in the US and both computer programmers who went male -> female. One is pre-op, one post, and i am good friends with the former, acquaintances with the latter.
The girl who's had her operation had a very understanding wife (she knew of his intentions prior to getting married, but it took a couple of decades to get around to it) whereas my other friend's hispanic wife doesn't understand and their marriage is facing very difficult times. I hope things turn out okay for the pair of them.
I hate to make sweeping generalisations, but I have to admit that I've never met a transsexual that I've found attractive, and doubt I ever will. But then i don't find black or east-asian people attractive either. I was at the polling station last week and saw a couple, obviously very much in love, he was a lard & HGVs type 22st. bloke, she was a tiny vietnamese girl, about 10 years older than him. I welcome diversity, but think I'll leave it to other folks all the same.
What do you think on these sorts of matters?
Quote by outdoor_games
shhh, there might be someone who is a Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia on this forum and you just scared the shit out of them! :mrgreen:
They would be a Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic though, wouldn't they?
I thought it might be a phobia of monstrous hippos.
Quote by Ice Pie
Hi Nick.
Every day is newbie day.
:welcome: to :swingingchair: heaven.
Ice
Ahh, fair enough. I looked through the recent posts (back a month or so) and there only seemed to be a lot of "Hi, I'm a newbie" posts dating from the past five days or so. I guess I'll be considered a veteren by >50% of the board within a month then :-)
Quote by foxylady 123
only if you do it very loudly so i have a valid excuse for gagging u!!
Thinking about there are quiet a few people round here id like to gag!!
Is that because you wish they'd shut up or because you would like to stop the police from disturbing your little sessions?
you know you have apoint about the police, they are always trying to join in, but im not inot uniforms only yellow safety helmets!!
okay, that somewhat scares me. i don't dare ask why one would need safety helmets, but you could always try it with a padded headboard instead.
just a suggestion...
Quote by foxylady 123
only if you do it very loudly so i have a valid excuse for gagging u!!
Thinking about there are quiet a few people round here id like to gag!!
Is that because you wish they'd shut up or because you would like to stop the police from disturbing your little sessions?
Quote by foxylady 123
no dont think ill bother, i already know its crap, thats why i dont go there!!
That's quite fair enough. I wouldn't come here if I wasn't already stuck here. I might go out chav-counting later, see how many i can spot. I'm going to place my bets at 35 for a 10-minute walkabout.
