Do you qualify to be a Professional ?

20 Apr 2005

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question! :shock: :shock: :shock:
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? confused

:? :?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? :? :? :?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend? :? :? :?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. ;There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? :? :? :?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old. lol

:lol: :lol: :lol:

20 Apr 2005

I got them ALL wrong at the first attempt :cry:
but ALL right at the second........................ smile

does that make me a professional four year old?? confused

:?

20 Apr 2005

Quote by Nomad_Soul
I got them ALL wrong at the first attempt :cry:
but ALL right at the second........................
does that make me a professional four year old?? :?

No - that makes you a cheat!! :shock: :shock: lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

20 Apr 2005

I dont agree with those questions anyway,its cruel to put animals in the fridge so they shouldnt be allowed, so ner ner ner ner ner flipa

:flipa: :flipa:

20 Apr 2005

Quote by Clare_Lincs
I dont agree with those questions anyway,its cruel to put animals in the fridge so they shouldnt be allowed, so ner ner ner ner ner :flipa: :flipa:

I guess you got them all wrong then Clare? wink

:twisted:
Roger cool

20 Apr 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
I dont agree with those questions anyway,its cruel to put animals in the fridge so they shouldnt be allowed, so ner ner ner ner ner :flipa: :flipa:

I guess you got them all wrong then Clare? wink

:twisted:
Roger cool

No Im NOT wrong,Im always right being female :smug: I was trying to point out that the questions are wrong you see lol

20 Apr 2005

Quote by Clare_Lincs
I dont agree with those questions anyway,its cruel to put animals in the fridge so they shouldnt be allowed, so ner ner ner ner ner :flipa: :flipa:

Perhaps you should start a campaign to stop giraffes and elephants being put into fridges. :shock: :shock: :shock:
I'm sure Tania would be willing to help!! confused

:? :?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

20 Apr 2005

I got the 3rd one right, which shows I have good memory.
It also shows I'm a semi-professional with the mind of a 4 year old, which sounds about right

20 Apr 2005

Well I've seen it before, a long time ago, so I got most of them right. But I'd make sure the refrigerator was big enough first. Maybe I'd need to ask the giraffe to bend his neck first.

20 Apr 2005

kids think in black and white
adults spend too much time trying to rationalise things
the world could be a better place if we sometimes thought like a child

20 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
I dont agree with those questions anyway,its cruel to put animals in the fridge so they shouldnt be allowed, so ner ner ner ner ner :flipa: :flipa:

Perhaps you should start a campaign to stop giraffes and elephants being put into fridges. :shock: :shock: :shock:
I'm sure Tania would be willing to help!! confused

:? :?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thats a bloody Good idea,but youll have to be firmly told off by the elephant and giraffe police though :lol:

20 Apr 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I got all of them wrong, but my daughter got the first 3 correct and then argued about the last answer, saying No she would have used the bloody bridge lol
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

20 Apr 2005

Tut Tut Tut Sarge .. the search button is your friend rolleyes

:roll:
Third post from the bottom of this thread !!!!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopicpage/9244/60.html?sid=dacc83989e4ff6eb31d18a9fa1945719
C x ;)

20 Apr 2005

Thanks for that Calista!!
mad

:x :x :x :x :x :x
:kick: :kick: :kick:

20 Apr 2005

QUESTION 2
was easy
The rest well hard
so does that make me 25% professional

20 Apr 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Thanks for that Calista!!
:x :x :x :x :x :x
:kick: :kick: :kick:

Always a pleasure to "help" a Mod Sarge smile

:Giggle:

20 Apr 2005

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers

Also proves that professionals can't count. How can you get several correct answers out of 4 questions?

20 Apr 2005

Quote by tallnhairy

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers

Also proves that professionals can't count. How can you get several correct answers out of 4 questions?
Umm, several means many, not to do with the number 7 smile

20 Apr 2005

I stand corrected smile

sevÂ·erÂ·al Audio pronunciation of "several" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (svr-l, svrl)
adj.
1. Being of a number more than two or three but not many: several miles away.

20 Apr 2005

I made a total mess of it.
I cut up all the animals a put them in the freezer
The Fridge is full of beer and I am not taking that out

20 Apr 2005

This thread is sooo fucking appropriate today :huh:
Mebbe I'll print it up and take it into work.
Venusxxx

20 Apr 2005

What I want to know is where is the Lion King hosting this conference, so I can avoid the animal 'traffic jam' lol

20 Apr 2005

I got them all wrong redface

But then I never claimed to be a Professional in any way shape or form.....LoL......I'm not sure what I am though confused

20 Apr 2005

prefessional dunce!!!!

20 Apr 2005

Quite a few people describe themselves as "professional" these days. The ones I'm most sceptical about are the ones who can't spell it correctly!
Mike.

20 Apr 2005

I'm sure that nobody here would be a professional....
after all, professionals aren't allowed to advertise their services here!
:giggle: bolt

20 Apr 2005

Hurrah ! I got them all wrong ........my rightful place in the white house is assured. ! an my first order will be to shut down all fridges containing weapons of mass destruction.......

20 Apr 2005

Didn't get beyond stage one here.............The Giraffe kicked up one hell of a din, the minute I opened the fridge door, now I don't know if this particular Giraffe has been shoe horned into a fridge before and is just wary of em or if the sudden glare of the fridges light startled the beast when I opened the door, either way it wasn't havin it. I was forced to give up on it because as docile as they look, if they decide to dig their heels into your cushion floor, there's no moving em.
Mrs davej has arrived home now and isn't best pleased......not best pleased at all. Not only is her vinyl damaged but the fucking thing has taken a liking to the various fruits that she has stencilled onto the walls, you would have thought that just a lick wouldn't be much of a problem, but this things got a tongue as rough as a rasp and the size of a shovel...trust me it can and has removed the paint from the wall.
I'm doing my best to follow it around with the cat litter tray, cos I know whats gonna happen next and sort of gauging things based on body size, I've got a nasty suspicion that when it does decide to curl one down, a sheet of kitchen roll and a dab of bleach just isn't gonna cut it.
We are gonna try and deal with one problem at a time with the most pressing being getting 12ft of blotchy trouble out of our home, what the fuck I'm going to tell her when she opens the garage to put the car away and finds Dumbo standing in there munching on a bunch of hay is anyone's guess, but I sure as hell aint going to tell her that it was his turn next :shock:

20 Apr 2005

:grin: :lol2: :laughabove: :laughabove: :grin: :rotflmao:

20 Apr 2005

Quote by davej
Didn't get beyond stage one here.............The Giraffe kicked up one hell of a din, the minute I opened the fridge door, now I don't know if this particular Giraffe has been shoe horned into a fridge before and is just wary of em or if the sudden glare of the fridges light startled the beast when I opened the door, either way it wasn't havin it. I was forced to give up on it because as docile as they look, if they decide to dig their heels into your cushion floor, there's no moving em.
Mrs davej has arrived home now and isn't best pleased......not best pleased at all. Not only is her vinyl damaged but the fucking thing has taken a liking to the various fruits that she has stencilled onto the walls, you would have thought that just a lick wouldn't be much of a problem, but this things got a tongue as rough as a rasp and the size of a shovel...trust me it can and has removed the paint from the wall.
I'm doing my best to follow it around with the cat litter tray, cos I know whats gonna happen next and sort of gauging things based on body size, I've got a nasty suspicion that when it does decide to curl one down, a sheet of kitchen roll and a dab of bleach just isn't gonna cut it.
We are gonna try and deal with one problem at a time with the most pressing being getting 12ft of blotchy trouble out of our home, what the fuck I'm going to tell her when she opens the garage to put the car away and finds Dumbo standing in there munching on a bunch of hay is anyone's guess, but I sure as hell aint going to tell her that it was his turn next :shock:

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Davej.... what would the world be like without you?