Critique Roger's Ad Response Technique

4 May 2004

Quote by mal609
How about asking an unbiased person to look at them for you? You could either post it on here and ask all and sundry for their comments, good and bad, or send it to maybe a mix of single guy, single girl and a couple and ask for comments.

Okay, here goes! Here's something random from my outbox. I wouldn't say it's my best work or my worst; it's kinda average. I don't have a copy of the advert (although IIRC it made a big point of only being interested in "genuine" people), but this is what I sent in response:

Hello XXXXX! I saw your ad on the swinging-heaven site and felt compelled to write to you.
Firstly, let me say you have very impressive hair! And the background of your picture has me almost as intrigued... is that a net curtain or a forest over your right shoulder?
I'd better tell you a little about me. I'm a 27-year-old genuine man (at least, I was last time I looked...) from Redditch. I'm single (genuinely) and looking for cosy, erotic friendships with cosy, erotic (genuine) ladies, I work in I.T. (but don't let that put you off), and see myself as a fairly mild-mannered guy with a slightly ironic sense of humour. I prefer to (try to) dress smartly and enjoy a laugh and a joke, a chat and a cuddle, and...
I've attached one of my pictures (I think it's my best, although I do usually wear more clothes than that!). I also have an ad of my own on swinging-heaven at
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/photo-adverts/swingers-43168.html
If you're interested, send me an email and we can have a chat and see where things go. Cheers,
Roger.

Attached was this picture:

Thoughts welcome. Be brutal! Come on, put the boot in; it's for my own good! :twisted:

4 May 2004

Hi Roger,
I don't see anything wrong in your email at all. Or your picture. The only thing I would say is that maybe you could wear something different in your photo other than a dressing gown (if that's what it is). That's the only thing I can say really, your response sounded nice and if a guy was what I was looking for then I'd consider yours.

4 May 2004

Thanks RedVelvet.

Quote by RedVelvet
The only thing I would say is that maybe you could wear something different in your photo other than a dressing gown (if that's what it is).

Yeah, I agree on that; I'd much rather have been in a shirt and tie. IIRC I took the picture on the spur of the moment (I can't even remember why anymore) and I thought it looked much better than any of my other pictures so I kept it around. (Angel, you've seen some of my other pictures so you can confirm this, right? :twisted: )

4 May 2004

Hi roger!
Just wondering if you are wearing matching purple towelling briefs under the dressing gown??

4 May 2004

Hey, a fellow y-front-eer!!

Quote by Kinky Lizard
Hi roger!
Just wondering if you are wearing matching purple towelling briefs under the dressing gown??

No, I was nekkid. :rascal:

4 May 2004

roger743 typed:

No, I was nekkid.

"He was nekkid everyone! NEKKID!!! Argghhhh! quick abandon ship! Run for your lives!!women and children first!"
KinkyLizard <---- Y Fronts till i die!

4 May 2004

Hi Roger
I've ripped your ad to pieces and posted it back to you by PM :grin: , but it's all constructive criticsm and advice, so don't despair. Anything else you need to know, just ask.
Mal
lol

4 May 2004

Oooh Roger, you look bluddy gorgeous cool

8-) 8-)
Sorry was there an ad with that, didn't notice :twisted:

4 May 2004

Quote by mal609
I've ripped your ad to pieces and posted it back to you by PM :grin:

PM right back atcha, explaining why the only thing wrong with my ad is not enough pictures of my y-fronts. :lol2:
Okay, in seriousness - thanks, Mal. Mal had some pretty good advice for me. Come on people, don't be shy. Imagine my message is sitting in your inbox right now - what will you be thinking?

4 May 2004

Just PM'd you Roger.....hope it helps but feel free to discard it all if you want to lol

4 May 2004

Cheers Helen... yes it does help.
One thing that both Helen and Mal picked up on, and I just want to explain, is this:

Quote by roger743
I'm a 27-year-old genuine man (at least, I was last time I looked...) from Redditch. I'm single (genuinely) and looking for cosy, erotic friendships with cosy, erotic (genuine) ladies

The lady in question, as near as I can recall, had repeated the word "genuine" several times in her ad, and I was trying to echo this (by saying everything about me was "genuine" and also repeating "cosy, erotic") to make a small joke or talking point in my response. It's since been pointed out to me that this was maybe a wee bit patronizing, and the wrong type of humour to try on a perfect stranger.
Keep it coming people, this is all good stuff. smile

4 May 2004

All I wanted to pick you up on.. is that fact that you have one of those â€œdoilyâ€ things over the back of your sofa! Just like my grandmother. confused

This would have been enough to send me running for the hills, I would not even have noticed your email!
:crazy:

4 May 2004

Imagine my message is sitting in your inbox right now - what will you be thinking

"I'll get Kit to have a look at that when she gets home" wink

lhk
Kat

4 May 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe
All I wanted to pick you up on.. is that fact that you have one of those â€œdoilyâ€ things over the back of your sofa! Just like my grandmother.

I think I need some help to make some better pictures of me. Volunteers...? :P

4 May 2004

All I wanted to pick you up on.. is that fact that you have one of those â€œdoilyâ€ things over the back of your sofa! Just like my grandmother.

4 May 2004

Nonsense; I only impale and eat non-family-members. smile

In seriousness, I'm not sure what's wrong with the doily; keeps my greasy head from making a mark on my sofa or making it smell. I thought women liked men who left the toilet seat down? ;)

4 May 2004

roger wrote:

Nonsense; I only impale and eat non-family-members.
In seriousness, I'm not sure what's wrong with the doily; keeps my greasy head from making a mark on my sofa or making it smell. I thought women liked men who left the toilet seat down?

:D :D :D

4 May 2004

I'm not so sure it is a doily on the back of the sofa. I think it's a pair of Rogers pants!!!
I love the pink dressing gown, it goes with your eyes.
Seriously........I quite like your ad Roger!!
Love
Wilma
x x x x

4 May 2004

Quote by JudyTV
[ Yes well spotted WBB, I saw that too if I remember rightly they are called "Antimacassars"

and they say u dont learn somethign everyday!!!!!
cheers judy!
i will try and drop the word into conversation at work tomorrow and see if anyone knows what they are!
lol
WBB

4 May 2004

Its not a doily it is an Antimacassar.

4 May 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
I'm not so sure it is a doily on the back of the sofa. I think it's a pair of Rogers pants!!!
I love the pink dressing gown, it goes with your eyes.
Seriously........I quite like your ad Roger!!
Love
Wilma
x x x x

Quote by JQL
Its not a doily it is an Antimacassar.

Sorry JQL I submit my new message.
I'm not so sure it is your aunties knackers jar on the back of the sofa. I think it's a pair of Rogers pants!!!
I love the pink dressing gown, it goes with your eyes.
Seriously........I quite like your ad Roger!!
Love
Wilma
x x x x
How did I do JQL? lol

4 May 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
How did I do JQL?

Brilliantly :rotflmao:

4 May 2004

Quote by WilmaFlintstone
I'm not so sure it is your aunties knackers jar on the back of the sofa. I think it's a pair of Rogers pants!!!

:shock: :shock: OMG Roger please say it's your pants on the back of the sofa.... I would hate for your Auntie to be without her knackers jar...... lol

:lol:
Shireen
xxx

4 May 2004

Quote by well_busty_babe

Love to see you try and drop that into a conversation casually.
Only way you could do it is maybe take one in and put it on the back of your chair.

4 May 2004

Quote by shireen-steve
:shock: :shock: OMG Roger please say it's your pants on the back of the sofa.... I would hate for your Auntie to be without her knackers jar...... :lol:

Nothing I can say would be half as interesting as what's going on in you folks' heads. :lol2:

4 May 2004

Quote by roger743
Nothing I can say would be half as interesting as what's going on in you folks' heads. :lol2:

You mean you can read minds as well!!!... :shock: :shock: :shock:
Shireen
xxx

5 May 2004

I can see a new game coming up on Saturday - how many times 'Antimacassar' gets mentioned at the Munch! rotflmao

Mal

5 May 2004

just thought i would let you know that i am now sat with a bit of white kitchen roll over the back of my swivel chair.......(not enough time to go and get a real life bonafide Antimacassar).
everytime someone points it out i tell them in no uncertain terms what it is! :doh:
can i ask a favour.. if you dont hear from me again.. tell my mum, loucie has been sectioned, but is fine! :crazy:
luv WBB
x

5 May 2004

This was in the PM that Roger sent me in reply to me disecting his ad. We both went to great lengths and detail on this to try and get him the right perspective. However, he wrote this in reply to me, but this would have have been great in his Ad, don't you think?
As time went on I realised what I really wanted was physical friends I could see and touch or at least talk with on the phone - as opposed to all the virtual friends I've accumulated in a decade online. Nothing against virtual friendships, they're great things and I wouldn't give up some of virtual friends for the world - but as I'd said, I felt this wasn't where the hole in my life was. And nothing beats hearing a voice on the phone, or seeing the eyes of the person you're talking to, watching their lips move... it's especially wonderful if you can be intimate with that person, take them on a ride across the sky then have another chat afterwards.
Hope you don't mind me publishing a section from a PM, Roger, but I think you are definitely on the right track and things should soon start looking up - as soon as you lose the Antimacassar!!!
Mal
lol

5 May 2004

Wow, I love that quote......you'd definitely get lots of replies with that in your email Roger!!! I might even reply to you myself.... :twisted: LoL