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And as for Matt - your apology is graciously accepted :beer: :beer:
You have to remember that most guys keep their brains in their underpants
Quote by Jags
And as for Matt - your apology is graciously accepted :beer: :beer:
like a true Princess
You don't know how happy I am now Jags, :smile2:
I don't know what I would do if you were still upset, I was considering some serious groveling!! worship
But now that you're happy again I can get back to some bum scratching.
Ahhhh
Jags, after I've finished scratching do you want somebody to do your ironing for you? I also do washing up, vacuum, dusting, polishing, various drink fetching and even ordering pizzas! But I suppose I should of said all this in the Slave auction room. Oh well. Back to work me thinks.
:shock: Well, it does say anything and everything on his profile! :shock: So, of course, he will be more than willing to do all this dressed in any outfit of your choice! - or not, as the case may be :twisted:
lhk
Kat
Damn it - have just spent 4 hours doing the ironing!!! Mind you, first time in months but a friend told me off for not ironing my bed linen - have to admit it does look more inviting now it's crease free but didn't know there were guys out in the wide yonder who wanted to do it.
OK.. who wants to iron Jags' bed linen????
:happy: :happy:
Damn it - have just spent 4 hours doing the ironing
thats your smalls done then. :twisted:
lhk
Kat
HUGE SLAP!!
HUGE SNOG
So... no-one wants to iron my bed linen??? I know someone who may be tempted!!!
x xx
wink naked apart from lingerie, a big smile, and liberal amounts of baby oil??
lhk
Kat
Quote by KitKat
wink naked apart from lingerie, a big smile, and liberal amounts of baby oil??
lhk
Kat

You're good... not the best but a close second!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Is "iron my bed linen" a new euphemism that I haven't encountered before? "Come on babe, let's go back and iron the bed linen together". That hot steamy iron sliding smoothly over... excuse me.
Quote by DJohn
Is "iron my bed linen" a new euphemism that I haven't encountered before? "Come on babe, let's go back and iron the bed linen together". That hot steamy iron sliding smoothly over... excuse me.

8) - NOPE - just bed linen!!! Nothing sexual, interesting or stimulating. Sorry, can't keep on doing it.
x xx
Hi Jags,
Can I just say I don't hate dick pics but it is not the first or only thing I want to see.
If guys think that is all they are then they are selling themselves short.
Come on guys, lets see YOU not just a small part of you.
Tik.
I have never bothered to iron my bed linen, and no-one can make me. I hate ironing!
:-)
I hate ironing!
Ditto!
Kit
xxx
Just had a horrid thought here!
If we combine the results of this thread and the threads on the munches there is a real problem in that single males have asked to come along to the munches......
How the hell will anyone recognise them - will they all arrive with their dicks hanging out so people know who they are?
Perhaps it could be a party game for later on - match the cock to the face?
Or even something along the lines of the women wearing a badge with the cock they love the most from their vast repertoire of emailed pics they have and if a single male has the matching cock - bingo!
The possibilities are endless here!
ROFL
Excellent Idea!
Fred - that is SO yeugh!!! Stop it.
Goes off to be sick.
x x
Quote by DJohn
Well, yes. Blue and her strap-on come under the heading "Pleasure". A room full of illiterate single men with three metre penises does not.
I'd be hesitant about a three metre strap-on, but she has the great advantage of being able to read and write.

Hahahahaha - do you think that will make her any more forgiving?
Do you think if you give her a written note saying you are excused from being penetrated by the last 2 metres of a 3 metre strap-on she will take any notice..................
Reckon I would rather be beaten to death by the room full of 3 metre cocks - it can only be an imaginery beating because they are only imaginery cocks..........
Run man!
Quote by Jags
Fred - that is SO yeugh!!! Stop it.
Goes off to be sick.

Wait a minute hun - think about it - at least the single males do not need to be engaged in conversation for the whole evening - they can just go around comparing horsepower and size with one another and then just be dragged off if they get a match!
Thought I would find you in here Fred!!
Can I just say one thing darling. Funny how you never complain about the pussy pics. rolleyes
I wonder why? :confused2:
Love your nearest and dearest.
(That would be Wilma just in case you forgot)
x x x x
Jeez!
Who let her in here?
You leave my pics alone - I have to say in my defence that I never get sent pussy pics as an introduction - these ladies always send me those pics once we get to know one another!
I have never, never, never got an email saying female, 36, midlands, tight pussy - pics enclosed - wanna shag! With a nice big close up (out of focus and dark) of what can best be described as some raw liver on a pink plate!
But I can always live in hope!
Let me ask you this dear - how many women in this forum or from this site have seen a pic of my best bits? None......
Errrrrrr..... one redface ahem....
She begged me! :shock: Anyone that daft deserves the picture! Hahahahaha.
Anyway - thought you were supposed to ill - bugger off back to your sick bed!
F**K ME!
Got a corker this morning Jags!
hi male leicester

With 1 pic enclosed! evil :evil:
Punctuation and composition naff - spelling and honesty ok - 50% - we are getting there!
Think a 3 word reply will suffice? Was thinking along the lines of "No. F**k Off! - or is it a waste of good capitals and punctuation? Perhaps it should be just "no f**k off"! :twisted:
Personally I blame Mark! This anonymous mail system is great - it just means though with only 1 picture being allowed - they have to choose just 1 pic - and guess which one always wins!
I wouldn't even bother replying to something as ill mannered as that Fred!
Phew!!
x x
Quote by Fred
there is a real problem in that single males have asked to come along to the munches......

I'm surprised this hasn't happened. The response so far has been predominantly from couples. Perhaps it's too much of a social event for the "I've got 10 inches who wants it?" brigade? smile
How on earth they expect to be invited into a social circle (or even triangle) with that approach bewilders me!
If we're chatting to people over the net, it's usually Blue Eyes who does the talking- it's what she's good at (believe me!)
She posted an ad on another site and got about 50 replies and most of them were along the line of "how would you like this rammed into you?" or "can u handle this?".
I didn't even let her reply, not that she was going to anyway but having these sort of manners doesn't even merit a reply.
I imagine the "I've got 10 inches who wants it?" brigade aren't actually interesting in socialising. They just want to get their dicks wet.
Tik
I got a reply once from someone asking if I could handle this, with a dick pic enclosed and I replied saying of course, I've got one just like that at home except it's two inches bigger.
Needless to say, it was the last I've heard from him!!
Can I just say one thing darling. Funny how you never complain about the pussy pics.
Wilma! kiss Can I just say, publicly, that I think you are a wonderful person for all you have to put up with. You have my profoundest respect and sympathy, for all the Freddieness that you have to put up with, the world is a better place for people like you. Fred, for all his good points (and I am sure though well hidden, there are many) does not show you enough appreciation through pampering, loving, and tending to your every whim and desire.
I am sure that everyone on this site will join me in hoping, nay, insisting, nay, DEMANDING, that Fred relinquishes all his other duties to meet your every need an ensure a speedy and complete recovery so that you are once more your evivescent womanly best.
with fond regards
lhk
Kat
P.S. sorry Fred, Kit made me write that wink
Quote by Flintstones
How the hell will anyone recognise them - will they all arrive with their dicks hanging out so people know who they are?

My suggestion is that all the guys who do not send face pictures MUSThave their names tattooed on their dicks.
Quote by Twisted - Sister
My suggestion is that all the guys who do not send face pictures MUST have their names tattooed on their dicks.

And what about all those that don't have a three letter name like Tim, Tom, Bob etc...
How will they fit the tattoo on?
Fred said:
have never, never, never got an email saying female, 36, midlands, tight pussy - pics enclosed - wanna shag! With a nice big close up (out of focus and dark) of what can best be described as some raw liver on a pink plate!
Really? everyone else gets lots of them! :smug:
lhk
Kat
x