ive always found people sorta ignore you (id rather say just haveing a quiet moment )when their feeling a bit down
and when they feel great they pm all the time
:twisted:
Ok,got it.
Is there anyway of telling in advance though?I guess we've all been let down at some point in our lives by people we thought were each experience,good or bad teaches us something.
I dunno.
Lb
Sometimes I think its easier to just not have close proper friends then that way you cant get hurt etc! Which always seems to be the way or at least feels like that at times!
Sometimes I dont talk to people for a while but its nothing personal just I know if I feel really shit Im better off not talking to anybody as I feel sometimes I just drag people down with me!
Good topic!
I think that sometimes people are too quick to use the word “friendâ€, when in fact they mean acquaintance.
I believe (think) that sometimes when people advertise on here that they are looking for people to be friends with as well as have sex, often actually mean they want people with whom they can be friendly and have sex.
The oldest trick in the book is to say “look, friendship is important to me and I wouldn’t want sex without it†They could really be saying “I am a caring person so now you must want to fuck me!†I suspect that women are most vulnerable to this tactic.
I can see Maryas point as she has stated that she is not a swinger she is always concerned that people (I suspect guys) play the friendship card in order to try to change her mind. If anyone states that they are looking for just friendship and sex or just friendship, the predators will of course use friendship as a means to an end.
How you spot this, I don’t really know. I think a friendship grows gradually and naturally – if someone seems to be fast tracking, perhaps they have an ulterior motive.
TBH I didnt come here looking for true friends. In RL I have perhps 2 people who i would classify as Real Friends, people I can count on in an emergency and who i know will stick by me whatever i do. There are also 3 family members who i classify as friends, in that if we wernt related we would still be friends.
Sh is and alwys was for something i can easily find in real life, however i guess i have found say 2 people who i would count as real friends on here!!
To me a real friend is someone who gives as much as they take and is reliable and supportive, i dont feel i have the right to ask for anymore
In real life we have all met people who come along and take help but never pay it back, but thats life,maybe they arnt able to repay you, it dosnt matter as long as you have helped them it will all come back to yu, maybe not frome the source you expect but it will come back.
Just editing my post to say that to me friendship is something that happens over years not weeks!!!
On here, it's mostly Bev talking (me) so usually my posts refer to 'me'. Because it's usually me, the friends we make are mine first and when we meet, Chris either agrees totally or sees them for what they are (or rather, what they seek!).
Marya, you have people who you think are friends but are only friends to try to persuade you to swing. I know exactly what you mean.
However, I have also had people whom I know are not 'swingers' as such and I have regarded them as friends (without ever expecting any more than friendship) but who have ultimately stopped talking to me because they felt that, as an active swinger, I would try to persuade them!!
At the time, I was very upset about this, but it wasn't my fault and I was quite happy to remain friends without swinging, so it's their loss I'm afraid cos there aren't many people who would be friends without ulterior motives(it was a single bi fem!).
I tend to take people as I find them on here, then see what happens when we meet IRL More often than not, it's good, but like anyone else, I have made mistakes. I just have an 'oh well' attitude and usually keep chatting to the person/couple unless they really pissed me off lol.
So Ice, to answer your question, I think it's possible to spot some 'users' but there are some who will slip through one's defences and you have to be prepared to be let down or disappointed at some stage - that's life, eh?
Bev
xx
I'm not sure I can responsibly answer this question, I think in RL maybe I'm both, even maybe to the same people on different occasions. I'm good in a crisis, (I think), but I'm also very fond, almost certainly too fond, of my own company so I can turn away if the moment isn't right for me.
In years past though not recently, I have even been known to go off to bed with guests in the house because they didn't seem to want to leave, and my wife deep in conversation with them, and me an hour passed being amused by their presence.
I have also been surprised in my life by the discovery that it is often the most unlikely people, perhaps people you have distained from getting close to, who come out of the woodwork and show a wonderful side to themselves you never knew existed, just at the right time when you most needed the strength of someone.
SH however is different on too many counts to mention. We're each like a pin ball bouncing here and bouncing there, meeting briefly to agree or disagree in a thread, before charging off on a new direction. I'm not referring here to the real swingers, only to the cyber involved such as me. But even in their scenario I'd be interested to know the depth of friendships that have developed in swinging partnerships, do they survive beyond the bedroom?
I'm not sure if Ice was referring to SH or RL, I've probably got the wrong end of everyones stick as usual! Sexually speaking, I'm probably the only person here who's actually frightened witless by the prospect of actually having to DO it. My life has been so celebate for so long I wonder if I'll remember the moves, particularly because logically the people on this site are a great deal more sexually experienced than me, perhaps not in life, but certainly in recent history. I'm probably better off starting out somewhere less predatory. Although I fantasise about the sex quite a lot, I don't see the friendships here as sexual, they're just nice people who exchange views and mail with me.
I dont believe that their is anyway to truly judge if a person is a user or a friend. Firstly as mentioned by alot of other people, the definition of friend is a hard one.
I knew a bloke for 2 and a half years and we shared a house for 6 months (nothing sexual, just cheap rent) we basically did every thing together he was like the big brother i never had. So when i found him in bed with my girlfriend you can guess that i was not particually happy with the situation.
Also now that i have moved away from the area where i grew up, albeit only 5 miles away i very rarely see any of my "friends" unless i make the effort to travel over to them.
Friends,an interesting term that can cover so many different people.I recon i have literally a handful of REAL friends.
In real life and on here there are so many people who want to be your best bud when its all going your way,but the minute things arent theyre nowhere to be seen.
I also know quite a few people both on here and In real life who want your friendship and advice when things are shite for them but bugger off as soon as they are ok.
There are the exceptions and i have found some very valuable friends on here,but yet again a handful.
It really does piss me off to be honest,but hey thats just a good job that the person i call my very best friend is my husband and i wouldnt want it any other is the only person who completely 100% understands me (poor sod!!)And gives a shit when things are great and when things are shit./No one else i know has been around through all those things (family not included)
how could they ignore those legs 
better? 
