Thanks for another great night Bambi. I know it's a lot of work to orgainise these events, so I'm glad for you that it all worked out well. Hope you got out of it at least as much as you put into it.
Look forward to another one at some point in the future perhaps?
Mx
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partyman
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 63
0 miles · Birmingham
Forum
Casanova
Just thought I'd say hello.
I went off internet swingers sites some years ago, but have decided to give them another try to see if things have changed. As I had an old account lying fallow, I thought I'd revamp it and see what happens.
Hopefully this may bring better luck this time around.
So, hello to all!!!
I went off internet swingers sites some years ago, but have decided to give them another try to see if things have changed. As I had an old account lying fallow, I thought I'd revamp it and see what happens.
Hopefully this may bring better luck this time around.
So, hello to all!!!
Casanova
Coloured by personal experience, of when I was still at school, involving another old gay guy with a young boys preference...Also I knew someone who was in his late 50's who was always going on about chatting up young girls at the pubs / clubs. It was all over when we were driving past a school one day and he (a non-pareent) was able to tell me about what time school was out and which way the kids would head to their bus stops, not just at the school that we were driving past but at other schools as well.
Alarm bells start ringing to me when old guys are looking for young boys (or girls) Sorry if the alarm bells are false alarms, but better safe than sorry.
Alarm bells start ringing to me when old guys are looking for young boys (or girls) Sorry if the alarm bells are false alarms, but better safe than sorry.
Casanova
Why not get a whole gaggle of SH members do a "UK Tour" of Swinging Clubs? We can then have "Reviews" of the official "SH Judging Panel" (Bags I get to get paid the same as Simon Cowell for my views 
) The SH management could even sponsor the tour tee shirts and other merchendise. Could be a good promotion opportunity for all concerned.
) The SH management could even sponsor the tour tee shirts and other merchendise. Could be a good promotion opportunity for all concerned. Casanova
Quote by little gem
I'd like to be able to see the clubs in order of area rather than "most popular".
I like that idea. I've seen other sites use image maps (of the UK) where you click on a coloured region to see what clubs are reviewed in that area. OK, it's an unoriginal idea, but so is the wheel, but they both work well.
Food for thought perhaps?
BTW - thanks to everyone for making this a constructive thread, and thanks to the Admins for taking note. Look forward to seeing the end product.
Casanova
Another suggestion, ST3V3 kicked out a Review for Club One2One (or something) for allegations of ladies working at the club "accepting payments" (see http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/76350.html)
I've long been a supporter of reviews of brothels beiing kept out of the Swinging Clubs section, so fully support this action. Can we also have consistency with this rule? There are at least 2 other "clubs" listed which are used as brothels. (ST3V3 - details available upon request)
Maybe splitting the reviews into "Swinging Clubs", "House Parties" and "Brothels" may be a fairer way forward when the Reviews section gets revamped.
I've long been a supporter of reviews of brothels beiing kept out of the Swinging Clubs section, so fully support this action. Can we also have consistency with this rule? There are at least 2 other "clubs" listed which are used as brothels. (ST3V3 - details available upon request)
Maybe splitting the reviews into "Swinging Clubs", "House Parties" and "Brothels" may be a fairer way forward when the Reviews section gets revamped.
Casanova
A while ago, the owners wanted volunteers to do new reviews of swingers clubs. Has any progress been made?
Just had a look at the reviews, and the current facility in in need of a lot of updating. Firstly, I know of one club - Club Sparx which is listed there, despite having been out of business for over a year now.
The most recent review of the Garden of Eden seems to be from Dec 2004. I'm not sure, but didn't this club burn down between then and now?
Other reviews give clues as to when they were written, and these are often similarly out of date. A Review Date on each review would be much better to gain an idea of how current a review is. Also, some form of filtering out of reviews over (say) 6 months old could also be worth considering.
Finally, some people here seem to be "campaigners" for certain clubs. e.g. "One Particular Cpl" who make regular reviews of Xtasia, Surely it's not the purpose of the Reviews to become an individual swingers Blog is it? A restriction of 1 review per member every 3 months might not be a bad idea.
Just some ideas. What other improvements do people think can be made? If the owners are about, when are the improvements to this feature scheduled to happen?
Just had a look at the reviews, and the current facility in in need of a lot of updating. Firstly, I know of one club - Club Sparx which is listed there, despite having been out of business for over a year now.
The most recent review of the Garden of Eden seems to be from Dec 2004. I'm not sure, but didn't this club burn down between then and now?
Other reviews give clues as to when they were written, and these are often similarly out of date. A Review Date on each review would be much better to gain an idea of how current a review is. Also, some form of filtering out of reviews over (say) 6 months old could also be worth considering.
Finally, some people here seem to be "campaigners" for certain clubs. e.g. "One Particular Cpl" who make regular reviews of Xtasia, Surely it's not the purpose of the Reviews to become an individual swingers Blog is it? A restriction of 1 review per member every 3 months might not be a bad idea.
Just some ideas. What other improvements do people think can be made? If the owners are about, when are the improvements to this feature scheduled to happen?
Casanova
Ask yourself this...what makes you look NOT gay, and what makes you different to the Boy Racers that plague the car parks?
I don't know the answer to those questions, and if the couples who you are trying to get your "First experience" :shock: with can't tell either, then you will need to look at changing things around a bit.
It's the things like the car that you drive (e.g. hot hatch with spotlights and drug dealer windows?) or the clothes that you wear (e.g. basebal caps, hoodies etc) and your hairstyle (e.g. crew cuts with accompanying moustaches) that trigger off peoples stereotypes in their minds. I'm not saying that any of these apply to you, only you can answer that one. but that's the area that you need to be looking...the stuff that makes your first impression.
I don't know the answer to those questions, and if the couples who you are trying to get your "First experience" :shock: with can't tell either, then you will need to look at changing things around a bit.
It's the things like the car that you drive (e.g. hot hatch with spotlights and drug dealer windows?) or the clothes that you wear (e.g. basebal caps, hoodies etc) and your hairstyle (e.g. crew cuts with accompanying moustaches) that trigger off peoples stereotypes in their minds. I'm not saying that any of these apply to you, only you can answer that one. but that's the area that you need to be looking...the stuff that makes your first impression.
Casanova
Quote by freckledbird
I wasn't saying anything about numbers (or quoting any lies or statistics, actually
the "Lies, damned Lies and Statistics" reference is an old quote from Lloyd-George, (at his dismay that a good statistician can roll out figures to prove anything), going back about 100 years. I just like to use that phrase whenever getting involved in any sort of number crunching or stuff like that. Nothing personal intended 
Casanova
Quote by freckledbird
Suppose it's the same ratio as single male moaners to single female moaners. That is, there aren't many single females who complain that nobody will meet them, are there?
Lies, damned lies and STATISTICS time...there are more single men on the scene than single women, so there will be more male voices of any sort than female, discontented voices as much as anything else.
Secondly, as seems to been agreed, the chances are that female swingers gain much readier acceptance, so will fulfil their desires, so will have no cause to come on here to moan.
Casanova
Quote by cc_7up
Often it's the male of a couple who initiates interest in swinging with the female going along with the female then gets right into it however what's a chap to do when she says ok i've tried it but it's not for me?
There are 3 main routes he can take as i see it.
1. Forget about swinging. :shock:
2. Obtain her permission to swing as a single male. (rare)
3. Swing behind her back / cheat. ( recipe for trouble) :uhoh:
Any more that you can think of?
cc_7up
Well if the guy has an irresistable urge to swing, to go to clubs, to play with his balls, to meet new people, enjoy a great social life and to make the cut, then maybe he should take up GOLF instread.
Just a thought.
Casanova
Quote by Shireen_Mids
I am with Dawn and Ian on this one I am afraid... If you dont have your partners permission then it's not swinging...
I'm with you on that as well, and in an ideal world we will all be issued with swinging passports that can be inspected by whoever to see who has permission to do what...
...but...
,,,in real life situations, guys who get bitten first time will lie through their teeth to avoid complicated explinations (as mentioned by Neil), so couples will inadvertantly swing with married men whether they know it or not...and no-one will care two hoots about the marital status (let alone domestic permissions) of a fortuitous (possibly bi) single female that they happen to get on well with. What's the betting that where sex with a female is on offer, what you don't know won't huirt you?
It'a not the principle of what constitutes swinging that is at stake here, it's what I bet is the dual standards faced by men compared to women.
Casanova
Quote by gingerjo-lee
sent u pm dan
cya tonight jo xxx
I hope that he replied with a "Thank You"...as there certainly was no "please" in his request / demand in the first place. :shock:
I dunno...whatever happened to manners???...no wonder the dogging game is going, er, to the dogs
Casanova
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Doesn't matter to me if they are male or female or there reasons for swinging if they are honest with their partner
Well that's fair enough. Assuming that starmanxx is being as honest with his partner as he is with the rest of us, how is he to be given the benefit of the doubt? Does he have to carry a signed letter of consent from his wife whenever he goes to meet someone?
Casanova
I love these sort of threads. A guy's preceived acceptability in the swinging scene seems to be dependant upon his marital status, and whether or not his wife approves...OK...
I wonder how this thread would have gone if a married woman, whose husband had lost his sex drive, wanted to swing alone, or even explore her bisexuality. I wonder if she would have had a mailbox full of "helpful" PM's or whether she would encounter the same prejudices as a man?
No, actually, I don't think there is anything to wonder about at all, on second thoughts... :shock:
I wonder how this thread would have gone if a married woman, whose husband had lost his sex drive, wanted to swing alone, or even explore her bisexuality. I wonder if she would have had a mailbox full of "helpful" PM's or whether she would encounter the same prejudices as a man?
No, actually, I don't think there is anything to wonder about at all, on second thoughts... :shock:
Casanova
I can back up what ukvoyeur and Sarah have said. You will only get half of the acceptedinvitations actually ringing your door bell, and only half of your invitations get accepted, so if you look at your guest list, divide it by 4 to get close to what to expect. If you are opening it up to "internet invitations", you can expect your ratio to go down to 1 in 5 people who accept turning up.
Additionally...
Decide in advance and tell everyone if you are having single guys there. No point inviting couples from the "couples only" crowd if there are going to be singles present. Somebody is bound to throw a strop, storm out, and / or create an atmosphere.
Car parking is a major issue. I used to co-run parties in Derby myself, and at a peak, we had 20 couples and 10 single guys turn up...that was 30 cars worth! Nip out this evening and see how many parking spaces there are around you, and remember that on the night of the party, guests could be skimpilly dressed and it could be raining.
How noise-proof is your house? The house that had "my" parties in Derby was also detached, but it was in close proximity to other houses in the estate. It meant that windows could not be opened for fear of the noise getting out. 50 active bodies (producing heat) and closed windows...you can guess the rest...
Which brings me on to ventialtion. You will need lots of it. Fans are good, but those ice powered air coolers are better.
Invest in at least an extra bin per room. All parties ought to be BYOC (C= condoms) but having somewhere very obvious to throw the wrappers / "empties" saves finding them later where you would rather they weren't hidden.
Remember that if you charge an "admission fee", and someone gets hurt and wants compensation, (where there's pain there's a claim) your household insurance company will consider your party to have been done "for profit" and your insurance will be invalid, unless you tell them in advance that your house is being used for a business venture. That said, if you charge an admission fee, SH won't allow you to use their name for it anyway.
Additionally...
Decide in advance and tell everyone if you are having single guys there. No point inviting couples from the "couples only" crowd if there are going to be singles present. Somebody is bound to throw a strop, storm out, and / or create an atmosphere.
Car parking is a major issue. I used to co-run parties in Derby myself, and at a peak, we had 20 couples and 10 single guys turn up...that was 30 cars worth! Nip out this evening and see how many parking spaces there are around you, and remember that on the night of the party, guests could be skimpilly dressed and it could be raining.
How noise-proof is your house? The house that had "my" parties in Derby was also detached, but it was in close proximity to other houses in the estate. It meant that windows could not be opened for fear of the noise getting out. 50 active bodies (producing heat) and closed windows...you can guess the rest...
Which brings me on to ventialtion. You will need lots of it. Fans are good, but those ice powered air coolers are better.
Invest in at least an extra bin per room. All parties ought to be BYOC (C= condoms) but having somewhere very obvious to throw the wrappers / "empties" saves finding them later where you would rather they weren't hidden.
Remember that if you charge an "admission fee", and someone gets hurt and wants compensation, (where there's pain there's a claim) your household insurance company will consider your party to have been done "for profit" and your insurance will be invalid, unless you tell them in advance that your house is being used for a business venture. That said, if you charge an admission fee, SH won't allow you to use their name for it anyway.
Casanova
Quote by gentlemanfor2
the auther never ads to the post ?
Scroll up 3 from your post, and you will see that they did post again. :P
More funny though is that they post an invitation to their show, stating that it will be in Derby on a Saturday, and one reply is received, in time for the Sat Evening, wanting THEM to travel to Nottingham. Gimme a break guys...it's the couples who call the shots in this game. Guys, if you are in the next town, get ready to do the travelling or to miss out. Expecting the couples to come to your doorstep and then perform for you is really taking the pea!
Casanova
Quote by hugs1
Maybe try copying the text when you've finished it, before you press send. Then check you're logged in, paste it and then send it. If it disappears then you can just re-paste it and try again.
Might Work!
Mrs H xx
I agree. I tend to use Notepad (Windows's most underestimated accessory) to write the text out first if I'm makeing a long posting, and then copy / paste the text into the web page form.
That said, the Clubs Review facility has been notoriously flakey over the years. At least some of the reviews are now less than 9 months out of date, but I suspect that not all the bugs have been ironed out.
Casanova
Quote by mdr2000
Recipe for disaster buddy....
Your either single or not... :shock:
I disagree. I met my swing-partner at a swingers club (we were both single swingers at the time), got on great and have teamed up as a result. Now we both have the optiion of either playing "singles" on our own or playing "doubles" when we go out together.
If swinging is supposed to be about liberated lifestyles, then why apply that "single or not" constraint to it?
Casanova
Quote by hornyss
chameleons or xtasia, suggesstions????
First time at a club - do you want the first thing that you do to be to strip off down to a towel? If so Chameleons is your best bet. Otherwise, if you want to be able to dress up and be in a nightclub based club with dancefloor and stuff, then Xtasia is a better bet.
As for the people who you meet there...they tend to be the same folk in the main, "doing the rounds". You can meet someone in one club one day and next time you see them will be at the other club. One major difference will be that you will get a few more single guys in Chameleons, if that's what you are looking for.
You are resonding to someone's request dating back to 2004. They made 2 posts in all their time on this site. I hardly think that they will be back to read your reply. Casanova
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Dont have a downer on it, it is a definate no go area. Too many reasons why this could go wrong and is not allowed on the open forums.
OK, how about a closed forum for "genuine" members whose names are known here and who have clocked up at least (say) 50 posts in this forum? Technically I am sure it can be done.
Some way of sharing important news and not just gossip could be considered beneficial, amongst those who have a genuine interest and not just a fleeting flirt with the idea of dogging.
