Forgive.. Or forget!! Revenge is sweet maybe or maybe not?

8 Nov 2007

Quote by mdr2000

Trouble is when someone deliberately sets out to cause you harm and then think they got away with it that makes me think they are kind of laughing at me.. And I'm sure others would too, I sit back ignore and try hard to let it go.. then out of the blue something triggers it off and I feel I need some sort of closure on it..

I've just quoted one piece of your post as its the piece most relavent....
Thats exactly how I feel about 1 particular person and have done for a while now and it may be silly,juvanile,immature,call it what you will but I will have the last laugh...
Well I'm sure just like me you will indeed get your chance Mallock..
The trick is to keep reality in check and know your own mind, stick to what you know is true.. Things have a way of sorting themselves out right time place etc I know I feel a whole lot better today just knowing what I now know in fact quite excited lol...
Strange thing though as it turns out I wasn't the only one who wanted to let this person know what a complete and utter twa* he was.. Sort of makes me feel better anyway lol.. Moral support.
Anyway..
As said thanks to all who answered.. Today is a new day and I feel a whole load better.. lol

:lol: :D :lol: smile

:D :lol: :) :D
Mike x
Indeed.....
I never rush into anything.....
Memory of an elephant me ...
I can wait for years.....

8 Nov 2007

Quote by Lost
I can only think of two things that I cant forgive. The first is a boy at school who i suffered mercilessly at the hands of from bullying. I still shudder at the feelings i get when he creeps into my head. And even after 25 years since last seeing him it's far too frequent. What upsets me is. He may not realise how he affected me.
The second is a family matter that I would love to approach the family about, but it would destroy any relationships myself, my kids and wife have with the family outside of our home. So its a case of bite my tongue hard.
Though to forget would be such a bonus in many cases. Generally I have no problems forgiving. I believe that we are all capable of good and bad. The good in people far outways the bad. I don't believe that anyone is truly nasty.

I think that is so sad...
Anyone who knows me knows how much I detest bullies.. in my life i have been in more bother sticking up for the underdog than anything ever.. Bullies are truly cowards, insecure nasty jealous people who do real damage to people over a long long time.. bullies are a curse to so many people.
Unlike you though I do believe some people are just plain nasty, usually because of deep seated failings in there own lives they want to drag others down to their level just to feel as though they are someone or something..
The real trick is to rise above them.. hard yes but to become something worthy and a decent person no matter what beats them hands down.. Leave the scum bags in the gutter I say..
Mike xxx

9 Nov 2007

"What goes around comes around" Surely this only works in films and soaps. In real life the nasties rarely get their comeuppance. Take Hitler for example. Did he get his? I don't think so. Personally I prefer to ensure that anyone who shafts me gets my own form of vengeance wreaked on them. Always best served cold too, the better to anticipate and tweak the finer details.
The down side of this is that I'm not always the happy go lucky person I would prefer to be, but we can only work with what we were given :twisted: I NEVER forget :crazy:

9 Nov 2007

Quote by buckingfabe
"What goes around comes around" Surely this only works in films and soaps. In real life the nasties rarely get their comeuppance. Take Hitler for example. Did he get his? I don't think so. Personally I prefer to ensure that anyone who shafts me gets my own form of vengeance wreaked on them. Always best served cold too, the better to anticipate and tweak the finer details.
The down side of this is that I'm not always the happy go lucky person I would prefer to be, but we can only work with what we were given :twisted: I NEVER forget :crazy:

lol... you sound like me, apart from I really am a happy go lucky type.. I just get all worked up over people who really think they can turn something around on you.. try to make you look like the bad guy and then sit back thinking its forgotten lol.. No No no lol... far far from, not a hope not a sniff lol.. Jealous nasty types can never win over decency anyway.. they just eat themselves in the end..
You can be carefree happy go lucky and seek your revenge too you know :P ... I know I can.
have a great weekend...
Mike xx

10 Nov 2007

Quote by mdr2000
"What goes around comes around" Surely this only works in films and soaps. In real life the nasties rarely get their comeuppance. Take Hitler for example. Did he get his? I don't think so. Personally I prefer to ensure that anyone who shafts me gets my own form of vengeance wreaked on them. Always best served cold too, the better to anticipate and tweak the finer details.
The down side of this is that I'm not always the happy go lucky person I would prefer to be, but we can only work with what we were given :twisted: I NEVER forget :crazy:

lol... you sound like me, apart from I really am a happy go lucky type.. I just get all worked up over people who really think they can turn something around on you.. try to make you look like the bad guy and then sit back thinking its forgotten lol.. No No no lol... far far from, not a hope not a sniff lol.. Jealous nasty types can never win over decency anyway.. they just eat themselves in the end..
You can be carefree happy go lucky and seek your revenge too you know :P ... I know I can.
have a great weekend...
Mike xx
:notes: flippin' heck, better make sure I don't upset you wink

pink x

10 Nov 2007

Can i forgive my 8 year old for nipping a huge bar of galaxy and eating the lot when im in desperate need of a glaxy fix................................hmmmmmm nope not yet i cant confused

10 Nov 2007

Things that bother most people don't really bother me so I don't usually have anything to forgive, say what you want do what you want I'm very happy with where I am in life so it doesn't matter...... biggrin

12 Nov 2007

I don't forgive... but I do forget.
My ex (well I've had a few ex's but she will always be 'the ex') was the type that even if it took till she died she would get even... biding her time... the vengance boiling... etc. ad infinitum.
My take on things is shit happens, screw me over and you dont get a second chance to be my friend.
My life is far to short to worry about something that was done to me... thats it... you're nobody... a distant memory... if I see you I will not acknoledge you...
My life, even living every day with depression, is here and now... what has, is, was, whatever!
people who dont forget and/or dont forgive.... they spend their life missing out on the "now" and invarably screw up the new because of the old.
Jon Xx

12 Nov 2007

So come on, be truthful, has no one ever had the slightest urge to pop a few prawns and crabsticks into the hems of curtains or down the back of sofa's lol

12 Nov 2007

Quote by piercedJon
I don't forgive... but I do forget.
My ex (well I've had a few ex's but she will always be 'the ex') was the type that even if it took till she died she would get even... biding her time... the vengance boiling... etc. ad infinitum.
My take on things is shit happens, screw me over and you dont get a second chance to be my friend.
My life is far to short to worry about something that was done to me... thats it... you're nobody... a distant memory... if I see you I will not acknoledge you...
My life, even living every day with depression, is here and now... what has, is, was, whatever!
people who dont forget and/or dont forgive.... they spend their life missing out on the "now" and invarably screw up the new because of the old.
Jon Xx

Spot on!
Nice to see ya btw. wink

13 Nov 2007

Man can forgive, but only angels forget.

I do not seek revenge, I do seek justice and I do treat those who have a bad reputation with less trust.
There are still thiose I do not trust form school.
I am sure that I have forgotten many who have done wrong, I just do not remember forgetting them.

13 Nov 2007

I can forgive, but I can't forget, no matter how much I try, the memory stays with me.
My personality trait is to trust people and believe they are generally 'nice'. Life experiences have taught me that thats not always the case and there are some real nasties out there. I'm not as naive as I used to be which is a shame as I think it was a 'nice' part of my personality.

13 Nov 2007

Quote by goodporking
I can forgive, but I can't forget, no matter how much I try, the memory stays with me.
My personality trait is to trust people and believe they are generally 'nice'. Life experiences have taught me that thats not always the case and there are some real nasties out there. I'm not as naive as I used to be which is a shame as I think it was a 'nice' part of my personality.

I'll go with that, I feel the same. Good first post. wave

welcome and hiya.

13 Nov 2007

Quote by goodporking
I can forgive, but I can't forget, no matter how much I try, the memory stays with me.
My personality trait is to trust people and believe they are generally 'nice'. Life experiences have taught me that thats not always the case and there are some real nasties out there. I'm not as naive as I used to be which is a shame as I think it was a 'nice' part of my personality.

I can wholeheartedly say I agree with you there.. I too always thought good of people, even when told otherwise I'd rather see for myself.
Trouble is when someone really does set out to try and do you wrong for personal silly gain and try to play games with your good name and nature or take advantage for any reason it really does miff me bad..
I also find petty jealousy a real nark.. I mean Why?
No one can help who or what they are but when someone makes a judgment based on nothing and sets out to discredit and bad mouth its just wrong. Plain wrong! Why not try and get to know a person before you judge them..
As said usually the cause is petty jealousy..
Still... We plod on and make the most eh lol.. Their loss is our gain as they say..
Mike

14 Nov 2007

Good thread Mike :thumbup:
Ok here’s my take for what it’s worth.
I think the common thread here is …………….. Intentionally v unintentionally.
As a guy who lives his life as it comes, no huge grand schemes, no analy retentive goals, I pretty much float through life living it the best I can. I try to look after those I love and / or care about and in general, I try to be a ‘good’ human being. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I have never planned, (outside my working life) to do anyone any harm or injustice. That said, I have upset more than one person, on more than one occasion, I guess my problem is that 9 times out of 10 I call things as I see them, not with the intent of hurting anyone, but just because that’s the person I am, I tend to say what I think <<ffs keep this guy away from the diplomatic corps (lol2) >>
The upside of being this way, is that you also are tolerant of other people’s ‘foot in mouth’ moments as you yourself are constantly trying to extract your own foot rolleyes

I guess I’m saying ‘sticks and stones etc.
So yes, socially I find it very easy to forgive most things because I tend to put them down to lack of thought or social ineptitude, or just that the person concerned really didn’t know that what they were saying / doing was going to upset anyone. dunno

The thing I cannot forgive, or forget is the deliberate pre-planned act of hurting / upsetting / backstabbing someone, especially if its ‘just for the hell of it‘ but even more so when it falls into the category of ‘teaching a lesson‘ . I hate fecking schemers with a vengeance, I hate people with ulterior motives and hidden agenda’s. I hate the backstabbing gossips who’s only motivation is jealousy and greed and as much as I want to, forgiveness just doesn’t come into the equation.
I am a great believer in the saying “life’s too short” and try very hard to regulate my life to follow that doctrine, but there comes a time when you just cannot abide by it.
A superior of mine once wrote in an annual personnel report, and I quote “ This man is loyal, trustworthy and able, thankfully he is an ally for I would shudder at the thought of us facing him as an enemy”
There is a place for revenge and when that place is at hand, I do believe that it is indeed “best served cold” and have been known in the past to wait many years before handing out my particular style of retribution.
So on the whole I think what I’m saying is, live and let live, learn to suffer fools for most of them know not what they do, and therefore cannot be held accountable, but when faced with that slimy part of humanity that plans and schemes and plots and worms and wheedles ………………. Sharpen your whit and sharpen your sword and …………………….. Get the bastards when they are least expecting it and are at their most vulnerable. evil

14 Nov 2007

Pete...
I hear ya.. Well said too!
Your right. Unintentional is fine and very forgivable.. Nasty malicious and unwarrented isn't.
No ones perfect not a soul alive but some really do take the buscuit eh. I always think if someone can do things to me or us what can and will they do to the next so called victim! sometimes people have to be reminded of there nastiness.
Mike

14 Nov 2007

As a general rule I forgive easly and mostly forget. I try not to hold a grudge.
I run a shop and a few years back I caught a man in his 50s who lives in my village stealing videos from my shop. evil

I didn't call the police, but I banned him from my shop, told all the other shop owners in the village and my friends what he had done so they could keep an eye on him. A few weeks later he got caught stealing from the village shop and got banned from there also.
This spring in the pub he came up to me and begged for forgiveness, and saying how sorry he was and how at the time he was in a very bad place, on pescription drugs and just split from his woman,although he said that was no excuse. Now he is happy got a job and life is a lot better.
To cut a long story short I forgave him and he sometimes come in my shop but I do watch him closer than any of my other customers.
To go through life sceaming revenge for a wrong, just seems like reliving the wrong over and over in your mind winding your self up. Don't get stressed be cool cool