Hi all, I was wondering if any of you had any ideas on how best to make my wife want to start swinging. I have not raised the idea with her as yet and am quite nervous about doing so. I need some way of making her think we both have come up with the idea. We often fantasise about us being watched by guys and them joining in but I don't know how to approach her to ask to do it for real. What you all think?
Hi, welcome to the Forums.......
Firstly, you cant make anybody do something that they dont want to do, but you can gauge the likelihood of your wife wanting other people to participate in your sex life by measured steps.
You say you often talk and fantasise about other people watching you which is the first step we took when my now swinging partner and I were trying to explore our more varied sexual appetites.
The next step we took was to really talk about it and discuss the pros and cons of what we found out we each realistically wanted to do, which is generally much different from fantasy land.
Maybe if you both want to "see what all this is about" perhaps decided on going to a social and seeing what all of these people were really like whereby there is no pressure on you to do anything other than drink have a chat with people etc.
This is probably the best and less risky approach as if you jump straight in without thinking or really talking it over there is bound to be complications somewhere down the line!
Good luck!
Honest open communication works best I think. Joining a swinging site without her knowledge probably isn't indicative of that so maybe it might be an idea to talk to her about it now.
Just my thoughts, hope it helps.
I would say a heck of a lot of people fantasise about having sex with other people. Some keep it as a fantasy and others act them out. Either in their heads or like some in the swinging scene, act it out for real.
Is she the kind of woman that would watch porn and if so is it hard core porn? If she does enjoy watching that then get one where there are either two guys and one fem or, two girls and two guys.
Obviously if she was the kind of woman that does enjoy that kind of thing then you could introduce something like " would you like to do that for real "? See her reaction.
If she does not like porn then that analogy is out the window, and you will just have to be open and ask. Going to a swingers club where there is no pressure to play could be a good start. Seeing people having sex can be very erotic, and a good starter for getting people in the mood.
You have obviously joined this site without her knowledge and if that is the case, then you need to be honest with her from the start.
Good luck though and remember we all have to start somewhere in the swinging scene, and am sure a lot of couples started out exactly as you are doing.
You have obviously joined this site without her knowledge and if that is the case, then you need to be honest with her from the start.
Good luck though and remember we all have to start somewhere in the swinging scene, and am sure a lot of couples started out exactly as you are doing.
F*ck me that would be a risk!!!
What happens if she is so upset about him swinging that it f*cks up their marriage? Would it then have been worth telling her? Get real life aint that black and white.
Maybe what should happen is to suss out how she feels about swinging without letting on, and if the lady doesn't want to, then have a look at his own reason for doing so and make up his own mind about his own priorities and the value placed upon his marriage?
Whatever I hope "uncomplicated" can find an uncomplicated and satisfactory conclusion to his dilemma and in that i wish him all the best and welocome him to the forums.
hi,
i dont know that you can make your wife want to swing.
you joined 3 years ago,( in edit i see it was actually 5 years ago aged 25 then, probally early in teh marriage hum) you are messaging bi guys and tv's andlking to go dogging.
think its a long way down the line for you than her,and you may need to think if you want to open this can of worms.
id imagine if i was in a relationship and my partner was curious about something fair doos if he does a few serches and gets some info and then shows me or asks me my opinions,but toknow youve been active/seeking for 3 year and with men id be a bit more than pissed off.
xx fem xx
I should have read his profile from the start.
So been a member for 3 years, is obviously bi and has I presume met others.....hmmmmm..... and now wants to get his wife, who knows nothing of all this into swinging.
I am keeping my gob well and trully shut on this one now. :censored:
can you be sure she isnt already a swinger?
Introduce her to her husband first. She clearly has no clue who he is.
I used the discussion on fantasies- asked her what hers was- was some mild stuff. then told her mine was to see her with guy. She was interested- after a few days discussed her fantasy again and then again said about mine- and went from there
- still see her fucking guys 3 years later mmmm hope this helps
Perhaps you should encourage your wife in her live her fantasies. However beware it may not go where you expect.
hes been here almost 5 years and is only 30 joined aged 25, probally not long into his marriage.
if he dont want these kinda replies then dont be so dumb in asking swingers who base stuff on trust and consent how he can MAKE his wife wanna swing.
xx fem xx
Here's an idea:
Arrive home from "walking the dog", knock her out with an unsuspecting catfish you picked up earlier, strap her to a cushioned seat, attach it to the ceiling with random leather straps you had lying around and rock her back and forth till she wakes up.
If that fails, hope she ain't swinging for the fences.
Welcome to the forum :smile:
