THE CAFE is a fairly robust place. Threads are started on all manner of subjects. Some are fun and some are serious. The serious threads can provoke some strong opinions and views. It is in the nature of the place that disagreements take place.
Do you ever feel so worried by the possible responses you might get to your views and opinions that you don't post? That other members will be hostile to your thoughts and will round on you and a give you a hard time?
Has this happened to you in the past?
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Hostile responses in the forum
Afternoon dear... 
I only ever post what's on my mind. I've said this from the start and I'll say it again, I post the truth and if no one likes what I have to say then so beit. I can't honestly say I've seen anyone totally and utterly victimised on here either.
I'm not afraid to "post and be damned" as it were, I just post. I sometimes think afterwards, maybe I was a little harsh or maybe I didn't word something correctly but I've never worried I'd be jumped on for it.
I think in this world we spend too much time worrying what others think of us instead of doing what we want.
My advice? post your honest feelings and if people don't like it that's their lookout, people cannot like and agree with us all of the time.
I only ever post what's on my mind. I've said this from the start and I'll say it again, I post the truth and if no one likes what I have to say then so beit. I can't honestly say I've seen anyone totally and utterly victimised on here either.
I'm not afraid to "post and be damned" as it were, I just post. I sometimes think afterwards, maybe I was a little harsh or maybe I didn't word something correctly but I've never worried I'd be jumped on for it.
I think in this world we spend too much time worrying what others think of us instead of doing what we want.
My advice? post your honest feelings and if people don't like it that's their lookout, people cannot like and agree with us all of the time.
Sex God
I think at the beginning I did......when I was new, I don't think I wanted to say anything remotely controversial, however sitting on the fence is only going to get you splinter up your arse!!! 
:lol:
now.... I really can't be bothered!!
and I don't mean that in a bad way either....
I think I finally realised that not everyone is going to like everything I say, and I think that is a case of me being more comfortable
I think it is a case of me being true to myself... I am not going to agree with everything everyone says, some people are going to wind me up in ways I didn't believe existed...
But I respect peoples opinions even if I don't agree with them........
I mean... if everything and everyone was "sugar sweet" my god what a boring place it would be!!!! :lol:
:lol: now.... I really can't be bothered!!
and I don't mean that in a bad way either.... I think I finally realised that not everyone is going to like everything I say, and I think that is a case of me being more comfortable
I think it is a case of me being true to myself... I am not going to agree with everything everyone says, some people are going to wind me up in ways I didn't believe existed...
But I respect peoples opinions even if I don't agree with them........
I mean... if everything and everyone was "sugar sweet" my god what a boring place it would be!!!! :lol:
Sex God
Quote by keeno
THE CAFE is a fairly robust place. Threads are started on all manner of subjects. Some are fun and some are serious. The serious threads can provoke some strong opinions and views. It is in the nature of the place that disagreements take place.
Do you ever feel so worried by the possible responses you might get to your views and opinions that you don't post? That other members will be hostile to your thoughts and will round on you and a give you a hard time?
Has this happened to you in the past?
Yes it has. I try to be as honest as I can, without being nasty or rude to anyone. Unfortunately there are people who want everyone to agree with them and if they don't, they are seen as being argumentative rather than just making their own point or giving their opinion.
What's worse though, is when people send PMs to people expressing their displeasure at being disagreed with. Or when they think that someone is singling them out. Or if they think they are being ridiculed, when in fact someone has just been jokey or just plain daft. Telling the person not to post etc.
I think (no, I know) that can happen. Maybe when someone's been quietly warned because of their comments on a thread. Thereafter, they might do it by PM so as not to be seen doing it. That's just plain bullying, in my opinion. But it works; some members have been discouraged from airing their views because others like to play the victim. I know that there are certain people whose threads I simply don't look at any longer. There's no point - unless I agree with the OP I will be drawn into pointless argument, simply for having a different opinion.
In a way, the OP has then cut off their nose to spite their face - some opinions won't be aired, resulting in a debate which will invariably drop off the page - which is a shame, really. I think I'd also then avoid any contact with a person like that.
Just a thought - if anyone feels as if they are being bullied, they should report it to a mod.
Quote by de_sade
THE CAFE is a fairly robust place. Threads are started on all manner of subjects. Some are fun and some are serious. The serious threads can provoke some strong opinions and views. It is in the nature of the place that disagreements take place.
Do you ever feel so worried by the possible responses you might get to your views and opinions that you don't post? That other members will be hostile to your thoughts and will round on you and a give you a hard time?
Has this happened to you in the past?
Happens a lot. To a lot of people, apparently.
I think, personally, that it is sad that someone cannot air their views in an open forum for fear of certain individuals jumping on their backs.
I'm not talking about controversial views or things that break the site AUP, sometimes just ordinary things that others think they have the monopoly on in regards to opinions.
No need to name names, most of us on here know the principal culprits. Pity there is so little parity when it comes to the administration of the site and the same sad folks get away with baiting, bitching and biting and others are so brow-beaten by the goings-on that they feel disinclined to contribute.
post and be damned.
Afterall, silence is not an opinion.
On the whole I agree with what you say, although I seldom practice the post and be damned ethos myself. All too often is closer to “post and be banned” sadly.
Quote by keeno
THE CAFE is a fairly robust place. Threads are started on all manner of subjects. Some are fun and some are serious. The serious threads can provoke some strong opinions and views. It is in the nature of the place that disagreements take place.
Do you ever feel so worried by the possible responses you might get to your views and opinions that you don't post? That other members will be hostile to your thoughts and will round on you and a give you a hard time?
I've been trying to moderate what I say ever since I joined. Compared to other boards where I post, the rules about what you can say and what you can talk about here are so restricting that I feel the atmosphere is very fluffy and unreal. I am particularly pissed off at the moment because an answer to a post that I made on the 'Other swingers sites' thread has been deleted, and I have had to PM the writer to find out what he said. Why all the hush-hush? You wouldn't whisper in a real cafe!
Will I get banned for saying this?
Sex God
Quote by Philfuller
I've been trying to moderate what I say ever since I joined. Compared to other boards where I post, the rules about what you can say and what you can talk about here are so restricting that I feel the atmosphere is very fluffy and unreal. I am particularly pissed off at the moment because an answer to a post that I made on the 'Other swingers sites' thread has been deleted, and I have had to PM the writer to find out what he said. Why all the hush-hush? You wouldn't whisper in a real cafe!
Will I get banned for saying this?
The answer was replaced by asterisks. Not deleted. It's a filter. The atmosphere in this Cafe is often far from fluffy, I can assure you. With regard to whispering in a cafe, I certainly don't speak loudly enough that anyone other than the people I'm with, or maybe the next table if they're trying to listen in, would be able to hear me.
If you get banned, will you be that worried if you find the place as oppressive as you seem to?
Sex God
Quote by Freckledird
.............Thereafter, they might do it by PM so as not to be seen doing it. That's just plain bullying, in my opinion. But it works; some members have been discouraged from airing their views.........
How true and well said.
I know in some cases I won't post because I know the OP is not going to like my point of view, and I will get moaned at.
I tend to post in a very careful, measured manner. This is mainly because if I have a point to make, I want to be sure that I can get my point across without giving people a reason to detract from it.
Example, a very short while ago, I used the term "Someone you wouldn't want to sit next to on the bus," when I really wanted to say "minger."
Example, a very short while ago, I used the term "Someone you wouldn't want to sit next to on the bus," when I really wanted to say "minger."
Quote by winchwench
I tend to post in a very careful, measured manner. This is mainly because if I have a point to make, I want to be sure that I can get my point across without giving people a reason to detract from it.
Example, a very short while ago, I used the term "Someone you wouldn't want to sit next to on the bus," when I really wanted to say "minger."
I SO love that word....and slapper too
Sex God
Quote by flower411
Hang On !!!
I saw the original post with the name of the site in it AND I saw the reply a couple of posts down that advised jet to amend his post because it mentioned the other site and named and shamed!!
The second post has disappeared and jet`s has been amended :shock:
Could we have some clarification as to what actually happened because it seems to be causing a bit of a fuss !!
Ooooo if that's the case, I apologise profusely. I didn't see the name (or the other post advising him to amend), just saw the * words and presumed it was the filter that did it, as it does some other words.
Apologies for that confusion.
Sex God
Quote by winchwench
Example, a very short while ago, I used the term "Someone you wouldn't want to sit next to on the bus," when I really wanted to say "minger."
You meant me, didn't you?
Sex God
Quote by de_sade
THE CAFE is a fairly robust place. Threads are started on all manner of subjects. Some are fun and some are serious. The serious threads can provoke some strong opinions and views. It is in the nature of the place that disagreements take place.
Do you ever feel so worried by the possible responses you might get to your views and opinions that you don't post? That other members will be hostile to your thoughts and will round on you and a give you a hard time?
Has this happened to you in the past?
Happens a lot. To a lot of people, apparently.
I think, personally, that it is sad that someone cannot air their views in an open forum for fear of certain individuals jumping on their backs.
I'm not talking about controversial views or things that break the site AUP, sometimes just ordinary things that others think they have the monopoly on in regards to opinions.
No need to name names, most of us on here know the principal culprits. Pity there is so little parity when it comes to the administration of the site and the same sad folks get away with baiting, bitching and biting and others are so brow-beaten by the goings-on that they feel disinclined to contribute.
post and be damned.
Afterall, silence is not an opinion.
I agree with with whats said above.
I would add that I found the need to P.M someone very recently regarding how I felt about them responding to a few of my posts. I thought it was the right thing to do seeing as I didnt want to make public my concern for everyone to see and to comment on. I was polite and asked for clarification.
If anyone ever thought that bullying via P.M was taking place then I'm sure the Mods would be more than happy to look into these things and you can always forward any posts of that sort for them to check and deal with. It's part of what the mod system is therefore, I save anything that comes in mails whether in s-h or anywhere else for a while just in case i need to reference stuff .
Quote by flower411
Hang On !!!
I saw the original post with the name of the site in it AND I saw the reply a couple of posts down that advised jet to amend his post because it mentioned the other site and named and shamed!!
The second post has disappeared and jet`s has been amended :shock:
Could we have some clarification as to what actually happened because it seems to be causing a bit of a fuss !!
Yep, it was me that advised him to remove it from his post to save his embarrassment and him getting told of, a short while later, as it was changed it to ***** i deleted my post as thought it was pointless it being there any longer.
I think there would still be some filters in place though but not 100% sure, maybe the admin could enlighten us?
Tony
In edit : It don't say "last edited" under the post that had the offending text in it .. so maybe he didn't edit it himself?
Quote by Shaz_n_Tony
In edit : It don't say "last edited" under the post that had the offending text in it .. so maybe he didn't edit it himself?
Tony, Ive noticed that it doesn't say *last edited* when you edit your own post recently. So maybe he did edit his own post :smile:
*in edit* Ive just noticed the edit button is working again!! So maybe not
:lol: I have only ever had one incident on here in all the time i have posted that i thought was unfair and completely unjust.
I commented on a thread that was about a quite serious social issue in the national news once. There was the usual agreements, disagreements and conflicting viewpoints, which u expect as not everybody has the same opinions etc,etc. Then came the people who really do bug me who try to be overly liberal and end up to the greater populous making themselves seem a little nonsensical(IMHO).
Im not going to comment on the topic as i was actually banned for referring to one or two of the people who posted as "absolute idiots" which in MY opinion they were for making some of the remarks they did!!
One of these people complained to a Mod who i was later told was a "friend" of theirs and i had a post removed in which i defended my decision to make the "idiots" comment.
In truth i did get annoyed as i felt i was being victimised and silenced as my views were a little overzealous and was painted into a corner by a clique (even though they dont exist)and then reposted my thread after it was i know breaks the site AUP's
I got a permanent ban which i appealed and after a couple of weeks the ban was lifted by Admin.
Some of the people who made similar remarks and were long time members (and are sadly missed)were banned permanently as they refused to back down, which due to Miss srne also being a member on our account and wanting to use the site too i kind of did (back down).
In truth i am now very very careful as to what i say especially if my opinion differs from some of the members who use the site regularly and who have "friends in high places" and have people who will back their opinions even if the greater mass see it as bordering on ridiculous.
But i do still love it here for the most part.
PS not a whinge just an answer to the original posts question with relevant historical back up to give weight to my claims!! If that made ANY sense?
I commented on a thread that was about a quite serious social issue in the national news once. There was the usual agreements, disagreements and conflicting viewpoints, which u expect as not everybody has the same opinions etc,etc. Then came the people who really do bug me who try to be overly liberal and end up to the greater populous making themselves seem a little nonsensical(IMHO).
Im not going to comment on the topic as i was actually banned for referring to one or two of the people who posted as "absolute idiots" which in MY opinion they were for making some of the remarks they did!!
One of these people complained to a Mod who i was later told was a "friend" of theirs and i had a post removed in which i defended my decision to make the "idiots" comment.
In truth i did get annoyed as i felt i was being victimised and silenced as my views were a little overzealous and was painted into a corner by a clique (even though they dont exist)and then reposted my thread after it was i know breaks the site AUP's
I got a permanent ban which i appealed and after a couple of weeks the ban was lifted by Admin.
Some of the people who made similar remarks and were long time members (and are sadly missed)were banned permanently as they refused to back down, which due to Miss srne also being a member on our account and wanting to use the site too i kind of did (back down).
In truth i am now very very careful as to what i say especially if my opinion differs from some of the members who use the site regularly and who have "friends in high places" and have people who will back their opinions even if the greater mass see it as bordering on ridiculous.
But i do still love it here for the most part.
PS not a whinge just an answer to the original posts question with relevant historical back up to give weight to my claims!! If that made ANY sense?
In a carefull thought out response, which I have written, deleted, written again, and chickened out of pressing the submit button twice
I think that the Cafe here on SH is like a microcosm, in that it contains a broad cross section of personalities, opinions and socio-economic from across the board, all scaled down and squeeeeeezed into a tiny forum.
In here as in life, even though we tend to be, for the most part, annonymous, there are polite people, forthright people, timid and meek people, and downright bolshy people, and even some bullies.
Its something we have to deal with in an appropriate adult manner, as we would in life. Whether thats to argue back, to stand your ground, to ignore the person, use wit, or to go off, cry in a corner and worry yourself to death about whether or not a comment has been misconstrued.
Personally I think we should all have a group hug and love each other
Not sure if this has made any sense at all, but I know what I am meaning to say.
I think that the Cafe here on SH is like a microcosm, in that it contains a broad cross section of personalities, opinions and socio-economic from across the board, all scaled down and squeeeeeezed into a tiny forum.
In here as in life, even though we tend to be, for the most part, annonymous, there are polite people, forthright people, timid and meek people, and downright bolshy people, and even some bullies.
Its something we have to deal with in an appropriate adult manner, as we would in life. Whether thats to argue back, to stand your ground, to ignore the person, use wit, or to go off, cry in a corner and worry yourself to death about whether or not a comment has been misconstrued.
Personally I think we should all have a group hug and love each other
Not sure if this has made any sense at all, but I know what I am meaning to say.
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
In a carefull thought out response, which I have written, deleted, written again, and chickened out of pressing the submit button twice
I think that the Cafe here on SH is like a microcosm, in that it contains a broad cross section of personalities, opinions and socio-economic from across the board, all scaled down and squeeeeeezed into a tiny forum.
In here as in life, even though we tend to be, for the most part, annonymous, there are polite people, forthright people, timid and meek people, and downright bolshy people, and even some bullies.
Its something we have to deal with in an appropriate adult manner, as we would in life. Whether thats to argue back, to stand your ground, to ignore the person, use wit, or to go off, cry in a corner and worry yourself to death about whether or not a comment has been misconstrued.
Personally I think we should all have a group hug and love each other
Not sure if this has made any sense at all, but I know what I am meaning to say.
Well said!
Group Hug? Is that a bit like swinging?? :lol:
:rascal:
Sex God
Srne? if you refer to members of this site as absolute idiots, even indirectly, you're saying your opinion is superior to theirs, cos they're stupid, and you're not. that ain't necessarily true, cos it's all just a matter of opinion. intelligence don't come into it, so the absolute idiots thing was probably a mistake? more importantly, you are being personally insulting and offensive, cos you know who you're referring to, and you intend that others know who you're referring to? even if you didn't refer to them directly, by name, the intent is that people read your post, and the people who read that post can work out who you're referring to as absolute idiots. that's knowingly treading a very fine line re: AUP, depending on interpretation, so i can't see how you have much cause for complaint? doesn't seem to have much to do with cliques and favouritsm to me, and has everything to do with inappropriate wording? 
;)
moving on swiftly . . .
as for hostile responses, publish and be damned. i don't worry about hostile responses meself, cos i'm big enough and ugly enough to give it back if i want to, but i do worry that i might occasionally seem hostile myself? strong debate can often be read as personal, particularly when someone wants to take it that way? :? taking someone to task for their stated opinion is not the same thing as taking them to task personally, but we're generally attached to our opinions, cos they're ours, and we don't like it when people tell us our thoughts and opinions are stupid? i probably spend far too much time in edit at times, softening the wording, cos i don't want to look like i'm being personally provocative. if someone wants to be personally provocative back . . . like a give a flying one? i do give a flying one though if i think i've been a twat to someone unneccessarily, cos it's uncalled for, and i don't like doing that to people. it's not about being pink and fluffy. it's about being politely civil and respectful, no matter how wrongheaded i think they are. ;)
it is very hard to convey meaning accurately in text, in the absence of vocal tone and facial expression. most of us have discovered that the hard way, when we have been misinterpreted. :? hence the frequent overuse of emotes. ;) what i hate with a passion is when members who know that are unnecessarily argumentative to those who haven't yet discovered their posting boots, or the ways of the site, and can stick the boot in knowing it most often won't be returned, and have a degree of safety in numbers.
neil x x x ;)
;)moving on swiftly . . .
as for hostile responses, publish and be damned. i don't worry about hostile responses meself, cos i'm big enough and ugly enough to give it back if i want to, but i do worry that i might occasionally seem hostile myself? strong debate can often be read as personal, particularly when someone wants to take it that way? :? taking someone to task for their stated opinion is not the same thing as taking them to task personally, but we're generally attached to our opinions, cos they're ours, and we don't like it when people tell us our thoughts and opinions are stupid? i probably spend far too much time in edit at times, softening the wording, cos i don't want to look like i'm being personally provocative. if someone wants to be personally provocative back . . . like a give a flying one? i do give a flying one though if i think i've been a twat to someone unneccessarily, cos it's uncalled for, and i don't like doing that to people. it's not about being pink and fluffy. it's about being politely civil and respectful, no matter how wrongheaded i think they are. ;)
it is very hard to convey meaning accurately in text, in the absence of vocal tone and facial expression. most of us have discovered that the hard way, when we have been misinterpreted. :? hence the frequent overuse of emotes. ;) what i hate with a passion is when members who know that are unnecessarily argumentative to those who haven't yet discovered their posting boots, or the ways of the site, and can stick the boot in knowing it most often won't be returned, and have a degree of safety in numbers.
neil x x x ;)
Sex God
neil, as usual :thumbup:
in edit though - I do only comment on a few threads now as I feel that I do not want to get into big debates when there is no right nor wrong answer.-It seems as though it just goes round in circles
in edit though - I do only comment on a few threads now as I feel that I do not want to get into big debates when there is no right nor wrong answer.-It seems as though it just goes round in circles
Srne? if you refer to members of this site as absolute idiots, even indirectly, you're saying your opinion is superior to theirs, cos they're stupid, and you're not. that ain't necessarily true, cos it's all just a matter of opinion. intelligence don't come into it, so the absolute idiots thing was probably a mistake? more importantly, you are being personally insulting and offensive, cos you know who you're referring to, and you intend that others know who you're referring to? even if you didn't refer to them directly, by name, the intent is that people read your post, and the people who read that post can work out who you're referring to as absolute idiots. that's knowingly treading a very fine line re: AUP, depending on interpretation, so i can't see how you have much cause for complaint? doesn't seem to have much to do with cliques and favouritsm to me, and has everything to do with inappropriate wording? ;)
I dont think i was trying to out anybody by my remarks Neil, just merely commenting on something i felt very frustrated with at the time.
You have probably done that in your response perhaps :?
As for refering to people as idiots indirectly or not i think the interpretation that you made about me thinking my opinion was superior to other peoples was a little far off the mark, interpretations eh, who'd have em!!
As you are so careful to point out that i am close to breaking AUP's i think its a little pathetic that you seem to be attempting to "bait" a Mod to pick me up on this maybe?
In edit, regardless of the response to any of this im going to keep my opinions firmly to myself, that way, that little word interpretation cant be used against me as i think it can get a little childish on here at certain times.
;)I dont think i was trying to out anybody by my remarks Neil, just merely commenting on something i felt very frustrated with at the time.
You have probably done that in your response perhaps :?
As for refering to people as idiots indirectly or not i think the interpretation that you made about me thinking my opinion was superior to other peoples was a little far off the mark, interpretations eh, who'd have em!!
As you are so careful to point out that i am close to breaking AUP's i think its a little pathetic that you seem to be attempting to "bait" a Mod to pick me up on this maybe?
In edit, regardless of the response to any of this im going to keep my opinions firmly to myself, that way, that little word interpretation cant be used against me as i think it can get a little childish on here at certain times.
It is noticable that some people get away with sailing far closer to the wind than others. Can I give you an example? Not really, no. Theres way too much going on in my life for me to be keeping a log.
However, there has been many a time I've raised an eyebrow at something someone has got away with, and thought to myself "if so& so had said that, they'd have been jumped on."
However, there has been many a time I've raised an eyebrow at something someone has got away with, and thought to myself "if so& so had said that, they'd have been jumped on."
Quote by winchwench
It is noticable that some people get away with sailing far closer to the wind than others. Can I give you an example? Not really, no. Theres way too much going on in my life for me to be keeping a log.
However, there has been many a time I've raised an eyebrow at something someone has got away with, and thought to myself "if so& so had said that, they'd have been jumped on."
:thumbup:
Yes I have seen this too.
Quote by Srne
As you are so careful to point out that i am close to breaking AUP's i think its a little pathetic that you seem to be attempting to "bait" a Mod to pick me up on this maybe?
I don't think he's trying to bate a mod, just giving a bit of advise maybe.
From the AUP
Any comments which are hateful, or racist.
Abusive or aggressive behaviour towards fellow members, Ops/Mods or Administration staff.
Anyway, moving on.
When we first joined, Sharon was very nervous posting mainly because her spelling and grammar isn't fantastic ( mine isn't much better ) and she had only ever used forums a few times before.
She has a spell check now that checks her spelling as she types and only the odd mistake gets through.
Yes, we feel that some might get jumped on faster than others, but we don't believe its singling anyone out, our theory is, its impossible for the mods and other members to remember how they handled each and every post so there will be a little inconsistency, were all humans and just can't run 100% consistent.
Hope that makes sense
Tony
Sex God
Quote by Srne
little pathetic that you seem to be attempting to "bait" a Mod to pick me up on this maybe?
In edit, regardless of the response to any of this im going to keep my opinions firmly to myself, that way, that little word interpretation cant be used against me as i think it can get a little childish on here at certain times.
you haven't kept your opinions to yourself though have you by implying that Neil's opinion is pathetic :shock:
end of....
Quote by hisandhers
little pathetic that you seem to be attempting to "bait" a Mod to pick me up on this maybe?
In edit, regardless of the response to any of this im going to keep my opinions firmly to myself, that way, that little word interpretation cant be used against me as i think it can get a little childish on here at certain times.
you haven't kept your opinions to yourself though have you by implying that Neil's opinion is pathetic :shock:
end of....
The "in edit" bit would lead most people to the fact that i wrote the latter part after the part u put in red hisandhers!!
Ahhh ...
This is a touchy subject... when I first started posting I took things personal at times.. There is a certain mentality that prowls the site/forum/cafe looking for arguments without a doubt.. I just think how sad they sometimes come accross..
After a while I only got to take something personal if the person saying or posting has actually met me/us and then says something untrue or to have a go.. Then its truly personal and very offensive.. but as suggested before should never be aired in here as its not the place.. Besides i have always favoured sorting that kind of thing out face to face. If they havn't met me however how can it be personal.. Its just text, nothing more really! I sit here and laugh at most things said even the things said against my point of view.. Everyone is entitled to a point of view after all.. No matter how stupid they appear at times. Even mine lol... (Flippant)
Its healthy and even fun to discuss most things.. I know i have learned alot listening to others.
Mike xx
This is a touchy subject... when I first started posting I took things personal at times.. There is a certain mentality that prowls the site/forum/cafe looking for arguments without a doubt.. I just think how sad they sometimes come accross..
After a while I only got to take something personal if the person saying or posting has actually met me/us and then says something untrue or to have a go.. Then its truly personal and very offensive.. but as suggested before should never be aired in here as its not the place.. Besides i have always favoured sorting that kind of thing out face to face. If they havn't met me however how can it be personal.. Its just text, nothing more really! I sit here and laugh at most things said even the things said against my point of view.. Everyone is entitled to a point of view after all.. No matter how stupid they appear at times. Even mine lol... (Flippant)
Its healthy and even fun to discuss most things.. I know i have learned alot listening to others.
Mike xx
To address the original premise that "THE CAFE is a fairly robust place."
The Cafe is as robust as it's most truculent contributors and the support that they can muster. As with any forum, being right is never the issue, what really matters is who can stick to their guns the longest and drum up the most support. Cogent thought and coherent argument hounded out my the weight of negative, sniping responses.
The safety of the pack, being able to light the blue touch paper and then retire, in the knowledge (whether pre-determined or not) that another of the cohort will step forward to firmly round on the current victim.
.
............ and those that deny the possibility that the above applies to the Cafe - then I would say that 'the lady doth protest to much'.
Does the Cafe and it's exalted alpha members engage in group think? Possibly. And how easy it is then to engage in a spot of Ultra-violence by way of a well chosen word or two tapped out on the keyboard.
Chat rooms and fora take on the rules of the playground - some stand with their backs to the wall (to avoid getting their arses kicked) and watch, listen and soak up the atmosphere. Revelling in the vicarious thrill of seeing someone beaten, but always thankful it wasn't they who put their head above the parapet or expressed either naivety or original thought.
Others tag along and join in with the bullies not wishing to be seen as different and so confident they will always remain on the winning side.
A different group, though not a group as they are individuals, care not a jot what is said and post and be damned - but these are rare birds indeed - there may even be a sub-group, here, of those who post and KNOW they will be damned!
There is a blindness that afflicts some posters, I wouldn't endow them with the credit that is needed to call it arrogance, which keeps them from seeing (or predicting) the effects of either their ill-chosen or exceptionally well chosen words.
Being blunt should never be mistaken for downright rudeness - there is a world of difference, and I have yet to see any post which I would say was 'blunt'.
As to whether "Has this happened to you in the past?" in respect to hostility. To me, yes. My first post in here was fully rounded on and subsequently deleted. Hey, but woe betide me for calling a site policy into question and having the temerity to suggest that it was inequitable in substance and not policed in an even handed manner.
The Cafe is as robust as it's most truculent contributors and the support that they can muster. As with any forum, being right is never the issue, what really matters is who can stick to their guns the longest and drum up the most support. Cogent thought and coherent argument hounded out my the weight of negative, sniping responses.
The safety of the pack, being able to light the blue touch paper and then retire, in the knowledge (whether pre-determined or not) that another of the cohort will step forward to firmly round on the current victim.
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............ and those that deny the possibility that the above applies to the Cafe - then I would say that 'the lady doth protest to much'.
Does the Cafe and it's exalted alpha members engage in group think? Possibly. And how easy it is then to engage in a spot of Ultra-violence by way of a well chosen word or two tapped out on the keyboard.
Chat rooms and fora take on the rules of the playground - some stand with their backs to the wall (to avoid getting their arses kicked) and watch, listen and soak up the atmosphere. Revelling in the vicarious thrill of seeing someone beaten, but always thankful it wasn't they who put their head above the parapet or expressed either naivety or original thought.
Others tag along and join in with the bullies not wishing to be seen as different and so confident they will always remain on the winning side.
A different group, though not a group as they are individuals, care not a jot what is said and post and be damned - but these are rare birds indeed - there may even be a sub-group, here, of those who post and KNOW they will be damned!
There is a blindness that afflicts some posters, I wouldn't endow them with the credit that is needed to call it arrogance, which keeps them from seeing (or predicting) the effects of either their ill-chosen or exceptionally well chosen words.
Being blunt should never be mistaken for downright rudeness - there is a world of difference, and I have yet to see any post which I would say was 'blunt'.
As to whether "Has this happened to you in the past?" in respect to hostility. To me, yes. My first post in here was fully rounded on and subsequently deleted. Hey, but woe betide me for calling a site policy into question and having the temerity to suggest that it was inequitable in substance and not policed in an even handed manner.
