Hi all...
Just wondering how others felt about forgive or forget.. Were always taught to forgive as such.. But how many really do I wonder? Ok we may not make a big fuss over being wronged and yes would depend on the degree of the 'wrong' to start with for sure..
What I want to know is do people honestly forgive and forget when wronged?
I don't think I ever forgive.. Its a bad traight I'm told. Julie can.. She forgives and forgets quite easily.. I just don't, I seem to bide my time and seek revenge.. More so when no remorse or apology is ever received, what about you guys..
Just thinking about this today.. saw someone from a while ago who did a nasty deed.. and so ended up sorting it out lol... Feel 100% better for it but also feel slightly silly too for not being able to let it go..
Mike x
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Forgive.. Or forget!! Revenge is sweet maybe or maybe not?
Have to say I find it easy to forgive, but I never forget it. I guess I am always on my guard with that person(s) in the future, 'once bitten twice shy and all that!' :wary:
But then I do think that tomorrow is promised to no one and it is better to put things behind you and forgive.
It doesn't always mean you are weak for forgiving or that someone has walked over you because you have let them off with something. It means you are a far bigger person to put it behind you and to call a truce to it all :giveup:
But then I do think that tomorrow is promised to no one and it is better to put things behind you and forgive.
It doesn't always mean you are weak for forgiving or that someone has walked over you because you have let them off with something. It means you are a far bigger person to put it behind you and to call a truce to it all :giveup:
Quote by kazandkev
Have to say I find it easy to forgive, but I never forget it. I guess I am always on my guard with that person(s) in the future, 'once bitten twice shy and all that!' :wary:
But then I do think that tomorrow is promised to no one and it is better to put things behind you and forgive.
It doesn't always mean you are weak for forgiving or that someone has walked over you because you have let them off with something. It means you are a far bigger person to put it behind you and to call a truce to it all :giveup:
I know your right... In my mind anyway.
Would you honestly feel the same though if that person never said sorry.. or admitted the wrong?
I admit I would find it easier to walk away then.. but something inside eats away if not.. I can't be alone surely?
Ohh hum.. :cry:
Mike xx
Sex God
Mdr, just as Kazandkev said you can forgive but never forget.
However, you also learn to be a lot more tolerant as you get older and realise life is just too short to hold a grudge. I learned at 17 after a very silly argument and falling out with someone who was very close, and very special to me. They died suddenly before I ever had the chance to tell then just how much I loved them. :cry:
However, you also learn to be a lot more tolerant as you get older and realise life is just too short to hold a grudge. I learned at 17 after a very silly argument and falling out with someone who was very close, and very special to me. They died suddenly before I ever had the chance to tell then just how much I loved them. :cry:
Quote by mdr2000
Have to say I find it easy to forgive, but I never forget it. I guess I am always on my guard with that person(s) in the future, 'once bitten twice shy and all that!' :wary:
But then I do think that tomorrow is promised to no one and it is better to put things behind you and forgive.
It doesn't always mean you are weak for forgiving or that someone has walked over you because you have let them off with something. It means you are a far bigger person to put it behind you and to call a truce to it all :giveup:
I know your right... In my mind anyway.
Would you honestly feel the same though if that person never said sorry.. or admitted the wrong?
I admit I would find it easier to walk away then.. but something inside eats away if not.. I can't be alone surely?
Ohh hum.. :cry:
Mike xx
Then if that person hasn't said sorry or admitted they are wrong, perhaps in thier eyes they haven't done anything wrong.
People view things differently to others, what might be wrong in your eyes may not be in someone elses. :shock:
I think if it were me I would have to tell them they had upset me and why, then see if they apologised. If still no apology then I think yes I would find it hard to forgive too.
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Mdr, just as Kazandkev said you can forgive but never forget.
However, you also learn to be a lot more tolerant as you get older and realise life is just too short to hold a grudge. I learned at 17 after a very silly argument and falling out with someone who was very close, and very special to me. They died suddenly before I ever had the chance to tell then just how much I loved them. :cry:
Aww... hun I'm sorry to hear that.
I am more tollerant.. just some things never seem to go away do they.. Things said etc! Silly to some but very very hurtful to others.. I never cause anyone harm.. never! I just hate it when people try to hurt others for No reason..
Mike x
Quote by kazandkev
Have to say I find it easy to forgive, but I never forget it. I guess I am always on my guard with that person(s) in the future, 'once bitten twice shy and all that!' :wary:
But then I do think that tomorrow is promised to no one and it is better to put things behind you and forgive.
It doesn't always mean you are weak for forgiving or that someone has walked over you because you have let them off with something. It means you are a far bigger person to put it behind you and to call a truce to it all :giveup:
I know your right... In my mind anyway.
Would you honestly feel the same though if that person never said sorry.. or admitted the wrong?
I admit I would find it easier to walk away then.. but something inside eats away if not.. I can't be alone surely?
Ohh hum.. :cry:
Mike xx
Then if that person hasn't said sorry or admitted they are wrong, perhaps in thier eyes they haven't done anything wrong.
People view things differently to others, what might be wrong in your eyes may not be in someone elses. :shock:
I think if it were me I would have to tell them they had upset me and why, then see if they apologised. If still no apology then I think yes I would find it hard to forgive too.
Thats my point... thank you !
Quote by Marya_Northeast
Some things can't be forgiven - even if you really want to.
I don't seek revenge anymore. I prefer to believe that what goes around comes around.
I also believe that Moira... Truly I do, sometimes though a personal touch is needed to scratch the itch more though.. Makes me feel bad but better!! Stupid eh..
Mike x
I can forgive (half heartedly at times depending on circumstance) but i find it harder to forget and tend to be one of these who occasionally brings things up from the past because its talk about them or get all upset with myself about it. a few people i will never forgive nor forget things they have done but tolerate them because blood is thicker than water n all that. Time heals some things i dont actively seek revence on people who have hurt me. One person i will never forgive or forget or ever speak to them again but would i see that person hurt, Never :confused2:
Mod
I used to have a motto. "Don't get mad!!! get f**ing even".
But now I have mellowed and try not to follow that motto anymore.
Sometimes its hard tho when ppl treat me bad cos of things they have heard about me from another source and I tend to think those that listen to rumours are not worth having as friends anyway.
I tend to only believe what I hear about a person ,when I hear it from that person, and I get on with making new friends and leave the old ones who treat me bad to their own devices, I don't look for revenge.
Not having me as a friend is revenge enough I think, or is that a bonus?
.
Anyway!! life is too short to plot revenge when it's easier and more fun to make someone happy
But now I have mellowed and try not to follow that motto anymore.
Sometimes its hard tho when ppl treat me bad cos of things they have heard about me from another source and I tend to think those that listen to rumours are not worth having as friends anyway.
I tend to only believe what I hear about a person ,when I hear it from that person, and I get on with making new friends and leave the old ones who treat me bad to their own devices, I don't look for revenge.
Not having me as a friend is revenge enough I think, or is that a bonus?
.Anyway!! life is too short to plot revenge when it's easier and more fun to make someone happy
Quote by woohoo
I used to have a motto. "Don't get mad!!! get f**ing even".
But now I have mellowed and try not to follow that motto anymore.
Sometimes its hard tho when ppl treat me bad cos of things they have heard about me from another source and I tend to think those that listen to rumours are not worth having as friends anyway.
I tend to only believe what I hear about a person ,when I hear it from that person, and I get on with making new friends and leave the old ones who treat me bad to their own devices, I don't look for revenge.
Not having me as a friend is revenge enough I think, or is that a bonus?
Anyway!! life is too short to plot revenge when it's easier and more fun to make someone happy
Whoo...
I think we came from a similar chip off the old block.. Trouble is when someone deliberately sets out to cause you harm and then think they got away with it that makes me think they are kind of laughing at me.. And I'm sure others would too, I sit back ignore and try hard to let it go.. then out of the blue something triggers it off and I feel I need some sort of closure on it.. Hence all this lol.
I have moved on.. I have grown up and have no doubts I am the bigger man.. (Speaking metaphorically of course) Trouble is when nothing is given by way of an apology I think to hell with it.. and want to revert to basics.. Childish? Silly? Or just plain and simple closure???
Ahhh too deep... :cry: :cry:
I hate being serious......
:D 
:D Mike
Thanks to all who have replied...
Made me feel a little better. It's so unlike me to get serious about anything really.. just some things really do and did get to me from the past and without reasons known to me people felt they needed to hurt.. If I do wrong intentionally or otherwise I'd like to think I'm a big enough man to say so and make good where possible.. Sorry is a simple word after all eh.
Anyway...
I'm going back to being me now.. Happy!
Mike xx
Thanks all xxx
Made me feel a little better. It's so unlike me to get serious about anything really.. just some things really do and did get to me from the past and without reasons known to me people felt they needed to hurt.. If I do wrong intentionally or otherwise I'd like to think I'm a big enough man to say so and make good where possible.. Sorry is a simple word after all eh.
Anyway...
I'm going back to being me now.. Happy!
Mike xx
Thanks all xxx
Mod
As Ivana Trump once said mdr2000
"Don't get mad!! Get everything darling" :lol:And who the feck is Whoo
"Don't get mad!! Get everything darling"
:lol:And who the feck is Whoo Mod
WOO!!! ads Mikes name to his ever increasing list of names to get even with, ffs I'l never get them all 
Quote by varca
Thanks to all who have replied...
Made me feel a little better. It's so unlike me to get serious about anything really.. just some things really do and did get to me from the past and without reasons known to me people felt they needed to hurt.. If I do wrong intentionally or otherwise I'd like to think I'm a big enough man to say so and make good where possible.. Sorry is a simple word after all eh.
Anyway...
I'm going back to being me now.. Happy!
Mike xx
Thanks all xxx
Mike, we are all entitled to get justifiably upset by someone who has aggrieved us, don't apologise for feeling that way, we have all been there and will be again I am sure (even me despite my mellowed nature :lol: You felt comfortable being able to vent how you feel/felt amongst your ether friends here and that's a good thing
We like the serious Mike as well as the funny one you know you daft nana cos it's you 
Aww... Thank you
One day I may well spill the beans... but not yet, not here anyway..
Its something thats bothered me for ages and yes I will settle it and settle it well... I grew up in a time when honour meant something to men... and still does to me! Just a silly thing that eats away now and then...
Thanks Varca.. and all!
Mike xxxx
Mod
Quote by mdr2000
..] I grew up in a time when honour meant something to men... and still does to me! Just a silly thing that eats away now and then...
Mike xxxx
Finding myself whistling the tune to the magnificent seven here
:lol: Quote by woohoo
..] I grew up in a time when honour meant something to men... and still does to me! Just a silly thing that eats away now and then...
Mike xxxx
Finding myself whistling the tune to the magnificent seven here
:lol:Well.... Bad night, bad memories and a really bad film lol... About sums it up eh!
I recon without a doubt... you would do the same! Call it a hunch lol.... :lol:
Mike
Sex God
Quote by mdr2000
Trouble is when someone deliberately sets out to cause you harm and then think they got away with it that makes me think they are kind of laughing at me.. And I'm sure others would too, I sit back ignore and try hard to let it go.. then out of the blue something triggers it off and I feel I need some sort of closure on it..
I've just quoted one piece of your post as its the piece most relavent....
Thats exactly how I feel about 1 particular person and have done for a while now and it may be silly,juvanile,immature,call it what you will but I will have the last laugh...
I think a lot of the bad feelings come from oneself, in allowing events to escalate. That creates a further layer to remove, and often stands in the way more than the other person's deeds.
So perhaps mellowing means being more adept at avoiding dealing with people who are likley to crap on your life.
The arabs have a saying, 'never let a camel get its head in the tent'
So perhaps mellowing means being more adept at avoiding dealing with people who are likley to crap on your life.
The arabs have a saying, 'never let a camel get its head in the tent'
Depending on what's been done I can forgive but not forget.
How can you forget?
Ive recently come to the conclusion that life is too short to hold grudges and the only person that hurts is yourself.
I will forgive someone only once though. If they do it again, I will just have nothing to do with them anymore.
louise xx
How can you forget?
Ive recently come to the conclusion that life is too short to hold grudges and the only person that hurts is yourself.
I will forgive someone only once though. If they do it again, I will just have nothing to do with them anymore.
louise xx
Quote by Mallock2006
Trouble is when someone deliberately sets out to cause you harm and then think they got away with it that makes me think they are kind of laughing at me.. And I'm sure others would too, I sit back ignore and try hard to let it go.. then out of the blue something triggers it off and I feel I need some sort of closure on it..
I've just quoted one piece of your post as its the piece most relavent....
Thats exactly how I feel about 1 particular person and have done for a while now and it may be silly,juvanile,immature,call it what you will but I will have the last laugh...
Well I'm sure just like me you will indeed get your chance Mallock..
The trick is to keep reality in check and know your own mind, stick to what you know is true.. Things have a way of sorting themselves out right time place etc I know I feel a whole lot better today just knowing what I now know in fact quite excited lol...
Strange thing though as it turns out I wasn't the only one who wanted to let this person know what a complete and utter twa* he was.. Sort of makes me feel better anyway lol.. Moral support.
Anyway..
As said thanks to all who answered.. Today is a new day and I feel a whole load better..
:lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :) :D Mike x
Sex God
Hmm Mikey
Totally agree it depends on the person's actions that caused the hurt in the first place and the remorse/explanation shown. It also needs to be looked upon amongst the bigger picture, for example nicking someone's partner with no thought to other's feelings is rather a different story to say lying about something less significant. Good kind people do act strangely and hurtfully sometimes depending on their circumstances, we all make mistakes. However...
I also think that often (well in my experience certainly) people's hurtful actions are based on a reason (not always sensible) and often to do with THEIR own insecurity. In which case I put it down to experience, raise my head up high and feel quite sad for them.
pink x
p.s. may forgive, but never forget
Totally agree it depends on the person's actions that caused the hurt in the first place and the remorse/explanation shown. It also needs to be looked upon amongst the bigger picture, for example nicking someone's partner with no thought to other's feelings is rather a different story to say lying about something less significant. Good kind people do act strangely and hurtfully sometimes depending on their circumstances, we all make mistakes. However...
I also think that often (well in my experience certainly) people's hurtful actions are based on a reason (not always sensible) and often to do with THEIR own insecurity. In which case I put it down to experience, raise my head up high and feel quite sad for them.
pink x
p.s. may forgive, but never forget
Sex God
I forgave my 'ex' a long time ago but there was something itching away inside to get a little bit of revenge. Nothing horrible, just something a little naughty and nice Well the opportunity arose and so did something else I led him right up to the headboard and then said " you want me dont you?" or words to that effect. He wanted me alright, trouble was, I no longer wanted him!
He did see the funny side but what was more important to me, he saw the error of his wayward ways and the hurt and pain he had caused me. We are still the best of friends but more in a brother/sister sort of way now.
Well the opportunity arose and so did something else I led him right up to the headboard and then said " you want me dont you?" or words to that effect. He wanted me alright, trouble was, I no longer wanted him!He did see the funny side but what was more important to me, he saw the error of his wayward ways and the hurt and pain he had caused me. We are still the best of friends but more in a brother/sister sort of way now.
Sex God
I can only think of two things that I cant forgive. The first is a boy at school who i suffered mercilessly at the hands of from bullying. I still shudder at the feelings i get when he creeps into my head. And even after 25 years since last seeing him it's far too frequent. What upsets me is. He may not realise how he affected me.
The second is a family matter that I would love to approach the family about, but it would destroy any relationships myself, my kids and wife have with the family outside of our home. So its a case of bite my tongue hard.
Though to forget would be such a bonus in many cases. Generally I have no problems forgiving. I believe that we are all capable of good and bad. The good in people far outways the bad. I don't believe that anyone is truly nasty.
The second is a family matter that I would love to approach the family about, but it would destroy any relationships myself, my kids and wife have with the family outside of our home. So its a case of bite my tongue hard.
Though to forget would be such a bonus in many cases. Generally I have no problems forgiving. I believe that we are all capable of good and bad. The good in people far outways the bad. I don't believe that anyone is truly nasty.
