polo lady, every time i see your profile it gets me going. Why, oh, why couldn't you be there today( apart from the loads of miles) you are making me feel loads better.
jeffxx
Sexlightened
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sexycouple22
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 53
Bisexual Female, 60
UK
Forum
Sexlightened
you are all not right. :shock: 
:D :D I'm going home now to smell cabbages and get ready for work.
jeff
:D :D I'm going home now to smell cabbages and get ready for work.jeff
Sexlightened
i'm sorry i asked, i've said it before and i'll say it again. oyu're a bunch of bloody nutters, lol. I think that is why i love this site so much.
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
thing is, i managed the sex. It justwasn't as hard as i'd like. it was still semi asleep. and i did mention it to our guest and he was fine, it's just me
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
whats a bump? i'm a relative virgin on forums and such. Be gentle, lol.
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
i knew as soon as i put on coming what would happen. In case it matters i DID :shock: :shock: :shock: . it just woulndnt work. Must buy a conainter load of xxxxxxxxxxxx lol, you are all a bunch of gits, just wish i could meet everyone face to face, it would be a mental time. :D
jeff
:D jeff
Sexlightened
Just had my first case of performance anxiety. Any one got any tips on how to get rid ( we arerelative newbies, thanks you know who) any tips would be great. And not sacastic ones, i've been on this site too long, i know whats coming)
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
The only trouble with swinging(or the lifestyle, i've watched CSI) is that you have a fantastic day, night, afternoon whatever .You cant shout about it. I want to go out and shout 'i've just had mind blowing sex' and i can't. It's a bastard. All i can dois talk on here. Also you might want to reply to my thread on performance anxiety.
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
Am i getting confused, but is ther no tax increase for pre 2001 cars? If thats the case i'm happy, if not i'm sad :cry: . All this tqalk about caravansis great but if i towed one god knows what crap i'd put out.( about 10 to the gallon i think)
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
Thought of another one or two
Loco gringos like to party, and when they drink tequila they bite through the worm
Loco gringos by the reverend horton heat
A neon bus painted like the mexican flag,
hey there pablo what you got in the bag?
Pornos
Loco gringos, again
Nobody likes you when you're dead
Dead girl by zombina and the skelitones
How about them potatoes for obscure
Loco gringos like to party, and when they drink tequila they bite through the worm
Loco gringos by the reverend horton heat
A neon bus painted like the mexican flag,
hey there pablo what you got in the bag?
Pornos
Loco gringos, again
Nobody likes you when you're dead
Dead girl by zombina and the skelitones
How about them potatoes for obscure
Sexlightened
you're pretty when your drunk (and i'm pretty fuckin drunk)
pretty when you're drunk, Bloodhound gang.
pretty when you're drunk, Bloodhound gang.
Sexlightened
We haven't bumped into anyone yet, but in our local i'm sure we saw one of the couples members and they do seem to be a few members from around us( we live in a small village) must be something in the air 
Ps mrs sexycouple wouldn't let me pm the couple in question, just to see if it was them. :cry:
Ps mrs sexycouple wouldn't let me pm the couple in question, just to see if it was them. :cry:
Sexlightened
neilin leeds, sorry, it may have sounded like i was getting at you. I wasn't, it's just you used an argument that i've heard loads of times. I can't get a bus to work and i work daft shifts any way so i need a car that is capable of starting what ever the conditions and getting me to work in comfort. I also work bloody hard and pay a shit load of income tax so why should the goverment get any more of my money?
Sexlightened
Quote by neilinleeds
Oh FGS!
look! 4x4s?
stupidly expensive, stupidly polluting, big bloody cars. it has bugger all to do with anything other than the fact that are polluting monsters that in the main have no place on the road? hence the name "off road vehicles!"
my heart bleeds for BMW X5 owners having to pay an extra few bob a week, for the luxury of running some of the most un-environmentally friendly cars on the planet . . .
. . . . . cars that have a negative impact on the rest of us!
not to mention the impact on kids when you run into them on the school run!
you want the damn things, all well and good, but some lifestyle choices, that we are all free to make, have to be paid for! :roll:
sorry if this sounds scathing . . . . but it is . . . . kind of?
neil x x x ;)
I drive a 3.6 jag, i am not rich nor do i really give a toss about the planet but the fact is someone may have saved to buy their "gas guzzler" and are living on a shoe string to run it. i know i am but i have a car i've wanted for 25 years and by god i'll keep it no matter what. the road tax should either go back to what it was, the road fund licence and be used to keep roads in good condition( because they are shocking at the mo) or be added to fuel and the road tax scrapped.
jeff
Sexlightened
me and Lynne didn't find the twins(could be fun and the mother daughter thing i've done)
lynne's shocked because she's just found out. I am such a tart
jeff
lynne's shocked because she's just found out. I am such a tart
jeff
Sexlightened
hi i am lynne, mrs sexy couple, and i so beat my partners score as i am ultra kinky and my partner is not x. :bounce:
the score was 525, and it's not bloody funny(jeff)
the score was 525, and it's not bloody funny(jeff)
Sexlightened
Just got 460, hey i'm a major league kinkster! Just wait til the wife finds out :D looks like i'm in for some fun tonight. Break out the squirty cream and feathers and dress like a romainian fish wife ( or maybe thats just me 
)
super kinky jeff
:D looks like i'm in for some fun tonight. Break out the squirty cream and feathers and dress like a romainian fish wife ( or maybe thats just me )super kinky jeff
Sexlightened
Tell me about being arse by the goverment. I've got a 3.6 jag, not because i'm rich or flash but because i've always wanted to be the saint (younger members might want to ask their dads or very possibly their mums). I get beasted on fuel, as it only does 17 mpg around town and i get hammered with road tax and insurance while some spotty little git in a c*rsa with a body kit and huge wheels( which he probably hasn't declared on his insurance ) pays about 10p for tax. I get my own back when thay try to race though. The looks on their lttle faces when a huge 16 year old barge( same as most of their girlfriends) pulls away from them with a roar is great. Sometimes it's fun to be a petty child.
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
hi everybody(hi doctor nick), has anyone got any weird names for sex that can beat this one? If me and lynne have sex in a certain position and it's really deep, she gets a bellyache that she says is really nice( never had a nice bellyache) and she calls that a belly fuck. any one got any better ones?
jeff
jeff
Sexlightened
I think i've started something here. Ban the socks is a great idea. less sockage, more gratuitous nudity i say. And while we are on can we ban socks when worn with sandals and flip flops? Please :D :D :D
:D :D :D Sexlightened
I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but whilst watch an adult interest bongo film the other night with the missus( purely for research), a disturbing image reared it's head. I noticed that a lot of male performers are leaving their socks on!!! I checked out a few more films and another couple were the same. Is this a new trend or just laziness? There can't be anything less sexy than socks during sex. :shock:
Sexlightened
Just been telling my wife more details(while she's in the bath, no photos unfotunatly) And she says to tell your sister she is one of the bravest people she has heard of. As one cancer sufferer to another, stay positive and keep well. We are both thinking of you and hope you get really better soon
Jeff and Lynne xx
Jeff and Lynne xx
Sexlightened
I think feuer frei! is about the best song i've heard. It sounds really good on xXx. mind you that's got Vin Deisel in(my wifes current fantasy man, before that it was Brad Pitt in interveiw with the vampire). Have you tried The Bloodhound Gang yet? Hooray for boobies is a great album. Fantastic song titles like 'You're pretty when i'm drunk(and i'm pretty fuckin' drunk)' Genius.
Sexlightened
We are goth(her) and a biker who into most things hard and heavy, fnar,(me). listening to ramstein and type o negative at the mo. You should see peoples face when i go down the street with ramstein blasting out of the jag. And our local pub, in i really small small seaside village , has just just got pantera on the jukebox.
Sexlightened
As long as women dont go hunting for my prostate i'm happy. :eeek:
Sexlightened
It had been twisted for about 4 days before i went into hospital. After going through that i don't think i could fancy the snip. They do it while you're awake dont they? :eeek:
Sexlightened
Quote by Sassy-Seren
don't see how it would matter, most can't find one so looking for two would be a nightmare
:giggle: Most men could't find it with a freaking map !!!!
You just need to find the right men, sassy, Juast listen out for the squeal when you hit the right spot :twisted:
