In light of the current climate everyone has had to cut back on what they spend on their hobbies and this must surely apply to the sex perverts among us as well.
I am sure some of the thrifty sex beasts here can share a handy tip or two for shagging strangers on a tight budget. Ill get the ball rolling ...........
1) Only fuck people who are within walking distance. Saves petrol and means you are warmed up when you get there from a nice brisk stroll.
2)Mazola mixed with toilet duck makes a cheaper alternative to those expensive massage oils.
3) Check Grandad's chest of drawers and cut the stained areas out of those baggy old Y-Fronts and hey presto, and erotic fetish costume for next to nothing !
4) Cut down on those expensive nibbles and aperitifs at swing parties by answering the door completely naked and grabbing any new guests by the cock/breasts and dragging them to the playroom before they get a chance to eat anything.
over to you..............
Host an orgy in your own home. Even better, restrict the invitations to people with a high fever. Watch your heating bills fall.
save all your chocolate bar wrappers and crisp packets and voila....free condoms!!
*note to user......remember to wash out the pickled onion or salt and vinegar crip packets before use!
5. Get that "Swinging club Jacuzzi" feel at a fraction of the cost. Have a tin of beans and some sprouts for tea and add Four boxes of Solvite Wallpaper paste to your bath.
6. Save money on vibrators. Buy your wife a year long bus pass with guaranteed access to the seat at the back above the engine.
7. If you are into watersports, do it in the garden, especially if there's a hosepipe ban still in force.
8. Champagne, foie gras, truffles and strawberries are all well and good off a naked body. However Tizer, Pizza and a creme egg or two are viable alternatives.
save £££££'s on lotions, creams, showergels , expensive beauty treatments, hot water and so on by not washing for the whole week before your meet.....really build up those pheremones, so your play date will immediately leap on you and shag your brains out!
Just realised... tip 12... Dreadful faux pas!
As you will have already realised, painting your wifes legs through a mesh fence with black spray paint will produce a negative effect on your ladies legs... (Ie, where the stocking should be, it will be skin, and vice versa).
Obviously in such circumstances, I'd suggest spraying your wifes leg entirely black, or red (whatever choice stocking you prefer) initially, and then to respray her in a colour more befitting her skin tone.
Phew!
You could actually save the expense of a bukkake party altogether. Firstly talk amongst yourselves awkwardly for an hour and tell some very poor but suggestive jokes and giggle in a false way. Get the missus to dance provocatively for twenty seconds, then using a plant spray cover the living room and your girls hair with pre-prepared egg the door half way through this process to simulate the one that leaves cos he cant get a hard on in front of the others and finally take a small but valuable item that you own and throw it away.
Try to sit around and muster up some feelings of disappointment about the whole affair and then drink too much and giggle/cuddle whilst talking about the one with the odd shaped dick.
Hey presto free bukkake
13. You say Aramis? I say Domestos. You say Paco Rabanne, I say Toilet duck.
14. Slightly soiled pondwater in an empty, preferably expensive, perfume bottle makes an excellent gift for saying goodbye to a swing date that didn't quite hit the mark.
15. Is it cold out when you want to swing? Save £££'s on your heating bill by setting fire to your furniture and all your belongings. It is considerably cheaper than switching the gas or electricity on at the moment. Either that or swing in gloves and a balaclava and you can add an element of fantasy role play by holding guns and pretending you are part of the TV Show "Ross Kemp on Gangbangs"
16. Flavoured condomns? Unnecessary frivolity. Head off to McDonalds and stick your manhood in the "McFlurry" machine to give your partners a sweeter taste.
apparently eating lots of tinned pineapple makes your semen taste sweet, which saves a fortune on presenting your date with expensive chocolates
I am crying so hard from laughing here ....
This is the best thread on the forum by far for a long time!
I just wish I had imagination ...
Let try free dogging simulation.
Lay rubber sheet in front of the fridge ( to simulate arse sticking to seat). Turn out all the kitchen lights,sit in silence for an hour. Then using a torch run round your girl in ever decreasing circles as she lays on the rubber sheet.
Turn off torch and sit for half an hour. Smoke cigarettes. Go outside and knock on kitchen window. Open fridge door - this is fab and simulates both curtesy light coming on and draft from outside! Masturbate profusely for a bit.
then repeat egg white advice from earlier post.
Voila the fabled indoor dogging sensation!
Invite a vigorous young stud in to pleasure your wife on the living room rug. Attach velcro to her back & buttocks, and a dynamo to his butt. Wire the dynamo up to a generator.
Result? Free power, and a clean carpet.
As opposed to the fake laughing I do when things ain't so funny... 
:worship: :worship:
