Compromise or Stop?

1 Nov 2005

Reading about Doggingtwo's recent night time adventure inspired this thought....so thinking caps on ladies and gents! biggrin

A lot of couples seem to be overlooked by doggers as "nah they only show" or "pr*ckteasers" because they prefer to let doggers watch than join in. This must drive away some couples completely as they feel unwelcome or unappreciated while others might not be bothered and carry on regardless. However, is there a point at which couples will compromise in order to continue the thrill of dogging rather than have no audience at all? Would you move your boundaries a little/a lot to feed your exhibitionist needs or would you stick to your guns even if it means no watchers at all?

1 Nov 2005

but then if im not mistaken isnt that what dogging is to watch couples perform sexy acts and for peole to watch and if you are lucky you may be able to join in and that to me is the most exciting part of dogging will it or wont it
happy and safe dogging

1 Nov 2005

No, that's part of my point!
That's what dogging was but it's become different things to different people and what I've asked is whether couples are making compromises because of that or not.

1 Nov 2005

Quote by Serendipity
Reading about Doggingtwo's recent night time adventure inspired this thought....so thinking caps on ladies and gents!
A lot of couples seem to be overlooked by doggers as "nah they only show" or "pr*ckteasers" because they prefer to let doggers watch than join in. This must drive away some couples completely as they feel unwelcome or unappreciated while others might not be bothered and carry on regardless. However, is there a point at which couples will compromise in order to continue the thrill of dogging rather than have no audience at all? Would you move your boundaries a little/a lot to feed your exhibitionist needs or would you stick to your guns even if it means no watchers at all?

As a single dogger now quite a few of the male doggers I see at sites are usually Older gents out of shape, rude people, pushy arrogant twits or boy racers so its hardly surprising that some couples wouldnâ€™t touch them with a barge pole.
When I used to go out with girl friend we would flee at the first sight of any of the above however, despite saying that she would never play with a single guy she did compromise occasionally when she felt comfortable (which was very rare)
As for couples being overlooked by guys who just want to touch then thatâ€™s the guyâ€™s loss if they can't understand the concept of dogging, some of the best experiences I've had have been watching couples copulate in the back of cars.
.

1 Nov 2005

You should never compromise. After all , you are the ones doing us a favour by showing.
If someone wont stay around if there isn't more on offer then it's their loss. And anyway, there are other couples around who are willing to do more so let them go away and find them.
If you have agreed limits before setting out, then exceeding those limits will only cause you problems.

1 Nov 2005

Thats not true at all CF we dont see it that way . Voyeurs need exhibitionists and exhibitionists need voyeurs ( theres often a little of each in most) . That said in answer to the lovely Serendip - we wouldnt feel like it was compromise really . We dont do many things because we dont want to . As we have said to the many 'rule lists' attempted on here the only rule is if it isnt fun then stop doing it .
We dont criticise those that want to shag an entire carpark bareback if thats what all parties concerned find fun and wouldnt expect ( nor take seriously) any critique from them about our preferences .
Although we would guess that if it came to establishing who were the more sensual and sexually imaginative and downright sexy of the two groups , Id bet on the slow boiling showers against the whip em out and bend over brigade every time (even if you only examine the couples who post their experiences on here- you know who you are) .
Anyway , the short answer is no we wouldnt change our habits for anything other than our own whims . If you do consider doing something you arent really happy with in order just to get some attention then I reckon its time you questioned the motives for doing it at all . A person shouldnt define their self worth by their sexuality - much less by the opinion of a bunch of guys in a carpark .
Peace xx

1 Nov 2005

Have to agree with noto. Last week in one of my fav spots no fewer than 5 couples were put off by the actions of these rude pushy people. The people in the car are doing us all a great favour and long may it continue. Even last night at an arranged meet I had to tell one middle aged chap (regular pain in the arse) it was private 4 times before he'd clear off and even then he hovered round hopefully. This put the couple off and the evening ended early. Watcher's should be respectful and only approach at the relevant signal. It may be a newbie couple frightened off by their impatience. The only time so far I've talked my other half into coming out we agreed before to stay in the car and not open the windows unless she felt comfortable. Within 2 minutes of pulling into the site our door handles were being tried and another bloke was knocking on the window not using his hands. Couples shouldn't comprimise and only do what they are happy with doing. For genuine doggers we are happy with that and respect the boundaries.

1 Nov 2005

we just go for it if they dont like hey you dont have to watch but if your clean and tidy looking you never know its worth the trouble

1 Nov 2005

Interesting replies so far (thanks!) and pretty much what I thought would be said by the folks who are about voyuerism/exhibitionism! It's good to see people sticking to their guns but I definitely think that some couples (prob none of the ones that I know here) will feel that they need to go further and further as the newer couples and singles to dogging are "doggingbymedia" - they're being tempted by sensationalism rather than sensualism so don't know any different and feel that they need to prove their worth!
It'd be interesting to hear from the many doggers/doggers to be who advertise for meets where they expect to be involved in the action too (they always seem to go very quiet, I can only remember one guy ever openly saying watching was a waste!) - do you think just watching is a compromise on what you want? :shock:
Just on an aside

Quote by Northbicester
Even last night at an arranged meet I had to tell one middle aged chap (regular pain in the arse) it was private 4 times before he'd clear off and even then he hovered round hopefully.

I don't really blame him though NB, a car park is hardly private (unless you own it!) - hope is what keeps doggers company on cold nights! wink

1 Nov 2005

I don't think you should ever go further than you want to just because of pressure. The guys should respect the couples boundaries, or basically Fuck Off. The couples are doing THEM the favour, NOT the other way round.
Yes, I'm quite happy to shag some guys, but if I'm not in the mood, or just plain don't like the guy I won't. If a cock smells a bit sweaty or unpleasant I won't suck it either, and if the guy is pushy he'll be told NO quite firmly.
I do tend to get a mixture of guys at one of my sessions, some just want to watch and wank, some want to participate, but I am definitely strong enough to NEVER be pushed into something I don't want to do.

1 Nov 2005

HIJACK - Welcome back Silk and Big G, not seen you around for a while, good to see you posting again (missed the avatar) HIJACK OFF
Great thread, Serendipity, and a very interesting topic. Yes we have felt in the past (mainly when we first started) that we should possibly compromise and go that bit further to please the doggers, but luckly for us, we soon realised that we were doing this for us, know one else, just us! So we now just do what we want, what we have agreed and go no further.
It can be a little upsetting when someone comes out with some cruel comment about us being time wasters because we dont ask them to join in, but I think we have now gone past that stage and seriously just dont give a dam anymore! The site we normally visit has some really nice guys, a few of which post on here very regularly, and they all know our limits, they all know when to leave us alone and they are all extreamly discrete.
So will we compromise our limits just to please someone else? LIKE HELL WE WILL lol

We do what we want, when we want, and if you dont like it, move on the another car :lol:
A couple of the posters have mentioned the 'older' doggers but in our experience, these are normally the most polite and are more than happy just to watch. We have found that it is mainly the youngsters who expect more and often come out with something abusive if they dont get what they want/expect. Obviously this cant be said for all older/younger doggers, but I can only speak from the experiences we have had!

1 Nov 2005

I must confess when Jon and I were new to dogging, I did on one or two occasions, let a couple of guys join in with us simply because they seemed to expect it and I was shy about the whole thing and admit I gave in, rather than have them think me a timewaster or whatever rolleyes

Some guys were quite blunt about the fact that showing only couples were not worth the bother of standing around all night for :shock: It certainly made me feel extremely intimidated and we almost gave the whole thing up.
However, we then tried doing the arranged meets thinking it would be easier to feel in control of the situation, but still other guys would tap the windows or call out, still expecting to join us evil

However, one night we had no arranged meet and thought we'd give it another try. We met with an older guy (prob late 50's) and he had been a dogger for many years. We had a really good chat with him and I explained how I felt.
He certainly put us right about what we should be doing and that is ONLY WHAT WE WANT TO DO. He really did make it sound so easy. He gave us hints and tips on how to handle various sitatuons and we came away feeling so much better about it all smile

So from there on, we resolved to follow his advise and although we more often than not do have participants now, it is at MY discretion only. If the rest don't like it, they can take a hike and I'm quite happy to tell them so :P
These guys who expect more than a show, most certainly do put people off, so in the end they will only spoil it for themselves as well as everyone else and what really pisses me off is the type of guy who will see a couple doing a show only, and then see us with a participant, and dash over to us, expecting he'll be next in the queue!!! :? :roll:
Tracy-Jayne

1 Nov 2005

Quote by Lissa
The couples are doing THEM the favour, NOT the other way round.

Sorry but that's just crap.
You aren't there for some alturistic motive of wanting to please men. You are there becuase you get off on it too. It's a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other.
Having said that, as a single dogger I know that it's the couple who set the rules.

1 Nov 2005

I take your point Silk and Big G, but as a single voyeur, I am always grateful to any couple who choose to show to me and I was brought up to show respect and be thankful. smile

1 Nov 2005

no compromise from us, we do what we want ,when we want, the doggers do feed a need but not at any cost! the show goes on with or without an audience out , but the audience does not direct..................
well they havent yet lol lol

:lol:

2 Nov 2005

You aren't there for some alturistic motive of wanting to please men. You are there becuase you get off on it too. It's a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other.
Having said that, as a single dogger I know that it's the couple who set the rules.

What a load of bollocks.......you need a load of guys leaning on the car to have sex and enjoy it ?
Let's get this right....you CAN shag in a car without a load of tossers watching, and enjoy it....THEY, on the other hand, are just a bunch of shitheads hanging about in a car park with nowt to do without a couple there.
As S&BG say, the only rules are your own...if you don't want anyone about just tell them to fuck-off...........compromise my arse........
My own view is this....if the couple say they only want middle-aged black guys with 10 inch dicks, then that's me away....and if they say "ain't you lot heard about the sex offences act 2003..............fuck-off or we call the law", then I'm off....................
me, I'm all for middle aged guys....more control and less likely to want to fight the world.... (but then, I may be prejudiced.
In any case, I don't WANT to shag everyone....in fact I rarely get involved....watching needs less energy output....
But then again........................................

2 Nov 2005

Quote by jomu
What a load of bollocks.......you need a load of guys leaning on the car to have sex and enjoy it ?

No, but it's a little difficult to fulfill your exhibitionism side if there are no voyeurs, isn't it?

As S&BG say, the only rules are your own...if you don't want anyone about just tell them to fuck-off...........compromise my arse........

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. However, couples shouldn't portray themselves as the only people offering something in this "relationship". Without the guys then they are just shagging in a car. With them they are playing a role in a fetish. They get to satisfy their lust to exhibit themsleves, the guys get to satisfy their lust to be vouyeurs.
If they just wanted a private fuck they wouldn't be doing it in a public place now would they.
Especially when you consider what the same person I previosuly quoted said in another thread today

Quote by Lissa
As it is Bonfire Night this weekend, I'm hoping for a lot of single guys to turn up to make my evening go with a BANG

You have to ask, is this alturism, or is it a mutally beneficial arrangement?

2 Nov 2005

Especially when some arrogant idiot tries pulling you out the car by your feet saying::
'its my turn now'
A little annoying...
Grrrr mad

!!!!

2 Nov 2005

Its interesting some of the points that are made here...but this is really about two points rather than one....
are doggers swingers.... (i'm sure thats been done to dead)
Yea some people can get off with being watched... and ... fair play to that (Oh.. i'll just ad that i've not been dogging.. but i have shagged ina car .. well.. more times than i care to remember)... but i think personally think that dogging is much more of an anonymous thing compared to swinging.... generally with the latter you have a bit of a natter... find mutual points about each other b4 swaping.. or whatever
But I think there does need to be a difference between DOGGING.. and EXBITIONISM which .. really ... really would define what your going to be getting up to.... i do agree that now the term dogging has become one for meeting up for carpark action...
As with the wankers (the negative kind) it should be that the good wanker community exile them... so that you dont get people knocking on the windows....pulling at legs.. or having arguements etc etc as that just takes all the fun out of what yout there to do!

2 Nov 2005

wel.. if we go out in the car, it's because we get off on showing off. if there isn't anyone to showoff to, then the fun is gone. we need watchers just as much as watchers need us. if we stay in our car with the windows up, theres no chance of people trying to be pushy, as were locked in. during the warm evenings, sometimes it's nice to get out of the car. that is when we find we need to be more wary of who is watching. some people really do think its a free for all, and when told that they can look only, complain. we just leave. we have been called prickteasers, when we turn up and see people we recognise who have made such statements in the past, we just leave again. we can understand if a couple turn up with the intention of taking on the whole carpark, that they would like young adonis type , fresh smelling guys there. who would blame them. no one wants to play with an unkempt person, but when it comes to watchers , it doesn't really matter what age, size etc that they are. in fact, some of the older gents make much better voyeurs as they always better mannered, less demanding and over the moon to see a sexy young girl show for them. a lot of the older gents have been dogging for a while, they have much more experience. we would never allow our boundries to be pushed just to please others. there are always genuine voyuers who are more than happy with watching us and others. the very minute we stop enjoying it, is the very minute we'll stop going.

2 Nov 2005

There should be no compromise by any couple yes they might need doggers as much as doggers need couples but its a hell of a lot easier to find doggers than couples. Doggers should treat them with the utmost respect and if they stay in there car with windows up and doors locked thats there privelige and they are not prickteasers just enjoy the voyeur side of dogging. Unfortunately in my experience there are too many doggers who think that if a couple turn up that they are guarnateed a shag and that is bang out of order. If you are respectable and polite to couples they might invite you back for more in the future if you are not you are more than likely never see them again.
NO COMPROMISE

2 Nov 2005

I have a finer point. I dont swing i.e have sex oral or inter. with other guys or girls. My partner is more than happy with that, he doesnt want to share (greedy boy.) We are both exhibitionist and voyeurs. We keep our limits by arranging meets and making it clear at the outset so as not to waste anyones time. Thus, we dont have to worry about what the doggers expect if we meet randomly and thus dont have to compromise anything.
That said we have met some nice guys whom we have grown to trust and im happy to give them a hand with their pleasure. Am I swinging? What defines that exactly?

2 Nov 2005

Quote by Serendipity
Reading about Doggingtwo's recent night time adventure inspired this thought....so thinking caps on ladies and gents!
A lot of couples seem to be overlooked by doggers as "nah they only show" or "pr*ckteasers" because they prefer to let doggers watch than join in. This must drive away some couples completely as they feel unwelcome or unappreciated while others might not be bothered and carry on regardless. However, is there a point at which couples will compromise in order to continue the thrill of dogging rather than have no audience at all? Would you move your boundaries a little/a lot to feed your exhibitionist needs or would you stick to your guns even if it means no watchers at all?

In my opinion one should never compromise. Each of us knows what we wish to do and we should only ever do it on our terms. The best way to achieve this is by knowing your doggers and getting to speak to one of them alone and explain your rules and ask it to be made known next time you turn up. You then pick your audience and go somewhere else more private as car parks and beauty spots are public places and while there you cannot decide who else can be there.

2 Nov 2005

Quote by Northbicester
Have to agree with noto. Last week in one of my fav spots no fewer than 5 couples were put off by the actions of these rude pushy people. The people in the car are doing us all a great favour and long may it continue. Even last night at an arranged meet I had to tell one middle aged chap (regular pain in the arse) it was private 4 times before he'd clear off and even then he hovered round hopefully. This put the couple off and the evening ended early. Watcher's should be respectful and only approach at the relevant signal. It may be a newbie couple frightened off by their impatience. The only time so far I've talked my other half into coming out we agreed before to stay in the car and not open the windows unless she felt comfortable. Within 2 minutes of pulling into the site our door handles were being tried and another bloke was knocking on the window not using his hands. Couples shouldn't comprimise and only do what they are happy with doing. For genuine doggers we are happy with that and respect the boundaries.

In my humble opinion may I point out that a public car par/beauty spot is not private especially so if it is a known dogging area. A serious and sensible dogger should have a fall back secret place where they can take others.

2 Nov 2005

we read on here " prickteasers" something we have been accused of in the past, by one guy that hasnt had the pleasure of course........
so what is a prickteaser if that is what we are?
is it a couple that show up and leave,
is it a couple that dont allow others to play,
is it a couple that wank a guy of but dont finish him,
is it a couple that have full sex just with one guy but not the rest,
is it a couple that dont turn up EVERY friday and shag the whole car park??????
personally i love being prick teased by Rose , shes very good at it, isnt that a part of foreplay? and she loves the teasing too im sure.
just like erotic clothing it isnt what you see its what you might see sometimes that turns us on.
we dont want to arrange meets with people we know, too personal for us, so we run the risk of the morons that are too pushy, the car stays locked , and we drive off when pissed off , simple yet effective but it makes us open to the prickteasing lable,
we dont give a fluck lol, their loss not ours.
staggy
xx

2 Nov 2005

Maybe a reference page is needed, for the doggers entries ; - ) Im sure Rose and Stag have been a source of pleasure. I know we have and we dont put out just out on a show. Good for u Rose/Stag!

2 Nov 2005

Quote by Alan
Unfortunately in my experience there are too many doggers who think that if a couple turn up that they are guarnateed a shag

Very noticeably now, I don't think it was as bad a year ago when I first visited here or maybe I have rose tinted spec where my first few weeks here are concerned! redface

That's what bothers me most though, will these attitudes influence couples to involve others .... and will that lead to thevoyeurs eventually being considered prick teasers (pussy teasers??) if they only want to watch! lol

It's interesting to see a mention about building trust through arranged meets with familiar faces, the anonymity of dogging is what has appealed to me in the past so I always imagine that seeing the same old faces in the twilight would remove some of the thrill eventually, perhaps even more so for couples who want to be watched but not touched - I may be way off the mark with that, it's hard to imagine it from your side of the dogging equation sometimes!

2 Nov 2005

We dont find seeing the same faces takes the shine off as we dont see them on a weekly basis. We can 'mix and match' if u like and invite who we choose. Keeps the variety for us! Also we have had a few few chance meets away from the known places and they've been great too. Seeing the same creepy guys at known places is definitely off putting - 'creepy being guys who drive round and round the carpark, up to every car to see who's in them. Get out and walk u lazy gits!

2 Nov 2005

Quote by wild rose and the stag
we read on here " prickteasers" something we have been accused of in the past, by one guy that hasnt had the pleasure of course........
so what is a prickteaser if that is what we are?
is it a couple that show up and leave,
is it a couple that dont allow others to play,
is it a couple that wank a guy of but dont finish him,
is it a couple that have full sex just with one guy but not the rest,
is it a couple that dont turn up EVERY friday and shag the whole car park??????
personally i love being prick teased by Rose , shes very good at it, isnt that a part of foreplay? and she loves the teasing too im sure.
just like erotic clothing it isnt what you see its what you might see sometimes that turns us on.
we dont want to arrange meets with people we know, too personal for us, so we run the risk of the morons that are too pushy, the car stays locked , and we drive off when pissed off , simple yet effective but it makes us open to the prickteasing lable,
we dont give a fluck lol, their loss not ours.
staggy
xx

Everytime I reads your posts I feel as though I'm being prick teased by Rose and I think it is absolutely fab. The signpost challenge piccies are the best thing that I've dogged (vitually) for a long long time. Keep up the teasing - I for one love it. lol

:lol:

2 Nov 2005

Quote by Serendipity
It's interesting to see a mention about building trust through arranged meets with familiar faces, the anonymity of dogging is what has appealed to me in the past so I always imagine that seeing the same old faces in the twilight would remove some of the thrill eventually, perhaps even more so for couples who want to be watched but not touched - I may be way off the mark with that, it's hard to imagine it from your side of the dogging equation sometimes!

i so agree , the anonimity is important to us too, we do not want to know the doggers that dog us, although we have some good friends Alan and Deancanncok amongst others that have been known to go Dogging they are friends and we leave it at that, good fun to share experiences with but not the naughtyness,
staggy
xx