Well, Bell and Mrs Bell have started the weekend with a BANG
Lets hope a few more of us get to follow their example.
Have a good one!
lhk
Kat
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GFZ - Mr FC gives his missus one and has another for himself
Sex God
Oh, don't you worry, I'll try :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Mod
Well
Last night worked for me, despite the cold!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Last night worked for me, despite the cold!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Wilma enters GFZ ...... ....turns on light ......... YIKES!!!
"Right lads, for this weekend and this weekend ONLY, I am going to be nice!!! "
Wilma dons her sexy pinny and rubber gloves and gets to work.........
Now, that's better!!
Pours wine and rolls on Sofa......
Pins notice on door on way out....THIS IS A NON SMOKING GFZ, PLEASE SUPPORT OUR MEMBERS!!
Sprinkles Fairy Freshness and leaves.....Have Fun!!!
"Right lads, for this weekend and this weekend ONLY, I am going to be nice!!! "
Wilma dons her sexy pinny and rubber gloves and gets to work.........
Now, that's better!!
Pours wine and rolls on Sofa......
Pins notice on door on way out....THIS IS A NON SMOKING GFZ, PLEASE SUPPORT OUR MEMBERS!!
Sprinkles Fairy Freshness and leaves.....Have Fun!!!
Sex God
Wilmaaaaaaa! How can we have fun if you've LEFT?
Sex God
Great emoticons Wilma 
, trouble is it's too clean in here now, and I'm going to have to find somewhere else to smoke my cigar 
, trouble is it's too clean in here now, and I'm going to have to find somewhere else to smoke my cigar Because we are having fun ourselves! 
:wink: 
ops: :wink:
Sorry guys - I did check with Sarge and he said I can have a weekend pass! 8) 8)
Don't forget to keep an eye on the smokers thread you lot and support them if they need it with lots of helpful PM's - I know BlueEyes is on her second day - and despite smoking only 3 fags a day before, she reckons she has saved £30 already and therefore was going to treat herself to a new outfit today! Complement her when she shows and my money is on the fact she will have had her hair done as well! - Guys, complement her on it BEFORE you send her for a beer otherwise she will sulk all weekend!
Have fun - I know we will be! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Fred
:wink: ops: :wink: Sorry guys - I did check with Sarge and he said I can have a weekend pass! 8) 8)
Don't forget to keep an eye on the smokers thread you lot and support them if they need it with lots of helpful PM's - I know BlueEyes is on her second day - and despite smoking only 3 fags a day before, she reckons she has saved £30 already and therefore was going to treat herself to a new outfit today! Complement her when she shows and my money is on the fact she will have had her hair done as well! - Guys, complement her on it BEFORE you send her for a beer otherwise she will sulk all weekend!
Have fun - I know we will be! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Fred
Well what a sad state of affairs this is. Once again I come in from work and find I'm sat in here with just the Pizza and the carroty mess (Which has now grown fur and is twitching a bit) for company. :cry:
Someone has come in and cleaned the place up so I can't find anything now. Jags has buggered off out for the night and taken the remote control and Gmans Solitaire game has disappeared from the table.
Will hasn't been in to fill the fridge and Artificer must be out somewhere walking the ferrets .Why does he only take those ferrets out at night? Even Carpy hasn’t been in with his secret notebook. :small-print:
This is grim. I may have to phone Gman to see if he fancies a beer. :shock: On second thoughts, Pizza, come over here and tell me all about your day…………………………….
Someone has come in and cleaned the place up so I can't find anything now. Jags has buggered off out for the night and taken the remote control and Gmans Solitaire game has disappeared from the table.
Will hasn't been in to fill the fridge and Artificer must be out somewhere walking the ferrets .Why does he only take those ferrets out at night? Even Carpy hasn’t been in with his secret notebook. :small-print:
This is grim. I may have to phone Gman to see if he fancies a beer. :shock: On second thoughts, Pizza, come over here and tell me all about your day…………………………….
Sex God
Eww! Jags! Don't you know that lavender is a deadly poison?
6:32am is what I call a great night out!
6:32am is what I call a great night out!
Sex God
Good grief Jags - 6:32 am on a Saturday? :shock:
....and here was I feeling smug because I am all showered, dressed and already put the first load of washing on by 9:00. Oh well.
Sorry about forgetting to stock the fridge sarge - I have put some Becks,.Stella and those WKD things in the fridge. I have also popped in some Aussie Semillon Chardonnay and NZ Sauvignon Blanc (a particular recommendation of mine and I would be interested to know what people think) in case any of the girlies drop by. Bombay Sapphire and Indian tonic are always there as standard.
As usual, there is a case or two of red wine in the corner - but try to leave some of that for me. It looks as though I shall be here on my own tonight as the plague has hit Shropshire and Sappho is in Quarantine.
Get well soon, darling 
:therethere: Unless things improve (I live in hope) all visits are off. Might as well go into the office tomorrow then :cry:
See you all later - I hope.
....and here was I feeling smug because I am all showered, dressed and already put the first load of washing on by 9:00. Oh well.
Sorry about forgetting to stock the fridge sarge - I have put some Becks,.Stella and those WKD things in the fridge. I have also popped in some Aussie Semillon Chardonnay and NZ Sauvignon Blanc (a particular recommendation of mine and I would be interested to know what people think) in case any of the girlies drop by. Bombay Sapphire and Indian tonic are always there as standard.
As usual, there is a case or two of red wine in the corner - but try to leave some of that for me. It looks as though I shall be here on my own tonight as the plague has hit Shropshire and Sappho is in Quarantine.
Get well soon, darling :therethere: Unless things improve (I live in hope) all visits are off. Might as well go into the office tomorrow then :cry: See you all later - I hope.
nice lavender scent, awww bless and the pizza is so friendly. Down boy I'm going to have an explore.
Quote by ManAlivewanders in and v. impressed with the place, smells great. Saunters over to ManAlive, slowly bends down in front of him, clevage heaving with the anticipation of it all, reaches to him ....... and dangles 2 air freshener trees off his ears :lol2: ..... legs it
So lemmiegetthisstraight - Wilma sprays fairy freshness and exits pronto and Jags pumps industrial strength lavender scent into the room and darts off -
- are you gals trying to tell us all somethin' about guys in large gatherings? :upset:
:lol: :lol:Wow!!! look at this room and it smells...... well it smells!
Sorry male half of funcouple here managed to lose her for a while and well juat popped in to see what the fuss was about!
Wow!! wall to wall alcahol, what time do the drinks start getting served :cheers: No I can't tell her about this :gagged: Could be on to a good thing here, :sticky: Yuk what's that I just stood in?
Sorry male half of funcouple here managed to lose her for a while and well juat popped in to see what the fuss was about!
Wow!! wall to wall alcahol, what time do the drinks start getting served :cheers: No I can't tell her about this :gagged: Could be on to a good thing here, :sticky: Yuk what's that I just stood in?
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Well what a sad state of affairs this is. Once again I come in from work and find I'm sat in here with just the Pizza and the carroty mess (Which has now grown fur and is twitching a bit) for company. :cry:
Someone has come in and cleaned the place up so I can't find anything now. Jags has buggered off out for the night and taken the remote control and Gmans Solitaire game has disappeared from the table.
Will hasn't been in to fill the fridge and Artificer must be out somewhere walking the ferrets .Why does he only take those ferrets out at night? Even Carpy hasn’t been in with his secret notebook. :small-print:
This is grim. I may have to phone Gman to see if he fancies a beer. :shock: On second thoughts, Pizza, come over here and tell me all about your day…………………………….
Sarge, you've rumbled me: I only take my ferrets out at night. You see, I wanted to try this Dogging malarkey, for research reasons of course. However, being a bit worried about the bobbies prowling round here on their unmarked bicycles, I thought I'd have an excuse ready. So rather than say 'dogging', which even our Sherriff's men know about, I can say 'ferreting'. Cunning or what! So I can sneak up on the young swains and their comely wenches, parked up in their Land Rovers, and if they object, I can make a noise like Eddie Grundy, pull old Fred out of me pocket, and ask the lad if he's come across any worthwhile holes. Strangely enough, first bloke I tried it on kicked me in the slats. Maybe I need to rethink?
Anyway, no luck-or rather no look-last night. Made the mistake of taking old Fly with me: he kept howling at the rabbits and trying to shag 'em between hops. You know, I don't know what gets into that old dog...mind you, if I knew what he gets into him, I think I'd have a meal of it meself. Went to one car park where the old mutt got hell bent on serving a rubbish bin. He managed it in the end: came back to find him sitting smurking with an old dog-end in his chops. Strange dog that. I don't think he's got over being called a pizza in the GFZ, and having Misschief rip her top off in front of him. Before that, the only tits he'd ever seen had a lamb hanging on the end of 'em.
But, he's a good old companion. In fact, I'm getting so lonely when I visit the GFZ that he's the only living thing to talk to-apart from the pizza of course. Called in last night: by the hair on me sister's lip, it stunk!! I had to get Fly to roll around, dribble a bit and practise his incontinence, just to neutralise the horrible stink. Last time I came across such a pong was when Ethel, the barmaid at the Bull and Dog, started selling Avon to pay for her ...ahem..'little procedure'. Old Jiggy Danby, bit the worst for beer, asked her for a look at her' threshing box one night, and she lamped him with her sample bag. What a stink....she hasn't been in the GFZ has she...or is it he now?
Anyway, happy days. Sarge... be in later..get me a pint of Merlot-straight glass.
Artificer
Damn, I missed Artificer. I know he's been here because I can smell Fly!!!
Hello MHOFC
Welcome to te GFZ. The fridge has been stocked up by Will so just help yourself. I must apologise. We usually have at least one of the girlies in here working as serving wenches bit they're a bit thin on the ground now.
Pull up a seat. T.V. is on (I always worry about saying T.V. in here!!) but we are stuck with this channel because Jags has nicked the remote again. They do have sport on the Shopping Channel don't they??
Hello MHOFC
Welcome to te GFZ. The fridge has been stocked up by Will so just help yourself. I must apologise. We usually have at least one of the girlies in here working as serving wenches bit they're a bit thin on the ground now.
Pull up a seat. T.V. is on (I always worry about saying T.V. in here!!) but we are stuck with this channel because Jags has nicked the remote again. They do have sport on the Shopping Channel don't they??
Sarge - I've been using the remote (see last weeks' page for the instructions) and have to say it worked really well though I seem to have lost the knack of 'switch off' and the 'mute all sound' didn't work at all well! Volume seemed to be getting louder and louder then more I pressed the button... :wink:
Is that mess cleaned up yet? Is that pizza gone yet? Are Rangers going to win today?
Ooh.. MORE snow.. my favourite weather.
x xx x
:wink: Is that mess cleaned up yet? Is that pizza gone yet? Are Rangers going to win today?
Ooh.. MORE snow.. my favourite weather.
x xx x
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Even Carpy hasn?t been in with his secret notebook. :small-print: .
Ah, Sarge.....but notes become writing and writing takes time........the GFZ will get a copy when it's done, promise. I'll say no more for now !!
Some seven hours of snow (and a blizzard again right now !) kept me from the GFZ last night - ended up taking shelter in a hut with another stranded traveller.....I must thank the snow for that...... 8)
Right - must go and feed the huskies for the return journey !
Mush !
Carpy
Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving.
"Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"
"Get creative Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Irving.
"Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"Just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"
Little Johnny is taking a with his mother and asks"Mum what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply,she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow quite certain the matter would be didn't forget. The next morning he asked his father the same question. His father always quick with answers says,"Why Johnny, those are balloons.
When your Mummy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to Heaven".
Johnny thinks that's great and asks no more questions. A few weeks later,Johnny's das comes home from work a few hours early, Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy!Daddy" Mummy's dying!!" his father say's," calm down son, why do you think Mummy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mummy's balloons and she's screaming"oh God I'm coming!"
When your Mummy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to Heaven".
Johnny thinks that's great and asks no more questions. A few weeks later,Johnny's das comes home from work a few hours early, Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy!Daddy" Mummy's dying!!" his father say's," calm down son, why do you think Mummy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mummy's balloons and she's screaming"oh God I'm coming!"
