GFZ - Sarge, Hughies, and Ralphs

11 Feb 2004

I just had a very sensible conversation which turned all surreal when I said:

Oh yes, actually, this whole site is really just Mark pretending to be lots of people, and you are the only other member, it is all a secret government experiment to place people under pressure and see how they react.

Very Twighlight zone eh? - But how do you know it is not true? :twisted: How do you know that you are not the victim of a huge conspiricy
Anyway, I just thought that would be a good way to open the GFZ at the weekend, so I've popped it in now so you can all have a think about it.
Or not! lol

:lol: :lol:

13 Feb 2004

*Wilma pokes head up from behind sofa and sees all is quiet in the GFZ*.
Leaves note on table "Gone away for a few days, keep the place tidy" Box of chocs and bottle of Gin for Jags over by TV. Remote control is hidden (I'll pm Kit and tell her where it is).
Have fun girls!!!
*Pins notice on door on way out....

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GFZ!!

Love
Wilma
x x x x

13 Feb 2004

Do you know what really makes me sick? Drinking salt water, and sticking my fingers down my throat. :borg:
No, seriously, the Olympics.
Why do we have to BID for them? Would it not be great if one year, all those freeloaders from the IOC came smugly trundling out of their plush offices, ready to be wined, dined and feted with the best food in the best hotels, and the best entertainment in a grand two year world tour.
And NOBODY put a bid in!
lhk

13 Feb 2004

Twilight Zone... never mind GF zone!!!
x xx x

13 Feb 2004

Errrmmmm. If this site is a government experiment and the site is really just Mark and no-one else. Then who the f**k were all those people at the NW munch? :shock:
....and whose hotel room did we spend half the night in getting rapidly more pickled than a whole lorryload of gherkins?

13 Feb 2004

Dr Mark is like Dr Who - he changes before the eyes - moving from Bill Pertwee to Tom Baker to Slyvester McCoy without thought or pause or need.
I reckon this place gets more like 'The Bodysnatchers' every weekend.
Who'll be looking after shop next weekend?? Do I need to stay behind to do the unlocking, chucking out and locking??? Damn it.
x xx

13 Feb 2004

OOOPs.. OK... I concede it was Jon Pertwee and not Bill Pertwee..
Presence is assured next weekend - but who is getting the keys??
x xx x

13 Feb 2004

evening all, ermmm, all being will and our very own temptress jags, or, if the conspiracy theory is correct, then I'm mark, saying hello to myself :crazy: oh god, now i'm allllll confused, and i haven't even had a drop to drink yet blink

Beer I need beeeeeeer ! :cheers:
Ermmm, jags, if you're going to be occupied next weekend, who's going to clear up after us ? dunno

13 Feb 2004

Brumlad - THAT was just my question!! Anyway, I don't do cleaning, I don't do ironing, I don't do vacuuming, I don't do dish washing, I don't do emptying bins or ashtrays.
I do do pouring gin or wine, I do do handing out nibbles, I do do bread making, I do do love making, I do do music making, I do do books reading, I do do poetry reciting and I do do white eygptian cotton sheets.
Hah!

13 Feb 2004

{Carpathian pokes his head round the door of the GFZ for the first time}
Evening folks !
Is this the home of merryment I'd been hearing of ?
I'm a GFZ newbie so is anybody willing to take me by the hand and ease me in gently ?
{Carpathians pocket sized Freudian alarm sounds resoundingly so he removes the batteries and throws them behind the sofa}
I've brought a nice Cabernet Sauvignon and some chocolate so high in cocoa it'll barely fit in the wrapper.
Any takers ?

13 Feb 2004

Quote by Jags
I don't do cleaning, I don't do ironing, I don't do vacuuming, I don't do dish washing, I don't do emptying bins or ashtrays.
I do do pouring gin or wine, I do do handing out nibbles, I do do bread making, I do do love making, I do do music making, I do do books reading, I do do poetry reciting and I do do white eygptian cotton sheets.

Jags, make yourself comfortable, I'll have a jack d, and I believe carp has a rather nice bottle of red he'd like opening ! I'd gladly take the keys and lock up on sunday night, unfortunately, I do not have the gift from the heavenly helpers to hold the keys :undecided:
Carp, make yourself comfy, we do seem a bit thin on the ground at the mo, and unusually the girlies aren't around to tend to all of our every needs, with the exception of our drinks monitor, the one and only jags sat over there on the sofa.
Now if only I could find that damned remote that wilma's hidden !

13 Feb 2004

Carparthian - I LOoooooooooove red wine... am on the Merlot at the moment but your offering is welcome.
Friday night is usually quiet - everyone is deflating after the week. Mind you the Flinstones are packing for going away so they will be absent, and missed.
x xx

13 Feb 2004

seeing as it's friday, i thought i'd share a story with you all (i can hear misschief groaning again from here rotflmao

)
all I say now, is SORRY in advance !!!!
After a painfull break up from her last boyfriend last year, Joanne decided she needed to get away for a while to clear her head. She'd allways wanted to visit greece, so she decided to go on holiday all on her own. She took some time off work, booked a last minute holiday at the travel agents, and off she went.
On the second day of her holiday, Joanne was sitting by the pool, and decided that she needed a drink. She got up and walked over to the bar. A young greek waiter was serving the drinks, and she decided to strike up a conversation with him. The waiter was called Stereoph, he was single, 2 years younger than her, and ran the bar for his dad.
Joanne had taken quite a shine to Stereoph, and found herself going down to the bar every day, just to talk with him. She plucked up the courage, and invited Stereoph to join her for dinner that evening.
To cut a story short, they got on like a house on fire, and Joanne kept intouch with Stereoph when she returned home to the UK. After writing to each other for several months, they decided Stereoph should come to the UK. They had a brilliant time, he was Joanne's prince in shining armour, so much so, that they decided to get married.
2 days before the wedding, they went shopping for some new clothes. Joanne wanted a new handbag and a selection of posh frocks, so they trawled around every clothes shop in town. Somehow, they managed to get split up. Stereoph was still holding the handbag and one of the dresses in his hand, and walked out of the store to look for Joanne, where he was promptly arrested for shoplifting.
When Joanne asked the police what Stereoph had done, they replied
"it just goes to show love that STEREOPHoNICKS HANDBAGS and GLADRAGS"

13 Feb 2004

Sgt Bilko peeps around the door of the GFZ just to make sure "Lady"WA isn't there waiting to pounce on him. Ahaaa!! Just as I thought. All mouth that girl. Builds up to a big show down then doesn't show!!

13 Feb 2004

Brumlad, judging by that joke you have had too much to drink already, which is more than can be said for me.
JAGS WHERE'S MY DRINK ????

13 Feb 2004

evening sarge :cheers:
i am alarmed at the lack of girlies, and they said it would never be a GFZ ha !!!!
I think Jags is asleep on the sofa, cuddling that bottle of merlot, and with that knowing grin on her face, she knows where the remote's hidden too !

13 Feb 2004

Do you think if we drink quietly she will stay asleep? It would be worth getting my own beer for a bit of peace and quiet!!
Sgt Bilko

13 Feb 2004

ssssshhhhh, this is too good an opportunity to miss :giggle:
time to draw the comedy moustache on her, but remember, "you ain't seen me, right !"

13 Feb 2004

Jags is way too busy with someone else to look after you lot!!
:happy:

13 Feb 2004

Quote by Jags
Jags is way too busy with someone else to look after you lot!!
:happy:

Good on you Jags, have fun!!!
Right Brumlad, looks like it is just me and you. At least the GFZ is girl free for a change. Did you find that Remote???
Sgt Bilko

13 Feb 2004

Quote by Jags
Who'll be looking after shop next weekend?? Do I need to stay behind to do the unlocking, chucking out and locking??? Damn it.

Who cares? :twisted:

13 Feb 2004

LadyWA peers round the door....Basque and Sussies all silky and warm...thinks to herself "thought I was chicken eh Sarge?" :shock: Then I see Bilko and brumlad....

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Right Brumlad, looks like it is just me and you. At least the GFZ is girl free for a change.

Ah, I see now Sarge! I see why you want the girlies out of here...who brought the KY and which way do you prefer it, on your back with legs held high or head down ass high? Never the mind, I am sure you two will be terribly happy! I think I know where the remote went now..ewwww...the way you are walking gave it away!
I'm not so sure this thread should really be called the GFZ, after all it's mainly girlies posting in here and all you "men" have gone rather quiet and ran away (Fred? Fred? No matter how hard she hollows he does not respond! Isn't it called desertion when the rank and file disappear on you Sarge?)
Settles onto sofa..enjoys a drink or two, decides..hey it ain't that good here after all and leaves...for a promise that will be fulfilled...unlike here!
Yet again Bilko disappoints me!
LadyWA
xxx

13 Feb 2004

Evening Gentlemen, and you too Sarge. God Bless all here!
Thought I'd poke my snout in and see what's afoot (don't tell me,12 inches). Yes, I'd love a pint Sarge-Merlot please-in a straight glass. Can't stay long-a long night in the lambing shed to come. I hope you lads don't mind, I've brought Fred Ferret for a bit of company, and his Jill-ermm, she's called Jill-they fancy this swinging malarkee (they've heard that just being called Fred is enough to guarantee success). I've also brought Fly, my old dog, poor old lad is about buggered. Don't worry about his incontinence-he usually licks it up himself. Oh. and the fleas don't bite humans for long-well, it usually wears off by bedtime. Dribble? Yes I suppose he does really-but that's not his best trick: just show him a 'posh bird's' leg and he up it like a squirrel at a bird table! Lord yes, can't get the old bugger off, just hangs on-humping like a Pompey tart-and that makes his pissing and dribbling even worse you see. Good job that Lady WA isn't here, we'd be drowning in piss-and dribble-and fleas. No, no, that smell isn't Fly-that's the ferrets;yes, it does linger a bit I suppose. But it could be my overalls-got a few sows coming into season so I've had 'Big Vick' the boar out. Apparently , the smell is really strong to women-something to do with Fairy Moans or summat like that. They can't stand it apparently. What's that Brumlad? No, No,complete coincidence!! No, the fact I've brought my ferrets, a dribbling, pissing, 'posh -bird'fixated sheepdog and am wearing overalls reeking of 'Boar Taint': complete co-incidence mate. wink

13 Feb 2004

OK...Jags is now officially unbusy - though I have to say being busy was fun!! Now clear up this mess lads - god, did your mother never teach you how to wave a duster around??
x xx x

13 Feb 2004

Tum Te Tum Te Tum...files nails, switches channels incessantly (no Sarge don't go there, brought my own all in one remote)...waits for the men, no still no one. Where Sarge and brumlad have gone to fulfil their needs I have no idea, but they certainly have scarpered from here!
Tum Te Tum Te Tum...slight yawn...just filling time...maybe paint my toenails.
Challenge in here is 90% boredom, 5% eyebrow plucking and 5% winding the men up!
LadyWA....

13 Feb 2004

jags dear, it's a designer look, and it's taken us days to cultivate this high level of mould and dust you see before you.
now, i shouldn't have to ask, but my glass of JD is empty lol

now who has got the remote....lady wa !???

13 Feb 2004

My god what is going on in this world! I step into the GFZ for a bit of light relief (pwaaaa!!!) and what do I see sarge and brum on their backs smothered in cuddly toy's evil

Guy's stand up for yourselves dont lose everything.
Drink and women are the only things we have left for indulgence!!!

13 Feb 2004

Well, Lady Wa, I takes me'at off to you: the stink in here is enough to drop a badger at fifty yards and you've not batted an eyelid. Sarge has baled out looking all puce, Brumlad is shouting for his 'Uncle Huey' in the toilet, no bugger else in sight-and you are as calm as a puddled duck on a mill -pond. Must be true what they say about you 'haristocracy being tough. Old fly has humped your leg all round the Wrekin, Fred has hissed and reared, the stink of 'Old Vick' is making my eyes water, and still you haven't budged. You know, I think you could be the artificer's type of girl..how do fancy coming with me to check the sheep: stars are out, snipe are whistling, frogs will be singing before long..I might just show you an old trick my Teid taught me.... wink

13 Feb 2004

arti, the lengths you'll go to, just to show a lady your ferret

:rotflmao:

13 Feb 2004

*Wilma pokes head around door*
See Jags has been in and had the Gin. Lady WA, GO GIRL!! Keep em on their toes.
What was that Brumlad?.....Arti is going to show his lengths........better stick around for that one.
I got 10 minutes before bedtime...let's see what unfolds!!!! :beer: