1. When informed of a crew dispute in the swimming pool on the deck below, Spock says: "It's like a bridge over troubled water," and falls about laughing.
2. Uhura puts the Klingons on hold listening to Greensleeves for 10 minutes, causing them to destroy the Enterprise in sheer frustration.
3. Mr Scott's pessimistic estimate of only being able to manage 30mph by the middle of next week turns out to be accurate, and the Enterprise is toast.
4. Starfleet remove red jumpers from the uniform code, after which the mortality rate of senior crew members on away missions increases dramatically.
5. Phaser gets long overdue development to supplement 'stun' and 'kill' options with 'a bit winded', 'kneed groin', 'speeded-up Benny Hill-style running about', 'morning-after-bad-curry' and 'drag queen.'
6. Picard puts up signs on the Bridge and Holodeck reading: "No running, pushing, bombing or heavy petting."
7. Kirk discovers that when peering into his little viewer, Spock is actually just playing Minesweeper and Tetris.
8. During a major space battle, the Enterprise shields remain intact, no wiring comes loose from the ceiling, and no sudden but containable fires break out.
9. For a laugh on April Fools Day, Worf plays a tape of an incoming Borg vessel on the main viewer, causing everyone else to abandon ship.
10. Having made the exciting discovery of a brand new lifeform, the crew is disappointed to find out that it is, in fact, an entirely familiar lifeform wearing a funny hat.
11. There's a bizarre time-warp incident that has nothing whatsoever to do with the 20th century.
12. Electrocutions from malfunctioning Bridge panels are banished forever when some resourceful Engineering bod takes it upon himself to install fuses.
13. Captured by a hostile and apparently invulnerable alien race, the crew manage to bribe their way out with sweets.
14. Doors on all Federation starships inexplicably stop going 'pssht', which forces Starfleet to order all crew members to make the noise with their mouths.
15. In one unprecedented day on the Enterprise, Mr Scott fails to mention the laws of physics, Dr McCoy avoids going all wild-eyed and melodramatic, Mr Spock's eyebrow remains unraised, and Captain Kirk avoids snogging the new female arrival, while also keeping his shirt on and untorn
16. A passing spaceship caused grit to be cast back, chipping the Enterprise's windscreen.
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16 Thing that never happen on Star Trek
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Orgasminator
Quote by PJ1
17. A solution to a "rip in the space-time continum", or "destroying a space-alien" that does not involve changing the polarity of something...
Especially if it's changing the polarity of the neutron flow, since:
a) neutrons have neither a positive or negative charge
b) you would have strayed from Star Trek into Dr. Who.
Warming the Bed
23. Seven of Nine starts 'Nudist day' on Voyager
I wish she would - thats a fine bod she's got
I wish she would - thats a fine bod she's got
Sex God
Quote by bjornblonduk
23. Seven of Nine starts 'Nudist day' on Voyager
I wish she would - thats a fine bod she's got
On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give her one :twisted:
After many years research Starfleet re-invent and patent:
1. The Staircase:
Which does not go into freefall every time someone sneezes and allows crew to run to engineering rather than crawl.
2. The seatbelt:
Avoiding all the death and destruction being thrown into the windshield at an appreciable factor of the speed of light can do.
1. The Staircase:
Which does not go into freefall every time someone sneezes and allows crew to run to engineering rather than crawl.
2. The seatbelt:
Avoiding all the death and destruction being thrown into the windshield at an appreciable factor of the speed of light can do.
Orgasminator
Dunno if this is allowed cause its a web link but having seen some of these i think there is NOTHONG that will ever not be seen in star trek( did i get the vanacular correct there lol)
Starfleet finally let a Welsh person aboard one of their ships. They've had American, English, Scotish, Japanese, Russian, Irish, Klingon, Vulcan, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Talaxian, Romulan, Betazoid, Tholian, Species 8472 (the list goes on and on), but no sign of any Welsh people.................at all....................ever :shock:
The crew of the Enterprise/Voyager/DS9 (delete as applicable) will find a wormhole that takes them to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...........
and they end up in a dogging location and spend the whole episode complaining about idiots who keep blinding everyone with their main beam....lol
and they end up in a dogging location and spend the whole episode complaining about idiots who keep blinding everyone with their main beam....lol
Quote by funcouple_gd
The crew of the Enterprise/Voyager/DS9 (delete as applicable) will find a wormhole that takes them to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...........
and they end up in a dogging location and spend the whole episode complaining about idiots who keep blinding everyone with their main beam....lol
Boldly dogging where no crew have dogged before
Quote by MadAtGravity
Starfleet finally let a Welsh person aboard one of their ships. They've had American, English, Scotish, Japanese, Russian, Irish, Klingon, Vulcan, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Talaxian, Romulan, Betazoid, Tholian, Species 8472 (the list goes on and on), but no sign of any Welsh people.................at all....................ever :shock:
True geek moment here:
In a futurama episode, Star Trek is banned for whatever reason but Fry manages to get hold of some tapes. They then get held hostage by an evil energy entity
and the entire cast is included, Kirk, Uhura, Spock etc, all apart from Scotty who famously wouldn't attend any real life Star Trek conventions, so they substituted the part of Scotty with Welshy. So in theory, and complete and utter waste of 2 minutes, there has been a Welsh person in Star Trek. You never see them having sex in the turbo lift ..... would bring a whole new dimension to having a quickie ;)
I'd give Seven of Nine two by the way .... one in the morning and one at night :twisted: and she's already been to a swingers club (unfortunately Senator Ryan decided to push his wife into it and now she's his ex!)
C x
I'd give Seven of Nine two by the way .... one in the morning and one at night :twisted: and she's already been to a swingers club (unfortunately Senator Ryan decided to push his wife into it and now she's his ex!)
C x
Quote by Osmosis
Starfleet finally let a Welsh person aboard one of their ships. They've had American, English, Scotish, Japanese, Russian, Irish, Klingon, Vulcan, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Talaxian, Romulan, Betazoid, Tholian, Species 8472 (the list goes on and on), but no sign of any Welsh people.................at all....................ever :shock:
True geek moment here:
In a futurama episode, Star Trek is banned for whatever reason but Fry manages to get hold of some tapes. They then get held hostage by an evil energy entity
and the entire cast is included, Kirk, Uhura, Spock etc, all apart from Scotty who famously wouldn't attend any real life Star Trek conventions, so they substituted the part of Scotty with Welshy. So in theory, and complete and utter waste of 2 minutes, there has been a Welsh person in Star Trek.I remember that episode. smartarse
Sex God
26. Worf waits longer than seconds before destroying the alien vessel for not answering his hail.
