Erection dilemma...

6 Nov 2005

Quote by HarryJones

Harry, how come you are a virgin? Is it your decision?

I thought most people on here knew. Yes it is my decision, I am an old fashioned type bloke, I wear slippers, flat cap, Ive seen Slim Whitman and Val Doonican in concert, and I'm waiting for the lady I want to spend my whole life with before losing it, BUT I have as much other fun as I can. But to be honest, the amount of success I have on the dancefloors at non sh events I think I would still be a virgin anyway.
There is one big bonus to this of course, it means I haven't shagged girldogger/catlover/lusty33uk etc biggrin

Regards
Harry Jones
A virgin on a swinger site :shock:
your having a laff

6 Nov 2005

well if mary got away with being a virgin then so am I biggrin

6 Nov 2005

Quote by markz
well if mary got away with being a virgin then so am I

I agree - always struck me as one of the least believable excuses ever -
"Yes, I'm living with this guy, and yes I'm pregnant, but honestly I'm still a virgin, so it must have been immaculate conception."
I bet everyone believed that...

6 Nov 2005

Quote by smokerjim
Just to smack this into left field for a mo, I want to say that I can't keep it up with a prophylactic on and a willing woman waiting :shock: :shock: - going bareback with smoking muff ( the wife ) or anyone else we both trust is no problem, but when it is time to cover Mr Lover, he goes on strike! :x As a swinger, I find that to be a real irritation :x - and why I only seem to socialise with you here and in RL!!!!

Well leaving aside the obvious comment that smoking is a well know cause of errection problems...
Have you tried getting her to put it on rather than you?

6 Nov 2005

Quote by Mark Horne
Have you tried getting her to put it on rather than you?

jim is their something your not telling about muff rolleyes

6 Nov 2005

Quote by Mark Horne
going bareback with smoking muff ( the wife ) or anyone else we both trust is no problem, but when it is time to cover Mr Lover, he goes on strike! :x

Well leaving aside the obvious comment that smoking is a well know cause of errection problems...

Leaving aside your condescending attitude, didn't you notice that he said he had no problems when he goes bareback rolleyes

6 Nov 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
A virgin on a swinger site :shock:
your having a laff

Despite Nineteen months and 946 posts here, I can admit that it's very easy when you are as socially inept and as backwards about coming forwards as me, I have actually only swung with about four women as a result of being on here, so would also have had very little trouble remaining a virgin due to lack of opportunity had I wanted to shag.
Adverts have only given me two results, but again I state in there in the first place what my intentions are. Of course dogging is a different kettle of fish and have thus turned down the opportunity scores of times, including most memorably a stunning blonde woman who was giving me a bj on a picnic table and true to her word left once she had brought me to within four seconds of orgasm leaving me sat in broad daylight with my jeans and boxers around my ankles, with a huge stiff on this picnic table (on a blanket of course) and about ten blokes all stood round this same table looking at me in stunned disbelief that she really had gone :lol:
Regards
Harry Jones

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Angel Chat
Leaving aside your condescending attitude, didn't you notice that he said he had no problems when he goes bareback

Ouch...
It wasn't meant to be condescending, and if it sounded so then I apologise to all concerned.

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Cummer
I have a problem, in getting an erection too easily.

Close your eyes and repeat, "Ann Widdecombe ......... Ann Widdecombe ......."
If your problem persists, you really do have a problem!! wink

7 Nov 2005

You could always try taking female hormones,,,,
Come on over the waters lovely. :twisted:

7 Nov 2005

Quote by Angel Chat
going bareback with smoking muff ( the wife ) or anyone else we both trust is no problem, but when it is time to cover Mr Lover, he goes on strike! :x

Well leaving aside the obvious comment that smoking is a well know cause of errection problems...

Leaving aside your condescending attitude, didn't you notice that he said he had no problems when he goes bareback rolleyes

Thank you Angel kiss

- remember to tap me for a :cheers: when you see me ( Marcuso's? ) :kiss:

8 Nov 2005

Quote by markz
well if mary got away with being a virgin then so am I

Yeah, virgin on the ridiculous!

8 Nov 2005

But seriously, I only tend to get innapropriate boners when I'm really tired (my body wants to get horizontal so my cock thinks it's time to get vertical???). I've just signed up to be a life model, so I'm gonna make sure I'm not tired when I'm doing that!!!
Wear underwear that is tight enough to keep your member close to you rather than being a tent pole in your trousers, then you can go shopping without your little friend getting you into trouble!
Advertise the fact that you have guaranteed wood on a swinging website and wait for the PMs to come flooding in.
That's all.

8 Nov 2005

There is the old fashioned method, allegedly started by Prince Albert, ( Queen Victoria's husband and "Consort" ). Simply have your Hampton pierced, and when healed tie it to your leg. If you do not belive me, research "Prince Albert" ( or "P.A." ) piercings.

8 Nov 2005

Quote by Maia

If his fiddling is disturbing you then try tying him to the bed, although that might be counter-productive :twisted:

Too true, Osmosis. The man is perverted enough as he is.
He bought me a pair of nipple clamps yesterday, not realising that when one has nipples the size of Brazil nuts, nipple clamps can be mighy painful. In the end, I found somewhere else to put them. Will have to check his bollocks for marks later. :shock:
Sounds like you need some jump leads! I have a a pair in my car......

8 Nov 2005

Quote by smokerjim
Just to smack this into left field for a mo, I want to say that I can't keep it up with a prophylactic on and a willing woman waiting :shock: :shock: - going bareback with smoking muff ( the wife ) or anyone else we both trust is no problem, but when it is time to cover Mr Lover, he goes on strike! :x As a swinger, I find that to be a real irritation :x - and why I only seem to socialise with you here and in RL!!!!

This may be a stupid question, but wouldn't a cock ring solve that problem? I'm not an expert, having merely improvised them on a couple of occasions - ok I was taking a couple of cock pics and found out that I couldn't hold the camera steady and maintain a boner at the same time, but they seem to work.
Where's Eagerslut when you need him? I'm sure he'd be able to advise on whether this might work.

9 Nov 2005

Quote by smokerjim
There is the old fashioned method, allegedly started by Prince Albert, ( Queen Victoria's husband and "Consort" ). Simply have your Hampton pierced, and when healed tie it to your leg. If you do not belive me, research "Prince Albert" ( or "P.A." ) piercings.

Is that were the "Goose Step" originated from biggrin

9 Nov 2005

Quote by Phoenix
There is the old fashioned method, allegedly started by Prince Albert, ( Queen Victoria's husband and "Consort" ). Simply have your Hampton pierced, and when healed tie it to your leg. If you do not belive me, research "Prince Albert" ( or "P.A." ) piercings.

Is that were the "Goose Step" originated from biggrin

No but my walk was a dead ringer for John Wayne's for two weeks
( In edit.....that should have read "No, but my friend's walk....."