Al that Table Tennis has whetted my appetite for a bit of sport-other than the horizontal hockey that is...
The season is almost here, how about cobbling together an SH cricket team? I'm not much good, but can whack a few in the lower order, and can still send down a googly or two. I propose Will as Captain. Anyone else fancy putting willow to leather?
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Cricket anyone?
last reply
71 replies
3.0k views
2 watchers
0 likes
Sex God
Ohh ....Ohhh ....MrFC says can he be scrum half!!!! daft sod !!!!!!!!!!
I will be in the hut making tea and sarnies.
I will be in the hut making tea and sarnies.
Sex God
Well, an SH cricket team can't do any worse than England usually do.... OK, OK, I know they're winning at the mo 
Well, I'll be Third Man 
, Mrs FC is , obviously, Fine leg, Mrs Peel is Deep (under) Cover, Sarge can be Long On (so he tells me), Will is Captain and will play in the Covers with Sappho, Wilma will mind the stumps, Heather has volunteered for Gulley...the fielding is looking good!
Now batting is the problem. Carpy has gone for a duck every time, so, sorry mate,you're down the order. Fred is our 'Flintoff' equivalent and can club a few from the middle order. I'm told that Tongue can stay for ever, so , he's opening the innings with DJohn -well, he's Australian, so it must be in his genes. Mr Writer, I'm told, can pull 3,4 or even six!! :shock: , so he's in at number 3. Mr FC, can lock-up the innings at I don't mind going in last, ask anyone ( beggars can't be choosers).
Bowling is a bit iffy as well, we seem to have an entire team of swing bowlers. Luckily, Blue is an Out (side) swinger, so that gives a bit of balance to the attack. Kinky is our crafty slow bowler, and can come up with any sort of delivery-or at least a good Gif version of one. Can anyone manage 6 full tosses?
Alex can be in charge of drinks, and can run round and round the pitch , making us all very happy.
Ian and Dawn can organise the Munch, sorry, Lunch, and Steve g can organise venues, itinerary etc
Jags can be our Umpire (she used to bat but tended to slap her shots).
Well, it's shaping up. Any more suggestions or are we ready to rumble?
, Mrs FC is , obviously, Fine leg, Mrs Peel is Deep (under) Cover, Sarge can be Long On (so he tells me), Will is Captain and will play in the Covers with Sappho, Wilma will mind the stumps, Heather has volunteered for Gulley...the fielding is looking good!Now batting is the problem. Carpy has gone for a duck every time, so, sorry mate,you're down the order. Fred is our 'Flintoff' equivalent and can club a few from the middle order. I'm told that Tongue can stay for ever, so , he's opening the innings with DJohn -well, he's Australian, so it must be in his genes. Mr Writer, I'm told, can pull 3,4 or even six!! :shock: , so he's in at number 3. Mr FC, can lock-up the innings at I don't mind going in last, ask anyone ( beggars can't be choosers).
Bowling is a bit iffy as well, we seem to have an entire team of swing bowlers. Luckily, Blue is an Out (side) swinger, so that gives a bit of balance to the attack. Kinky is our crafty slow bowler, and can come up with any sort of delivery-or at least a good Gif version of one. Can anyone manage 6 full tosses?
Alex can be in charge of drinks, and can run round and round the pitch , making us all very happy.
Ian and Dawn can organise the Munch, sorry, Lunch, and Steve g can organise venues, itinerary etc
Jags can be our Umpire (she used to bat but tended to slap her shots).
Well, it's shaping up. Any more suggestions or are we ready to rumble?
Quote by tds
this thread reminds me of a great cricketing moment i heard about
Glenn McGrath (to Otto Brandes, tubby South African , after a 85mph
delivery whistles past OB's chin) : "Why are you so fat?" OB : Because
every time I f*ck your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Brilliant tds, still laughing now.
There are some really funny cricket anecdotes..
I like the one about 'Fiery Fred' Trueman, when at his imperious best: he sent down two scorchers which almost smashed the poor batsman's pads. Both LBW appeals were turned down by a stone faced umpire. 'Not out!'. Fred, even more fired up now, produced a humdinger that sent the batsman's stumps flying in all to umbire he remarked, 'Bloody hell, I nearly had him then!'
Or this form the legend Viv Richards
An English county bowler was having surprising success against the great
West Indian Viv Richards, who'd played and missed at several balls.
Foolishly, the bowler piped up: "Hey Viv, it's red and it's round." A
steaming Richards cracked the next ball into another postcode and told
the bowler," Hoy mon. You know what it looks like - go fetch it."
An English county bowler was having surprising success against the great
West Indian Viv Richards, who'd played and missed at several balls.
Foolishly, the bowler piped up: "Hey Viv, it's red and it's round." A
steaming Richards cracked the next ball into another postcode and told
the bowler," Hoy mon. You know what it looks like - go fetch it."
Mod
Can I be in the Team photo?
I'll even keep the 'covers' on in case of inclement weather!!
And not forgetting that classic from Jonners
Mal
I'll even keep the 'covers' on in case of inclement weather!!
And not forgetting that classic from Jonners
'The batsman's Holding, the bowlers Willey'
Mal
Warming the Bed
Is there space for me too? I am probably best in the pavillion rather than on the field.
Having been a spectator from a young age I hope I am allowed plenty of time to watch the action
Rachel
Having been a spectator from a young age I hope I am allowed plenty of time to watch the action
Rachel
Sex God
Quote by the_tongue
Ive got suggest that Debs_UK fields at fine leg cos shes got damn "FINE LEGS".But which female can we have as the deep throat extra cover ????? Saying that i dont know any with Square Legs either.
clears said throat and whispers "erm.. I think I might be able to volunteer for that job"
Sex God
Quote by the_tongue
Were you volunteering Angel Chat,that font is so small i cant read it
<tries again> "I think I might be able to volunteer for that job"
Sex God
Mrs davej has a mean wrist action and can whip a pair of bails outa their resting place as quick as the next so if the team aint filled yet give us a shout.
