Accepting younger swingers?

21 Oct 2009

Quote by Mr_milehigh
Hi all,
Just thought I'd pitch in for the younger ones on this site. Judging by a lot of the one liner quickie messages I've seen it's clear that there are a fair few young (under 25), single men on here just after a quick shag so I can understand the aprehension; but please don't stereotype. Personally I prefer writing a private message but that's me.
As has already been said, a quick chat will soon reveal the mature and genuine among us. I've only just joined, it's something I've wanted to do for a while and now feel I'm ready to enter the scene. Hopefully I'll start to meet a lot of the members at socials and clubs but guess it takes time to start off with.
As for members who have children or siblings of a similar age, well that's perfectly understandable and I take no offence. Just don't automatically assume that because someone is under 25 (or even 30) they're going to be immature.
I'm glad I've joined now, hopefully will give me many years of fun and I'm excited at the prospect of meeting like-minded people both privately and socially! Lurking and abusing is certainly not what I have in mind.
A quick chat is all it takes.
**Ramble over now**

Great post :thumbup:

1 Nov 2009

were 23 and 22 we have been together 7 years and we are married. we have been swinging for nearly a year now and enjoy it ! everybody has there own preferences wich is fine. Can any 1 tell me the age wen it is rite to be a swinger ????????????

1 Nov 2009

Quote by Optix
when i first joined the site back in 2004, it was quite rare to see people in there 20's the majority of people i spoke to / meet at socails were in there 30's +. i got told on many occasions that i was too young to be thinking about swinging, as i cant of learnt about myself enough.
5 years on.. and the site and Swinging in general as evoled.. more and more people are turning to swinging at a younger age.. its not so much a "keyrings and Ash trays" kinda persona.
for me personally when i am meeting people from the site i tend to go for women either my age or a little older.. it may be because i#m used to.. but i like to think that i would go for personality first. so be it, if she is 20 or 45. if we both get on.. and there are sparks, then it would be daft to shy away from it.
there are too many labelled boxes in this world.. so i try and keep well out of them all!

remember jigs we are not old lol

1 Nov 2009

Quote by Us_4_u
were 23 and 22 we have been together 7 years and we are married. we have been swinging for nearly a year now and enjoy it ! everybody has there own preferences wich is fine. Can any 1 tell me the age wen it is rite to be a swinger ????????????

I don't think you can put a numerical age on it. I think in the traditional sense, as much as there is one, swinging couples evolve together over time to make the choices they make together. Conventionally that has been when the couple is more established and been together a long time. This means that in the past the people who indulged in this tended to be older than their early 20's.
Of course, nowadays, swinging has changed a great deal, so those old preconceptions are probably inaccurate. Nowadays for example swingers, as they call themselves, can be single and a lot younger.
However my worry with playing with a young person (say below 25, though the age is entirely arbitrary) or a couple that has not been together very long would simply be whether they have the emotional capacity and depth of un derstanding to fully appreciate what it is they are about to do. I feel more comfortable that a couple who are older, been together a while and been around the block once or twice, have those capabilities, which to me are a central tenet to successful playing. I realise that may be entirely condescending and a sweeping generalisation, but it kind of makes sense to me.
For me it isn't about accepting the choices young swingers have made, that's fine. I worry, in a patronising and condescending way, if they really have gone into this for the right reasons and whether they may be aware of the emotional impact it can have on them and their relationship (if they have one). Having seen the adverse effect it can have on experienced people, let alone novices. I think experience helps a lot of "older" swingers through things and younger people, in general, can't have that length of experience.
Many younger swingers may find that offensive or condescending, but it is, for me at least, part of the reason why younger folks may find it more difficult.

1 Nov 2009

Quote by BIoke
I'm easy, I'll shag owt!

you little minx ..
trav..

1 Nov 2009

When I was 38 ...she was 18 Hmmmmmmmmm wink

And to this day we are still friends
Reminicence is so much fun xx
Trav..

2 Nov 2009

Quote by Arwen_1
... but i do feel there should be an age limit put on this site in my experience i feel you get more abuse from the younger guys on here in their twentys and feel that people as young as 18 that are on here and twentys should not be allowed to be menbers ..they need to learn to grow up and experience real life outside a site and i feel more of the younger people on here are only here to lurk and be abusive and i know that as fact .x

I think that your view that young people are here just to be abusive is somewhat paranoid. Many young people are very selfcentred. Thinking that they are here to piss other people off over fulfilling their own desires is foolish. A "fact" it is not.
Clearly being confrontational is a poor position for me to be in, however I think that this is something for which I can justify the risk. Clearly arwen, I dont know you, so any objection is towards your beleifs, rather than towards you personally.

Quote by Cubes
Good question Nola! :thumbup:
Yet Cubette has told me in the past that, although the younger man's body is appealing, she wouldn't enjoy the inexperienced fumblings and short fuse that tend to go hand in hand with youth. For her, experience is everything.

I would never argue with somebody explaining their preferences, because clearly its entirely subjective, however I would argue, that maybe she is mistaken. This generation has grown up with an education in good sex. This is the generation who have been told that its fine and normal and natural to have a healthy interest in sex. The anatomy of sex is explained in medical and factual resources on the internet and schoools, the emotional and social impacts of sex are discussed in popular television and films and the fantasy of sex is more varied and avaiable than ever before through internet pornography.
People are having more sex and younger. Whether this is right or wrong is immaterial. *this* is a fact. and is probably the reason for the rise in young swinger that the community has reported.
I think discrimination based on age, though efficient, would be missing the point.
Swinging is changing. Along with the rest of the world. Change that no one of us can control, and no one of us can escape.
oh, and just on an ego note, not all yound people fumble inexperiencedly, my fuse is as long as my partner needs it to be, and I can be spent, and up again in a matter of minutes ;)

2 Nov 2009

EDIT: sorry, double post. tech problem?
delete please.

2 Nov 2009

Quote by Anoush
... but i do feel there should be an age limit put on this site in my experience i feel you get more abuse from the younger guys on here in their twentys and feel that people as young as 18 that are on here and twentys should not be allowed to be menbers ..they need to learn to grow up and experience real life outside a site and i feel more of the younger people on here are only here to lurk and be abusive and i know that as fact .x

I think that your view that young people are here just to be abusive is somewhat paranoid. Many young people are very selfcentred. Thinking that they are here to piss other people off over fulfilling their own desires is foolish. A "fact" it is not.
Clearly being confrontational is a poor position for me to be in, however I think that this is something for which I can justify the risk. Clearly arwen, I dont know you, so any objection is towards your beleifs, rather than towards you personally.

Quote by Cubes
Good question Nola! :thumbup:
Yet Cubette has told me in the past that, although the younger man's body is appealing, she wouldn't enjoy the inexperienced fumblings and short fuse that tend to go hand in hand with youth. For her, experience is everything.

I would never argue with somebody explaining their preferences, because clearly its entirely subjective, however I would argue, that maybe she is mistaken. This generation has grown up with an education in good sex. This is the generation who have been told that its fine and normal and natural to have a healthy interest in sex. The anatomy of sex is explained in medical and factual resources on the internet and schoools, the emotional and social impacts of sex are discussed in popular television and films and the fantasy of sex is more varied and avaiable than ever before through internet pornography.
People are having more sex and younger. Whether this is right or wrong is immaterial. *this* is a fact. and is probably the reason for the rise in young swinger that the community has reported.
I think discrimination based on age, though efficient, would be missing the point.
Swinging is changing. Along with the rest of the world. Change that no one of us can control, and no one of us can escape.
oh, and just on an ego note, not all yound people fumble inexperiencedly, my fuse is as long as my partner needs it to be, and I can be spent, and up again in a matter of minutes ;)
Its also worth mentioning that I have come across no people who want to meet up with me, a couple of people who have accepted me as a platonic friend, a handful of people who have said that Im just not old enough, and many many people who simply dont reply.
then of course theres b1oke. lol. (x)
Im providing this info purely for background reasons. Not to make any real point.
Anoush (21) x

2 Nov 2009

I've been 28 for the past few years or so now and I feel as a younger member (oooerr Mrs "member* titter) that the older members are just older and the younger ones younger If the younger were older and the older younger then both the oldyoung and the youngold would have common ground. Your thoughts please?

2 Nov 2009

Quote by Lost
I've been 28 for the past few years or so now and I feel as a younger member (oooerr Mrs "member* titter) that the older members are just older and the younger ones younger If the younger were older and the older younger then both the oldyoung and the youngold would have common ground. Your thoughts please?

You're bored again aintcha? rolleyes

2 Nov 2009

Old, Young, .... whatâ€™s the diff? dunno

since recently breaking the half century I've come to realise that it really doesn't matter. (as long as it's legal)
I could give the same answer as in a previous thread, if the chemistry is right, the fgs get it on, one life, live it!
I mean itâ€™s not like we are talking about finding a life partner here <though sometimes i do wonder at certain peoples motives> Its a lifestyle scene, it's called 'Swinging' :dunno:
Young or old, if it feels good, do it!
I soo need to start using a spell checke again surprised

ops?
imho

2 Nov 2009

We have met people our own age but I wouldn't dismiss meeting people of any age within reason. I think we would draw the line at meeting folks within 5 years of our oldest.
Edit: Perhaps I should say my kids are in their 20's lol.

2 Nov 2009

Quote by travlinmanukok
No young ones here ....over 50 years of age prefferd everytime.
trav..

so next in one of your age threads when you complain that people are age-ist... or that people won't give you a chance... can I pull up this thread? wink

2 Nov 2009

...... and back to the topic in hand... lol
I know older people who don't really fancy playing with people young enough to be there sons and daughters... fact.. such is life.... leave em to it!!!
I know younger people who don't really fancy playing with people old enough to be there mums and dads.... fact.. such is life.... leave em to it!!!
I know 20 year olds that act a lot older, I know a lot of older people who are young at heart, and men have trouble getting past the age of 14 at the best of times!!! smile

that leaves a lot of people for which Age is not a factor, that gives me a lot of hope.. and if that is the case then maybe that is the lesson that we can take from this..... rule nothing in... rule nothing out....

2 Nov 2009

nice post fabio.
and karren ;)

2 Nov 2009

I will come up at some point, and you guys can show me the whole of the newcastle scene smile