come on then trapper ive been thinking about how you are getting on all day, please tell us things went great and tell us soon
staggy n rose
Hiya,
The day was a complete success!
The kids were so happy to see, and me them.
They had lots of fun and they were constantly holding my hand,
although i only have two so one had to go on my shoulders (not the 9
year old )
Took lots of photo's and little videos
I now have to plan for my next visit in 2 weeks time.
Thank you all for your advice and support, truly
appreciated!!!
phew i can relax now, i bet you can too, go open a beer sit back and smile :beer:
staggy n rose
lol, i have just done that very thing!!
There are not many threads on this site that can bring a tear to the eye of an old campaigner, but this one did it for me.
waited full of dread and anticipation for the result, (manly hugg :shock: )
nice one mate :thumbup:
sometimes you just have to think, there is a god after all. :smile:
Glad it went well Trapper.
Have 1 for me :cheers:
well done mate! makes a world of diff. showing u care for your kids!
So glad to hear about this! Best of luck for the future.
Just got timed out on a longish reply but will post it later.
Hi again.
The point I was going to make is that if you're a father and want ot have access to your children you have to fight for it. The system is very heavily weighted towards mothers and whilst in many cases that's best, there are an increasing number of fathers who want to and are equipped to be the main carer. The sad truth is though that men are told from the outset that they won't win so they don't even fight and thereby turn the whole thing into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In my friend's case his first solicitor told him it'd be a tough fight but then spent the rest of the time trying to get him to accept the normal 1 weekend in 2 'solution'. In fact they nearly bullied him into accepting it and it was only when he refused, parted company with them and found another solicitor that he received the support he needed to fight on and obtain the settlement he's now achieved. Not only will he have far greater access to his children but the joint residency order gives him additional financial stability in the sense that his needs now have to be better taken into account when the finances are sorted out.
There are several reasons why I feel my friend did so well, not the least of which is that he refused to give up because he knew that trying to secure more access to the children down the line would be far harder. He also sought the involvement of CAFCAS from the outset and it was their independent and objective view of the family situation which confirmed his major role in the childrens lives and indeed the shortcomings of his partner. This was the only independent view offered to the court and without it we have no doubt they'd have sided with the mother as they nearly always do.
Too many men give up from the outset and this is a battle which can't be won if it isn't fought! Yes, the odds are against you but of course that will remain the case unless more fathers turn up on the day and fight for their rights. My firend was reasonable and argued his case logically throughout the process. His wife's team were so sure they'd win they didn't want to compromise and were really seeking to bleed him dry. We think this backfired on them as it became clear the 'right' solution required compromise on both sides and yet this wasn't forthcoming from hers.
The moral of the story is that if you want access or even to be appointed joint or primary carer you have to argue your case. Yes, the stats are against you but so what! If you have a good case and (better still) it's supported by the likes of CAFCAS you have a good chance of success.
know where u coming from left my x and now the kids not want anything to do with me used to see them for 2 hours a month but its faded off now, it really used to bother me a lot and upset my new family so in end decided to call it a day in sorts they in there teens so u know what it be like , we said we here if they ever want see us or anything but not putting life on hold for ever ,
Thanks for your replies everyone.
I have to admit, those two hours i spent with them yesterday did me
the world of good and i can see them again in two weeks.
Bet these next two weeks go vveeerryyy slowly.
PETE,
for some reason i seemed to have missed reading your message, just read it now,
cheers mate!
:high-smile: 
