Blue's phone sex perv

22 Aug 2005

Earlier tonight I logged off and went to bed. I was just dozing off when the phone rang. "This had BETTER be an emergency", I thought, "Or I will WILL NOT be happy" evil

I picked up the phone.
Blue (in grumpy tired voice): 'Ello :evil:
At first nothing, then a male voice, whispering, replied...
Phone sex perv: Do you suck cock? :uhoh:
Blue (not hearing what he said and now very grumpy): What? :evil: :evil: :evil:
Phone sex perv (a bit louder): Do you suck cock? :uhoh:
Blue(now VERY grumpy): What? mad

:x :x
Phone sex perv(a bit louder still): Do you suck cock? dunno

Blue (now less grumpy and rather amused): Why do you want to know? confused

Phone sex perv (stating the obvious :doh: ): Cos I'm horny. rolleyes

Blue (now highly amused): Oh OK. rotflmao

Phone sex perv(not to be easily put off): Do you have big tits? :roll: :roll: :roll:
Blue(VERY amused and ready to play): No but I've got a big cock. :grin:
Phone sex perv (in shock): WHAT? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Blue (trying not to howl with laugher): No, but I've got a big co...... :rascal:
Phone sex perv slams phone down
Oh bum... I was gutted, I was all ready to tell him about my big cock..........
:censored:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

22 Aug 2005

The poor bloke rings up expecting to terrorise some poor innocent girl and gets Blue :shock: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
There is a God.
Well done passionkiss

Jas
XXX

22 Aug 2005

Well......... lol

:lol: You have got a big one! :P
I've seen it in action :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Keep it in a drawer when it's not in use don't yer! wink

:wink:
:twisted:

22 Aug 2005

We truly, are not worthy.
worship

:worship:

23 Aug 2005

That's the last time I use THAT randomly selected number!
bolt

23 Aug 2005

Hell Ice you are lucky.. i DIALED it on PURPOSE and look where it got me!!! :shock:

23 Aug 2005

phone sex pervs just dont seem to have the staying power they used too lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:

23 Aug 2005

I had a dirty phone call once, only the once mind, about 5 years ago some guy phoned up and asked me if i take it up the arse :shock:

23 Aug 2005

Thank fuck for BT's "141" is all I can say redface

23 Aug 2005

Quote by dambuster
Thank fuck for BT's "141" is all I can say

:roll: :roll:

23 Aug 2005

Quote by dambuster
Thank fuck for BT's "141" is all I can say

Yesssssssss, I did try to ring my phone sex perv back to tell him all about my big cock but he had with-held his number. Spoil sport evil

. Never mind, if he rings back tonight I will be sure to carry on where I left off :rascal: :rascal: :rascal:

23 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Thank fuck for BT's "141" is all I can say

Yesssssssss, I did try to ring my phone sex perv back to tell him all about my big cock but he had with-held his number. Spoil sport evil

. Never mind, if he rings back tonight I will be sure to carry on where I left off :rascal: :rascal: :rascal:
You can't call me back and with-hold yours tho'
Mine's set not to accept with-held numbers :razz:
How's that for hypocrisy ??? surprised

ops:

23 Aug 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
Well......... :lol: You have got a big one! :P
I've seen it in action :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Keep it in a drawer when it's not in use don't yer! :wink:
:twisted:

Oh er,
ES what are you refering to?? :lol:

23 Aug 2005

kaz's pervy phone call
perv ; do you have a fat hairy twat ?
kaz; yes hes laid on the sofa would you like to talk to him sad

:(

23 Aug 2005

Quote by SirLee
kaz's pervy phone call
perv ; do you have a fat hairy twat ?
kaz; yes hes laid on the sofa would you like to talk to him :(

:laughabove:
Lee, you misheard, she meant the CAT, surely? ;)

23 Aug 2005

my perviest one was actually at work.
some guy called and asked "do you like having your fanny licked?"
i said "hell yeah" before panicking when i remembered that work randomly record some of the phone calls and slammed the phone down.

23 Aug 2005

Classic - that made me laugh out loud in an empty house... thank you Blue wink

A woman I worked with once got a dirty call from a bloke and she told him he ought to know better and if he didn't stop, she'd tell his mother.. when he asked how she would do that she told him it was simple - his mother was currently upstairs in bed with her husband... the phone went down. He never called back :P

23 Aug 2005

Blue, true class, and true Blue... You should send that to the BT abuse line as a suggestion for all harrassed ladies out there cool

23 Aug 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
my perviest one was actually at work.
some guy called and asked "do you like having your fanny licked?"
i said "hell yeah" before panicking when i remembered that work randomly record some of the phone calls and slammed the phone down.

And NO it wasnt me either lol

23 Aug 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
Blue, true class, and true Blue... You should send that to the BT abuse line as a suggestion for all harrassed ladies out there

Yeah, they used to suggest keeping a whistle by the phone, but I reckon Blue's strategy is way more effective! Shock them into submission... :twisted:

23 Aug 2005

Well folks, last night's phone sex perv still hasn't called back sad

.... but the night is still young smile

.... hummmm, well, actually as I'm on dial up the phone will be engaged if he tries now so I'd better get offline pretty sharpish, I don't want to miss out on telling him all about my big cock :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
He wasn't the best I've ever had though, I've had couple of better ones in the past. One I had ring out of the blue when I was about 16. With my parents on holiday and no-one to correct my mis-behaviour and cos I was a bit bored I let the perv tell me all about what he was going to do to me... I was quite impressed so I asked for his address because I said I had 16 (male) friends who were positively begging to show him a good time - funnily enough he put the phone down :( :( :( . another bloody timewaster, eh rolleyes

Another time, this time when I was about 18, some dipstick kept calling me in the early hours of the morning..... After a few calls I gained his trust enough for him to tell me his name and address :shock: . I even arranged to meet him one night - and yes, I did turn up rotflmao

. He actually turned out to be some young naive lad who was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of his depth. Unbeknown to him I passed his address and phone number on to every dickhead and hardnut I knew in the local pubs ..... oh dear, oh dear...... shortly after he moved away to London ---- can't think why innocent

23 Aug 2005

What time you going bed at blue.
Just charging my phone up lol

23 Aug 2005

Quote by Captain-dogger
What time you going bed at blue.
Just charging my phone up

Now, don't be daft, I still know some real hardnuts :grin:

23 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
What time you going bed at blue.
Just charging my phone up

Now, don't be daft, I still know some real hardnuts :grin:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: I don't know anyone whose nuts go hard as well!
Blimey.............. :uhoh: bolt

23 Aug 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
What time you going bed at blue.
Just charging my phone up

Now, don't be daft, I still know some real hardnuts :grin:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: I don't know anyone whose nuts go hard as well!
Blimey.............. :uhoh: bolt

Maybe it's something to do with the water up north - it makes everyone harder, all over :grin:

23 Aug 2005

Don't you just love Irony
Actually I once had a dirty phone call from a girl ....supposedly an accidental wrong number that turned saucy...altho I reckon it was a couple of 20 somethings sharing a bottle of god's grape as I could hear stfiled giggling in the background ...
Needless to say I put the phone down on them...oooh within the first hour anyway wink

23 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
What time you going bed at blue.
Just charging my phone up

Now, don't be daft, I still know some real hardnuts :grin:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: I don't know anyone whose nuts go hard as well!
Blimey.............. :uhoh: bolt

Maybe it's something to do with the water up north - it makes everyone harder, all over :grin:
funny that cos the beer has the reverse effect on me.
staggy
redface

ops: :lol:

23 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Well folks, last night's phone sex perv still hasn't called back

Did you expect him to save the number? rotflmao

23 Aug 2005

Never had a pervy phone call, but I did once have an idiot call and threaten to come over and kill me.
Had I not known who it was (local chav kid who I'd had a run in with the previous day, I recognised the voice) I might have been scared. He was so stupid as to call me from his mobile and 1471 provided me with the number.
Rather than call him back and tell him exactly how many pieces he'd end up in after I'd finished with him I merely sorted out one of my bokken in case he really was stupid enough to come 'round, and then proceeded to search the 'net for websites where I could sign him up for SMS spam. I think he was getting about half the bible sent to him daily in individual verses (at last, a use for American evangelists), not to mention reminders to take his contraceptive pill at 5 am every morning.

23 Aug 2005

No one every blody rings me and talks dirty on the phone... and i've been giving my number out of the internet for the past 20 years, lmao