Frustration in meeting

8 Nov 2007

we have been trying to get together with a couple who also want to get together with us. We have done the chat, mail, msn stuff. Even been and met socially drinkies

and agreed that we want to go the works hump

Unfortunately the stuff that has got in the way of us meeting to swing has been :shock: four dates have been set and four times 'stuff' got in the way mad

. Sods law I guess. Maybe we should just call it quits and say its not to be sad

Although we are all still keen :thumbup:.
In some instances the pre-swing stuff has gone on for too long :sleeping: and the wanting to swing goes off the boil. And though we still really get on with people the sex side just aint gonna happen. Does anyone else get this?

8 Nov 2007

Yes sometimes that happens. It always difficult trying to figure out who's worth persuing or not though.
Sometimes trying to arrange the actual swing bit can take time, but you can tell that the people are genuine it's just that other issues can get in the way, either family or wrok committments. With other people however you sometimes get the feeling that it really won't happen, and they're jusy enjoying the whole preamble.
Whenever this happens with me I often take it as far as I can, then just leave it. If after a period without any contact they contact you back then they're probably genuine and still interested, so it might be worth going on with it.
Ultimately you'll just have to suss out the people involved, whether the reasons for not be able to go any further add up, and your gut feelings about where it's going. Or not.
confused

8 Nov 2007

Quote by Lost

In some instances the pre-swing stuff has gone on for too long :sleeping: and the wanting to swing goes off the boil. And though we still really get on with people the sex side just aint gonna happen. Does anyone else get this?

I wouldn't have thought this would've made any difference, the build up and anticipation would still be there, more so.
Could it be tho that perhaps in your subconsious you've decided that you just want to remain friends with this couple? It's perfectly OK to want to do this but it's fairer on the couple if you don't keep arranging "playing" meets and just tell them you want to meet socially instead... then perhaps see what happens in the future?
Just my thoughts anyway wink

8 Nov 2007

Quote by jaymar

In some instances the pre-swing stuff has gone on for too long :sleeping: and the wanting to swing goes off the boil. And though we still really get on with people the sex side just aint gonna happen. Does anyone else get this?

I wouldn't have thought this would've made any difference, the build up and anticipation would still be there, more so.
Could it be tho that perhaps in your subconsious you've decided that you just want to remain friends with this couple? It's perfectly OK to want to do this but it's fairer on the couple if you don't keep arranging "playing" meets and just tell them you want to meet socially instead... then perhaps see what happens in the future?
Just my thoughts anyway wink

:thumbup:
Good point! I think it's what I was hinting at too.

8 Nov 2007

Quote by bbw_lover

In some instances the pre-swing stuff has gone on for too long :sleeping: and the wanting to swing goes off the boil. And though we still really get on with people the sex side just aint gonna happen. Does anyone else get this?

I wouldn't have thought this would've made any difference, the build up and anticipation would still be there, more so.
Could it be tho that perhaps in your subconsious you've decided that you just want to remain friends with this couple? It's perfectly OK to want to do this but it's fairer on the couple if you don't keep arranging "playing" meets and just tell them you want to meet socially instead... then perhaps see what happens in the future?
Just my thoughts anyway wink

:thumbup:
Good point! I think it's what I was hinting at too.
aaw thanks passionkiss

8 Nov 2007

Quote by jaymar

In some instances the pre-swing stuff has gone on for too long :sleeping: and the wanting to swing goes off the boil. And though we still really get on with people the sex side just aint gonna happen. Does anyone else get this?

I wouldn't have thought this would've made any difference, the build up and anticipation would still be there, more so.
Could it be tho that perhaps in your subconsious you've decided that you just want to remain friends with this couple? It's perfectly OK to want to do this but it's fairer on the couple if you don't keep arranging "playing" meets and just tell them you want to meet socially instead... then perhaps see what happens in the future?
Just my thoughts anyway wink

:thumbup:
Good point! I think it's what I was hinting at too.
aaw thanks passionkiss

No problem. My pleasure hunnie kiss

ops: :oops:

8 Nov 2007

I think thats why i don't like to plan things to far in the future, the longer ahead you plan things the more time its gives things to go wrong lol i as a rule just go in the chat room when i have a free night and see who's about, works much better for me than saying...ahhhh yeah i'm free next friday fancy a meet lol
I have had it before tho when i've arranged to meet a guy and i had to call it off so we made another date then he had to call it off i just got bored with him after that lol

8 Nov 2007

We've been here 4 years and havent managed to get it together with a couple sad

8 Nov 2007

Finding that mutually ok time can be tricky.I'm fine on my side if it takes a while to fix up, I have the attitude that it's worth the wait.
I'd hope life is enhanced and enriched by it happening for all parties but life doesn't depend on it, if it doesn't come to be it's not the end of the world, not the end of the swinging world even lol!

8 Nov 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
We've been here 4 years and havent managed to get it together with a couple

being a couple finding a couple isnt as easy as it sounds, you have 4 people who all have to get on and thats not always easy, we have met many couples for a drink etc but have gone past that with very few of them.

8 Nov 2007

I'm more of a planner but when it comes to playing with either a couple or a guy I tend to do it off the cuff...so I meet a guy/couple at a Club or a Munch/Social and then decide to play...
Don't worry if you haven't played yet...perhaps you're not quite ready for it...or it just hasn't been the right time...If you both want it, it'll happen for you when its right.

8 Nov 2007

Quote by naughtynymphos1
We've been here 4 years and havent managed to get it together with a couple

being a couple finding a couple isnt as easy as it sounds, you have 4 people who all have to get on and thats not always easy, we have met many couples for a drink etc but have gone past that with very few of them.
Thats the main problem....

8 Nov 2007

Quote by niceandgentle
Finding that mutually ok time can be tricky.I'm fine on my side if it takes a while to fix up, I have the attitude that it's worth the wait.
I'd hope life is enhanced and enriched by it happening for all parties but life doesn't depend on it, if it doesn't come to be it's not the end of the world, not the end of the swinging world even lol!

A very sober approach I think, especially if all parties are genuinely interested. Maybe sometimes we expect too much and need to be more patient?
biggrin

:D :D

8 Nov 2007

Quote by Mallock2006
We've been here 4 years and havent managed to get it together with a couple

being a couple finding a couple isnt as easy as it sounds, you have 4 people who all have to get on and thats not always easy, we have met many couples for a drink etc but have gone past that with very few of them.
Thats the main problem....
be nicer then, people may like you more :lol2:

8 Nov 2007

Quote by naughtynymphos1
We've been here 4 years and havent managed to get it together with a couple

being a couple finding a couple isnt as easy as it sounds, you have 4 people who all have to get on and thats not always easy, we have met many couples for a drink etc but have gone past that with very few of them.
We have met loads of couples for drinks, and nothing ahas come of it. But at least we have made some nice friends too even if it hasn't lead onto anything else biggrin

8 Nov 2007

Quote by naughtynymphos1
We've been here 4 years and havent managed to get it together with a couple

being a couple finding a couple isnt as easy as it sounds, you have 4 people who all have to get on and thats not always easy, we have met many couples for a drink etc but have gone past that with very few of them.
Thats the main problem....
be nicer then, people may like you more :lol2:
Its when I tell them we live close to you...
They run a mile dunno

;-)

8 Nov 2007

I find you have to strike while the irons hot, so to speak.
Last week I made contact with a woamn on Wednesday and on Saturday we were having sex. On the other hand I made contact with another woman in January and despite both agreeing we wanted to, still not met. In the mean time we've actually become quite good friends and now I feel that when we do meet it will be as friends and the sex side could well go out the window.

8 Nov 2007

Quote by Chief_Kaiser
I find you have to strike while the irons hot, so to speak.
Last week I made contact with a woamn on Wednesday and on Saturday we were having sex. On the other hand I made contact with another woman in January and despite both agreeing we wanted to, still not met. In the mean time we've actually become quite good friends and now I feel that when we do meet it will be as friends and the sex side could well go out the window.

Not necessarily, but either way it's a win:win
You've now got a new friend, and that's good in it's own right.
biggrin

:D :D

8 Nov 2007

family life will always get in the way sometimes kids get ill babysitters dont show family arrive unannnounced (n u cant say where u are going)one of you getting ill etc etc so its not just getting the meets organised its keeping to it without any problems :shock: how any of us get any meets sometimes is beyond me

8 Nov 2007

Quote by dekntan
family life will always get in the way sometimes kids get ill babysitters dont show family arrive unannnounced (n u cant say where u are going)one of you getting ill etc etc so its not just getting the meets organised its keeping to it without any problems :shock: how any of us get any meets sometimes is beyond me

yup we've found that too - plus being on shift work is a real pain in the ass. We look at this this way, if the person or couple understand the problem, then they could just be the right type for us.
Still, we'll keep trying as we believe one day we'll click with someone close to us.

8 Nov 2007

Quote by A+D
family life will always get in the way sometimes kids get ill babysitters dont show family arrive unannnounced (n u cant say where u are going)one of you getting ill etc etc so its not just getting the meets organised its keeping to it without any problems :shock: how any of us get any meets sometimes is beyond me

yup we've found that too - plus being on shift work is a real pain in the ass. We look at this this way, if the person or couple understand the problem, then they could just be the right type for us.
Still, we'll keep trying as we believe one day we'll click with someone close to us.
yup unfortunately this sometimes gets passed as timewasting but it is just life shit happens so to speak

8 Nov 2007

Quote by A+D
yup we've found that too - plus being on shift work is a real pain in the ass. We look at this this way, if the person or couple understand the problem, then they could just be the right type for us.
Still, we'll keep trying as we believe one day we'll click with someone close to us.

I totally agree with this and it's a yardstick I frequently use.
After all we're all adults and all have responsibilities of one sort or another, so can't just do things at the drop of a hat, like we did when we were teenagers.
:cry: :cry: :cry:

8 Nov 2007

Quote by dekntan
family life will always get in the way sometimes kids get ill babysitters dont show family arrive unannnounced (n u cant say where u are going)one of you getting ill etc etc so its not just getting the meets organised its keeping to it without any problems :shock: how any of us get any meets sometimes is beyond me

yup we've found that too - plus being on shift work is a real pain in the ass. We look at this this way, if the person or couple understand the problem, then they could just be the right type for us.
Still, we'll keep trying as we believe one day we'll click with someone close to us.
yup unfortunately this sometimes gets passed as timewasting but it is just life shit happens so to speak
:thumbup:
Too true!

8 Nov 2007

Personally, Im not one to rush things. I believe some things are just worth waiting for wink

Pace of life today means some things cant always be done at the drop of a hat and if some think thats time wasting then its their loss.
My old Gran always used to say 'Patience is a virtue'
and being the virtuous girl I am lol

I happen to think she was right!

8 Nov 2007

Crikey Lost you wanna live mine and Dave's lives its almost impossible for us to meet other couples, we have been talking to a couple on and off since April and only hooked up with them once, thats why we tend to do the club thing......
As you aware I made plans for this Friday and thanks to HM government he won't even be in the same country as the rest of us........
Some people find that very hard to handle so don't really even bother to persue us..but I try to be as honest as possible right from the start....xxxxx

8 Nov 2007

Quote by helnheaven
Personally, Im not one to rush things. I believe some things are just worth waiting for
Pace of life today means some things cant always be done at the drop of a hat and if some think thats time wasting then its their loss.
My old Gran always used to say 'Patience is a virtue'
and being the virtuous girl I am I happen to think she was right!

Couldn't agree more.
Sometimes the waiting makes it even better :wink:

8 Nov 2007

Quote by Samndave
As you aware I made plans for this Friday and thanks to HM government he won't even be in the same country as the rest of us........
Some people find that very hard to handle so don't really even bother to persue us..but I try to be as honest as possible right from the start....xxxxx

Yes we come up against the same problem we sometimes have only a day or so notice and if someone chatts to me when he is away they lose interest as soon as they no it will be a few weeks until the meet

8 Nov 2007

Just one of those things I suppose.
I get let down by couples sometimes, just put it down to experience.

8 Nov 2007

Well like most couples we have an entourage of randy single blokes who persue us relentlessly. Not really but it seems that way.
Anyway a free evening comes up...we invite them all ...even offer food and drink..desperate, so offer nookie too.
Not one taker, all have ingenious excuses which seem to hold water.
Well they were lucky, actually we are cannibals and they would never have seen their loved ones again ha ha. We only choose the plump ones you see.
There is a lot to be said for clubs, at least every one has made the effort to be there in person rather than in cyberspace.

8 Nov 2007

Reading this one with interest...
I honestly beieve you get out of this lifestyle what you put in as such..
We can honestly say with hand on hearts we have met some fantastic genuine and very sexy people.. Yes we had to meet alot and yes only really hit it off with a few of but when it works out it really does lol..
Don't give in.. people who suit are out there, its just finding them.. Problems happen, just as it does with normal stuff.. We believe if things are meant to happen they will if not it just won't.. Be patient, if you all want it bad enough it will work itself out eh..
We were lucky it seems..
Mike x