BodyLanguage

16 Oct 2005

Well I was chatting to a couple of Girls last nite after work, I went to the club next door for a couple of drinks as you do, anyhoo I was chatting to a couple of ladies and they seemed a bit off, one's friend came to shepeard her friend away from me confused

even tho I work with the girl in question and am on the sanme course as her friend and have known her for over a year.
Anyhoo I have noticed this to be a reoccuring theme recently so, When I was chatting to them I had my hand on there waist as it was a loud place and I find it more comfortable to lean my ear down, Do you think I'm being a little too touchy feely? Any hints on body language when chatting to a girl I like well? Ladies imput especially welcome
Riddle me this riddle me that? who's afraid of the big bad bat?

16 Oct 2005

(1) Oooo Ok, firstly, you blokies need to understand that when out with other girlies vanilla stylee (lol) all women have a secret code. Usually its not so secretive in that we disappear off to the toilets in twos to talk about you. lol

Now, at the risk of being bitch-slapped by every fem on here for enlightening you and divulging information for the 'other team' smackbottom

..........other times, its soooo discreet anyone of male species doesnt notice - series of little looks, nods or the oh-so-subtle :thumbup: thumbs-up behind your back that lets our girlfriends know 'I'm cool, come find me later'. Then there's the wide-eyed 'WTF??? :shock: ' look, which means ' :jagsatwork: dont you friggin dare move I might need bailing out in a minute' look. :lol: The eye-roll rolleyes

, which means ' this blokes a complete knob, get me out of here!' bolt

.......there are lots more!.
(2) The hand on waist thing .... vanilla style, I personally would find this pretty 'leery'. Unless you're really pissed and need to lean on someone/something in order to maintain a vertical position, holding her waist is a bit 'intimate'.
You could just gently lean in toward her, or literally talk into her ear like everyone else does in a club atmosphere. Most people might do the not-too-over-friendly-but-I-like-physical-contact arm touch too - but by holding her waist you are effectively 'pulling her into you' (its the same with hips, ass and lower back) - and unless she wants your full on attention, she'll be subconciously screaming to her friend to 'get me outta here'!!
(3) You describe her/them as being a little 'off' with you anyway. :dry: Now either:
(a) she just aint interested
(b) her mate was under specific "dont let me do anything stupid tonight" instruction
or (c) They've 'heard' something about you they dont like and usually under these circumstances you may as well walk round with a neon sign saying 'lurgy' on it!!!! :lol:
or (d) You interrupted a 'girlie night out' :shock: - sometimes when a woman says 'hello', she does it out of politeness and recognition, and sometimes its not an open invitation to do the sin of all sins and 'come hijack the conversation and come between whatever chat me and my mate- i-havent-seen-all-week were having before you decided to come stick your oar in'!! :roll: :lol:
(4) You mention that this is a reoccuring theme - now, assuming we're talking local women who might know you/ know of you to say hello to in the street.....I'd go with option 3c above :shock: - in which case you need to ask her outright at the earliest convenient opportunity. This gives her the upper-hand because she's put in a position where she has the power to 'enlighten' you and many women, in my oppinion, just love an opportunity to tell guys a few home truths! :sticky: :jagsatwork:
Now, if its a reoccuring theme that also runs with strangers, my advice is to stop eating garlic.....use listerine.....invest in a good deoderant.....see where I'm coming from?? redface

:lol:

Hope this helps! :lol: wink

16 Oct 2005

bluddy hell Darkfire
You had a dictionary for breakfast lol

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Sarah
bluddy hell Darkfire
You had a dictionary for breakfast

ops: sorry - kinda went 'off on one' there didnt I?
hahahahaha rotflmao

16 Oct 2005

Ive only just woken up , and my mind has just blown reading this Darfire!! lol Think i need more sleep! lol

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
bluddy hell Darkfire
You had a dictionary for breakfast

ops: sorry - kinda went 'off on one' there didnt I?
hahahahaha rotflmao

No not at all
But your words are true very true IMO

16 Oct 2005

Ha talking about going to town!
I think it is more than likley the waist thing, thanks for the Pointer tho! lol
Oh and my Personal Hygene is immaculate How dare YOU! :P

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
(1) Oooo Ok, firstly, you blokies need to understand that when out with other girlies vanilla stylee (lol) all women have a secret code. Usually its not so secretive in that we disappear off to the toilets in twos to talk about you. Now, at the risk of being bitch-slapped by every fem on here for enlightening you and divulging information for the 'other team' ..........other times, its soooo discreet anyone of male species doesnt notice - series of little looks, nods or the oh-so-subtle :thumbup: thumbs-up behind your back that lets our girlfriends know 'I'm cool, come find me later'. Then there's the wide-eyed 'WTF??? :shock: ' look, which means ' :jagsatwork: dont you friggin dare move I might need bailing out in a minute' look. :lol: The eye-roll , which means ' this blokes a complete knob, get me out of here!' .......there are lots more!.
(2) The hand on waist thing .... vanilla style, I personally would find this pretty 'leery'. Unless you're really pissed and need to lean on someone/something in order to maintain a vertical position, holding her waist is a bit 'intimate'.
You could just gently lean in toward her, or literally talk into her ear like everyone else does in a club atmosphere. Most people might do the not-too-over-friendly-but-I-like-physical-contact arm touch too - but by holding her waist you are effectively 'pulling her into you' (its the same with hips, ass and lower back) - and unless she wants your full on attention, she'll be subconciously screaming to her friend to 'get me outta here'!!
(3) You describe her/them as being a little 'off' with you anyway. :dry: Now either:
(a) she just aint interested
(b) her mate was under specific "dont let me do anything stupid tonight" instruction
or (c) They've 'heard' something about you they dont like and usually under these circumstances you may as well walk round with a neon sign saying 'lurgy' on it!!!! :lol:
or (d) You interrupted a 'girlie night out' :shock: - sometimes when a woman says 'hello', she does it out of politeness and recognition, and sometimes its not an open invitation to do the sin of all sins and 'come hijack the conversation and come between whatever chat me and my mate- i-havent-seen-all-week were having before you decided to come stick your oar in'!! :roll: :lol:
(4) You mention that this is a reoccuring theme - now, assuming we're talking local women who might know you/ know of you to say hello to in the street.....I'd go with option 3c above :shock: - in which case you need to ask her outright at the earliest convenient opportunity. This gives her the upper-hand because she's put in a position where she has the power to 'enlighten' you and many women, in my oppinion, just love an opportunity to tell guys a few home truths! :sticky: :jagsatwork:
Now, if its a reoccuring theme that also runs with strangers, my advice is to stop eating garlic.....use listerine.....invest in a good deoderant.....see where I'm coming from?? :lol:
Hope this helps! :lol:

HOLY ESSAY BATMAN!!

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Irish_Chopper
Ha talking about going to town!

and everyone thinks I'm sooo quiet and innocent! :twisted: mmmwahhhhahahahahahaha

Oh and my Personal Hygene is immaculate How dare YOU! :P

Honey I wasnt inferring that it isnt - I was just covering all bases as there might be someone reading this who's in the same 'predicament' as you but just darent ask!, to whom my little (ok ok , it wasnt so little redface

) pearls of wisdom may point out the obvious!
pmsl!! biggrin

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
Ha talking about going to town!

and everyone thinks I'm sooo quiet and innocent! :twisted: mmmwahhhhahahahahahaha
Oh we know THAT isnt true Darfire!!!! lol

16 Oct 2005

Quote by redgirlmanc
Ha talking about going to town!

and everyone thinks I'm sooo quiet and innocent! :twisted: mmmwahhhhahahahahahaha
Oh we know THAT isnt true Darfire!!!! lol

ops: I'll get me coat
rotflmao

16 Oct 2005

Well I think thats pretty much a thread killer right there.... Pretty much covered the whole dammed subject........
So how is every one on this fine sunday morning? , Hey its not rainin'!

16 Oct 2005

Naaaa @ thread killer - you just gotta wait for everyone else to get up, its sunday ffs!

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
Naaaa @ thread killer - you just gotta wait for everyone else to get up, its sunday ffs!

Sunday or not there is not excuse for lazyness! biggrin

16 Oct 2005

What an interesting thread lol

Irish chopper you may just stink of desperation (iam horny, single and busting for a shag) which girls seem to smell unconsciously and run a mile when they smell it.

16 Oct 2005

Shit I never new I was giving off sub-consious aroma's please indulge me further in this theroy

16 Oct 2005

Quote by bisto kid
What an interesting thread Irish chopper you may just stink of desperation (iam horny, single and busting for a shag) which girls seem to smell unconsciously and run a mile when they smell it.

:rotflmao: ahhhhhh yes, the ol' 'single, desperate and "me balls are round me knees" pheremone' - yup, 'fraid so honey, we can smell that one a mile off. Bit like the 'billy bullshit' one too!
:lol:

16 Oct 2005

Ohh, I've got another one to add to Darkfire's list.
If you are going to talk into someone's ear in a club, talk to the side, so you're both staring in the same direction.
I find if someone speaks directly into my ear, it's like this
HELLLOOO HOW ARE YOOOUUUU?? I'd rather be allowed to adjust my head so I can hear them without blasting my ear off.
An ear blaster sends me off to find my friend, very quickly.

16 Oct 2005

Quote by burnie
If you are going to talk into someone's ear in a club, talk to the side, so you're both staring in the same direction.
I find if someone speaks directly into my ear, it's like this
HELLLOOO HOW ARE YOOOUUUU?? I'd rather be allowed to adjust my head so I can hear them without blasting my ear off.
An ear blaster sends me off to find my friend, very quickly.

lol! yup, I forgot that one! - problem is with the talking to the side is that you get the full-on beer/garlic breath wafting directly across your face. At least if he's facing you and talking into your ear it kinda disappears over ya shoulder ! wink

16 Oct 2005

The whole touching someone on the waist thing..... is a real invasion of someones' personal space..... i would see it as encroaching, a really intimidating gesture.... especially with the leaning in towards the ear as well....... i would back off very very quickly...... and dont blame the girl in question for doing so....
equi-princess xxx

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
If you are going to talk into someone's ear in a club, talk to the side, so you're both staring in the same direction.
I find if someone speaks directly into my ear, it's like this
HELLLOOO HOW ARE YOOOUUUU?? I'd rather be allowed to adjust my head so I can hear them without blasting my ear off.
An ear blaster sends me off to find my friend, very quickly.

lol! yup, I forgot that one! - problem is with the talking to the side is that you get the full-on beer/garlic breath wafting directly across your face. At least if he's facing you and talking into your ear it kinda disappears over ya shoulder ! wink

True, but the lethal beer/garlic breath, while wafting over your shoulder, might disolve your hair, leaving you with a frazzled mess. Maybe we should advise him to wear a helmet with some kind of walkie talkie system.

16 Oct 2005

Maybe the whole Waist thing is just a BAD idea, I only started doing it recently well easy come easy go,

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
(2) The hand on waist thing .... vanilla style, I personally would find this pretty 'leery'.

:thumbup:
Yep, I would agree with this bit too................it's just TOO close. Keep a little bit of distance so the girl feels comfortable in your presence.
Fee
XX

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Irish_Chopper
Shit I never new I was giving off sub-consious aroma's please indulge me further in this theroy

Its a hard 1 to disguise if you are single and havent had a shag for a while and i would say pawing a lady before you get signals off her is a dead give away. Usualy if she is interested she will start to touch you 1st suttle (not sure how to spell that) as it may be.

16 Oct 2005

Excuse me for being naive but what does VANILLA STYLE mean ? smile

16 Oct 2005

Quote by bisto kid
Excuse me for being naive but what does VANILLA STYLE mean ?

as in...when you're out on a 'normal' night out with your vanilla (non-swinging) mates - and not in a potential 'swinging' situation or out with 'swingers'.
although I'd hasten to add the whole invading someone's personal space without invitation applies also to swinging situations, if not even more so! wink

edited to add:- I find that usually if you're out with other swingers, behaviour tends to be a hell of a lot more flirty, more touchy-feely etc, bewteen both males and females, and fem to fem - but, there's a fine line between what's acceptable touchy-feelyness and what's not, depending on the individual. Does that make sense? :confused:

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
Excuse me for being naive but what does VANILLA STYLE mean ?

as in...when you're out on a 'normal' night out with mates - and not in a potential 'swinging' situation or out with 'swingers'.
although I'd hasten to add the whole invading someone's personal space without invitation applies also to swinging situations, if not even more so! wink

Thanx for explaining that Darkfire biggrin

16 Oct 2005

Vanilla style lol

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Irish_Chopper
Vanilla style lol

you've lost me now Irish ...

16 Oct 2005

Quote by Darkfire
edited to add:- I find that usually if you're out with other swingers, behaviour tends to be a hell of a lot more flirty, more touchy-feely etc, bewteen both males and females, and fem to fem - but, there's a fine line between what's acceptable touchy-feelyness and what's not, depending on the individual. Does that make sense? :confused:

I'd also add that the level of flirtiness depends on how well you know the person.
I've been in social situations where I've been with friends and someone has put their arm around me/touched my bum/kissed me and then someone I don't know thinks it's ok for them to do the same.
Errr No rolleyes