Steve (concerned for the boss's sanity)
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Farts: why are they so funny?!
I have to admit that farting in our house is rather common place..... Steve being the culprit here not me!!.... I'm a lady 
But you are right Mark, kids find farting hilarious especially mine (9 & 6) who have taken to making sure that they are sitting on either a wooden chair or the floor/stairs to ensure that they get a better quality of sound......
:lol: :lol:
I agree though Heather, it's much better to be the farter rather than the fartee.... Dont you find that your own smells are easier to cope with than other peoples???.....
:wink:
But you are right Mark, kids find farting hilarious especially mine (9 & 6) who have taken to making sure that they are sitting on either a wooden chair or the floor/stairs to ensure that they get a better quality of sound......
:lol: :lol: I agree though Heather, it's much better to be the farter rather than the fartee.... Dont you find that your own smells are easier to cope with than other peoples???.....
:wink:
Sex God
Well mark, you know you've reached that SPECIAL stage in any relationship when you finally feel free to fart in bed with 'em! next stage is when THEY feel free to fart too! and as for shoving heads under quilts........................
neil
neil
OMG - don't mention farts... VERY touchy subject! :shock:
A certain absent someone used to say I 'squeaked' - so we fucked until I squeaked... and that was after the fruit salad and the fruit juice and the eating passionfruit off each other bodies. Happy days :cry:
NOT funny, except at the time. :lol: :lol:
A certain absent someone used to say I 'squeaked' - so we fucked until I squeaked... and that was after the fruit salad and the fruit juice and the eating passionfruit off each other bodies. Happy days :cry:
NOT funny, except at the time.
:lol: :lol: The unexpected ones are the funniest
Me and my mate, many years ago, decided to join a gym. We walked in there, quite uncomfortable cos it was full of fit people :shock: :shock: :shock: taking it all very seriously and posing in the mirrors ...... so, about 5 mins into our new regime my mate decided to do some sit ups. To look a bit fitter she put the bench at an angle ..... first sit up was accompanied by the loudest fart I have ever heard :shock: ...... now you gotta get the setting here. The place was before the days when music was playing as you exercise and it was also in a very old hollow brick building! This fart positively boomed! It ricocheted off every piece of equipment there!
She was laying back down by this point, when she sat back up her face was the look of absolute horror! .... well that just finished me off. I was in convulsions trying not to laugh too loudly :lol2: failing miserably. Looking around at the people trying to ignore this event was priceless.
So mate dragged me out and upstairs for a well earned cider, and to discuss plans for a new hobby!
Me and my mate, many years ago, decided to join a gym. We walked in there, quite uncomfortable cos it was full of fit people :shock: :shock: :shock: taking it all very seriously and posing in the mirrors ...... so, about 5 mins into our new regime my mate decided to do some sit ups. To look a bit fitter she put the bench at an angle ..... first sit up was accompanied by the loudest fart I have ever heard :shock: ...... now you gotta get the setting here. The place was before the days when music was playing as you exercise and it was also in a very old hollow brick building! This fart positively boomed! It ricocheted off every piece of equipment there!
She was laying back down by this point, when she sat back up her face was the look of absolute horror! .... well that just finished me off. I was in convulsions trying not to laugh too loudly :lol2: failing miserably. Looking around at the people trying to ignore this event was priceless.
So mate dragged me out and upstairs for a well earned cider, and to discuss plans for a new hobby!
Sex God
MisChief! 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
erm.......kinda been there, done that!!!! i took up climbing instead! still rockets tho even at 80 feet!
neil x x x x
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:erm.......kinda been there, done that!!!! i took up climbing instead! still rockets tho even at 80 feet!
neil x x x x
Sex God
Ooooooohhhhhh rocky thats 'orrible. my dog gets well distressed by his own flatuence! as do we!!!! lolol RSPCA for you my lad!
neil x x x x
neil x x x x
While we're on the subject.................
1) Ladies dont FART, we TOOT, lol!!
2) It's better out than in, so i say GO AHEAD and let rip in the privacy of your own home and your own company, anywhere and in front of anyone else is DEFINITLY out!!
3) For all the girls out there, how do you deal with a queef?
4)
1) Ladies dont FART, we TOOT, lol!!
2) It's better out than in, so i say GO AHEAD and let rip in the privacy of your own home and your own company, anywhere and in front of anyone else is DEFINITLY out!!
3) For all the girls out there, how do you deal with a queef?
4)
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: .......too funny, can't stop laughing, much to the annoyance of Fred who is busy working.
Was that Sarge I could see in the Bin Laden one? If so, nice arse Sarge!!
Love
Wilma
x x x x
Mark - you definitely need to get out more!
Quote by KitKat
Hiya Mark,
Welcome to the forum, Top Notch first post there!
Farts: Remember the first time you saw the word in the dictionary?? Is there anyone for whom this was not their first 'naughty' dictionary word?
lhk
Kat
Kat I don't even have to look it up again (but I will). I remember it saying - an explosion between the knees.
Looked it up and it says - an escape of wind from the anus!!
I prefer the explosion one!!! I'm off to look up penis, fanny and bum now to see if my memory really is fading.
Love
Wilma
x x x x
Quote by rocky horror
It is even funnier when you feed the dog lager/beer and chilli concarne, and watch it run like hell when it farts because it wonders where the sound comes from!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: I remember our dog doing that.........
Oooowwwww my sides hurt from laughing now
Wipes the tears from her eyes
8-)Apropo of things here... I was listening to a new CD in the car on the way home and there was a track called' Short Fat Fannie' - can't recall the singer cos it's downstairs in the car but it was meant to be a paradoy of 'Long Tall Sally' - it's the funniest thing I've heard for many year - but only cos 'fannie' means something different in UK to USA!!!
:lol:
:lol: 
Master of Sex
my dogs the best.. she farts, sniffs it and if it stinks, she moves away.
ive banned my husband from farting in the same room as me. they make me feel sick.
at night to get his own back for me making him get up, he sits on the toilet, the noise echos around the pan. it wakes me up and makes me jump. i can hear him laughing.
or he will walk up our long hallway to see how far he can get before running out of wind. hes gross and sometimes wakes our son up doing this.
ive heard them called some funny things...
botty hickups
trumps
botty burps
pump
guff
float an air biscuit
brussel sprouter
wet fart
fluff........thats what we used, when i was younger.
blow off
parp in the pants
a beefy eggo
a poot
eerrrmmmm, cant think of any more.
ive banned my husband from farting in the same room as me. they make me feel sick.
at night to get his own back for me making him get up, he sits on the toilet, the noise echos around the pan. it wakes me up and makes me jump. i can hear him laughing.
or he will walk up our long hallway to see how far he can get before running out of wind. hes gross and sometimes wakes our son up doing this.
ive heard them called some funny things...
botty hickups
trumps
botty burps
pump
guff
float an air biscuit
brussel sprouter
wet fart
fluff........thats what we used, when i was younger.
blow off
parp in the pants
a beefy eggo
a poot
eerrrmmmm, cant think of any more.
Sex God
at night to get his own back for me making him get up, he sits on the toilet, the noise echos around the pan. it wakes me up and makes me jump. i can hear him laughing.
<<<<<<<< holds his hand up.................hilarious ain't it!!!!!
<<<<<< hopes the thread doesn't expand into discussion of peeing on ironing boards...........
neil x x x
Master of Sex
hubby pee'd on my foot once.
Sex God
erm.........willing_but_nervous...........erm......on a second date when i'd gone all out to impress the lady with my various talents.........
stella does that to ya!!!! << waits for back up from all the guys who done it too!!! >>
and as for down staircases, and in wardrobes.......well..........
stella does that to ya!!!! << waits for back up from all the guys who done it too!!! >>
and as for down staircases, and in wardrobes.......well..........
Sex God
Damn!! Shit!! Fuck!!
how do ya remove ya last post???????????
i didn't say I'D done any of that did i???????
ooohhhh christ!!! i did?????/ ffs!!!!
how do ya remove ya last post???????????
i didn't say I'D done any of that did i???????
ooohhhh christ!!! i did?????/ ffs!!!!
